Last Saturday morning, I was getting ready to go out when Andy suddenly said something like, "Mom, I don't want to go to taekwondo class this afternoon!" ”
At that time, I was in a hurry to go out, so I said to him: "When my mother comes back at noon, we will talk about this matter again, now let's practice calligraphy first!" ”
As I walked along, I began to ponder his words: "I don't want to go to taekwondo class today!" ”
What do you think when you hear your child say this? Pause for 3 seconds!
Okay, let me tell you what I think, and see if it's the same as you think?
First of all, he said that he didn't want to go up "today", and he didn't say that he wouldn't go up in the future;
Secondly, he said "don't want to go", not "don't go to class", which is an expression of his idea, not a decision of his;
Finally, since studying taekwondo in the past few years, he has not said that he does not want to take taekwondo classes;
Combining the above, I analyze what special circumstances he may have today. Let's have a good chat in the afternoon!
When I came back at noon to finish eating, we had a good chat for a while.
At the beginning, he only said that he didn't want to go to class today, and the next time he went again, he wouldn't say the reason, and later under my persistence and guidance, he cried emotionally and said: "I can't press my legs, the coach will press me hard... It hurts..."
In his intermittent crying, I learned that the coach pressed their legs last week, and found that his legs could not be pressed, so he let him practice every day, and the next class had to press the legs. And he didn't practice at all this week, he was going to class today, he remembered this matter, afraid that the coach would squeeze his legs hard and hurt him, so he didn't want to go!
[I want to be quiet] [I want to be quiet] [I want to be quiet]
What would you do if your child had such a situation?
"Whoever made you not practice, deserved it!" Hurry up and go to class! ”
"Like learning, practicing taekwondo is also about perseverance, practicing every day, now you know?" The coach is doing this to give you more effort so that you can..."
"Oh, then let's not go, I'll talk to the coach."
……
What kind of parent are you? [Teeth]
In fact, according to my personality, I am likely to be the third situation, the children are scared into this, this time do not go to it, we practice at home for a week, the next class to go again... [I want to be quiet]
However, I know that this is very bad for the character cultivation of boys, and it is easy for him to have the idea of escaping and withdrawing when he encounters difficulties and setbacks, so the old mother did not say anything.
How do I do that? Let's take a look!
A little boy who wept bitterly
Step 1: Soothe emotions. I soothed his emotions first, "You're worried right now, worried that the coach will hurt you, aren't you?" ”
The child nodded with tears in his eyes, "He will definitely... He's just going to put us down now..."
I nodded and said with anguish, "That must have hurt." ”
Andy suppressed tears and said, "It hurts, but it hurts..." She sobbed in grievance.
Step 2: Wait. Yes, that's right, just waiting, waiting for him to calm down. Because the child's emotions are seen, and they are not judged and criticized, he can have the courage to face his emotions and overcome the "little monsters of emotions" in his heart.
Step 3: Encouragement. The current situation is that Andy does not want to face the difficulties he encounters, and with the idea of escape, what I need to do is to make him pluck up the courage to face this situation, after all, this situation is his own creation, he needs to face it, to solve it.
"Child, I know you're scared now, and your mother has been afraid of things, do you know what your mother will do?"
Andy: "You know, Mom used to say that everyone has something to be afraid of, and the sign of growing up is to overcome fear." ”
Give the child a hug, "You've really grown up!" ”
Step 4: Action. Looking at him, he already knew what to do, but there was still a little bit of luck in his heart, and he refused to act.
I said, "Mom, go change your clothes now and wait for you at the door, okay?" ”
Andy looked at me, saw my determined eyes and gentle smile, and nodded!
The course was attended normally, the coach did not press him hard, the class process was very pleasant, and the whole clothes were soaked! [Cute]
After class, the child said happily: "I will definitely press my legs this week!" ”
Dance, art and music are almost standard for every girl
Now almost every child has extracurricular classes, musical instruments, dance, sports, calligraphy, art, etc., when the child proposes not to go to class, parents need to analyze what the child said he did not want to go, he never wanted to go again, or just this time, this time do not want to go!
Whether he didn't like the content of the class, or if he didn't adapt to the teacher, or if there were new classmates in the class, he didn't like it... There may be many reasons, parents can carefully observe and guide their children to speak out, specific problems specific analysis.
[Rose] Must not judge children or criticize education as soon as they hear children say that they do not want to go to class!
The above sharing is a personal case, welcome readers to leave messages, comments, share your experience! [Rose] [Chinese praise]