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Maternal love is the greatest emotion in the world, and for the sake of the child, the mother will burst with unprecedented energy.
For a child to grow up healthy, motherhood is the most important nourishing fertilizer.
It can even be said that childhood without maternal love is destined to be unhappy.
However, some children's understanding of maternal love is somewhat different from that of ordinary children, which has a lot to do with parents' lack of timely psychological communication.
Under the influence of long-term maternal love, a strong "Oedipal complex" has been bred in their hearts.
This feeling is obviously deformed, and excessive dependence will also have a very bad impact on the child and the whole family in the future.
But in childhood, it is normal for us to rely on our mothers, how did this deformed plot come about?
How serious are the results?
In fact, the second generation of a certain star in the entertainment industry is a typical example of having an Oedipal complex.
After he entered the entertainment industry that year, because of his fame and his father's influence, he was surrounded by countless beautiful women.
But in the face of these beauties, he was not interested, and boldly admitted in public that he had an Oedipal complex.
I once had a relationship with a woman who was slightly older and similar to her mother.
Speaking of this, everyone may think that this Oedipal complex does not seem to be much of a problem, if he does not take drugs, even if he has this deformed complex, he can develop very well.
But if you hear about this case from Japan, you will change your opinion.
With an Oedipal complex, you can't find a girlfriend today
Unlike the era when parents decided marriage with the words of a matchmaker, modern society advocates free love.
Men and women decide whether they are suitable to be together according to each other's personality and various conditions.
In today's female mate selection circle, there is a very interesting situation, that is, Ma Bao Man must die!
The author actually doesn't quite understand what is going on with this kind of man's thinking.
As an adult and a man of family age, he should have his own thoughts and opinions on various matters in life and work.
If he asks his mother what he thinks about anything, what his mother says, he will do it, completely without his own ideas.
If there is no mother's opinion, then he will be afraid of everything he does, and he will not have the slightest male arrogance.
And in the relationship between the sexes, men with an Oedipal complex, whether right or wrong, will unconditionally choose to side with their mothers.
The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law itself is a very sensitive topic, and the saddest thing for a woman is that after going to her husband's house, there is no slightest status, mother and son are united, and they seem to be just outsiders in this family, feeling very lonely.
Not to say that Ma Bao man can not marry, from a psychological point of view, whether it is Ma Bao man, or the mother who cultivates Ma Bao man, there are more or less psychological problems.
Such mothers are often very strong in terms of personality, able to control their son's emotions, influence his decisions, and enjoy this feeling of being in control.
Of course, this situation is only part of the situation, and there are many men who unilaterally rely on their mothers, have an Oedipal complex, and have nothing to do with their mothers.
But what is certain is that most men with an Oedipal complex do not have their own opinions.
In a defined relationship, especially in marriage, many decisions should be made by both people and listen to each other's ideas.
In the end, even if there is a negative result, it is borne by the husband and wife.
If after marriage, she still asks her mother about everything, and does not care about her wife's opinion, her wife will inevitably feel that she has no choice in this family and is not respected.
Such marriages, at least in the eyes of most modern women, are unacceptable.
So with an Oedipal complex, it is very likely that you will not find a girlfriend of the same age.
Those strong mothers will also instinctively be hostile to their son's girlfriend and will not pay attention to their own problems when there is an argument, which is really sad.
The essential difference between the existence of Oedipus and deformed Oedipus
The so-called Oedipus itself does not have problems, which is a psychological change that occurs when the boy grows up.
Especially when I was 3-6 years old, I would instinctively rely on my mother and couldn't wait to stick together all day.
At this stage, even men who are close to their mothers are repelled, and even their own fathers are repulsed.
As a mother, you will enjoy the feeling of being protected by a little man, and your child will listen to her own words.
But most boys at this stage, after gaining enough security, the heart yearning for freedom also appears, and they begin to break away from the state of Oedipus.
This is a very basic male upbringing, the so-called deformed Oedipus, because of the love for the mother, the misplaced emotions.
From this theoretical point of view, both men and women will actually have the so-called deformed Oedipal complex.
They will turn their dependence into a very complex feeling, with respect, family affection, and love trace elements mixed in.
If the Oedipal complex is serious, it is likely to lead to a terrible ending that cannot be ended.
For example, this case in Japan.
Oedipal homicide from Japan
In March 2014, in a horrific case in Kawaguchi, Japan, a 17-year-old child brutally killed his grandparents.
After the police went to the crime scene, they saw two octogenarians lying in a pool of blood, and the deep knife marks on their bodies looked shocking.
The police didn't have to think, what kind of person would do such a beastly act?
When the police searched the house, they found that all the bank cards and cash in the house had been taken away.
The police thought that the robbers might have seen that there were only two old men in the house without the power of chickens, so they became vicious, killed people and took away the money.
However, when the police carried out network and monitoring and control, they found that the person who took the disappeared bank card and went to the bank to withdraw money turned out to be Xiaoxi, the grandson of the two.
