In the TV series "Their Names", the male advocate Weichen is quite a shot.
Good-looking, kind, decent work, promising career development.
He is willing to pay for his wife, he also has care and care, the family has assets and confidence, and there is no burden on the health of his parents.
But this excellent and decent man did some very disgraceful things in the play.
I can't help but sigh in my heart, excellent does not represent character, and language can also be contrary to the true heart.
People are really complex polyhedra.
Brush the sense of presence
Zhou Min is Zhang Weichen's junior sister.
This cute little junior sister was born into a medical family, and her father was the teacher of the current director of their hospital.
There is a background, strength, and appearance.
It also happened that this little junior sister liked Zhang Weichen very much, and when Zhang Weichen went abroad for further study, she could drop everything and fly abroad to study with him.
During her time abroad, she took care of Zhang Weichen's life, and Zhang Weichen also treated her very closely, entering and exiting together, and even holding her arm to take photos and post them in the circle of friends.
After returning to China, the two also talked about academics together, met together for lunch, and picked up and delivered them to and from work.
Does Zhang Weichen know that the little junior sister likes him?
He knows.
And he must have given hope to the little junior sister and made the little junior sister rely on him more.
Otherwise, what force prompted a high-quality unmarried young woman to fly thousands of miles abroad to find a married man, and even told Zhang Weichen that she could use her family connections to let them stay in the United States together?
Otherwise, what kind of force allows an unmarried girl to find him to eat with him every day and pester him to and from work together?
What kind of power can make Zhou Min not hide his favor for Zhang Weichen in front of Ren Duomei, and tell him bluntly, "I can help Senior Brother's career..."
No one gives their emotions and energy for something hopeless.
Especially between men and women, if Zhang Weichen did not give any sweetness, the proud and confident Zhou Min would not be so desperate.
Sure enough, at the stray animal rescue station, Zhou Min couldn't help but expose everything in his heart:
Senior brother, I know that you have a sense of responsibility for your family, but will you bring someone else here? Isn't that what you hinted at me?
I know you must have feelings for me, do you talk to someone else? You won't, you're only most relaxed when you're with me...
On the big weekend, I first sent a hair belt to the little junior sister who had a good impression of her, and then asked my junior sister to come to the stray animal rescue station twice.
Coupled with the previous care of each other abroad, daily contacts, picking up and dropping off and commuting, saving stray cats together, and even Zhou Min put high heels under Zhang Weichen's desk, he did not object.
How could this not make Zhou Min hopeful?
Ren Duomei summed it up very well: sometimes men give hope to the little girl without any practical action, just hint.
Men are really selfish, in order to enjoy the feeling of being liked, in order to satisfy their vanity, obviously have a family, obviously can't talk about liking, but want to give people hope.
Obviously, you can't be together, but you also have to be ambiguous with each other and let others go crazy for him.
Selfish and shameless.
Various operations to conceal infertility
Zhang Weichen suffers from weak sperm, and he knew it when he didn't meet Ren Duomei a few years ago.
But from falling in love to getting married, to his parents tempting in various ways to force Ren Tomei to have children, he did not tell a word of truth to share the pressure of Ren Tomei.
When Ren Duomei said that she wanted children very much, she was brainwashed in various ways:
I can see your hard work in my wife, what my mother is saying in the future, I will deal with it, my wife and I marry you into the door to enjoy happiness, not to suffer.
You see the woman who came to give birth to a child in the obstetrics and gynecology department of our hospital, it is difficult for me to accept it as a doctor, and have you ever thought that you will become fat and your skin will deteriorate after giving birth, you love beauty so much, why should you suffer this sin so early?
I just wish I came home every day and my wife could cook for me, and we lived a two-person world, wouldn't that be great...
How touching, if you don't know, this sounds like moving to death, how considerate, what a hurting husband.
Later, I may feel that making excuses is not a solution, so I simply loosened my mouth and said that since I want to have a baby, I should go for a pre-pregnancy test first.
Then he directly changed Ren Tomei's original normal examination results and blamed Ren Tomei for his infertility defects.
Without Ren Duomei's knowledge, she directly told Ren Tomei's parents about Ren Duomei's infertility and condemned her "guilty" in front of her family.
When Ren Duomei wanted to read the checklist, Zhang Weichen was still blushing and his heart was not beating, and he continued to "think about Ren Duomei":
The results of the wife's examination are not important, you don't need to look at it, I don't want you to see it, let's be an ordinary Dink family what's wrong, I won't tell my parents, your parents I have already said, our family does not need children ...
He continues to hypocritically play the role of a good man who loves his wife.
Seeing this, I laughed angrily.
How can there be such shameless people in this world?
Can this kind of thing be hidden for a lifetime, instead of taking such a big deal to hide it, why not solve it in another way?
Maybe he really thought that Ren Duomei was so stupid that he could cheat for a lifetime.
Zhang Weichen really took pains for his poor male self-esteem.
Inner inferiority constantly PUA his wife
Zhang Weichen's PUA to Ren Tomei has been there from the beginning.
The root cause of suppressing a person is because of one's own inner inferiority.
If you want to control each other because of your low self-esteem, you will belittle and hit the other party's self-esteem.
