Columnist: Zhu Jinke, author of "Winning the Brand War"
Text proofreader: Wang Tiedan
Art design: Li Miaozhang
Article word count: 5000-15000 words
Reading time: 5-15 minutes
Write on the front
As the saying goes, "meeting someone does not miss your life", whether it is a high-ranking family or an ordinary family, choosing a mate cannot be a child's play. Finding a partner to start a family is like investing, and the correct investment concept should be "risk first, return second".
This article may not teach you how to "climb the high branch" with high returns, but it can teach you to identify risks. That is, who should a decent person reject!
【Part I】Slag Treasure Book: Male guests stop, female anti-deception must read
In this era of "really easy to feed dogs and cannon kings walking all over the ground", everyone is too much in need of a "treasure book of slag". Especially some female compatriots, born with peach blossom luck, lust peach blossom carnal peach blossom is overwhelmed, how to distinguish and judge, is really distressing. Online and offline, those stories of betrayal and hurt have been heard in nearly a thousand cases, which can simply make the ears cocoon.
Therefore, Jinke has summarized some mental methods, for quick identification of scumbags, just take a seat at the right number, of course, as a male reader, you may also wish to read this article, after all, sometimes inadvertently shown "slag", it is easy to make you miss a relationship that was originally quite future, read this article well, you can prevent missing feelings before they occur.
One, teddy scum
Teddy scum is highly concentrated in the Internet, games, professional technology and other fields, one sentence review is "sperm on the brain can snap, this is the so-called teddy scum".
A person's average daily free time is 4 hours, and Teddy Scum will spend 3 hours of it on various social software to make friends and hook up with girls, and try everything to "go straight to the point", love is his tool, sex is his only purpose. 99% of healthy young and middle-aged men have a "sexual desire" for a healthy and beautiful opposite sex, which is not what he wants, but what his body thinks.
Of course, as long as it is a man with a normal body, he will take a few more glances when he sees beautiful girls, but scumbags will recklessly satisfy their desires even if they have marriage, although good men may have some small ideas in their hearts, but in the end they will not risk giving up their family and loving their wives for a simple shot, this is the difference.
This type of scumbag is mostly concentrated in the Internet, games, high-tech, or new industries. Because the typical thinking mode of practitioners in this type of industry is: "find a problem and use the most optimized solution to solve it". Therefore, after the teddy scum has the desire, it will hook up with girls purely to solve their own needs, but overall, the teddy scum is "relatively clean" slag.
Often it is directly to solve a thousand worries and return to the office building to continue to be an overtime dog.
Affected by its business environment, in the working state where everyone is all Uniqlo and obviously lacks external social interactions, the cheating incident is pure skin and flesh exchanges, and there are few trading ingredients in it.
II. lard residue
Lard residue is highly concentrated in traditional industries such as civil servants, state-owned enterprises, and central enterprises, and the comment in one sentence is: "There is more lard residue in middle age, and there is no fear or fear of grasping".
They are extremely good at using the little power in their hands to seduce or oppress young women, and their favorite wine tables, dinners, and social occasions are their favorites. Once a woman really makes trouble, he will do everything to use his connections to appease or suppress the other party.
Naturally, he is not afraid that this matter will be known by his wife, but he is afraid that this matter will affect his career future. Thanks to network platforms and national policies, there have been fewer and fewer such slag in recent years.
By the way, have female readers ever encountered a situation where after you grabbed your boyfriend, he died and did not admit it? The more you force him to confess, the more he pulls the topic elsewhere, and even it becomes your fault in the end that causes him to cheat? If this is the case, then it is absolute lard residue, there is no cure.
Because the subconscious in his mind is "I just need to avoid this level, I will be safe".
If a man bravely admits his mistakes and "sincerely" confesses his history of making mistakes after being caught by you, then you might as well give him another chance. Because in his heart, his subconscious is "Oops, I made a mistake and was caught by her, I want to improve my moral code". Everyone makes mistakes, and he can reflect on himself like this, at least repentance, as long as you let him know that you will not forgive him a second time.
Why is lard residue mainly concentrated in civil servants, state-owned enterprises, central enterprises, and traditional industries? Because practitioners in these fields are accustomed to discussing and shirking responsibilities with clever tongues, they will naturally kick the problems they should face as a leather ball to others.
Don't look at the leaders of these industries often have a greater say in the department, in fact, they are purely relying on this system to dare to be a blessing, when they were young, as grandchildren were oppressed, when they had the opportunity to be grandfathers, naturally they would not let go.