This child has a somewhat cold personality in his usual life, and does not like to communicate with others, just like a weak scholar who does not eat fireworks.
The police did not torture him very seriously, but patiently persuaded him, wondering what Xiaoxi had experienced that day.
At this time, Xiao Xi also realized that he couldn't run away, but he was still unwilling to open his mouth.
After the investigation of the police, his grandparents usually treat him very well, and usually ask Xiaoxi to come to the house to accompany them, which is the role that Xiaoxi has helped greatly on the road to growth.
An introverted child like Xiaoxi was unwilling to open his mouth, so the police could only use gentle offensives to open his heart.
Perhaps also realizing that his mistake was an act of ingratitude, he felt guilty in his heart, and he coldly squeezed out a sentence from his mouth: "As long as my mother does not leave me, I am willing to do whatever I do!" ”
After continuous visits and questioning of Xiaoxi, the police learned about the child's tragic childhood. Xiaoxi's father is a domestic violence man, often alcoholic, and after drinking, he will vent his violent emotions by beating Xiaoxi,
The weak mother once prevented her husband's violence, but the end result was that she was beaten even with herself.
Every time Xiaoxi was beaten, her mother would gently pull Xiaoxi into her arms, stroke Xiaoxi's hair, and sing to him.
Xiaoxi's wounded heart was soothed by her mother again and again, and fell asleep in song.
Finally, when Xiaoxi was 10 years old, her mother decided to leave this violent and heartless man and take Xiaoxi to live with his grandparents.
In order to support Xiaoxi, she had to leave her grandparents' house and go to the big city to work.
Before the age of 10, all of Xiaoxi's sense of security came from his mother, and when his mother went out to work and left him, he was extremely uncomfortable and silent.
No matter how good his grandparents were to him, he wouldn't have much emotional response.
Xiaoxi's mother, like Xiaoxi, is also unhappy, a divorced woman, age is also there, it is difficult to find the job she wants.
Under the constraints of life, she picked up the bad habit of gambling when she was young, and thought of living a happy life after gambling a lot of money.
As the so-called ten bets and nine losses, Xiaoxi's mother is no exception.
After many gambling activities, Xiaoxi's mother can be said to have lost her blood.
In order to survive, she decided to sell her dignity and return to the home of Xiaoxi's grandparents, join a sex trafficking organization, and become a street girl.
Xiaoxi has seen her mother return home with strange men for the night more than once.
At that time, he had entered adolescence, he knew very well what his mother was doing, and he was very angry and entangled in his heart, but he was unable to work but could not stop it.
After some ideological battle, he began to question his mother, "When will this life end, I just want to live with my mother!" ”
But Xiaoxi's mother was drunk at the time, and she had already given up on herself, so she said a very cold sentence: "Don't worry, child, your grandparents have a lot of money in their hands, and when they die, our life will be better." ”
It was this sentence that made Xiaoxi have a killing intent.
His long-term dependence on his mother made him believe in his mother's words.
In order to please his mother, he repeatedly stole money from his grandparents' home for her to use.
And Xiaoxi's mother did not use this money to give birth or live well, but continued to invest in the gambling table.
If the gamble is lost, let Xiaoxi continue to steal her grandparents' money and use it to continue to invest in the gambling table for herself.
When the number of thefts increases, it is inevitable that their grandparents will find out, and they severely criticize Xiaoxi, but in their hearts they hope that Xiaoxi can change their past mistakes.
But they didn't know that a few harsh words of criticism brought them the scourge of killing.
Xiao Xi, who had been twisted in his heart, rushed to the kitchen, drew a kitchen knife, and looked at his grandparents with indifferent eyes, and the two octogenarians were completely powerless.
After repeated chopping, my grandfather fell first in a pool of blood.
The grandmother was sad and puzzled, why did she and her husband treat the children with sincerity, and the children who were usually silent, would turn a knife at her?
With several screams, my grandmother also passed away with shock and puzzlement.
Xiaoxi was eventually imprisoned, but the loving mother in his eyes indifferently explained after knowing that the child had committed a crime, and he did not instigate the child to commit a crime!
And he never visited Xiaoxi in prison after that, allowing him to feel the pain in his heart in prison, and his heart fell into an abyss that could not be calmed.
brief summary
Although Xiaoxi's incident is a very rare extreme case, it is enough to show the horror of the Oedipus complex.
To avoid such a situation, it is necessary to increase communication with the father and reduce some communication with the mother at the age of 3-6, so as to help the child smooth the transition.
If this period is not in place, there are plenty of opportunities for children to know how to properly handle the feelings between parents.
The Oedipal complex can cause many troubles for the family, ranging from family conflicts to direct family breakdowns and even the vicious events mentioned above.
Such vicious events do not only occur in Japan, we also have many cases in China, you can search for them.
I don't know what you think about the Oedipus complex?
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Disclaimer: This article is published to provide readers with more information. The views of the article are for reference only, and the content involved does not constitute investment or consumption advice. If you have any doubts about the facts of the article, please check with the relevant party.