Author: |Oops, mom
Source: Boy Pie (ID: boy666dj)
Early in the morning, next to a stove stall in Qingdao's Boli Daji, an 11-year-old boy was rolling dough in the cold.
He wears a mask, wears an apron, and looks at the rolling method alone, just like the "teacher".
The dough is flattened with small hands, and in 5 seconds, 7 dough cakes are rolled out, all of which are perfectly balanced.
The little sister next to him, only 6 years old, also helped out in the stall just like him.
In the lively market, full of adult figures, this pair of little brothers and sisters has become the most "special" scenery.
After all, it is winter vacation, and other children are sleeping and playing at home.
And they, every holiday, will take the initiative to help their parents.
The stalls are sold at 3 or 4 a.m. in the summer and 4 or 5 a.m. in the winter, and when they are busy, they can't go home until dark.
This kind of life has been going on for the little boy for 4 years, but he has never missed his studies.
He took 3 A's in the final exam, usually got good grades, rarely looked at his mobile phone, read books more attentively, read one a day.
Famous books like "Journey to the West" can be read by him in 10 days.
Speaking of his future dreams, his eyes sparkled, "When you grow up to be a soldier, then study medicine, it is better to be a military doctor."
Asked if he "envies classmates who have fun", he confessed that he "does not envy much", because everyone's fate is different, and now he is "the fate of labor".
Asked why he didn't sleep at home, he said he "didn't sleep well" and kept thinking about his hard-working parents.
Asked him again, "If others are on vacation, if you want to come to work, will you feel unbalanced", he shook his head and said:
"No, helping your parents is more important than playing."
What a sensible child!
At a young age, he knew how to be considerate of his parents and was willing to sacrifice his rest time to leave the comfort of his home and come to the cold market to help.
Not all children can do this.
A parent who also sells breakfast in the comment section said:
"My sons are 12 years old and it feels like they never knew how hard we worked.
Think that we didn't do a good job, didn't call him for help, and let him sleep and play during the holidays. Now I see that he never takes the initiative to help, and I am very worried about the future! ”
That's the problem.
Whenever the child is free for the holiday, 90% of parents will feel sorry for the child, let the child not do anything, eat well, sleep well, enjoy the holiday, and the child also feels taken for granted.
So often we can see this picture:
The child was holding Erlang's legs and playing games "without leaving the hand", but the parents next to him were so busy that they couldn't even drink saliva, and they never got a response to calling for their children's help.
It is said that any performance of a child is basically the level of the parents.
When the child does not know how to take the initiative to share, learning to be considerate of the parents, perhaps from the first day of his holiday, you have done wrong.
When I went to my cousin's house a few days ago, it was already past 12 noon, and my little nephew hadn't gotten up yet.
It turned out that my cousin was distressed that her son was usually tired from school, and thought that it was hard to take a holiday, so she let her son sleep enough.
My cousin thought so much about her son, not once or twice.
For a long time, she never asked her son to do anything, but did everything she could to help her son.
She matched her son's clothes in advance, and the stationery and books for school were also packed and put into her bag the night before, and even the soup that her son sprinkled on the ground for eating was wiped clean by squatting down a little bit...
Once I heard my little nephew shouting at her, "They all say I don't want to eat apples, why didn't you hear it, I'm bored to death", and I couldn't help but feel a pang in my heart.
Is this the attitude of speaking to your own mother?
But the cousin was not angry, but kept apologizing, "I'm sorry, mom, I'll change", and her posture was like a "servant".
The little nephew has a high-spirited face, no different from the "little emperor".
Occasionally, I hear my cousin complaining, saying that my son is quite unconscionable, sometimes he is sick to cook for him, and he is disgusted that it is not delicious, and blames her for being sick and not picking a day.
If you don't put all your heart and soul into doing nothing, you can raise good children with filial piety.
The more parents take care of everything, the more the child will become cold and ungrateful.
A teacher friend who has been a class teacher for more than 20 years once pointed out sharply:
"Now I ask my children to write about what they do at home for their parents, and there are too few things they can write.
All of them are spoiled as little emperors and little princesses, how else do they have the experience of doing housework and helping with work?
Let them talk about what they are most grateful to their parents, almost impossible to say.
They have long been accustomed to stretching their hands in clothes and opening their mouths for food, and even think that teachers and classmates should accommodate themselves like their parents. ”
If you don't know how to be grateful, you only have your own children in your heart, which is nothing more than being "accustomed" by their parents.
Always regard the child as the focus of life, and treat him like a prince and princess.
Over time, he felt that he was privileged, superior to his parents, and would not take into account his parents' needs and feelings at all.
Slowly, he will not feel sorry for his parents and be filial to his parents.
The child's performance at home, the attitude towards his parents, when he was young, he could not see anything, and when he grew up, it was all a disadvantage.
"Three years old looks big, seven years old looks old".
Children who do not do things at home all day and have never been called will only bring greater suffering and despair to their parents in the future.
Remember Hubei Xueba Li Mingming?
