The Paper's reporter Chen Yuanyuan intern Chen Lei Ding Chaoyi Xue Ke
"In the process of translation, I pray for simplicity; In the process of proofreading, I pray for a little smoother; If I don't translate, I pray for peace in my studies. ”
The first time Mr. Jin, 51, used his smartphone earlier this year, when his mother had used it before she died. In addition to his mother's old friends, he began to have his own contacts in the address book — classmates, teachers, fellow translators and journalists.
Last winter, his father, Jin Sexyong, dialed the phone to the local media in Hangzhou at the funeral home, and these contacts were able to take place, "Can you write the story of my son?" My son is a genius, he's in a mental hospital now, and his mom just left today. ”
His son, Jin Xiaoyu, is bipolar and translator. During the time when the disease did not invade, Jin Xiaoyu stayed in a 20-square-meter room, taught himself English, Japanese and German, and translated 22 books, but few people knew. Since his diagnosis in high school, his father Jin's life trajectory has also changed, and caring for his sick son has become the most important thing.
The media focused on the father and son. A few months later, the father and son received long-lost good news - Jin Xiaoyu was invited to join the Provincial Translators Association; Some publishing houses came to him and gave him a salary increase; Also, his blind right eye was healed.
But as the others gradually left, the lives of the father and son returned to silence. A sense of crisis has always hung over them. Every day, Jin Xiaoyu desperately grabs time to translate; And Jin Sex bravely and tremblingly takes care of his son, and is even more worried that his son will have nothing to rely on in the future.
Silent home
In Jin Xiaoyu's home, the most vivid and easily overlooked thing is a special kind of silence.
Since July, Hangzhou has issued a series of high temperature warnings, the weather is hot and dry, the cicadas outside the house are chirping, the noise is loud, but the father and son at the dinner table are very quiet, only the ceiling fan above the head creaks and creaks.
Before each meal, Jin Sexyong will first clip the dish into his son's bowl In addition to special labeling, the pictures in this article are taken by the surging news reporter Chen Yuanyuan
Jin Xiaoyu first broke the silence: "Almost every shrimp today is alive. He said with his head bowed as he ate. Almost every meal of the family has shrimp, as well as cucumber and tomato egg soup, because Jin Xiaoyu loves to eat.
The father peeled the shrimp and did not look at his son: "Yes." How much is a pound? ”
“23。 ”
"Yes."
Every day at lunch, Jin Xiaoyu would talk about the dishes he bought in the morning, which was a rare conversation between them in the day. His father did not understand Jin Xiaoyu's thoughts about the price of the dish—he was worried that he would not be able to translate and take care of himself after his parents were absent, and two or three years ago he began to train his ability to live independently. However, the father thought that his son was bored and asked blindly, and he also answered simply.
It is not surprising that Jin Xiaoyu's emotions are not traceable and are often overlooked. He suffered from bipolar disorder in high school, took sedatives for many years, and had an emotionless face. Even sweat ran down his face, and he complained that he was "hot dead" and just frowned. He smiled seldom, laughing and raising the corners of his mouth, but for three seconds, he quickly withdrew.
However, the police who have the most contact with him on weekdays remind me that Jin Xiaoyu's expression is a good thing, and if he takes the initiative to say a lot, it means that he is going to be sick.
For nearly 30 years, he was "raised at home", had little contact with outsiders, stuttered when talking, kept rubbing his hands, and could only relax in the face of his father.
The father, Jin Sexyong, is 87 years old, just three rounds older than his son. He has a pair of long-lived eyebrows, smiles very kindly, can be considered talkative, but he can't talk to his son. Father and son are dependent on each other, but they are lonely.
Walking into the old house on the ground floor where they live, they will first pass by a small south-facing balcony, where the sewing machine of her mother Cao Meizao was placed here, and when she was not sick, the father and son could always see her sitting here making clothes, and the sewing machine was "clicking" and clicking. After her death at the end of last year, the family fell completely silent. Further inside is a dark and chaotic living room, which is also Jin's bedroom, separated from his son's room by only a wall.
