Yesterday, one of my public account fans contacted me through WeChat, she is a 38-year-old single mother with a 14-year-old son, she wants to talk to me about her troubles in choosing a mate. Why did you think of saying this to me? Because my public account a few days ago posted an article "Every middle-aged person who has been abused by life is a philosopher: 100 ordinary people's sincere testimonials on how to be happy in life" (click to read), she said that the wisdom reminders about happy life in this article made her particularly useful, she just saw this article when she wanted to contact me, but at that time she was catching a plane and did not care.
She graduated from a prestigious school, married very early, and when her son was born less than one year old, she divorced his father, and she was only twenty-four or five years old when she divorced. After the divorce, she has nothing, the children have to be raised, the parents have to be raised, and the pressure of life makes her realize that a person can only talk about development if she survives, and she has not lived well, and she has talked about other things, all in vain, and it is impossible to start a new relationship under the embarrassing reality. So in the more than ten years after the divorce, she had no distractions and was only busy with her career.
Now she can say that she has little achievements, has her own company, has a lot of income, is also very good at investment, and in terms of finances, she can be said to be free. But when I stopped to look, I found that my life of more than ten years was a little pale. In the best of youth, she has always thought that making more money and raising children is her only mission, but now that the children are getting older and the money is not lacking, she suddenly looks back, but finds that her youth has passed away, and her personal feelings are blank.
With the increase of age, she can not stand the blankness of love and the loneliness of life more and more, she does not want to end up alone, she wants to find a suitable person to accompany, it is best to get married as soon as possible, and to grasp the tail of youth to have another child. For this goal, she has also acted very actively, helplessly engaged in the education industry, most of the circles are women, and most of the suitors encountered through other channels are relatively young, although the suitors under thirty or even twenty-four or five years old have also encountered a few, but as an older single mother, one is not sure what the too young suitors really like her, and the other is not confident that they can pass the level of these young boys' parents.
She contacted me, not simply to confide in me, she wanted me to write an article based on her, to write about the dilemma of the older single women who focused on their careers in the most beautiful years and missed the marriage season, to give some reference to the latecomers, and also to get married for themselves. It can be seen that in order to get rid of the single, she really fights, worthy of being an excellent professional woman, results-oriented, and actively trying to solve problems.
I thought it was over after talking to her, but the woman's honest words and positive struggles for marriage made it hard for me to forget, and a few hours later I remembered her again when I closed my eyes and washed my hair at the barbershop, so I decided to write this article.
A person's life will naturally be divided into different time periods, such as when you are young, it is mainly safe to grow, when you are a teenager, you are mainly studying, when you go to college, you are mainly preparing for skills and comprehensive quality for entering the society, after graduating from college to about 30 years old, there are more tasks, to determine the occupation, to get the family and even the secular house car, etc., between the ages of 30 and 60 is to fight for the selected occupation and the family that is formed, and then to worry about living a healthy and long-term life. These time periods can be seen as the "seasons" of life.
For most people, the safest way to live is to follow the routine of the people, that is, to achieve the goals of life at this stage of life and complete the tasks that should be completed according to the above.
People who don't plan to be single for a lifetime, who want to start a family, don't make an effort to find love between the ages of 20 and 30, just like teenagers don't study well between the ages of 6 and 18, miss this time period, and want to make up for it, often need to pay more effort, or even a greater price. Many people who are bohemian and do not study well in their adolescence, when they reach the age of thirty or forty, after suffering from the pain of no culture, they regret it, and some people even put down everything at hand at this age to study wholeheartedly in order to make up for the shortcomings in life that fell in their youth.
Love, on the other hand, is more seasonal. Learning we can advocate lifelong learning, but love can basically only happen during that short period of universally recognized courtship, which is only about 10 years, and once this best courtship period is missed, after most people of the same age have become married and left, the rest of them have little choice.
This is a simple truth, but many people ignore this, in this 10-year courtship period, many people are too focused on their careers, too focused on making money, always think that their conditions are not good enough, they must first work hard to make money, so that they have the ideal wealth, and then stand on top of this wealth, enough to reach the ideal partner. If the wealth does not meet your expectations, the love you encounter will certainly not satisfy you.
Such a person, too axis.
There are often some literature or film and television clips depicting this situation, a man fell in love with a goddess, but he was a poor boy, did not have the courage to confess, so he buried this love deep in his heart, and from then on he worked hard and struggled, endured for ten years, and finally achieved something. When he knocked on the goddess's door with delight, a small head popped out of the door and asked him who he was.
In life, a particular person will rarely wait for another specific person for a long time, not to mention those who are not specific, there will not be such a person in your peers, and they will always wait for you. If the object of marriage is limited to peers, then as the courtship season of people of this age ends, there must be fewer and fewer choices, and resources will even dry up. Someone put this phenomenon very vividly: "Men are like canteen dishes, although it is difficult to eat, but it is gone when it is late." ”
Life is complex and complex, and simple is simple. In the case of eating and wearing without worry, in fact, the comfort of the small day is very important. At present, the post-70s, post-80s, post-90s are actually people who sit on the elevator of the times, with the overall development of the national economy, even if we are an ordinary person, life is not far behind, the high probability is that others have their own, but the grade is worse than others, but this gap does not have much impact on life itself. So, how much happiness will people who put down the task of getting married and having children and only want to make money first earn more happiness than others in the process?
Don't chase things outside of life too much and neglect life itself, the essence of life may be as people say, simple is the truth. In the period of multi-goal and multi-tasking at the age of twenty or thirty, do not let go of other goals and only chase career and money, youth is gone, we must get the things that must be relied on in the future life in the youth, and take down those things that are only related to the season of life and are difficult to buy with money. Well, make money slowly; career, that's it, don't get too intoxicated.
I wrote this to add to this woman's blockage, right? But listening to her meaning, it seems that I want to take her as a model to remind those girls who have not yet woken up, she should not be unable to accept.
This screenshot was not ready to be released, even if she was lucky to find true love through this platform, it can only be attributed to fate, and I have little to do with it, and I will not ask for any rewards. The reason why I put this screenshot here is to illustrate two points: first, she is very sincere; second, she is very economically powerful.
The people who face their problems are lovely, this girl is so honest and so positive, I think there will be good luck, I wish her good luck!
I was only authorized to publish her marriage announcement on the public account "Growing up in composition", and I will not publish it here. This article is just about this situation, as she said, to give some people a little reminder and reference.
Recommend the main writer of this number, Mr. Yang Sheng, to record the composition training course for middle school students himself, and search the whole network for "learning college entrance examination essays with ancient and modern famous articles" to listen to the free college entrance examination composition training courses.
This official account article is recommended
1. The urban and rural style of a small northwest five-tier city
2. Parents and children are also a shallow fate
3. Cities make life better, but what about rural areas?
4. Getting married is more about finding a partner to fight against the difficulties of life
5. Leftover men and women: Is it too bad luck or too stupid on the way to find love?
6. The last car home and the one who loves you deeply
7. Rural children, do you know how hard urban children study now?
8. Every middle-aged man who has been abused by life is a philosopher: 100 people talk about a happy life
9. Ordinary life can be so moving, why is this Korean drama so touching?
10. The history of China and the reality of the world warn us that "foreigners should live forever" or should be cautious