【Xiaolou Story】/Original Author/Promise
I am a mum of a 2 year old and am preparing for a divorce. To record my bad marriage is to tell my sisters that women must have an income, and no matter how crazy men talk before marriage, women must not give up their efforts.
Graphics and text are irrelevant
April 1 is April Fool's Day, which happens to be the birthday of her husband Xu Mingjie. I think thirty and standing, men 30 years old is an important day, should be celebrated well.
When I got up early in the morning, I rushed to the market to buy it myself. A few large bags of ingredients, as well as cakes to be carefully carried. I could hardly lift the weight, and moved home step by step, my fingers were strangled purple, and I couldn't straighten out for half a day.
I rubbed my tingling hand, quickly took care of my son to get up, and waited for Xu Mingjie and his son to have breakfast, so that he begged him to agree to take his son to the playground.
Help them clean up for half a day, and it's almost eleven o'clock when they go out.
I washed and fried, worked like a top for most of the day, and my waist hurt in the kitchen station, and prepared a big table for a hearty dinner.
I called Xu Mingjie's buddies, invited my in-laws over, the living room was redecorated with ribbon balloons, and the birthday cake was prepared with candles early.
Until the afternoon, Xu Mingjie called and said that on the way back, I was still pinching the fish fried in the pan.
Not long after, everyone came.
I busied myself with sautéing and serving the dishes out. His friends quipped that he had married a virtuous wife. My mother-in-law, who has always had a bad relationship with me, also rarely smiled, saying that this is like a woman in charge, and she must serve her own man well.
I finished the last dish and finally sat down, which made me feel a stomachache, and I wanted to come and be busy all day, and I didn't even take care of lunch.
Who knew that I had just picked up the chopsticks, Xu Mingjie, despite the fact that there were so many people present, directly pulled me into the room and said with disdain:
"Can't you just dress yourself up?" My friend is here, you don't want face, I want face. You change your clothes and come out again. ”
I was overjoyed but was poured with cold water.
Busy preparing meals, not to mention washing my face and makeup, at the end of the day, I didn't even eat a decent meal. Xu Mingjie not only did not appreciate my efforts, but also sneered at me.
I tried my best to suppress the disappointment and anger in my heart. Washed his face, put on makeup, cut his hair, and then picked out a floral dress from the closet that he bought before marriage, and went out to greet the guests.
But the scene in the living room disappointed me, and after a hard day's meal, I had not eaten a bite, and the table was already a mess.
Xu Mingjie and his friends drank heavily, and my in-laws ignored my presence, taking a little bit of soup and eating heavily.
I took a bowl, filled it with some soup, and sat down silently, swallowing a stomach full of heartache and grievances. Living with such a man really drained my patience and hope.
On April Fool's Day, I was a clown through and through, and I carefully prepared everything, but Xu Mingjie didn't even give me a smiley face, and they enjoyed it as if I didn't exist.
Xu Mingjie and I met each other on a blind date, when we were both at the age of talking about marriage.
And Xu Mingjie's pursuit of me is extremely enthusiastic, picking me up from work every day, helping me repair the facilities in the rental house, asking for warmth, and vowing to give me a lifetime of happiness.
Growing up, I had never been in love a few times, and I was completely chased by him, and we got married without talking for a few months. It is also that I myself do not understand things, did not do a good job of contraception, when my in-laws found out that I was pregnant, they urged us to get married quickly, saying that otherwise it would be a bad reputation.
After receiving the license, the mother-in-law said that I was pregnant with a child and was not suitable for celebratory wine, afraid that I would be too tired and the child would be miscarried.
I said that not many people are having weddings with big bellies now, and everyone is doing well. My mother-in-law suddenly stared at me angrily and said, Can I still harm my grandson?
I immediately shut up and didn't dare to speak.
The mother's family means that since the in-laws said so, then wait for the child to be born, and the full moon wine and the happy wine will be done together, and they also advised me that at this stage, it is still mainly to protect the fetus.
In this way, Xu Mingjie easily married me into the door without spending a penny.
Fortunately, the in-laws all live in the countryside.
They had already taken out a loan a few years ago to buy a house in the county town and make us a wedding house. Who knows, after getting married, I didn't get the bride price money, but I spent a lot of money to go out.
The first night I moved in, my mother-in-law took my hand and said to me in a serious tone, "Lanlan, since you are the daughter-in-law of my Xu family, this house will definitely have your share in the future." His dad and I are older and have no ability to make money, and you will have to pay off your mortgage in the future. ”
The mother-in-law's meaning is already obvious, in the future, the mortgage must be repaid by me, and they will not help a single cent. At that time, I was pregnant and had just quit my job, but I was full of hope for Xu Mingjie, and I didn't think there was anything wrong, so I agreed with my mouth.