After Jin Xiaoyu's family moved in in 1987, the old house has never been renovated
The father's life routine revolves around the son. It was a little summer, the dawn was early, more than five o'clock, although Jin Zhiyong was still lying on the bed, his ears had carefully discerned the movement in his son's house - initially the iron bed made a rattling sound, and he should have turned over and got up; After that is a "drip" sound, the air conditioner should be turned off; Later, when the stools bumped and there was a light in the house, he undoubtedly walked out of the door and into the kitchen.
Since her mother fell ill and was bedridden, Jin Xiaoyu took the initiative to take on some housework, getting up early to boil water and prepare breakfast. When everything was ready, he pulled down the stool and was ready to sit down to eat, and his father got up and followed.
At about 7 o'clock, Jin Xiaoyu went out for a walk to exercise and buy vegetables, and when he came home an hour later, he made the shrimp ready, and he went into the house and began to translate. Without special circumstances, he would not leave the house for a whole day afterwards.
Lunch was my father's task. Usually at 9:30, Jin Sexyong dragged a difficult step into the kitchen, not knowing what was wrong with his body, and his feet were swollen badly. On this day, he was ready to add pig's trotters to the plate to steam, but the chopsticks accidentally fell to the ground, he lowered his body, looked at the chopsticks, hesitated for a few seconds, slowly bent down, and picked it up.
For this old man, cooking is already a laborious task. Usually, if Jin Xiaoyu is hospitalized, he will go to the community canteen to play a box lunch for a day, but as long as his son is at home, he will definitely cook.
Afraid of cooking late, my son's lunch break will be postponed. It wasn't until I had finished my meal and left it in the pot to keep warm that I sat down on the couch and took a sip of water. When he heard the sound of his son opening the door, he went over to serve rice and serve food.
After lunch, Jin Xiaoyu would continue to translate behind closed doors, occasionally hearing the sound of him reading foreign languages. Across a wall, my father sat on the couch, reading literature, reading newspapers, writing, and when he was tired, he sat and snoozed.
Most of the time, Jin Shengyong sat alone on the couch, and Jin Xiaoyu translated in the next room
Two sympathies, one fatherly love
Jin SexYong once wrote a paragraph in his notebook, named "Father and Son": The joy of father and son together is a fusion of the most selfless love and a friendship full of trust.
We are sad to find that the time before our son became an adult may also be the most intimate time in the lives of these two men.
Group photo of Jin Sexyong and Jin Xiaoyu in the early years Courtesy of the interviewee
But Mr. Kim said the change in his personality may have begun with an eye injury.
That year, Jin Xiaoyu was 6 years old, his brother Jin Xiaotian was 9 years old, his parents were engineers, and a family of four lived in a family compound in Tianjin.
That day, after her parents went to work, Jin Xiaoyu and her brother went to the neighbor's house to play. While he was reading the villain book, the neighbor kid was holding an air gun, and a pencil flew out of the air gun and hit him in the right eye. The next day, after the crystal removal surgery, the eyes could not see.
After Jin Xiaoyu injured one eye, the family's life seemed calm, but there were ups and downs under the water. Jin Xiaoyu said that since then, his mother often said that her eyes were not good, that she could not study science, and that she could not see with a microscope, so as soon as he took math class, he talked and made trouble. Later, he would steal cards from his classmates' drawers and gradually tire of learning.
In order for him to go to school well, in six years, his mother transferred schools for him three times, but when he reached the sixth grade, his boredom was serious.
In 1984, after graduating from primary school, Jin Xiaoyu, who had lived in Tianjin for 22 years, decided to leave with his family and live in Hangzhou, because "his heart was sad, his eyes were lost in Tianjin."
In Jin Xiaoyu's impression, he changed to a new environment, the learning state is very good, but the third year of junior high school began to tire of skipping class, each time not to go is a week, to high school like Go, began to "large sections" do not go to class.
In high school, Jin Sexual Yong found that his son's temper became "strange" and he would drop things when he was angry. Jin Sexyong took his son to the hospital for examination and was diagnosed with "bipolar disorder (also known as bipolar disorder)", and he still remembers the doctor's words: this disease came and went quickly, and it is likely to recur after being cured.
Jin Sexyong wrote to the expert doctor to seek treatment opportunities and expressed his difficulties in how to integrate his son into society
Since then, Jin Xiaoyu began to be hospitalized at least two or three times a year, and at that time, there was no medical insurance, and it cost tens of thousands of yuan to be hospitalized for one or two months each time. The family began to worry about money. Coincidentally, the following year, Jin Wasyong was stationed in Thailand as the deputy director of the Department of Pediatric Medicine, and he cherished this opportunity, and his wife encouraged him to go, because he could get two salaries at home and abroad.