Once he was a popular figure in the village, with excellent grades and talent, 985 undergraduates, and a doctorate all the way.
However, Han Window studied hard for more than 20 years, and finally relied on his parents' old age at home, and almost turned against his father.
He made excuses every day not to go out to find a job, and his father would hurt people when he said a few more words, and the police intervened twice alone.
In my heart, I only thought about the book on the bedside, and I didn't care about my father's life or death.
When his father was injured outside and was carried home, he didn't look at him or help him.
Looking back, my father regretted it immensely.
At first, the whole family hoped that Li Liangliang would have a good time in studying, so they offered him as a treasure, and pooled money from between his teeth to let him concentrate on studying.
He didn't have to do the housework, and he didn't call him for help in the farm work.
Even for him, the whole family decided to let his sister drop out of school early to earn money to subsidize the family, so that he had no worries.
But the result?
Li Liangliang not only did not appreciate the dedication and sacrifice of his parents and sister to him, but also rightfully owed his sister money, and ate ready-made food.
Parents worked in the fields sweating under the scorching sun, and before dawn they took the output from the field to drink, and every day he carefully prepared food for him, which he could not see at all.
Educator Hong Lan said: "Overfeeding love deprives children of the ability to care for others. ”
When parents snatch the broom in the child's hand again and again, the bowl after eating, and the change of clothes, it invisibly deprives the child of the opportunity to think differently and care for others, so that he is accustomed to enjoying and taking.
Without suffering from life and experiencing the fatigue of labor, the child will not think differently, let alone appreciate what others have done for him.
The more careful you are to think about your child, the more your child learns not to bear and grow.
A child who can't fit his parents in his heart, never expect him to know that he will repay you with filial piety.
Regarding the holiday arrangement for children, Professor Li Meijin has always advocated:
Be sure to arrange housework for your children instead of going to cram school.
"If your children never take on the affairs of the family and have no sense of responsibility to the family, can you expect your children to be filial to you and how much responsibility they have to society when they are old?"
So, don't be reluctant to use children.
Only by letting go and letting the child work more will the child know that his parents are tired and should take the initiative to take shoes and pour water; Parents take care of themselves, and they themselves have to take care of their parents in turn.
No matter how small the housework, it can cultivate children's responsibility, responsibility, self-confidence and gratitude little by little.
Zhang Yueying, a second-year girl in Shenyang, served as the "little cook" at home as soon as the winter vacation arrived.
In addition to studying, he is responsible for making some simple meals for his family every day and learning to make some small snacks.
For her, who had not cooked much before, it was also busy to do housework at first, but after practicing a few more times, she quickly became more organized.
Clean up the kitchen, wipe down the table, clean the floor...
Every time she gets busy, she can deeply appreciate her mother's usual hard work and cherish her mother's dedication.
Being able to contribute to her family, Zhang Yueying is full of a sense of accomplishment.
Father Zhang also said that children learn to share household chores, feel that they are part of the family, and naturally know how to love the family and love their parents.
The "winter vacation experience" of Feng Yanchen, a fifth-grade student in Shanghai, is equally memorable.
Usually watching my father make buns, it feels very easy.
But after going to my father's shop during the holidays to experience it, I realized that rolling noodles is difficult.
Every process and strength are exquisite, a little careless, the dough is not rolled well, the buns cannot be made.
In fact, children are not naturally indifferent and unfilial to their parents, but in the process of forming his three views, he lacks the participation of labor and cannot feel the depth of love behind his parents' efforts.
As the sociologist Lan Peijia said, "Housework is a kind of 'labor of love'." ”
Only when the child's hands are personally involved in family affairs and have experienced the difficulties of parents' work can they empathize and understand the love of their parents.
And his respect and filial piety for his parents in his heart will naturally be awakened, and he can also learn to bravely take up the burden and become the support of his parents.
Now I am willing to let my children suffer some hardships in life and suffer some fatigue from labor, so that I can enjoy the sweetness of my children's care for my parents in the future.
Finally, share a little boy who touched nearly 500,000 people.
At a fish killing stall at a vegetable market in Zhongshan, the 9-year-old skillfully catches fish, scrapes scales and fillets.
The fish he caught weighed at least seven or eight pounds, but his every movement was crisp and neat.
Because I felt sorry for my parents' hard work, as soon as I was on vacation, I put down my schoolbag and came here to help.
No hesitation, no embarrassment, no complaining.
From his face, he shows the pride of sharing family chores for his parents, and his confidence beyond his peers.
In fact, the best love for a child is not to feel sorry for him and let him live a relaxed and happy little life all the time.
It is on his way to adulthood that he learns to love everyone around him.
Only when he knows gratitude and filial piety can his parents' love be rewarded and he can enjoy the beauty of raising children.
Filial piety is never spoiled.
The child's love must be hidden in the education and guidance of parents' wisdom.
This article comes from boy pie (ID: boy666dj), about raising boys, dry goods, here; About the bittersweet of raising boys, it is all understood here; There are little boys at home, welcome to pay attention to boy pie.