Before getting married, I saved 80,000 yuan from part-time work, and after marriage, I took all of them to Xu Mingjie to do business. Xu Mingjie put his arms around me and said that he would try to make a lot of money, do business well, and give me and my future baby the best life.
I believed him without much hesitation and gave him all my savings to do business.
Xu Mingjie has not done business, he saw that our side of the grilled fish shop business is booming, he also learned to open a grilled fish shop, found two friends to partner, each invested a small hundred thousand.
All three of them were hand-tied treasurers, one bigger than the other, the cook, the waiter, and even the cashier had to hire someone. There is no boss to take care of the store, and they are all laymen, and they don't understand the operation at all. After opening a store for a few months, the door was full of sparrows, and it lost everything in most of the year.
This is good, not only did not make money, but also owed a bunch of foreign debt. Now don't talk about the banquet and the bride price, even our usual living expenses are a problem.
After that, Xu Mingjie did not work for a long time, and I became pregnant again. My in-laws and I talked a lot before I persuaded him to find a job as a security guard at a nearby factory.
Although it is a little stable, how can I see hope in the life that can be seen at a glance, and has not yet begun but has entered the old age and retirement?
The fetus in my belly is getting bigger, and divorce is impossible, and I can't give birth to a child and fly away on my own. After a little bit of birth, our lives are even more stretched. It is often by swiping credit cards and spending money to get by.
Xu Mingjie's salary of more than three thousand a month was just paid to repay the loan. I tried to cut back on food and clothing, and I had few living expenses left, and the pressure of the mortgage often overwhelmed me.
Xu Mingjie is the Ah Dou who can't be supported. I persuaded him to go out and find a job with a slightly higher salary, and he silenced me. He said, do you think I don't want to find a job with a monthly income of 10,000? But people are not spelling parents or highly educated, your husband wants nothing, does not want money, or wants a life.
He also said, or you go back to your mother's house to find a way to borrow more than 100,000 yuan to do business for me, the last failure, does not necessarily mean that this time also failed, I am optimistic about a project.
He spoke with great ambition, as if he could pick up a handful of banknotes at the slightest bend.
The more Xu Mingjie said, the more afraid I became.
In business, he really doesn't know anything, and he doesn't listen to people's advice, refuses to learn and refuses to contribute on his own, I know that he is doing business as a boss. I'm really afraid that he will lose our house, and when the time comes, our family of three will not even have a place to live.
Xu Mingjie saw that I strongly opposed him to doing business again, and he was not so concerned about the work of security guards, often arriving late and leaving early. Once, when he slept until more than eight o'clock in the morning and did not get up to work, the company's leaders called him on his mobile phone and ordered him to go to work again and was fired.
Even so, Xu Mingjie still did not change the mentality of hanging Er Lang Dang. At that time, I really wanted to strangle him.
During this period, the in-laws paid no attention to us. They had long been extremely disappointed in Xu Mingjie, the loser, and the father-in-law said that Xu Mingjie would thank God for not asking him for money.
I cheekily hugged a little bit to go to the countryside to complain to my in-laws, whispered to my mother-in-law to discuss, the family is really about to open the pot, you help me with the child, I go out to work.
My mother-in-law made an excuse that there was a lot of farm work to do in the family, how could the child be so young that she could leave her mother's care, and that my mother's family could also help.
Speaking of my mother's family, they originally thought that when I gave birth to a child, my in-laws would fulfill their original promises, and the scenery would marry me into the door, but who knew but pretended to be deaf and dumb. They were already very dissatisfied with their in-laws, and I was embarrassed to ask my mother's family for help.
Cornered, I went back to Xu Mingjie and got very angry, saying that he could not only marry his wife, but also could not afford to raise children, and our mother and wife followed him as a suffering fate.
Not only did he not think about repenting, but he yelled at me even louder, saying that it was because he married me that he could not turn over, and he was full of bad luck. Who used to be so poor that they had been going well since they had married their wives. I just don't have a Wangfu xiang, and I don't know anything except ask him for money all the time.
I was so angry with him that I ran away from home with my children and stayed in a small hotel for almost a week. After the mother-in-law learned the news, she was worried that her grandson would suffer hardships with me, so she issued an ultimatum order against Xu Mingjie, and if she did not take our mother and wife back, she took the house back.
Xu Mingjie didn't know whether it was for the sake of the house or his son, and took us back. He assured me in front of my in-laws that he would not be angry with me again in the future, and would work hard to give our mothers and wives a good life.