It was in the two years since he went abroad that his son's study mentality has repeatedly had problems. In 1990, Jin Xiaoyu gave up taking the college entrance examination. Not long after, I wanted to continue my studies, and after a year of re-study, I was admitted to the Department of Foreign Languages of Hangzhou University, but because there was a record of missing classes in the archives, I was not admitted and transferred to Zhejiang Shuren College to study international trade. After just half a semester of study, he did not adapt to the school environment, had a seizure, and after getting drunk, ran to the school teacher's car and jumped around, was taken to the hospital, and soon dropped out of school at home.
In a foreign country, Jin SexYong remembers Jin Xiaoyu the most, for which he once mailed a postcard to encourage his son to "fight":
Remember my words, go and fight... The world is as short as a spring dream, the father and son love is like silk, never think about hard work, and entrust everything to the child's life. Fortunately, I met the second son and the first, and when I had a turnaround, the next year the family was reunited, and the joy of heaven was determined.
"I didn't feel anything," Jin Xiaoyu recalled, "and I put it aside after reading it." ”
At this time, the eldest son, Jin Xiaotian, had just graduated from the Mathematics Department of Fudan University and was admitted to work in a bank, basically without his parents worrying. Jin Xiaoyu said to his father, you love your brother and sympathize with me. Jin Shengyong listened to the sadness, and he told Jin Xiaoyu, "Because you don't have a good eye, I sympathize with you." You are sick, and I sympathize with you. But you are my son, and I love you. The two add up, more than the older brother. ”
A family of four took a group photo, and the first on the right was provided by Jin Xiaoyu
Slowly, Jin SexYong found that his relationship with his son had changed, "He was not obedient at all, and before he was diagnosed, I told him to do whatever he wanted." What is even more inexplicable is that the son has become less and less talkative, and his smile has become less and less, and as soon as he loses his temper, he smashes the refrigerator and the TV and kicks the door out of the hole.
"Light Birth" and "Retirement"
Jin Xiaoyu did not think about suicide.
After he graduated, Cao Meizao enrolled him in the self-examination course of the English Department of Zhejiang University, and then asked the relationship to find a job in the bookstore for him.
In Jin Xiaoyu's account, those days were difficult. He had no opinion at the time, listened to his parents' arrangements, became a counter salesman, was responsible for helping customers find books and cashiers, and needed to communicate with people, but his personality was not good at communicating with people. The money he earned, all turned over to his family, began to feel that the work was very boring, "the brain is crazy, the spirit may be wrong." ”
He felt he couldn't continue working, but his mother found him another bookstore job. Jin Xiaoyu recalled, "I don't go to work, my mother is determined not to do it, and when she dies, she has to go out and go to work." ”
That day, Jin Sexyong heard a thudding sound, ran over, saw his son sitting on the ground, and learned that his son was going to tie the belt to the window to live lightly, fortunately, the belt was not fastened and broken. Previously, when Jin Sexyong was in Thailand, Xiaoyu also had a light birth, swallowed a large number of sleeping pills, fell to the ground uncomfortably, and was later found by his mother and sent to the hospital for gastric lavage.
Jin Xiaoyu said that after the second light birth, his father decided to "raise him at home", and his mother could not take care of it, so he began to read books at home and teach himself languages.
In order to take into account their son and earn extra money, Jin Andyong and his wife have successively "retired" from their original units, and the advantage of this choice is that they nominally retire early, but they can get paid as usual. Since then, Cao Meizao has gone to the stock exchange every day to speculate in stocks, while Jin Zhiyong has hired engineers to do new drug development in small factories, working flexibly and freely, and convenient for taking care of his son.
Zhang Lanfen is a good friend of Cao Meizao, and she remembers that Cao's mood has not been very good during that time, and she has specially rushed from Suzhou to Hangzhou to visit, but every time Cao said to her, "My young son is afraid of seeing people." Every time the two met, they were in the hotel, and she rarely went to Cao's house once, only to see Jin Xiaoyu's back.
