Text/Yue Yue Dad parenting
According to relevant data surveys, in all parenting families, the proportion of grandmothers and grandmothers helping to bring up babies is 39% and 28% respectively, and the proportion of mothers themselves is also 21%.
After young couples have children, the family economic pressure is generally relatively large, and handing over children to the elderly can greatly reduce their burden, which is also a common phenomenon in today's society, which can also be seen from the data, nearly 70% of children are raised by the elderly.
But there is also a strange phenomenon, the same old people, more and more mothers prefer grandmothers to help bring the baby, is it really grandma who does not want to bring it?
In many families, on the contrary, even if grandma is more suitable for bringing children in all aspects, but Bao's mother will still directly refuse.
Why does Bao's mother prefer her grandmother to help bring the baby? Is the child brought by Grandma really as flawless as the legend suggests?
Is it really that good for grandma to take a baby?
Whether in reality or on the Internet, there are all kinds of drawbacks of grandma with a baby, and some problems definitely exist, but objectively speaking, it will not be so unbearable.
Although rumors and stereotypes stop at the wise, in front of children, most mothers are more anxious, and it is difficult to maintain rational judgment in many rumors, and may even magnify the problem infinitely.
But is grandma really better with a baby than grandma?
1) Grandma with a baby has no mother-in-law and daughter-in-law contradiction
Grandma takes the baby to live with her daughter-in-law for a long time, and the risk of contradiction is indeed relatively high, which cannot be denied.
But is there no contradiction in grandma with a baby? The answer is obviously impossible, many times, even if it is a mother and daughter, conflicts in parenting cannot be avoided, and some families even seriously affect the relationship between mother and daughter.
Of course, grandma may be more humble to Bao's mother, but to put it in the heart, if this is the advantage of grandma bringing a baby, it is simply the misfortune of parents and the sorrow of children.
2) Grandma has fewer problems with children
When it comes to grandma with a baby, many mothers even pout, indignantly saying a lot of problems, such as: doting on children, poor independence, interference in education, and so on.
Of course, many grandmothers have these drawbacks in the process of raising children, but I still have two questions for all mothers:
First, if the child has these problems, is the parenting education in place?
Second, can grandma bring around these problems? Some grandmothers are even better than grandmothers.
Every family is different, and the answers they get are definitely different, but all people have a scale of conscience in their hearts, which can deceive themselves, but they cannot change the objective facts.
The real reason why Bao's mother prefers her grandmother to bring a baby
Children, whether it is grandma or grandma, although they have their own advantages in details, but there are also some problems, there is no need to blindly step on the low and high, which is not only not in line with the objective facts, but also a performance of shirking their own responsibility.
So, why is Bao's mother more inclined to grandmother with a baby? These 3 careful machines, Bao's mother may not be able to speak.
1) Baoma protects the calf
Even if there is no abnormality in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and mother-in-law does not do anything to hurt her daughter-in-law's heart every day, in the hearts of some mothers, they will still be very disgusted with their grandma being close, and they always feel that they will rob their children with themselves.
At this time, the difference between grandmother and grandma is reflected, Bao's mother usually does not protect the calf in front of the mother, and the attitude of the grandmother to the child is also a world of difference.
2) Trust your grandmother more
Bao's mother trusts her grandmother more, although it is not very fair to grandma, but it is emotionally reasonable, after all, the two people have neither blood relationship, nor deep emotional intersection, and lack mutual trust between each other.
In addition, the rumors about grandma bringing a baby have been ingrained in the minds of many mothers, worried that they will bring their children out of the problem, which will not only not bring convenience to themselves, but cause greater trouble.
Compared with her grandmother, Bao's mother knows her grandmother's parenting style well, and after more than 20 years of running-in, this unparalleled trust can not only be summed up simply by blood relations.
3) Strengthen the bond between the child and the mother-in-law
From a traditional point of view, after a daughter marries into another family, the bond with the original family is bound to gradually weaken, or even separate. As the older generation often says, the daughter who marries splashes water.
For Bao's mother, letting the grandmother bring the baby can not only deepen the relationship between herself and her mother's family, but also allow the child to form a family bond with her mother's family, which is very beneficial to their growth, so why not?
Grandma does not bring a baby, and the child still has a high chance of being close to them when he grows up, but if the grandmother does not bring the baby, the vast majority of children will only go further and further away from them, not only have no intersection, but also are more emotionally indifferent.
What I want to say is
Whether the child brings it to grandma or grandmother, it is normal for a mother to have her own care, but it must be judged according to the actual situation of each family, mainly depending on who is more suitable for the growth of the baby. If you blindly use emotional intimacy to decide, it may not only be difficult for grandmother, but also cold grandma's heart, which is not conducive to the stability of family relationships.
For grandmothers and grandmothers, bringing children is not their obligation, if there are old people willing to help bring children, it is the greatest blessing for young couples, if you use emotional affinity to pick and choose, it is the greatest blasphemy to love the elderly.
Do you think grandma and grandma, who is better with a baby?