Most of the post-90s and post-00s grew up in families with only children, and they can't appreciate what it is like to have brothers and sisters at home.
However, most of the post-70s and post-80s generations have a deep feeling for their brothers and sisters at home.
Although they are all born of a pair of parents, there are several brothers and sisters, but their personalities are completely different, some are like dad, some are like mom, and some are neither like dad nor mom.
Character determines destiny.
Therefore, although the same children of the same family, the fate will be completely different. And among siblings, some tend to have a good life, some will have a bad life, what kind of character will have a good life?
What is the ranking of such children?
Brothers and sisters, the "best life" is often this, not superstition, there is indeed a basis.
One: In different families, the positioning and personality of the child
In the book "Children: The Challenge", there is a description of the "family constellation". Every child will find their own zodiac sign in their own family.
The status in the family generally affects the formation of children's concepts. Parents' response to their children also influences their children's behavior patterns.
In families with many children, children are not always harmonious, but more compete with each other to get more attention and love from their parents.
(1) A family of two children
In the time before the birth of the second eldest child, the eldest enjoyed the meticulous care of his parents . He can get all the favor of his parents.
However, after the birth of the second eldest child, the situation was reversed. The old assembly misses the rights he had as an only son and feels that it is unfair to be pushed off the altar by a "weak person".
It took time for him to get used to the situation, and his parents began to have an expectation of the eldest because they all wanted their brother or sister to help him and take care of his younger brother and sister.
At this time, the old assembly re-finds his goal, as long as he takes care of his younger siblings, he will regain the favor of his parents and gain their attention.
The boss is positioned as a caregiver.
And the second eldest has not experienced the time of being favored by his parents since he was born, and in front of him, there will always be an older brother or sister who is more capable than him.
Because the person in front of him is always clearer than himself, powerful, able to take care of himself, and even able to read and write.
His own incompetence makes him feel frustrated, but because of his young age, he will get the unconditional love of his parents. The feeling is that even though I'm not as good as my brother (or sister), my mom and dad still love me.
The positioning of the second eldest is the role of the caregiver.
In this way, in a family of two children, the eldest character is often more caring, responsible, empathetic, and more organized. The character of the second eldest is often easy to rely on people, and is more emotional, emotionally rich, naïve, and simple and unscheming.
(2) Families with three or more children
"The old one hurts, the old and the young love, the one in the middle kicks with his foot", this saying vividly describes the situation of a family with more than three children.
When there are only two children in the family, the eldest is generally very good at taking care of people, and the second eldest deserves to enjoy the care of the whole family. If a third child suddenly arrives in the house, everything is completely different.
For the second eldest child, his situation is much sadder than when the eldest was born.
When all the favor was transferred from himself to the youngest child, the second eldest suddenly found that he neither had the ability of the eldest to take care of others, nor could he be pampered by his parents like when he was a child.
He will try to find his family place through his own efforts. The eldest has received the attention of his parents through the role of taking care of people, and the old and young can make their parents happy by selling a cute.
And where is your way out?
As often overlooked beings, they may imitate the boss and strive to become a caring role, or they may learn from the old and the young, and regain the favor of their parents by selling cute.
Or, through some bad behavior, let parents criticize themselves. After all, being criticized by parents is also a concern.
However, often these behaviors are difficult to work.
As a result, the second eldest is often very strong, competitive, and awkward. In their hearts, they often think that their lives must be developed by themselves, and I want to make my own decisions.
They tend to have clear goals in life, are more realistic, do not love illusions, and believe that action is more useful than fantasy.
Although they are often overlooked, they are not burdened with the high expectations of their parents, which allows them to move forward without pressure. "Make a show to your parents" is their motto.
Families with more than three children in the family, all the middle children, face the same situation as the second child, so the mental journey is the same as the situation of the second child.
So, what is the fate of these children when they grow up? Which child's fate will be better?
Two: When children grow up, their respective personalities create a destiny
In a family of two children, the eldest has a responsible personality and takes care of younger siblings like a parent. Such children generally grow up to be able to take responsibility, be good at organization and management, and do things in a plan. They tend to be more likely to achieve success in the secular sense, that is, "productive."
And because the second eldest is pampered since childhood, he tends to rely on others, so when he grows up, he is often less likely to take care of himself and less able to take care of others. Children who have been spoiled since childhood, when they grow up, it is difficult to make a living.
In families with more than three siblings, it is often difficult for the middle children to get the attention of their parents, so they are generally realists, do not care about false names, they have a competitive personality, and believe that success cannot rely on others, only on their own.
Therefore, such children will often grow up to be very productive.
What do you think is the best child in the ranking?
[Picture from the Internet, invasion and deletion]
I am Yuzi's father, there is a "little devil" at home, I grow up with her, if you like it, pay attention to it~