At a similar time, Zhang Lanfen learned from Cao that her eldest son, Jin Xiaotian, did not say goodbye and went abroad to Australia, without hearing from her.
In the eyes of parents, the broken and unspeakable life is unprecedentedly free for his son Jin Xiaoyu. "From that time on, I felt a little bit happier in life," he said, "and no one cares about me, I can do whatever I want." ”
However, this time he faced new pressures. In order to prove that he can support himself, he still pays attention to job advertisements in the newspaper, and has gone out four times to find a job, going to a printing house, a web design company, a travel company, but he did not stay because of mental and ability problems. The farthest time, he was out of spirits, and he ran to Hengdian alone to find a job in English, after he heard that his mother's college classmates were in this company, at that time he could speak English and Japanese, passed the interview, but was still taken home by his father.
During that time, his parents also found some papers in medicine and paint for him to translate, and he was very willing to do it, but he worked very little, he could only translate about 10,000 words a year, and when he was less, he could only earn 600 yuan.
At the time, he thought it would be worth translating a book in his lifetime.
Translation and Disease
Years later, in Jin Xiaoyu's world, translation became the most important thing, so the computer was one of his most cherished things. He is frugal, often does not turn on the air conditioner in summer, but is worried that the computer will burn and break, and every time the translation air conditioner is turned on; When not translating, he worries that if the ash falls, the computer and the host computer will be covered with a piece of floral white cloth; My father also found that he never touched the computer every time he fell ill.
His first book he translated was "Ship Fever," an opportunity his mother had bought for him. In 2010, Cao Meizao went to Nanjing University to participate in the alumni association, and his old classmates learned that Jin Xiaoyu had done some translation work and brought him to Nanjing University Press.
Soon, the publisher sent a collection of novels. Jin Sex Yong remembered clearly, originally the publishing house only wanted Jin Xiaoyu to translate a chapter to try, but his son got the book and began to close the door to translate, in addition to eating, going to the toilet rarely went out, it took only two or three months to complete the translation of the whole book, "basically do not need to look up the dictionary to turn it out." ”
Jin Xiaoyu was at the desk where he was translating, and the room was dimly lit
However, after the delivery of the manuscript, the book was delayed in publication, and Jin Xiaoyu spent a very anxious year, and he fell back into the crisis of "incompetence". His father's diary recorded his state at that time - after being discharged from the hospital, he did not eat two meals in a row, and refused to take medicine; Stay up late to play computer games; Until he saw that he took the medicine, "finally passed a level" and "everyone went to sleep safely and without incident".
Jin Xiaoyu's third translation of "The Business of Hip Hop" dragged on for a long time from translation to publication, and at the worst time, he did not eat for several days, destroyed the gastrointestinal mucosa, and even wanted to die.
Encountering books that are difficult to translate also makes him miserable.
By far, the book he found most difficult to translate was The Good Soldier. This is a masterpiece written by the British writer Ford in the early twentieth century, and he fell into a labyrinth of strange words as soon as he read the second paragraph. So he decided to pick out the words one by one, and before he could finish copying them, he was hospitalized.
He could not grasp the law of the appearance of disease, so in his translation schedule, there were no weekends or holidays, and he "played with his life" to translate until he was exhausted and hospitalized, and completely put down the translation. This made him feel relaxed, "in the hospital is equal to rest." ”
Jin Xiaoyu recorded his translation time and hospital stay Provided by the interviewee
In contrast, simple books, he translates in a month or two, but as soon as he makes a mistake, he will immediately put into the next book, leaving no rest time to prevent physical conditions. If he can't wait for a new book, he will learn a new foreign language.
Bipolar disorder is fierce and could deprive him of a normal life at any time. Jin Xiaoyu always walked on thin ice, "In the process of translation, I pray for simplicity; In the process of proofreading, I pray for a little smoother; If I don't translate, I pray for peace in my studies. ”
This point, in Jin Sexyong's memory, also formed a law, the son is prone to illness when he finishes translating the book at hand and cannot pick up the next book. Translation became the fulcrum of the order of his life.
But Jin Xiaoyu's own interpretation is "mixed days", and he plans to translate the best number of books every year from birth to death. Although he was middle-aged when he began translating, he thought that he could still catch up with two or three copies a year. When I reached the age of 60, my eyes were out of place, and I slowed down to one book a year.
