Author: Jiang Jianjun
I have been writing blog posts on the Sina blog for more than ten years, inheriting the red gene
Geniuses are unique and irreproducible, and so is Gu Ailing! The growth and education model of genius is also not replicable, and there is no need to deliberately imitate it. All envy, envy and hatred should be in their own learning and perception to improve their own quality is the only right way, and the same is true of education. (Off topic)
In this life, no matter who it is, it is not objective to say that there is no vanity. Sometimes vanity is also a motivator for self-motivation. Being a person is not afraid that others will look down on him, but he is afraid that he will look down on himself or that this will lead to an inferiority complex.
I also had this kind of inferiority complex, not only had, but also had the idea of seeing Jiangdong's father and elder without face for a long period of struggle. In the unit, there was a self-deprecating stage of "breaking the hat to cover the busy city, showing the boat with wine and boating, hiding in the hut to become a whole, and calling it spring, summer and autumn and winter", during which only God knows and knows the discomfort of bitterness.
Fortunately, I can persevere, study well, practice ascetically, and be diligent in realizing the Tao, and do what I can and pursue the lifestyle I want along the way, even if it is a little harder, as long as it can make me happy and less inferior. The result is that "the hard-working people do not live up to the sky, lie down and taste the courage, and 3,000 Yue A can swallow Wu". I found the value and meaning of my life in middle and old age, and I also felt the fruits of hard work and perseverance. Once a person has the idea of being close to faith, he will never have an inferiority complex anymore, because he understands who he is living for!
To put it mildly, on the road of my life's struggle, there are both elements of contention and gambling. Fighting for glory for the party, the people, and my parents, and gambling with people who can't look down on me (including my military father), no one knows who can't do it, and there is no unified and fixed model and standard for "doing and not doing". But people live a breath, Buddha fights for incense, as a manly husband, he always has to fight for himself, right? "Tianxingjian, gentlemen should be self-reliant; The terrain is kun, and the gentleman carries things with great virtue!" "I wrote this article today to understand life and share it with you, because I am now in the year of flower armor, whether it can be done or not, and I have to decide by myself in the end!" If anyone can write an article that reflects my life like this, I can just look at him! Tianjin crosstalk actor Yang Yi has a famous joke: "Well, money is not money, happy and happy."
In the past, there were many people who looked at me and said that I couldn't do it, so let's expose some short, when I was young, I wore shoes regardless of left and right feet, and often wore shoes backwards. And in the first grade, I repeated the grade twice, and I went to the first grade twice. When working in the unit, he repeatedly competed for the position of deputy department leader, and actually worked in the position of chief staff member for 15 years, and his black hair turned gray.
But now, whether in life or on the Internet, there are many people who say that I can do it, and sometimes the almost flattering praise actually makes me blush and feel helpless. Especially the fans on the Internet (it is estimated that they are also talented, hidden dragons and crouching tigers) come to comment and praise every day, and I am a little embarrassed. There used to be a joke: if you say you can do it, you can do it or not. Say you can't do it, you can't do it, you can't do it. In fact, for people who come over at the age of sixty or seventy, I am still me if I can't do it, but the mouth is someone else's, love to say what to say, who knows who is beautiful in his heart, who is uncomfortable in his heart, who also counts. The point is that your own feelings are your own cause and effect, and others have nothing to do with each other.
A portrait of his father Jiang Yunqing
In the past, when I lived with my parents in Dali Road, I always felt that I was not an ordinary person when I came out and went in. Later, I moved to this place in Hedong, and lived with the people, and felt that the life of the people was also very beautiful, what do you want to do, and there are really ordinary people who hide dragons and crouching tigers among ordinary people, which makes you open your eyes and see for a long time. There are really high-ranking people in the city, and those who are pretentious and self-confident are often really naïve and ridiculous. When it arrives, I can't say who has a better life than whom. Sometimes I often whisper to pretentious people, "Who do you think you are?" My life is up to me!"
One evening, it was already dark, a mother led the child to reprimand the child while walking after school, I was cooking in the kitchen on the second floor, and I happened to hear the mother reprimand the child with a cruel word that was too vicious: "You find the reason yourself, why are you so stupid?" Except for the skull-opening in your class, count you stupid!" This mother is obviously angry, but it is indeed a little too "vicious". And my family is the opposite of her, when the mention of children, I am full of pride and say, "Our children are good, at least not gnaw the old". I immediately replied to her and said: "Stop, your standards are too low, let's spend more than 20 years of hard work to train a college student who does not gnaw the old, can we satisfy you like this, is it ridiculous?"
Of course, children need encouragement and praise, because he and they know that the source of motivation for their efforts comes first and foremost from the love and hope of their parents. But you can't pamper and let the children go, but also encourage them to work hard, point out their problems for them to overcome, of course, the way must be exquisite, not like the child's mother said that kind of vicious cruel words, too hurt the child's self-esteem.