At first, I never understood that Zhang Weichen is a very good man, with a family background and ability and a future, how can he look very afraid of his wife's contact with society.
After Ren Tomei's first interview, he asked about the interview results, Ren Duomei vaguely said that he did not pass, and Zhang Weichen began to poke PUA secretly:
He sat beside Ren Tomei and took her hand and said affectionately: "No company knows my wife's goodness, I really dare not think about what you would do if you didn't have me."
It's a nice thing to say, but it sounds like one thing to me: if others can't find your strengths, I can, so you are best suited to stay at home and serve me.
Tomei asked rhetorically, if I worked, would there be no you?
He smiled again and said: "Tomei, you are born with the ability to manage housework, you are my spiritual leader, my wife I see everything you do, you can buy good vegetables carefully, and take care of everything in the house."
The old people on both sides are also taken care of by you, the clothes will not become clean by themselves, and the housework will not be done by itself.
I really can't bear to let you go out and be called by others, how good are you to stay at home, why do we the heart of selling white powder for cabbage money, as long as my wife takes the money I give one day, I will always think about going home..."
This is really too level.
First praised Ren Duomei's advantages, and affirmed her efforts from detail to detail, and then determined that Ren Duomei's status in this family is her spiritual leader, and finally it was both a cake painting and a reminder, if you stay at home well, I will not only give money, but also be a good husband and go home on time every day...
What woman doesn't want her husband to see her own merits and affirm her contribution to the family?
What woman wouldn't want to be a unique partner in her husband's mind?
And what woman doesn't want her husband to even bring money completely herself?
Analyzing this, I myself was surprised, this Zhang Weichen is a master of understanding people's hearts and understanding human nature.
Obviously, she is unwilling to let Ren Duomei go out to work, and is obviously brainwashing Ren Duomei in disguise to transmit the concept of "your advantages at home, you are only suitable for being a housewife", but the reason is both affectionate and considerate and high-sounding.
But any woman with a dull brain and a poor mind, in the hands of such a man, will basically be willing to be a housewife for life.
I am speechless and strange, why is Zhang Weichen like this?
It wasn't until I later chased the drama to the episode where Zhang Weichen changed the results of Ren Duomei's pre-education examination, that I understood that Zhang Weichen's PUA and Zhang Weichen's deep inferiority self-esteem all came from the fact that he could not have children as a man.
The lack of fertility, the inability to inherit the lineage, deeply hurt his male self-esteem, this strange shame made him deeply inferior, both afraid that the people around him would look down on him, and he was afraid that Ren Tomei would leave him after knowing the truth, and he would have nothing.
So Zhang Weichen changed the results of Ren Tomei's pre-pregnancy examination, and then set up a bureau that he thought was seamless:
did not directly tell Ren Tomei the test results, but took Ren Tomei's parents to celebrate his birthday together, and told the two old people on the way that "Ren Duomei is infertile", and said that he did not mind, whether he had children or not, he would treat Ren Duomei well.
In this way, he can not only hide the fact that he is infertile, but also create his own good man personality, and then with a powerful blow to Ren Tomei, who is starting a business and has a good momentum, he can pull Ren Tomei, who is starting a business and has a good momentum, home and continue to live under his wing.
But he didn't know that Ren Duomei had done an examination before, and the test results were normal, so when Ren Duomei asked him to check the report, he still continued to "affectionately" PUA Ren Tomei:
Wife you don't need, I don't want you to see it, let's be an ordinary Dink family what's wrong, I won't tell my parents, your parents I have already said, our family does not need children ...
If it weren't for the bottom in his heart, if it weren't for Ren Duomei's brain being smart enough, there was a high probability, he would have been completely hit by Zhang Weichen's success, gave up entrepreneurship, and honestly became a housewife.
Seeing this, I can't help but sigh, we all look forward to harmony and respect each other in marriage, but how can we tell whether the sweet words that the person in marriage gives you are sincere or sincere, or a poison of false feelings?
And how did this man manage to do such a cruel thing to this woman who truly loved himself and took care of him wholeheartedly for several years?
The supreme to tomorrow and the moon, the closest relatives to the estranged husband and wife, the ancients sincerely did not deceive me.
I used to think that in any relationship, as long as I maintain sincerity and sincerity, I will definitely exchange the sincerity and sincerity of the other party.
However, when people reach middle age, they suddenly understand that many times they may be really useless and useless to be beautiful, even if the other party is your incomparably close lover.
In any relationship, people will have their own calculations, their own scheming, and their own plans.
The same is true in love marriages.
For money, for face, for profit, or for other things, we may all do things that make each other uncomfortable or even hurt each other.
This may not be because we don't love each other, but because we love ourselves more.
Love your needs, love your interests, love your face, love your self-esteem.
So I want to say that meanness is an inevitable undertone of human nature, and everyone has it.
So what we should do is not to equate the label of excellence with a person's character.
Don't take the other person's sweet words as an expression of love.
Try to be less dependent, more independent, less fantastic, more sober and rational in relationships.
Don't take any relationship, anyone, as a lifesaver.
In this way, in the event of any situation, we can also think objectively and calmly like Ren Tomei and think about where to go with restraint.
You will not be deceived for a while, and you will pit yourself for a lifetime.