Crisis and trek
The more pressing crisis is that Jin Xiaoyu worries that if his parents are not in good health, no one will take care of themselves, and his life will not be guaranteed, and he will not be able to continue translating. As a result, he was in a greater hurry to catch up.
Since her mother fell ill in 2018, Jin Xiaoyu's sense of crisis has become even stronger. Before that, Cao Meizao underwent heart bypass surgery, and then diagnosed Alzheimer's disease, until she fell and could only stay in bed, and her physical condition was getting worse and worse.
He began to buy vegetables, wash dishes, and fulfill the duties of a son. But this is not only to take care of the mother, but also to cultivate their own ability to live independently. In order to make the three meals regular, he recorded what he ate in the calendar book every day, one for six years, "to prevent me from being alone when the time comes." ”
Many of Jin Xiaoyu's translations were in collaboration with publisher Yang Quanqiang. In Yang Quanqiang's eyes, Jin Xiaoyu's delivery speed is very fast, "In the publishing industry, most of them encounter drag, and he always delivers the manuscript in advance, faster than other translators." ”
As a veteran publisher, Yang Quanqiang had an expectation more than a decade ago, that is, to translate BenJamin's collection of essays, "The Arcade Project". He introduced that the book involves German, French, English multi-Chinese and knowledge background, the English version has 900 pages, the volume and difficulty are very large. He handed over the translation of the book to Jin Xiaoyu, "First of all, the quality is guaranteed, and secondly, the time is guaranteed." It may take 5 years to find someone else, and Xiaoyu may be able to come up with the first draft within 2 years. ”
In Jin Xiaoyu's view, the joy of translation lies in gaining new knowledge through reading. It is rare for a father to witness a moment of his son's happiness. While translating "The Dog Son-in-Law Comes to the Door", he heard his son laughing in the kitchen "haha" in the room. In this family, laughter is a scarce commodity. When his son came out of the room, he asked and realized that his son had just watched a sumo wrestling match.
Jin Also Noticed his son's feedback in the unexpected world, his translation was on the shelves of the library, and he would tell his father; The online translation score was high, and I also told my father. What impressed Jin Sex Yong the most was the book "Andrey Tarkovsky: Elements of Cinema", a reader originally thought that Jin Xiaoyu had translated incorrectly, and then deliberately bought the original book to compare, found that Jin Xiaoyu translated better than the original, corrected the evaluation, "I feel that he is very happy." ”
Yang Quanqiang commented on Jin Xiaoyu's translation standards, "Some translations I have to spend 10 times as long to deal with, but there is no problem with the normal editing of his translations, he is a more professional translator." ”
Jin Xiaoyu has translated 22 books and published 12, all in boxes
But Jin Xiaoyu believes that there is an element of luck in being able to produce so many books, "The remuneration for translating manuscripts is not high, and it is impossible to evaluate the title, others are reluctant to do this line, in fact, many books are not translated by others." ”
In addition to translating medical and chemical materials in his early years, Jin Xiaoyu never let his father participate in the editing of translations. This is the only freedom that Jin Xiaoyu can control. In the past life, his parents "arranged substitutions" for his life, full of constraints: his father was angry because he skipped class to play Go, and tore up his beloved Go book; His mother transferred him three times on her own initiative, and before transferring, she was afraid that he would go out and be naughty, and locked him at home.
The father is now more like a son's assistant, helping to run the postal service to receive foreign samples, translate and print the samples, and send sample books. For nearly a decade, Jin Shengyong pretended to be his son and docked with the editor of the publishing house. Yang Quanqiang sometimes couldn't tell who was talking to him, "They are two-in-one, and whoever contacts me is the same, it's all about the communication of the manuscript." ”
Now, Jin Xiaoyu is translating a book about the history and archaeology of Peru. He said that if he had the opportunity, he would like to travel to South America. But thinking about it, he felt that it was not feasible, "This is all whimsical now." "Because as soon as he went out and was affected, his spirit could not be concentrated, he was prone to illness, and he could only stay in the 20-square-meter room."
Estrangement and connection
The days of the initial meeting interview, I was a little nervous. Father and son rarely talk, but it is easy to "wipe the fire".