"Uncle takes turns, come to my house today, and let me taste it, how much power is there?" This is the best portrayal of every scumbag who has just come to power, from the beginning of harassing fellow women at drinking and dinner parties has become a habit, to the daily work of scumbags' subordinates after no hidden dangers, these scumbags slowly become fluttering.
But their shamelessness lies in the fact that they are not afraid of this kind of ugly thing breaking into their homes, because this disgusting peach-colored lace news is not the first time their wife has heard it, but there is nothing they can do. What can really poke at their pain point is the "spillover career", once the East Window incident occurs and they need to bear the consequences themselves, this group of poor insects who have lost their protective wings will do everything to blame the "fault" on others, and use the small rights in their hands to buy others, in the end, they are still a group of poor and powerless weak people in their hearts.
"Power is the best aphrodisiac", the ancients sincerely did not deceive me. They have lost their power to protect them, they are a group of greasy middle-aged people without Viagra.
Third, waiting for the price to sell the "target slag"
The "target slag" is mainly concentrated in "light industries" such as finance, consulting, advertising, and trade, and the comment is: "neither complete you, nor let you go." ”
Everything he does makes you feel like you can get married with him, but it never falls into reality. Why is that? In fact, in his heart, he himself is a goal, and being with you is not the best deal.
You have been with him for three or four years, all the material conditions have been ripe, and when it comes time for each other to talk about marriage, he uncharacteristically pushes and blocks. You have been having an affair with him for three or four months, and you have done everything a lover would do, such as going shopping and holding hands, teasing each other, and even kissing, but he is reluctant to admit and disclose your relationship with him.
When one day, once you have made up your mind to break up with him or end the relationship, but he suddenly changes his attitude and gets close to you again, then this is basically the target of the scum.
Remember the saying: "neither complete you, nor spare you"!
This type of scumbag, generally concentrated in finance, consulting, advertising, trade and other fields, there are many people do not understand why, in the final analysis, it is very simple, because the above field itself is born of "trading", it is easy to get used to naturally turning yourself into a "goal" to measure.
When they are about to be finally sold or priced, they will become hesitant, afraid that they will be underestimated, and the target scum knows that they are not able to be overvalued to find a better buyer, and they feel that they owe themselves a little to themselves for staying with you for life, so they will release you again and again. There is also a theoretical basis for the scumbags of this group, that is, "the older women get, the more depreciated they are, and the older men are, the more they appreciate in value", but everyone knows that the group of appreciating is always the "real men" who dare to be brave and responsible, not this group of scum.
You know, the trading industry is always the most creditworthy, and those who have no credit in marriage are mostly uncredited in their careers.
Wanton and keen to suppress your egos
The egot is hidden in groups such as incompetent second generations, social mixers, and student boys. In a word, the review is "All your efforts are wrong, your progress is useless!" ”
The voice in their hearts is: "Don't be busy, enjoy life with me!" You who give up growing up are the best of you." And you, became a sacrifice of his vanity.
When you're with him, he always makes you feel like you're a burden to him, and he may not say that all the time, but every time you make up your mind to make yourself better, his attitude is not to be happy and supportive for you, but to try to drag you down and negate you.
"Don't sign up for that course, you can't learn it anyway..."
"You don't work out, you don't have the perseverance and determination..."
"Don't contact those people all day, they haven't succeeded much..."
In short, whenever you decide to do something, he will jump out to suppress and oppose your growth at the first time.
Xiaohong is an Internet celebrity entrepreneur in Shenzhen, through the help of Douyin and various social software, she has an Internet celebrity clothing store at twenty-six, with an annual profit of about one million, in the eyes of outsiders she is a glamorous brand manager Standard little NEW MONEY, although the difficult initial stage of money is difficult to earn and difficult to achieve, only she knows that she is cold and warm, but now her small achievements also make her very complacent.
XIAOHONG'S CAREER NATURALLY ALSO WANTS TO PLAN HER LIFELONG EVENT, JUST AT THE BEGINNING OF THIS YEAR, XIAHONG MET A BOY, AND THE PLATFORM FOR GETTING ACQUAINTED WAS ALSO ON DOUYIN, HIS HANDSOME DRESS AND GOOD FAMILY BACKGROUND MADE XIAHONG THINK THAT THIS BOY WAS "THE ONE".
But as the two got along deeper, Xiaohong felt more and more that there was an unspeakable strange estrangeness between them, although the boy was not too bad for her. But what?