My father used to be indifferent to my self-esteem, and often hurt my already small self-esteem. No matter who (including my wife and children) mercilessly counted all the shameful things he knew I had done since I was a child, and did not give me face at all, like when I was a child, I went to the vegetable market with my mother to buy small live chickens, and when I came home, I counted one more, only to find out that I stole it while others were not paying attention.
Similar to this kind of "bad things" that have been done for decades, the old man actually remembers clearly and "exposes your old bottom" when he sees people, which causes my self-esteem to be very inferior and uncomfortable for a long time. Later, at work, despite my hard work, I never got a promotion. Sometimes I really think that I am the material that does nothing. I joked with my friends: "Aren't smart people all changed from fools, who are born to be physicalized!" This opening, going straight forward, competing to let go of living yourself, the more you live, the more you find that you are not worse than those characters who have looked up, and even win a lot in some places, isn't it funny?
One breath in a thousand ways, out of the water to see two feet of mud. In fact, whether a person can do it or not, how should he see it and who should he compare with? I was in my 20s when I joined the army and made third-class meritorious service in the army, and I published an article in the military newspaper. Three years after changing careers, he obtained a college diploma from the college self-examination and often published tofu nuggets articles in newspapers. But despite my hard work, in the eyes of the old man, I was still too far behind my second brother, who was a general, and my eldest brother, who was the logistics minister of the Tianjin Garrison. Later, until my father's death, I worked as a chief clerk in the government office for 15 years, and even I was embarrassed to explain to my father what was going on.
After retiring, I went to the army in 2021 to give a party class and gave me 100 books "The Emotional Road of a Descendant of the Red Army".
I have now retired from my non-leadership position, and I am a writer who has published many books and twice won third prize in national essay competitions. And it has millions of followers in blogs and beauty articles. As a descendant of the old Red Army, after retirement, he participated in the work of the propaganda group of the Tianjin Yan'an Spiritual Research Association, and often went to colleges and universities and troops to give reports on inheriting red genes. Talked about family style on TV. In the 100th anniversary of the founding of the CPC the year before last, the "Four Histories Education" was carried out, and major media reported on my social activities of going to the troops, colleges and universities, neighborhoods, and other units to publicize the "Four History."
If the old man has a spirit in the sky, I think he should recognize me, right? You know, I started working at the age of 15 before I graduated from elementary school, and I was still a sick man. In fact, as long as you work hard in life, you won't all be geniuses or not all of them have to be successful people! Those parents who want to become a dragon include officials and citizens, all of whom want their children to become "other people's children" in the eyes of others, but the ideal is very full, and the reality is very skinny.
The more hopeful parents are for their children, the greater the disappointment, because every leaf of a tree in the forest is different and simply incomparable. Blind comparison will make the mentality of adults and children distort or even collapse, instead of suffering the crime of 'comparison', it is better to go with the flow, let the mind fly itself, and find its own piece of the world. Therefore, truly literate and quality parents will be tolerant and tolerant, accompany their children with subtle and silent love, and work together with their children to strive for growth.
For children: parents can't choose, but we can choose our own life path! In the face of difficulties and various unsatisfactory things, you can deal with them calmly without fear, do not bow to difficulties, learn struggle strategies, bravely and flexibly deal with problems and overcome difficulties, and truly become a hero who can control your own destiny. Whether a person is good or not depends mainly on whether he or she is particularly able to endure hardships, persistence, tolerance and patience. A person can have these three points, it is difficult to think of not being excellent!
I have always insisted that parents who can bring childhood happiness to their children are considered "qualified" parents, so that children raised by parents will grow up with a brighter, healthier heart and more active participation in the world than children who did not have a sense of happiness in childhood. I said to a pair of young parents today: "If you take your children out to play, see your children happy and laughing, you will definitely leave your children with beautiful childhood memories and make them happy for a lifetime." Naturally, the young parents did not quite understand the meaning of my words, and perhaps they would think: Didn't this old man have such a happy childhood? I laughed in my heart: if I had your children like this, even if only once or twice, I would find happiness in the memories! I don't think about this more than once! But now that I am old, I seem to have found myself a little bit of happiness similar to the children in front of me now, and finally amused myself as an old urchin!
Since I was a child, I lacked so much love that for a long time, I was suppressed by my inferiority mentality, thinking that I was born to bury my life, and I couldn't fight for my life. Therefore, to endure humiliation and bear the burden is a child's skill for me. I can't help but say that this is one of the great regrets in my life. Perhaps this imperfect life is normal and in line with the objective laws of reality.
About author:Jiang Jianjun, born in 1955, member of the Communist Party of China, retired from the Tianjin Civil Affairs Bureau, currently a member of the Tianjin Writers Association, deputy head of the propaganda group of the Tianjin Yan'an Spiritual Research Association, author of "The Emotional Road of a Red Army Descendant", co-author of "The Military Camp at That Time, I Was Then", "Unforgettable Years - My 589th Regiment" and other works. Columnist.