Is it a grandmother or a grandmother? The real data is too hard to tell
Netizens shouted: This is the reality
Children are the most spiritual beings in the world
Whoever truly loves them, they must be able to perceive it
- Caption
There is a line in the TV series "Little Shed"
"Mother is born, grandma brings, grandparents come to watch"
And in real life, this kind of grandmother and grandfather with a baby
When I grew up, the phenomenon of grandparents "picking up ready-made" is really not uncommon
So someone would ask
Whether the child is kissing his grandparents or his grandparents
Originally, grandma and grandpa worked hard to bring the baby, and the children would naturally be closer to them
But in fact, in the eyes of grandparents, no matter who brought up the grandson, it is their "own family"
So it should be close to them
So who is the real child kissing?
Today we will analyze it
01
I don't know if you've found out in recent years
The phenomenon of grandmothers and grandfathers bringing babies is increasing
I once saw a survey online
Ask, "Who's in your family with the word child?" ”
As a result, nearly half of the netizens chose to take the baby with their grandmother
And one-third of the netizens chose to bring their own
That is to say, the situation of grandparents with babies is really relatively small
So why is this happening?
There are 2 reasons for this
From the perspective of people's ideas
With the development of society
The old mentality that my daughter was married to someone else's family has slowly waned
Old people with daughters will not feel that their grandchildren are other people's children
And many "post-80s" and "post-90s" are almost only children
Therefore, when the child is born, the old man will take the initiative to help with the baby
Emotionally
Even if the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is good, when the child is born
Most mothers are still more willing to leave their children to their own mothers
Because of the help of the mother, even if there is a child-rearing conflict
Nor will there be much estrangement
It is much easier to get along with than mother-in-law and daughter-in-law
In addition, it is not difficult to find such a phenomenon
That's a lot of families
Before the child was three years old, he was basically carried by his grandmother
But when I go to school, I will let my grandparents take care of it
This leads to people wondering whether the child is kissing the grandmother or the grandmother?
02
Some people think that before the child is 3 years old
Their memories are vague or even absent
So for kids
Compared to the grandmother who took care of herself before she was three years old
It is easier to get close to the grandmother who gets along with her after the age of 3
However, some people think
Whether it is grandma or grandma, they are all close relatives
For children, it should be the same
As for the answer
Let's look at what science says
There is such a point in Evolutionary Psychology
Think sorted from psychological closeness
The order of elders in a child's mind should be: grandmother, grandmother, grandfather, grandfather
The reason is simple
As a grandmother, you usually love your daughter very much
So when the daughter had a child
The grandmother would love the child very much
Have a closer relationship with your child
Relatively speaking, grandmothers are often not so close because of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law
The reason why grandfathers and grandfathers are ranked behind female elders
The reason is also simple
Because it's whether it's a grandmother or a grandmother
They are pregnant with October and work hard to bring a baby
Will have more experience and empathy than male elders
So when the child is born
The kind of "motherhood" in them will make them older than men
There are more advantages in getting along with children
They also know how to love their children better
Take care of the children
Naturally, when children grow up, they will become closer to their female elders
03
So does it mean that the child and the grandmother must be closer than the grandmother?
And female elders must be closer than male elders?
In fact, the answer is not necessarily
People's relatives are estranged and close, often affected by many factors
And it will evolve and change over time
So nothing is absolute
For example, there are a lot of people who will feel it
Before the child was 3 years old, Grandma and Grandpa brought the child up with a handful of and a handful of urine
As a result, when the child grows up, he gets along with his grandparents more and forgets his grandparents
In this way, Isn't Grandma and Grandpa too much of a loss?
In fact, although the child has no memory before the age of 3
But before the age of 3 is also a critical period for their brain development
So even if the child grows up, he doesn't get along much with his grandparents
But that kind of "attachment relationship" that was left behind when I was a child.
A feeling of absolute trust
But it will always remain in the child's heart
Let the child always have a sense of closeness with the grandmother and grandfather
And if Grandma has not had children since she was a child
Or busy taking care of grandchildren
No time to bring grandchildren
Then the child will naturally be closer to the grandparents
In addition, if the personality and concept of the elderly are not very good
For example, although I help with my children every day
But it's not very good for children
Or if the patriarchal mentality is serious, then even if they stay together every day
I believe that children will not be too close to such elders
You may even be disgusted and resentful of such elders because of this
So, in fact, grandparents and grandparents are the children's closest relatives
There is no difference between intimacy and intimacy
For kids
It depends on who they are closer to
The key is to see if the elders really love their children
As long as the elders have really paid
Then the child will surely return the same sincerity
Whoever loves him, he will love the same
And many netizens also said: This is the reality
So as a parent, on the question of who the child kisses
In fact, there is no need to compete for a high or low
As long as the elderly are willing to help and are willing to be good to the children
As a junior, you should be grateful
Don't divide "your home" or "my family"
04
So is it good for the old man to take the baby?
Many parents are very entangled in this issue
Bring your own baby, the economic conditions do not allow it
Let the old man bring the baby
It is also worried that the elderly are too doting on children, or that backward ideological concepts will delay the growth and development of children
In fact, everything has pros and cons
The same is true for old people with babies
From the bad side
The ideological concepts of the elderly are indeed relatively backward
The mother-in-law of a neighbor of mine is a typical example
At that time, after the mother gave birth to the child, the mother-in-law took the initiative to ask Miao to help with the child
As a result, the child is one to half years old
The mother-in-law refused to let the baby breastfeed
Say that breast milk after half a year is toxic!
As a result, she went to the hospital several times
Moreover, there is a big disadvantage of the elderly with the baby
That is, they are particularly prone to spoiling children
If parents leave it alone, it will affect the child's growth
However, if parents stop it, it may also cause family conflicts
Therefore, there are still many places where the old man takes the baby well
And on the bright side
The elderly with babies also have many advantages over young people
For example, the old man's personality is more stable and kind
You will be more patient with your child
The care will also be more meticulous
Then this will be very good for children who need to feel safe
It will make them grow more confident and cheerful
Moreover, the life experience and wisdom of the elderly are also relatively rich
It is also very beneficial for children's behavior in the world
In addition, children's social skills tend to become stronger when children live in extended families from an early age
So, ah, the elderly with babies also have many benefits
So do you think the old man with the baby is good or not?
Is the child related to the grandparents or the grandparents?
Welcome to leave a message to discuss
See you in the next issue