Every time, when Xiaohong wants to concentrate on her career, boys will always have various reasons and reasons to distract Xiaohong from work;
Every time, when Xiaohong wants to communicate and share resources with the seniors in the circle, the boys will let Xiaohong avoid contact with them;
Every time, when Xiaohong was empty to go to exercise, the boy would find a way to let her accompany him to have fun.
All in all, after a long time, Xiaohong found that the boy was doing everything to stop her growth!
Finally, one day, Xiaohong's store was banned by Taobao due to operational problems suspected of excessive marketing, and at this time, the boy's suppression was even more intensely beaten on Xiaohong, "You didn't do it well, now you know, right?" What kind of money does this kind of small shop make, I have long told you not to waste this energy, a vacancy, right? ”
By chance, Xiaohong inexplicably met the boy's ex-girlfriend, and the two women did not quarrel and rob bloodily, but the ex-girlfriend calmly said to Xiaohong as calm as water: "When I broke up with him, it was because I had several opportunities for success in my career that he delayed." He may be good to you, but he is most afraid that you will grow up or even surpass him, and his confidence with you is purely from his parents' family background. What he needs is not a lover who grows up with each other, but a doll under his control, which can satisfy his psychological vanity and sense of accomplishment. ”
This type of scumbag is actually the most terrible of all scumbags, because he will not only eventually abandon you at some point in the future, but he will also abandon you and leave you with a wasted years of life without growth.
This type of scumbag, concentrated in the student boy group and the rich second generation group with nothing to do, their common point is that they have no achievements in their career or life field, either relying on pure appearance or simple family lineage to attract girls, so when a girl has more than their career ability and achievements, their subconscious and self-esteem will feel hurt, so they use various negative ways to suppress and destroy your self-esteem.
Many female compatriots could have had good careers and wealth, but they were all delayed by the man's suppression and disruption, which is a pity, a pity!
epilogue
The person who is truly worthy of your life must be willing to love you and turn this love into a practical person.
He may be a little lustful, but he doesn't see anything different;
He may be a little unreliable, but he will fulfill his responsibility to you;
He may be a little unsuccessful, but he is happy to grow with you;
He not only loves you, he wants to be with you forever;
In this world, others can have you without you, but in his heart, you are the only one!
Next-Treasure Book: Female guests avoid, men hide in the pit!
I think that there should not be a single female compatriot who is willing to be bullied by the lard residue in the system, delayed by the dregs of gold and jade in the defeat of the target, and suppressed by the egotistical scumbag who has achieved nothing. So, don't male compatriots expect to have a "Treasure Book"?
I hope that male readers will not be delayed by those after reading. I also hope that female readers can learn to summarize and summarize after reading, so that they can become better and have a stronger ability to choose a mate. In particular, "The Treasure Book of" will not only be limited to marriage and love, but will be analyzed from the perspective of "why is it unpopular".
One, inexplicably superior
The characteristics of an inexplicably superior are: with arrogance that does not match his value and appearance, especially after Xiao You's status, the bursting self-confidence ah, beyond words!
Sister Zhou, who is over 40 years old, is not only the CFO of a listed company, with an annual income of nearly 10 million, but also the mother of two children. Unlike what others think, she perfectly balances the energy of career and family, and while her career is steadily developing, she also allows her two young men to enroll in a private high school in Canada, and the top grades are expected to get the school's IVY League recommendation.
is such a successful woman, usually dealing with people, the tone is always polite and humble, and it is always so, without exception. You know, many of the people he interacts with, in terms of career achievements and social status, are actually not higher than her.
On the contrary, many young people obviously lack accumulation and foundation in this regard, perhaps due to the lack of home education and spiritual education. Speaking of this, Jinke remembered a party he attended at the beginning of the year, when most of the upstarts who participated in the new year were mainly concentrated in finance, technology, culture, new media and other fields.
There is a girl engaged in new media, the whole process is to promote her entrepreneurial success history to the people around her, and whenever others mention the topic of another industry and want to participate, she always starts with a sentence "Ah, you don't understand, this industry is no longer good",
In response, for fear that others would not know her achievements and vision.
Afterwards, the host of the event that night secretly greeted each of us and said that he would not invite her to our party next time, and it was too annoying to have such a person who kept spreading negative energy.
YOU SEE, AS A NEW MONEY, IT IS NORMAL FOR A YOUNG PERSON TO HAVE ACHIEVEMENTS AND BE A LITTLE ARROGANT, BUT IT IS A TERRIBLE THING TO CONSTANTLY PROVE YOUR SENSE OF EXISTENCE LIKE THIS.