In the face of his son, this father is always cautious. At the beginning of the meal, Jin Xiaoyu saw that there was an extra pair of chopsticks on the table, and asked in a nonchalant manner, "What do you really want to do?" ”
One time at dinner, Jin Shengyong got up and prepared to make egg fried rice. Jin Xiaoyu asked a question from the side, and as soon as he heard it, he knew that his son was not happy, promised not to fry rice, turned around and went into the kitchen, or took up the pot.
"Don't follow me, okay?" Father pleaded.
"Are you still insisting on scrambled eggs (rice)?"
The father turned back, impatient, and asked, "Let me be a little free, okay?" ”
In the end, my father gave up his favorite egg fried rice.
In this family, it is often possible to witness the helplessness of a father to take care of his son. The situation is sometimes more serious. A long time ago, Jin Xiaoyu had a seizure and took up the enemy fear and sprayed at his father. He couldn't help it, he stood and let his son spray, and when his son finished spraying, he went to take a bath.
"I am his father, but also a punching bag," every time his son was angry, Jin Zhiyong would not theorize right or wrong, "he is happy, I am happy immediately." ”
He knew best in his heart that his son's illness needed to keep his heart calm. So he reminded himself: don't kill him, don't scold him, and don't beat him.
But this is only a kind of conflict, and sometimes you can see Jin Xiaoyu's helplessness and helplessness when arguing with his father.
On July 16, early in the morning, Jin Sex-yong did not eat breakfast and was ready to go out for a physical examination, but Jin Xiaoyu found that his father had sold his old books and began to be angry with his father.
He put a box of old items on the balcony outside the door and deliberately asked his father, "Why did you throw it here?" These things are useless to me, what a mess of heaters is all gone. ”
Jin Shengyong stood in front of the door on crutches: "What do you tell me to do?" ”
"What about my stuff?" Jin Xiaoyu asked.
Jin Sex Yong locked the door and prepared to go to the place of physical examination. Jin Xiaoyu on the side had no intention of backing down, he followed his father closely, as if he had to ask for an explanation, and threatened to open the door in a broken voice: "I don't care if I lose my things, I will tear up all the money in the house for you." ”
"This is not a normal person's words." Father said harsh words.
"You're normal," Jin Xiaoyu became even angrier, "you got all my stuff off." ”
The two men froze for about twenty minutes, Jin Shengyong could not stand, sat down on the chair in the pavilion, Jin Xiaoyu suddenly walked away. After that, Jin Sexyong was worried that his son was going to fall ill and contacted the police at the police station. He packed up the hospital toiletries for his son and sat for a long time, looking solemn. The time for the medical examination was almost over, and he got up and went out again.
Jin Shengyong packed up his son's medical records and IDENTITY cards and prepared to send him to the hospital
When he was about to arrive at the physical examination center, Jin Xiaoyu suddenly appeared next to his father, looking like he had returned to calm, he hugged his father, helped find the department, took breakfast...
But when he returned home after the medical examination, he saw his father's luggage on the chair, suddenly became angry again, and began to call 120, saying that his father was going to send him to a mental hospital. Half an hour later, the police and community workers took him to the hospital.
After about two hours, Jin Xiaoyu called his father and said that he had calmed down and was taken home again.
Zhang Jian is the police officer who sends Jin Xiaoyu to the doctor the most. He said that father and son often had conflicts over a small matter, and sometimes Jin Xiaoyu fell ill because of quarrels with his father.
Two days later, Jin Xiaoyu and I talked about the previous conflict and asked him why he was angry? He explained that the old books he sold were his high school Go books and self-examination books, which he cherished, "I have read such a few books in my life, and he has also disposed of them for me..."
Jin Xiaoyu was very helpless that he could not always control his temper, he guessed that it might be because of heredity, or it could be habit. He remembered that his father would also be angry at home and scold him for no reason. The deepest traumatic memory is that when he was in the first and second grades of elementary school, his father taught him to write the word "many", and he could not make this word stand up. As a result, with a snap, the father slapped down, and his front teeth were knocked out.
As for the quarrel with his father two days ago, he suddenly ran away, fearing that he would hurt his father. For the same reason, in the past two or three years, Jin Xiaoyu has taken the initiative to call 120 for medical treatment. This time he arrived at the hospital and came back quickly, because he thought that he had been hospitalized before, his mother had left, and he was afraid that he would never see his father again, so he hurried out again.
