Hello everyone, I am a psychologist Zichen dad~

As a parent, Fang knows that raising a child is really not easy, carrying life on his shoulders and holding hope in his hands. No matter how stressful it is, parents never complain for their children; No matter how hard life is, parents always leave the best to their children ...

It is said that raising children is to prevent aging, but in the hearts of most parents, they do not expect that they can enjoy the blessings of their children when they are old, but only hope that in their old age, their children can be filial and reliable.

However, it is such a simple wish, many parents have not been able to get their wish, and people are still heartbroken by their children in their old age.

The 80-year-old man cried that none of the four children were filial

Once I saw such a sad video, 77-year-old Grandma Li raised five children in her life, because her wife rarely returned home because she worked on the railway. Due to the difficult economic conditions and the lack of energy to take care of the five children, Grandma Li had to give one of the children to someone else for adoption. The remaining 4 children were all raised by Grandma Li, and the hardships are self-evident.

Although Grandma Li gave everything for her 4 children, when Grandma Li was 87 years old and could not take care of herself and needed to be taken care of by others, none of the 4 children was willing to accompany her, let alone take the old mother over to support.

Not to mention, when the children heard that the old house was going to be demolished, the children rushed to use Grandma Li's words, "They just came to ask for the house and ask for money!" ”

Grandma Li was gray-haired and skinny, and she should have enjoyed the happiness of her children and grandchildren, but she had to drag her elderly body and crutches with difficulty, climbing up and down the fifth floor with difficulty to buy food and daily necessities.

In the constant dispute between the four children over the division of the relocation money, only the child who was sent out back then, occasionally brought food, clothes, and daily necessities to the elderly every day, and the old man who was sometimes sober looked at the child who had been abandoned by himself every day and felt guilty in his heart.

How sad and painful, the child who put himself on the tip of his heart has become a selfish and heartless person, who does not understand gratitude and filial piety.

People do not understand until later in life that children who are not filial generally show 4 characteristics at an early age

As the old saying goes, "three years old looks big, seven years old looks old", unfilial children can actually see some clues from a young age, and generally show 4 characteristics. Therefore, if you want your children to be filial in the future and let themselves rely on old age, parents should keep their eyes open and prevent in advance.

Characteristic 1: Lack of responsibility, no responsibility

Some young people are young and vigorous, looking for a job, they choose to stay at home if they can't find a satisfactory job, although they have graduated, but their parents still have to bear his economic expenses, and they have no sense of responsibility; There are also young people who cannot find a satisfactory job after graduation, so they want to "enter graduate school, public examination, and teacher examination", because the exam is not easy, many people take the exam for two or three years, all relying on the support of their parents.

Although they grew up, they did not become "people". At an age where you can rely on your own efforts to support yourself, you still try your best to escape, without paying any attention to your responsibilities.

What's more, like this 29-year-old man, he neither started a family nor worked, and even if his parents helped him find a job, he felt that he could not earn money and quit his job after two days. Every day, he would only lie in bed playing with his mobile phone and sleeping, and he didn't care about big and small things at home, and when his parents had no money to play games and buy clothes for him, he actually justifiably sued his parents for the "crime of not raising".

Such a child who has no sense of responsibility and no responsibility, when his parents are old, do you still expect him to have the ability to earn money to support you?

Characteristic 2: Selfishness, blindly taking

I once saw a hot topic, "What is the scariest type of person you've ever met?" ”

There is an answer that has been endorsed by many people, "People who carve selfishness into their bones, in their lives, there is no true feeling, only the size of the profit." ”

Some children, when they are young, go to other people's houses to play, fancy other children's toys, and if they don't give them, they will grab them hard; Growing up, the exam wanted to copy the answers of his classmates, but when the classmates did not give them, they tore up his answer cards; When he became an adult, he wanted to sell his parents' house to get a girlfriend, but his parents didn't want to, so he turned his face and even beat up the old man.

What you want must be obtained, what you can't get is destroyed, and selfishness is like a seed planted in his heart, unknowingly turning into a cancer.

Children like this, who seek small profits when they are young, will only have interests in their eyes when they grow up, and will not know how to be filial to their parents.

Feature 3: If you don't know how to be grateful, you will take revenge

Children who do not understand gratitude take parental love for granted, education as hatred, and blood ties as reasons to be wantonly harmed.

Once I saw a video in a mobile phone store, the boy took a fancy to a certain mobile phone, so he asked his mother to buy it for himself. When the mother refused for fear of delaying the child's learning, the next scene made everyone in the store dumbfounded.

After the boy learned that his needs could not be met, he instantly launched an "attack" on his mother, without thinking at all about how much his mother had paid to raise him so big, not only tearing his mother's hair with his hands, kicking his mother's stomach with his feet, but also hitting his mother on the head with his fists...

A child who can punch and kick his parents in front of everyone; How can a child who does not know how to be grateful and will take revenge grow up with a benevolent heart, and how can he be filial to his parents when he grows up?

Feature 4: No rules, no bottom line

The family without rules is the source of evil; Unruly children are the beginning of disaster.

Once there was a "bear child" in our community, at first, he just playfully pressed the elevator on each floor, and later, he even spat on the buttons.

The property and the neighbors all found the child's mother and asked her to take care of it, but the child's mother said indifferently: "He's just a child, isn't it normal to be naughty?" ”

Whenever a child makes a mistake, we always hear the explanation: "He's just a child." ”

The doting of parents gives children the confidence to constantly test and gradually move from mistakes to crime; The indulgence of parents makes children unable to see the boundaries of being a person and doing things, and falls into the abyss step by step.

Not long after, the child pushed down a pregnant woman downstairs, and when he asked the reason for the child, the child said: "I'm just for fun~"

Ultimately, parents pay for their children's behavior.

epilogue

A family, the highest level of showing off wealth, is not a house and a car, but the cultivation of knowledgeable, kind and kind offspring; The greatest sorrow of parenthood is not illness and hardship, but giving everything to raise an unfilial child.

There are no natural "bear children", only parents who cannot educate their children, and I hope that parents will not only pay attention to their children's learning, but also teach their children the truth of being human.

Some pictures come from the Internet, invaded and deleted

Holding a family counselor certificate and a national three-level psychological counselor certificate, he focuses on family education and children's mental health, and shares modern scientific parenting knowledge and experience every day.

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