Some time ago, I chatted with a friend about her daughter who was in junior high school, and my friend looked helpless. She said that once her daughter wanted to eat braised pork, so she braved the heavy rain to go to the supermarket to buy ingredients. After buying it, I was afraid of delaying time, so I hurried to cook with wet hair. It takes time to make braised pork, but my daughter waited a little impatiently, standing at the kitchen door and complaining one after another: "Can you hurry, I'm starving." Although her friend was a little sad, she still replied to her daughter: "Wait a little longer, it'll be fine right away." ”
During the meal, her friend thought that the braised pork was done well, so she ate two more bites. Unexpectedly, her daughter brought the plate directly to her, protected her hands and said with a serious face: "You can't eat anymore, it's mine." "At that moment, my friend's heart was worse than a needle prick. Her soaked hair and busy figure did not seem to be seen by her daughter. She couldn't figure it out, the little baby who hugged her mother when she was a child and said that she would always love her mother, and when she grew up, she would buy a lot of things for her mother, why did she suddenly not feel sorry for her mother now? Yes, why don't children feel sorry for you when they grow up?
According to the survey, 27.8% of primary and secondary school students do not know what their parents like; 33.3% of primary and secondary school students do not know what their parents' birthday is. Many children take everything their parents do for granted, but it is difficult to appreciate the hardships of parenting. Why doesn't your child feel sorry for you when he grows up? Actually, from the beginning of doing these three things to them, you are wrong.
One is to get used to listening to children. "Dad, I'm thirsty, bring me water." When the child was young, it was really difficult to pour water by himself, so we helped do it. But when the child grows up, such orders become more and more, "Dad, bring me shoes, Mom, I don't have chopsticks, bring me a pair, Dad, put this book back, etc., at this time, should we still have everything in a big package, help to the end?" We need to know that when children get the response they want to all their commands, they develop the bad habit of ordering others at will.
The second is to meet all the needs of children. When a child is born, most parents will consciously hide their needs and put the needs of their children first. Even when your child grows up, it's hard to realize that some of his needs are excessive. For example, grandpa wants to watch TV news, but grandson wants to watch another channel, at this time grandpa must give in, what the child wants to eat, even if it is a long detour, the father must do it, all the requirements of the child, parents do not agree, the child loses his temper, the family immediately agrees and so on. Over time, children will develop a "self-centered" personality, and they will feel that everyone must give in to him.
Third, children are rarely encouraged to share. "Dad, this apple is so sweet, you can taste it too!" "No, dad doesn't eat it, you eat it all." "Mom, the prawns are so delicious, why don't you eat them?" "If you like it, you will give it to you, and the mother will eat something else" Out of love for their children, parents always take their children as the center, leave the best to their children, and take care of them as treasures in the palm of their hands. Over time, children tend to form selfish personalities, with only himself and no one else in sight. Slowly, he didn't know how to feel sorry for his parents.
Before the age of 6, children have limited thinking skills, so they are often self-centered and do not see the needs of others. This is characteristic of his age, not really "selfish". But as we grow older, if we do not deliberately guide our children to experience the feelings of others in our lives, then it is easy for children to form "self" thinking habits and ways of doing things in life. Therefore, we should do the following:
First, we must treat everyone equally. When our child reaches the age of two, we can no longer treat him as a small baby. The degree of food and clothing at home should be treated equally, such as food, everyone can eat, not only children can eat, or children eat leftover adults. When a child finds himself at home treating everyone else the same, he slowly removes the sense of "self-centeredness."
Second, we must learn to refuse unreasonable demands. Many of the child's requests are actually unreasonable, and we parents must firmly refuse this. He cried, he made trouble, so he patiently communicated with him and explained the stakes to him. Instead of him crying and making trouble, we will be soft-hearted. When the child's unreasonable request is clearly rejected again and again, and the reason for the refusal is informed, he can gradually learn to look at the problem from the perspective of others and understand others.
The third is to do housework together. Children who do housework from an early age can not only exercise hand-eye coordination, but also understand that they are also part of this big family and need to put in effort to be rewarded. At the same time, children who can contribute to their own families will have a higher sense of self-worth and are more willing to be considerate of others and help others.
The fourth is to share more. In life, in addition to guiding children to share more at home, we should also encourage him to exchange toys with other children, eat snacks together, and experience the satisfaction brought by sharing.