Jin Sexyong said that before his son fell ill, he had a bad temper and the majesty of a parent, and the child must listen to himself and not listen to unhappiness. But after his son fell ill, he realized that he could not change his child's temper, and could only change himself first, "He is the father, I am the son, so it is still not OKAY." ”
In Zhang Jian's eyes, Jin Sex Yong doted on his son, and sometimes Jin Xiaoyu did not tell the police when he was sick. At the most difficult time, Jin Sexyong took care of his wife who was paralyzed in bed and took care of his sick son at the same time, but he was still reluctant to send his son to the hospital to suffer. Every time Jin Sex Yong said to Zhang Jian, "We can take care of him, the three of us want to be together."
Similar words, Jin Xiaoyu expressed in his memoirs about his mother, "Mother, father and I are three people, trinity."
I asked him, what is the power that binds the three of you?
"Need each other."
Jin Xiaoyu said that originally a person is a complete wooden barrel, but he only has a long board, that is, shrinking at home and studying desperately, and this board relies on his parents to play its role - if it is not surrounded by parents, the water in the barrel will not accumulate at all.
The final chess piece
Before the media reported, few people around knew that Jin Xiaoyu was translating at home. To the door neighbor Aaron said that the family is "silent", going out is relatively rare to say hello, only Jin Xiaoyu will be sick and sent to the hospital. Last November, he accidentally found a wreath on the usually closed front door, only to learn that Cao Meizao had passed away.
Jin Sexyong said that after his wife left, although he was heartbroken, he felt relieved, and his wife walked in front of him and did not have to worry about the trouble of taking care of his son. The bad point is that before the two people had a retirement salary of five thousand yuan a month, now the wife's part is gone, and the money left for the son is also less.
At the end of January this year, Jin Sexyong signed a body donation agreement, he did not want to leave himself, in the aftermath of the handling of trouble for his son, "he is alone, people come to help me collect, I got there, do not change the clothes, just take it." ”
I asked, does Xiaoyu know, what does he think?
"Xiaoyu will know later, and he will know after I am gone," Jin Repeated, "I discussed with him, he didn't let me do it, I said I decided." His general words respected my opinion. ”
As a father, The first Jin Zhiyong helped his son translate, just wanting him to "have food to eat". Now his biggest worry is, after he leaves, where will his son live? Who sends me to the hospital at the time of illness? Who will pick you up when you leave the hospital?
Since the thirty years since his son was diagnosed, every time he became ill, Jin Zhiyong sent him to the hospital and then took him home. In the hospital, my son would call every week, "Dad, when are you going to pick me up?" "He hurts his son.
When crossing the street, Jin Xiaoyu will take the initiative to help his father
In my father's mind, whether it is a hospital or a disability care center, home are two different things. He didn't want his son to live outside. Therefore, he finally had a wish, hoping that someone would take care of his son in life, help him do something when he was resting, and leave time for his son to be a translator.
In the past few months, Jin Xiaoyu has received two love letters, one from a divorced single mother; The other was written by a father for his daughter with epilepsy. Jin Xiaoyu tried to contact the other party, the former said that his confession was a misunderstanding, and the latter broke off contact because neither of them took the initiative.
For him, it is no longer a matter of love to find a partner, but a question of care, "Don't take my house and money away... If you divorce again in the future, you will be in trouble."
He rarely had moments of emotional excitement. The earliest memories of love were kindergarten classmates, and the two mothers would joke that when they grew up, the two became relatives. Later, after graduating, he worked in a bookstore, a clerk was beautiful and capable, he was moved, but he felt that he was "unworthy" and did not dare to take the initiative. In the years that followed, his mother advised him to start a business before starting a family, and he never thought about it again.
When he was 40 years old, Jin Xiaoyu finished translating 10 books, and his parents arranged for him to go on a blind date for the first time. The other person is divorced, the same age as him. I came to the house once, took two translations, and then didn't contact him again.
Jin Xiaoyu believes that he has no experience in talking about feelings, and does not know who he can trust, as long as he is reliable, "anyway, he can make it up."
If he can't wait for his son to start a family, Jin Sexyong can only send his son to the disabled care center with a fierce heart, "I am powerless, and I only thought of this move when I walked." ”
Senior Editor of this issue Zhou Yuhua