Young people, we must understand the saying "the able do not show, the high do not show", this is not only a humble virtue and social etiquette, but also a kind of survival wisdom. Because "people have an instinctive hostility to other successful people, if this successful person is still very arrogant, everyone is naturally willing to step on him when he fails."
This sentence is summed up by Jinke after going through various matters large and small. The girl who does new media, with an annual income of five million+, and then think about the young and arrogant girls around you, how much confidence do they have to support their arrogance?
The real use of superiority should be as a moat after your career is successful, and a proper sense of superiority can block out many meaningless social and communication costs.
II, Hundred Flowers Butterfly
The characteristics of the Hundred Flowers Butterfly are: the men around him feel that they have a chance, and their feelings have become a social game that focuses on participation. This type of girl generally has a good appearance and temperament, and the social groups in which they appear are mostly male, so they can fully enjoy the sense of achievement of the stars and the moon.
In her daily communication with her, any ambiguous gesture from a man is something she likes, and she will respond with a meaningful response. But no matter how intimate and ambiguous you become, she won't be clear about the boyfriend and girlfriend relationship between you and her.
After Xiaopeng was hurt by a hundred flowers butterfly, he complained: "I met a senior sister, and my relationship with her is also very good, which can be described as intimate. Usually go out to eat and watch movies are the two of us, and there is no problem holding hands and hugging. But as soon as I talk to her that I want her to officially be my girlfriend, she will find excuses to prevaricate or talk about him left and right. Later, after a long time, I learned that she used to have such a relationship with several boys, eating, watching movies, and giving gifts, and those who came did not refuse. I questioned her later, and she retorted that they were all good friends, not to mention that I was not her boyfriend, so what qualifications would I have to question too much? ”
Speaking of this, Xiaopeng, a young man who was only twenty-two, shed tears. It seems that Xiaopeng really wants to be with this senior sister, but for the senior sister, Xiaopeng is just her "good friend" + ATM, and it is only one of them.
She will never explicitly refuse all your kindness, and she will give you some sweetness from time to time, and when you suddenly wake up, you find that you have become half a "brother-in-law" with most of the buddies in this circle.
In fact, such a girl is also quite scheming, she accurately grasps the psychological state of men "rather kill wrong, not let go", so this social way can be repeatedly successful, but in fact, such a huge side effect is that they will soon make their own reputation rotten in the circle.
Whether you are male or female, you must remember that there is no airtight wall in the world, and such a social image is equivalent to leaking wind on all sides, after a long time, when people in the circle have a certain understanding of your personality, they will no longer treat you as a real love candidate, your daily communication and heterosexual contacts are normal, but the ambiguity and use of others without knowing the proportion are the key factors that many beautiful girls cannot marry, after all, no man wants to become a "spiritual receiver" and a "potential green man".
Third, hypocritical feminist
A hypocritical feminist commented: "If you have interests and gains, you will use gender advantages to fight, and if you need to make your own efforts, you will use gender advantages to escape." ”
Have you ever come into contact with such a girl? When she needs to share a part of the work or pressure at work or in her daily life, she will cleverly use her gender as an excuse to prevaricate:
"This kind of thing doesn't seem to be suitable for me as a girl."
"You boys are okay with this kind of thing"
But when the time comes, she openly enjoys the fruits of other people's labor. Or after falling in love and getting married, she will try her best to urge and spur the man to have wealth and success, often "you look at other people's homes" and "how people are", but there are no requirements and expectations for herself.
This type of girl is actually not stupid, and can even be said to be smart and knows how to use her gender advantage.
But we need to know that cleverness and wisdom are always two different things.
Momentary cleverness often only makes you temporarily clever, and over time everyone will hate your words and deeds. Jinke would like to advise every girl who adheres to the "pseudo-feminist" creed to understand one thing, don't always think that you can "use" what you can do with your gender, but reflect on what you should "do" for your gender.
In China, there are single mothers who have raised four children with their own hands, strong women who start their own businesses on their own, and little girls who have left their hometowns to study hard for their artistic dreams, they may be in different classes of society, but they are all truly worthy of our respect.
Remember, women's rights, like all powers in the world, cannot be given to you by others, but earned by your own efforts. So if you still have a similar thought in your mind "I'm a woman so I can XXX", Jinke sincerely advises you to reflect as soon as possible, otherwise you will sooner or later become an out-of-the-career in your career, social circle and family.