After the in-laws persuaded us, they left us a little money and left again. This little money is not enough to make us hungry on the streets.
Finally, Xu Mingjie quit his job as a security guard and found a job as a courier. Because there is a large industrial area where we live, Xu Mingjie's delivery orders are very large, often leaving early and returning late.
But there is always a return on the pay, and in the third month, Xu Mingjie's salary is tens of thousands. It made me happy, we had never received such a high salary.
I thought that Xu Mingjie had changed his past and was willing to fight for this family; willing to change his previous bad habits of not thinking of making progress for me; willing to provide a superior living environment for Diandian.
Therefore, I saved myself from eating frugally and held a birthday party for Xu Mingjie. He also invited his family and friends to witness his transformation. As for Xu Mingjie, in front of so many people, his indifference and dislike for me made me feel cold.
After his birthday, Xu Mingjie looked at me more and more unfavorably, took less and less money home, and spent more and more money on his own.
Xu Mingjie said that the work is so hard, he should treat himself well. He bought a brand-name mobile phone, and the new mobile phone of that brand has just been listed, even if it is an old mobile phone, the price is not cheap.
But he was stunned without blinking an eye, and gave himself a replacement for a latest mobile phone, which cost more than half of a month's salary, and he said that this was also for the convenience of work.
In fact, the mobile phone xu Mingjie used before was bought last year, and there was no problem. For him, it was just inconvenient to play games, the screen was not big enough, and friends around him had new mobile phones, which made him itch.
Before buying the phone, I tried to stop him. I said that the mobile phone is still very good, there is no need to change, let's first pay back the money owed to others, or keep the mortgage.
Xu Mingjie was immediately unhappy. He angrily rebuked me and said, "What have I worked so hard for all day?" It's not about living a good life, now it's just changing your phone, what's wrong? ”
I said, we don't have a rich family foundation, and the money now is all hard-earned money accumulated bit by bit. Are you taking it now and squandering it, have you considered a little bit of future tuition?
He shrugged dismissively: "I also pay the mortgage, and I am responsible for the tuition, what about you?" What do you do, you will eat? ”
Seeing Xu Mingjie's face full of contempt and ridicule, at that moment, I was ashamed beyond belief, and my self-esteem was ravaged by him.
In the past few years, I have been running housework, getting pregnant and having children, and I have not had any ease.
At the same time, I also have to admit that Xu Mingjie's irresponsibility is certainly hateful, but in the past few years, I have been counting on Xu Mingjie to live a life, not thinking of making progress, and standing still is even more terrible. It is my own dependence and lack of self-reliance that have caused Xu Mingjie to become more and more impatient and disrespectful to me today.
My opposition has no effect at all with Xu Mingjie. He ignored me and went to buy a new phone. Before long, he began to work badly again, taking leave of absence, and going to eat, drink and have fun with friends.
He was fired that month, ten thousand wages, and finally less than three thousand in my hands, after paying the mortgage, I did not even have the money to go to the supermarket to buy vegetables.
After this incident, I was painfully aware that Xu Mingjie was a man without a sense of responsibility, and with a little money, he wanted to enjoy himself in time, and did not take me and my son and our family seriously at all.
It is as difficult to rely on him to change the current situation of our family. Such a man, I was blind to see. Living with such a father is harmful and beneficial.
After a night of deliberation, I decided to leave the dots in the care of my in-laws for the time being, after all, I was my grandson and would always be kind. I'm going to work in my friend's city and pick up the dots when they're stable.
The night before I left, I drew up the divorce agreement and didn't take anything except the custody of the points. To tell the truth, we don't have anything to take in our family.
A month later, my father-in-law called me and told me that Xu Mingjie had made trouble after drinking and injured people, not only losing money, but also having to be locked up for a period of time. The father-in-law, who was so angry and seriously ill, said that he had to let Xu Mingjie remember this lesson, and clean up the sins he had done.
The in-laws said that the house is left for a little, can not be ruined by this loser, when I go back, I want to take away the little bit, do not want to bring, divorce will leave the grandson to them.
Some people always have to suffer a little to know how sweet life is. I hope that after Xu Mingxing's arrival, he can truly repent and no longer let his in-laws be frightened.
And I, too, have learned a lot from this unbearable marriage, that women, at any time, can not only rely on men to live.
Women who have no income and are not financially independent really have no say in marriage.
Now, I really don't know, divorce, whether I want to take my son or not. With my current income, it will be very hard to raise a son, but I am reluctant to leave my child.
Every time I think about it, I regret it, why didn't I think of this when I first got married, my son, what should I do?
END