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01
"The Knowledge of Happiness": "There are different types of evil and poison in life, such as hatred, jealousy, stubbornness, greed and many other unfavorable conditions, many obstacles, the source of troubles, but without these negative factors, can people become stronger?" No! It is precisely because of these evils and poisons that people can gain the opportunity and strength to overcome themselves and live strongly in the world. ”
This kind of knowledge needs to be well known to everyone, and being able to understand the truth will be beneficial to our growth. What needs to be reminded is that as individuals, we cannot only "outwardly" to understand evil and poison, but also understand "inward" to reflect on the evil and poison of our own existence, only by correctly treating the evil and poison that exist together inside and outside, we will have better growth.
For a simple example, when we are unhappy because of certain people or things, according to the habit of thinking, we will complain about others, thinking that others are causing us to be unhappy, and it is something that makes us unhappy. This is "outward" cognition, and if we only understand this level, we will be surrounded by bad emotions. If you don't want to do this, you should reflect "inwardly", because it is you who are angry and hurtful, and you will only have a good mood if you overcome and get rid of bad emotions.
Emotional things are the most likely to cause problems in this regard, the following woman's encounter is a very typical case, let's take a look at it, I hope it will inspire you:
"I loved a man for five years, but finally lost to my snobbish mother-in-law, which is really sad for myself." 」 I have always thought that I am not bad, not bad looks, not bad ability, more than enough to marry him, he himself has repeatedly agreed with this fact, but in the end he still did not escape being picked by his mother-in-law.
I have to say that some people think that they are great, always staring at the shortcomings of others, even if others have no shortcomings, they will use harsh standards to fabricate some shortcomings. What I don't understand is, what good does it do them? Combating negativity makes others happy isn't it?
The first time I went to his house to meet his parents, I was fully prepared, no matter how I said I was a guest, but his mother did not pay any attention to etiquette and first impression, opened her mouth and provoked, saying that I was short, saying that I had a dull personality, saying that I was not alive in my eyes, and almost saying that I was not worthy of her son.
Even if I am very strong and confident inside, I can't always stand others denying me, I can't help but regurgitate, I also need to have a venting gap. Also, from a marriage perspective, if I had shown weakness from the beginning, my life would certainly not have been better in the future.
I thought that after making a fuss and dispersing, I would be comforted and enlightened by my boyfriend, but he was indifferent, and when I expressed my dissatisfaction, he only knew silence, only knew to sigh, which really disappointed me, feeling that he was not responsible, did not know how to protect his wife, and made me very insecure. He has not expressed his position, and I can only choose to give up, I don't want to find myself unhappy.
At first I just gave up on feelings, on the person I shouldn't love. Later, when I found that I still didn't feel good after giving up, I realized that I should still give up my past self, and I should draw a clear line with my past self, so that I can really let go of the past, so that I won't feel unhappy when I think of those broken things in the past."
02
In "The Other Side of Good and Evil", Nietzsche once explained to the woman's mother-in-law in front of him: "When observing others, if you only stare at the inferiority of others, it means that your state is not very good, and you hope to avoid the fact that you are stupid and do not work hard by discovering the shortcomings of others, and deceive yourself into thinking that you are superior." ”
Even if you haven't heard Nietzsche's words, you will have the same feelings that Nietzsche said when you meet someone like the woman's mother-in-law. The reason is very simple, if a person only has the shortcomings of others in his eyes, it shows that this person's heart is dark and narrow, and from this psychological state alone, it is enough to show that this kind of person is not good.
From the perspective of marriage, whether a woman meets such a man or meets such a mother-in-law, she should really consider whether to let the feelings continue, because continuing means that you will have to be with narrow-minded people for a long time in the future, unless you are strong enough to cover all problems, otherwise it will not be good for you, and it may even be assimilated.
The "evil and poison" mentioned above can make people stronger, that is, it is based on overcoming, whether it is left or not, only when it is overcome, asking yourself not to carry "evil and poison" with you, can you develop in a better direction.
03
Some people have done such a survey, that most women will be unsatisfactory in life due to external factors, such as poor family situation, not beautiful looks, pregnant talent, not married to the right person, etc., only a few people will think that the problem is in themselves, think that they are not brave enough, think that their ability is not strong enough.
The reason why there is such a difference is because different people have different understandings of themselves. Those who are accustomed to attributing dissatisfaction to external reasons usually only stay at a very shallow level, such as what clothes to wear, what hairstyle to keep, what to wear proper makeup, etc., but rarely evaluate their personality, concepts, principles, potential, etc.
Different cognitions of themselves will lead to different behaviors, if the understanding of themselves is very shallow, the transformation of themselves will be superficial; and if the understanding of themselves is very deep, the transformation of themselves will be correspondingly deep. Of course, these two are not either one or the other, and if you want to grow soundly, you need to take care of both inside and outside.
Some people say that a temperamental woman will definitely show an unwavering look, full of understanding and trust in herself, and never be indecisive in doing things. This is the change made after understanding yourself in depth, we can't just envy such a person, we can't just fantasize about becoming such a person, we should analyze how to become such a person, follow this line of thinking to find a way, you can live better.
Including the "evil and poison will make people stronger" that we mentioned earlier, it is also the result of a deep understanding of oneself. After deeply realizing that the evil and poison you encounter are not good for you, so as to overcome and change accordingly, those things will not knock you down, but you will step on them to become stronger.