Presumptuous, malicious and straightforward
The malicious and straightforward commented in one sentence: "Except for her, all women in the world are white lotuses, and only she is a male friend", but everyone knows that his directness actually makes it difficult for male friends to accept.
"I'm just straight, what do I say!"
Have you heard this many times? And the lower the social class, or the more shallow girls like to use this sentence as a mantra, as if "BE REAL" is the standard political correctness, but only she is the most "REAL" in the world, and those girls who maintain good manners and politeness on the scene are hypocritical white lotuses. As everyone knows, her words and deeds will also make her the most easily rejected object in the social circle, because she does not understand the difference between "straightforward" and "unobtrusive".
Straightforwardness often refers to the true expression of views and judgments on things, such as her boyfriend asking her what she wants to eat, she clearly answers that she wants to eat hot pot, such as her boyfriend asking her what she wants for a Qixi gift, she clearly indicates a certain bag, and when her boyfriend says that she has been tight recently and may not be able to buy a gift, she will also accept it very calmly, and will not accumulate grievances since then.
It can be seen that true straightforwardness should be quite sunny and a way of doing things, and it is accompanied by maturity and thoughtfulness. And many malicious and straightforward are actually essentially indiscriminate "mouth without cover"!
When a friend's job is in trouble, she says, "Not because you're incompetent?" ”
When a friend's clothing is a little flawed, she will say, "Your taste is terrible." ”
When a friend's relationship is frustrated, she will say, "She must have cuckolded you." ”
We won't list the types of this, you must have encountered it, because Jinke has also encountered it, but fortunately I have never been friends with these people.
In addition, the most favorite thing for such girls is to use their male friends to hit other women around them, including other women's clothing, occupation, way of doing things, etc., in short, they can always be picked out by her discerning torch, and then verbally criticized. If you come into contact with this kind of girl, or you usually have such speech habits, then Jinke wants to tell you one thing, many times male friends are willing to listen to you complain like this may be out of helpless politeness, no one wants to get along with a girl who is used to spitting evil words, because today you can spit on others like this, tomorrow you may be able to spit on him like this.
We always say that "the human face is also feng shui, and the accumulation of wealth depends on the eyes and ears, and everything depends on the mouth." Before you speak on weekdays, think clearly about the meaning and weight of this sentence, and don't let your mouth break your way.
Wu, blind mixed circle
Since Jinke usually attends some business occasions, there are many "blind circle", and their characteristics are also obvious: "Dinners, wines, afternoon tea, where she is fun, incompetent in doing business, and ruthless in delaying things." ”
This type of girl is almost everywhere, and her life focuses on attending all kinds of drinking parties, dinners, social events, and parties. Purely for the sake of participation, purely hoping to meet more contacts and resources, but after getting acquainted, most of them were abandoned due to lack of execution.
Fortunately, this is not very important, after all, everyone has their own way of life, if this way is what she likes, then she is happy to listen to it. But the lethality of the chaotic is that she is a natural spoiler, which male friends must be vigilant about!
For example, if you were chatting nicely with someone important at a "loose" dinner, when it comes to exchanging key ideas, she suddenly appears and starts inserting endless personal ideas.
For example, the organizer wants to introduce you to an important person, and not long after you start the topic, she suddenly gets stuck in the C position, either listening to your conversation blankly, looking like you are at a loss, or starting to take care of yourself and talk endlessly about your insignificant trivialities.
The characteristics of this kind of girl are that they will always be too self-focused, but they never spend energy and effort on personal brand and word-of-mouth management, and go around in various shallow social occasions, because youth and beauty are always good embellishments, so they often have the self-identification of socialites because of high-end occasions, but they can never become a real high-end courtesan, wasting their youth.
So, what is a real high-end courtesan? In my experience, male compatriots only need to look at the following three aspects:
1. Is there a real big guy who completes the deal through her?
2. What is the transaction equivalent of the synthetic she has in her hand?
3. What grade is her own "out and mixing" outfit? (This is more mundane, but also the most intuitive)
epilogue
I once said a witty saying: "The standard of a middle-aged successful man: watch and bitch", although ridiculous, but also vivid. After all, as a strategic consultant, Jinke usually deals with big men from both political and business circles, and the main readers of the column "Planner Zhu Jinke" are mainly male.
The end of the relationship is marriage, and the cornerstone of marriage is the family business. Therefore, whether male or female, choosing a mate is a big deal and must be cautious. This article lists four types of "scumbags" that women must be vigilant against, and five types of "" that male compatriots need to polish their eyes for reference.