Text: Yiping
preface
In the past two days, Ms. Xiang from Shiyan, Hubei Province, has rushed to the hot search because of a video.
In the video, Ms. Xiang shared her own life experience that is difficult to speak, especially her emotional experience.
This woman is 37 years old this year, had a marriage, and had two daughters with her ex-husband, unfortunately the two were not able to grow old together, and broke up in May 2021.
At present, Ms. Xiang herself is a doctoral student, and it will take more than a year to graduate, and her two daughters have been following her.
However, it was in these two years that Ms. Xiang met a 24-year-old young man in the process of learning guitar, and through long-term contact, the relationship between the two became more and more intimate, and finally fell in love.
A sibling relationship with a difference of 13 years began.
Talk about sibling love
At present, there are indeed more and more sibling loves around us.
This phenomenon, which was originally rare but increasingly common, has a deep human nature and social reality behind it.
There have been several similar situations around me, and their combination or love life is not bad.
Because sibling love will be resisted at the beginning, especially like Ms. Xiang, the woman's age is much older than the man's.
In this context, being able to come together in the end shows that both sides have figured out things in the world.
Generally speaking, sibling love can finally come together in the following situations.
The first is that the feelings of the two parties are indeed deep, and their union is first a high degree of spiritual fit, and then consider the worldly things such as marriage and family.
We can fully predict that such a sibling love will eventually be long-lasting.
For example, my own nephew, when he was in graduate school, he fell in love with a doctoral sister in school, and their major was biological genetics, which was relatively cutting-edge and advanced, so it was difficult to find opposite-sex partners with a common language in real life, and it was completely understandable that they could come together in the end.
At first, my sister-in-law was always against it, because her son has always been the greatest pride of her and her brother in their lives, and many relatives and friends around her have also introduced a lot of objects, but in the end, I still can't stop my son from liking the senior sister who is 4 years older.
Last Spring Festival, when the control was at its strictest, two young people went to the Civil Affairs Bureau to get a license and got married.
After marriage, they went to England together to continue their studies.
I hope this is also the case for Ms. Xiang and her little boyfriend in Shiyan, Hubei Province.
However, life experience tells themselves that their union is definitely not so simple, because there are two more common situations of sibling love in real life.
The second is that the young man is not very willing to fight after entering society and lies down directly.
At this time, if there is a better eldest sister or aunt who can tolerate their laziness and are willing to support their own enjoyment, they are completely acceptable.
Generally speaking, such a sibling love age difference is relatively large, in their teens and twenties.
Anyway, the woman's conditions are better, she doesn't care much, and the man doesn't have any pursuits, and the two of them are confused for a day.
This kind of combination with each has something to do with the love of men and women, it is a naked exchange of interests, and everyone knows it.
The third situation is that the woman is reluctant to get out of the last relationship, and the combination of her and the little boy is more of a demonstration for her ex-husband, competing with each other.
Didn't you find a young girl?
The old lady will find you a young man to see.
The best situation of sibling love is of course the first, because that kind of union is actually no different from normal love, and the parties do not take age seriously at all, they just like each other, it's as simple as that.
The second is the second, after all, the woman's conditions are better, or her own ability is relatively strong, or she shares a lot of money when she divorces her ex-husband, no matter which one, she has wayward conditions, and she is naturally more tolerant of her little boyfriend.
There are too many similar sibling loves in the entertainment industry.
Relatively speaking, the third case results are the hardest.
The woman has been accommodating her little boyfriend from the beginning, and she will be very humble in her relationship, aggrieved herself everywhere, and even become the other party's life nanny.
And because their own conditions are not very good, the children on both sides of the marriage plus the little boyfriend, the burden of life has increased dramatically.
In the end, it can only end up in chicken feathers.
Don't let this kind of sibling love be.
To the future of the lady
The previous brief analysis of the most important sibling love in the current society, then many netizens will definitely ask Ms. Xiang which one belongs to when they see this.
After all, she doesn't share a lot of content in the video, and I'm not familiar with her, so I can't give an accurate judgment.
But according to the opinions of netizens in the comment area, as well as my own life experience, I am still not very optimistic about this relationship.
There are five reasons for this.
First of all, this little boy himself is a person who has just entered the society, has no life experience at all, and is still in a stage of ignorance of the relationship between men and women, or in the words of one of the above netizens, it is to use the love brain to see the problem.
It is not that this situation is bad, but that men at this stage are far from mature and their minds are changing.
Can he still play for three or five years, to the lady and so on?
Secondly, the boy's conditions are not very good, he is a guitar teacher, he does not earn too much money, two people have to raise at least three children after marriage, and they have to rely on their parents-in-law to help, which increases the possibility of many contradictions and conflicts.
Third, the age difference between the two people is too big, the man's parents are strongly opposed from the beginning, not very willing to accept this relationship, Xiang is too humble in this relationship, and there will be two children of the ex-husband's brother to integrate into the family in the future, and it is a headache to think about.
Fourth, the opinions of the people who come over are also important.
A netizen from Shaanxi shared his own relationship experience, which I feel is very valuable for Ms. Xiang.
Because there are many similarities in their sisters' feelings.
First, the age difference is relatively large, and second, the woman's education is relatively high.
In this case, women will unconsciously regard themselves as a sister and mother after marriage, which is very detrimental to the long-term operation of marriage.
This netizen from Shaanxi was married for the first time, and in the end did not escape the result of divorce, let alone Ms. Xiang of Shiyan.
The fifth reason is the key.
From the perspective of human nature, happy little days are ordinary and low-key, and generally speaking, high-profile feelings will eventually go wrong.
The rationale behind this is simple.
The more you can't get something, it will be posted, or shown to the people around you, or put pressure on the other party, or move yourself, that's all.
At the same time, Ms. Xiang thinks of human nature too simply, if the future father-in-law is willing to accept the feelings of the two of them one step away, they must also want to deal with it in a low-key manner, after all, such a combination is really not a good thing for the man, and now the whole world and people around know that it will only put too much pressure on the boyfriend and his parents, and they will retreat or reconsider this matter.
Even if combined in the future, where do you put the faces of the old couple.
They originally wanted to deceive the people around them with good intentions, saying that it was impossible to be three or five years old.
epilogue
Feelings are a complicated thing.
Just as there are no two leaves that are exactly the same in this world, there will not be exactly the same two relationships.
What the final result to the lady and boyfriend is, after all, it depends on the two of them and two families to jointly run and face together.
In two days is the Spring Festival, although I myself am not optimistic about this relationship, but I still want to send them my sincerest wishes.
Hopefully, Ms. Xiang and her two daughters will eventually find a solid place to lean on.
I also wish her to manage her life and feelings well.