These days, I am listening to Dr. Yang Dingyi's book club. I heard a reader ask: This is a mom who said she wanted to ask a question on behalf of parents all over the world: As a parent, you have a responsibility to bring up your little ones. From an early age, let him go to a good school, let him seek fame, let him get a good job. But in this process, we often see that children will be very unhappy. But parents will struggle, assuming that I don't force you, don't force you to study well, don't force you to learn the piano well, your future may be very difficult. Then we in elementary school and middle school have been forcing our children to study well, and in the process, our parents are also very unhappy. But that's how our parents taught us, and that's how we go. We are struggling, forcing the child, and the parents of the child are unhappy; Do not force the child, for fear that his future life will not go well. So it's like doing sit-ups, sometimes getting up and sometimes lying flat. How can we get out of this predicament?
Hearing this question, I felt that it was also a question in my heart. I believe that many mothers are also like this, too struggling, too contradictory. So how did Dr. Yang answer this question?
He said that this is indeed a problem that every parent has. His answer is not to think so much! Don't regret it. The whole society is in a coma, but I am part of this society. The constraints are not brought by me, but by the whole earth, the whole society. The Chinese have the constraints of the Chinese, and the Westerners have the constraints of the Westerners. So there are no contradictions, contradictions are still self-made. What do you do or what to do, it's okay. The question is whether there is a contradiction in your mind. Have you treated the child excessively coma, forcing him to make him unable to accept it? As long as your heart is love, for the future of your children, nothing happens. Don't be deliberate, don't overdo it. We need to understand that a person can still learn in the happiest state, not from the most disturbed and unhappy state. What you learn in your most unhappy state is quickly forgotten. You can achieve the same goal in another way, if there is one purpose. So there is nothing to talk about, there are no contradictions. This is a system that every parent can easily educate their children under the current system.
The current system is a big constraint, and under the big constraint there are small constraints and small constraints. The state has a national constraint, is politics not a constraint? There are no contradictions. It's all easy, what to do and what to do. If this child can learn a little more, let him learn a little more, but happy learning, at most, this is fine. Don't push the child, push too much. Do what you have to do. When you wake up, these problems are not a problem. You will know what to do with your child, and you will know how to interact with your child or even not interact. Because all of it, it seems to be in one delusion, to bring out another delusion, and then a small delusion. How do I manage such a delusion? What do I want to do better? At most? Sometimes I ask, first of all, do you yourself know who you are? Who are your? So don't create contradictions, contradictions are artificial. Don't add another head, a nest, or a reproach, or a melancholy. Don't think about how to teach children better, your own heart will tell you. Nothing.
Dr. Yang said that this is a simple answer that will be opened again later when there is an opportunity. Well, I accept this answer, which seems to me to be a good answer. Don't think so much, your own heart will tell you. Do not artificially create contradictions, do not push the child excessively, try to let him learn in a happy state. Find the answer to who are you first, and you will know how to treat another life.