Now young parents are busy with work and careers outside, and the task of watching children falls on the elderly, especially the second-child family, without the support of the elderly, it is difficult for young people.
According to a study by the China Center for the Ageing, the proportion of elderly people in mainland China helping their children to take care of their children is as high as 66.47%.
The elderly have become the main force with children, in fact, you don't need to look at the survey, look at the surrounding families also know that most children are brought up by the elderly, and the feelings of the old people and children get along very well.
The old man brings the baby to the young people to reduce the burden, and the young people are also grateful, but after the age of 3, the child goes to kindergarten, the old man should retreat in time, and it is better for the young people to become the main force with the baby.
The old man should retreat in time after the child is 3 years old, otherwise it will cause many family conflicts:
1. Children are not close to their parents
The child is closer to whomever he brings more, always the elderly bring the baby, rarely interact with the parents, the parent-child relationship is not close, and the child cannot establish a deeper attachment relationship with the parents.
Children are more likely to listen to and accept the words of the elderly, while they have a rebellious psychology and do not accept the words of their parents, and it is more difficult for parents to educate their children, and more emotions and words are needed to comfort their children.
2. Affect the development of children's personality
The phenomenon of "intergenerational pets" is very common, for the child's willful temper, see through and do not say broken, let the child's character play freely, the child can not hear the words of criticism, there is no fear, more and more small problems.
The old man is older, does not have so much energy and physical strength to take care of the child, and turns a blind eye to the child's behavior. Educating children to develop good character and good behavior requires great patience, timely correction, and a hard heart, not too conniving.
3. Family education conflicts arise
There are differences in children's education issues and academic attitudes, young people educate children, old people like to protect and not let say, children will exploit loopholes, and the result is that no one listens to anyone.
The elderly are at home, and the children love to entertain and play with the elderly, and they are not attentive to the learning of using their brains, and they need more reminders and supervision from their parents, which is a little tiring.
4. The elderly are thankless to contribute
The old man is originally old, it is time to enjoy the old age, every day go out to square dance, singing, exercise and exercise is very comfortable, young people can not take care of the time to come to help, sharing is also very good.
Long-term care of children, easy to cause the elderly psychological anxiety problems, if the child's learning or other aspects do not meet the expectations of parents, but also complain, thankless.
5. It is easy to cause family conflicts
In the family relationship, the husband and wife relationship always occupies the first place, living with the elderly, will make the family relationship complex and changeable, if you want to get along, you need more running-in, tolerance and understanding between both parties.
Sometimes an unintentional sentence, the speaker has no intention, the listener is intentional, the so-called people are many, it is likely to cause verbal disputes and family conflicts.
The ideal state of three generations living together is a warm and harmonious big family, respecting the old and loving the young, mastering the sense of proportion and not crossing the line, the elderly and children have their own independent space, get along well.
If the elderly can only live with young people for some reason, young people should not throw all the responsibility of taking care of children to the elderly, but should invest more time and energy in educating children, be the first responsible person for children, and give children a good family atmosphere and educational environment.
Welcome to follow @Carrot Mother Parenting Talk Assistant social worker, elderly second-child mother, focusing on sharing scientific parenting knowledge.