Da lin and barley, in their 40s, have been married for more than 20 years, and in an argument, Da Lin actually beat her up. She was confused, how could someone who had been so good to her do it? We've already done it, what will happen in the future? Barley was furious and sad and visited.
Both Dalin and Barley were born in the countryside and Chinese degrees, but they have gained a firm foothold in the city, with homes and cars, and travel around the world. Men are responsible for making money to support their families, and women are responsible for being beautiful and envious of others.
At that time, The Obayashi family was poor and had nothing. Barley is still good- and grumpy, parental relations are not harmonious, often war-torn, this war will also affect innocent children, Barley has long wanted to stay at home. Man visual animal, Da lin chased barley, very good for barley, was moved, barley could not be separated from a man who was so good to her.
Obayashi is studious, intelligent and capable, has achieved a mid-level job in a company, and although his education level is low, he always has a book at the head of his bed, and he is reading when others brush their mobile phones. From books and from society, he has grown into a man with rich connotations and understanding of things.
Barley, when she was young, also briefly worked, but she copied her mother's short temper, did not handle interpersonal relationships well, and did not work after being with Dalin, and then got married and had children, and never stepped into society again.
Obayashi is a man with a sense of family responsibility, not only working hard to earn money outside to support his family, but also buying vegetables and cooking as soon as he returns home, although Barley also has a driver's license, but he is often a driver.
Before marriage, he knew that Barley had a bad temper, but for the sake of looking good, he felt that men should let him do more. To his surprise, his accommodation and tolerance not only did not get the peace he wanted, but the willfulness of barley escalated uncontrollably.
Barley may be unhappy at every little thing, as long as he is unhappy, Da Lin will have to coax her until she is discouraged, and the coaxing time is getting longer and longer, which makes Da Lin tired.
Finally he couldn't stand it, in recent years he had stopped coaxing, Barley was angry with him and ignored it, and finally developed into an argument, and then that day the emotions got out of control and beat her.
And Barley, endlessly angry, endlessly coaxing him, just to prove again and again that she is still his princess, or his baby. She has nowhere else to prove her sense of presence and worth.
I asked Barley, "Why has he changed like this in recent years?" Barley blurted out, "He's changed his mind." "The mind changes, why does it change?" How has that changed? Barley wouldn't think so deeply.
Over the years, Obayashi has not only earned money to support his family, but also continues to learn and grow, he has strongly felt the suffocation and depression in marriage, and he does not want to repeat this model again.
Barley, there is no learning and growth. The most she said was, "He had nothing in the first place, so why would I marry him?" Not because he's nice to me! But now? He actually hit me?!"
The good man didn't mention that she was brave, let alone what kind of courage she was? Marrying a man who has nothing is yong? You yourself have nothing, isn't life created by two people? Don't you marry him and he'll be bare for the rest of his life?! You marry him as a gift?!
Since the beginning of their acquaintance, Barley has been putting himself on a high platform, being looked up and being offered, but looking at the stage is empty, not real high, but inflated, standing on the stage is not stable, or unwilling to come down.
I asked Barley, "Do you know that men want dignity?" And the dignity of men should come first?" She blurted out, "What dignity do you want at home?"
Obayashi has undergone tremendous psychological changes in recent years, the most important factor being that because of his hard work, he is not only able to earn money to support his family, but also belongs to the same class of people of his age, and his social wealth proves his social value, and his sense of dignity is born.
He can be respected in society, but at home he must be careful, always observing the color, without dignity. As a driver at home, if the time error exceeds a few minutes, he will be accused of complaining, and he may be commanded at any time, how can he bear it?!
Barley was also indignant, and the people who had once bowed to her were now from slaves to generals, and she had a serious sense of loss. Although she often clamored for divorce, in fact, she was deeply afraid of divorce, and she was too dependent on him.
Everything needs to be balanced. At that time, the barley of The Great Lintu was still good, and the Great Barley Tu Dalin was good to her and could escape from the original family and take what she needed, which was a balance. When Dalin goes all the way, barley is always out of balance, and barley in his 40s can no longer catch up with Dalin's pace, but at least don't be arrogant and arrogant, be able to thank her husband for his hard work, give him dignity, and balance it a little. Please see "Everyone in the world scolds Chen Shimei, and now people should not be Qin Xianglian"
When men say you don't have to work and I raise you, you have to be careful and don't foolishly agree.
If you are because you are beautiful, he makes you not work, this is house arrest, is control, is possessive, such a beautiful girl thrown into the vast sea of people, he is too insecure. You are a peacock in captivity by him, and only he can see the opening screen of the peacock. Trapped in a small circle like the family, how good can the peacock open screen look? How stretchable can it be?
If you don't let you work because you're competent, it's also house arrest, it's also control, it's possession, he wants you to lose your voice in the family, he doesn't want you to overtake him, he wants you to be subject to him.
When a man says you don't have to work, he can raise you, what you have to be careful of is that this man self-assessment is capable of supporting the family, there must be his advantages, how can you keep up with his pace? How can I get to his pace?
Instead of climbing the vine attached to him, it is like Shu Ting's "To the Oak Tree":
I must be a kapok near you,
Stand with you as the image of a tree.
Roots, held in the ground;
Leaves, blending in the clouds.
Every time the wind blows, we greet each other;
But no one understands our words.
Source: 525 Psychological Network (psy525.cn) A nutritious psychological network!