If the father is as majestic as the mountain, the mother is as vast as the sea, the mountain gives people to rely on, and the sea soothes people's hearts.
If the father is the guiding light on the road of life, the mother is a fire in winter, the lamp illuminates the direction, and the fire brings warmth.
The father is the sky, far-sighted, and determines the height of the family.
The mother is the earth, gentle and inclusive, which determines the temperature of the family.
Dad's high emotional intelligence and mother's good mood are the best feng shui for a family.
Mom's good mood,
Determine the temperature of a home
Dr. Hong Lan of Psychology said:
"A mother is the soul of a family: if the mother is happy, the whole family is happy; If the mother is anxious, the whole family is anxious. ”
The mother's emotions are often a barometer of whether a family is harmonious.
The mother's good mood can make the child feel happy and confident, and is a booster to promote the child's progress;
Bad mood of the mother will make the child feel depressed and inferior, which is the fuse that promotes the child's depression and academic stoppage.
In the process of growing up a child, the influence of the mother's emotions on the child is enormous.
Some educators say that a loving mother is better than a dozen stunt teachers.
A mother with peaceful emotions will bring children an optimistic, positive and sunny attitude, and the children raised will be strong and confident and brave inside.
On Zhihu, there is a question: What happened to those children whose parents were grumpy when they grew up?
One of them had a highly praiseworthy answer, which read:
Children who grow up become grumpy parents.
Unable to face others and oneself calmly, unable to perceive happiness and delicate feelings, unable to accept the reasonable demands and suggestions of others;
Good at dirty words, always swayed by emotions, selfish, willful, accomplished, and not good in life.
Parents are like a mirror, and the good or bad emotions will be directly engraved on the child and become what the child will look like when he grows up.
Behind an excellent family, there is often a mother with good emotions.
Mom should learn to stabilize her emotions and control her mouth, and the three suggestions are as follows.
1. Be calm and do not lose your temper.
The words spoken are like spilled water, not only can not be recovered, but also leave traces.
What you say represents your thoughts and images.
Inappropriate words are like a rain of bullets, and the sentences hurt, while the warm words make people feel like a spring breeze.
Treating children especially should pay attention to their own words and deeds, and not lose their temper, which is one of the basic cultivations of mothers.
Psychological experts say: In the face of parents' irritable temper for a long time, children will become fragile and sensitive, inferior and self-contained, and even cause psychological depression.
Everyone is also difficult to get rid of the influence of their original family throughout their life, no matter how many years have passed, you can always see the imprint left by your original family.
When you want to lose your temper, take three deep breaths and replace the tantrum with communication;
Expressing one's wishes peacefully and firmly, and educating children with empathy, is much better than lashing out.
2. Be sensible and do not criticize.
Although educating and supervising children is the responsibility and obligation of parents, it does not mean that you can criticize children anytime, anywhere, and as you like.
For example, have you ever criticized a child like this:
"Why are you so stupid!"
"What are you crying, you still have a face to cry?"
"I said no, I just can't."
……
After children do wrong things and are wronged, what they need is not to accuse, complain and scold, but to be understood, cared for and listened to.
Children are raised slowly, and educating children is like leading a snail for a walk, which requires the delicate care and understanding of parents.
3. Encourage and praise children more.
As parents, we should be good at discovering and focusing on their children's brilliance and advantages, and give affirmation, appreciation and encouragement in time.
Every child hopes and desires to be valued by parents and teachers, and appreciation and encouragement satisfy this psychology of children.
Appreciation and encouragement are the rain and sunshine of children's growth.
A word of praise from mom and dad can make them full of happiness.
However, not all praise is appropriate.
How to praise children?
- Don't praise in generalities, such as you're awesome, you're smart, etc.;
- To praise children, we must be specific and pay attention to the process of children's efforts, so that children know where they are the best;
- Let children understand that the process of effort is more important than the result.
Mom's emotions,
Hidden in Daddy's high emotional intelligence
The child's happiness mainly depends on the mother, and the mother's good mood depends on the father.
A father with high emotional intelligence is the greatest luck of a family.
A father with high emotional intelligence can not only change his wife's temper, but also subtly affect the emotional intelligence and personality of his children.
I remember when my daughter was 4 years old, she once sat on the bench to eat, accidentally fell and broke the bowl.
I frowned and said casually: Why are you so careless!
Although I didn't blame her, the child was on the verge of crying because he had broken things.
At this time, Dad stood next to him and said, "It's good that I didn't break my girl's ass." ”
The daughter, who tried to endure the cry, giggled because of her father's dry humor.
The meaning of father is influence.
An emotionally stable dad got an equally peaceful child in exchange for a mild-natured mom.
Mr. Cai Yuanpei said in the book "The Cultivation of Chinese": What determines a child's life is not academic performance, but sound personality cultivation!
Successful tutoring is closely related to parents' verbal expression, especially the tone of voice of parents and children, which affects and determines the development of children's emotional intelligence.
A key part of emotional intelligence education is to help children recognize emotions, and then learn to express and manage emotions.
Children can learn to express their emotions in an appropriate way, which is a very important good habit, not only conducive to the development of their mental health, but also improve their emotional intelligence.
Educating children is actually a process of parents constantly improving and cultivating themselves.
In life, if you lose your temper with your child at every turn, if you say something angry, your child will naturally learn to be irritable and angry.
William Bernard wrote this sentence in the Harvard Family Motto:
"Don't think that your family won't mind your injury, injury is like hammering a nail in a fence, even if the nail is pulled out, it will still leave a mark."
Parents with real high emotional intelligence know how to have something to say well, not only to deal with their emotions, but also to guide their children to deal with emotions in time.
Husband and wife love and harmony,
The best feng shui for a family
Austrian psychologist, once investigated the fathers of 398 criminals, of which 183 had drunken fathers and 120 fathers gambling, sexual indulgence, dishonesty ...
Most families have one thing in common: family relationships are not harmonious.
The researchers found that offenders from these families were impulsive in their teenage years, had more delirties and antisocial behaviors, and lacked self-control.
Many families begin to shift their focus towards their children after they are born.
In fact, this is a wrong choice, and the husband and wife relationship is the anchor of family relations.
I deeply believe that loving parents is the best nourishment for children's growth.
The American writer Dreiser:
"A harmonious family air is a kind of flower in the world;
Nothing is gentler than it, nothing is more beautiful, nothing is more suitable for cultivating the nature of a family into strength and integrity. ”
It really is.
A warm and loving growth environment is the best growth gift for children and the best family style for a family.
* Daily Montessori: Montessori growth communication platform, a public account with content, depth and temperature.