Regarding love, I hope to "work together and grow old with white heads".
But in the adult world, doubt, speculation, betrayal, and temptation are also real obstacles to marriage.
We believe that the feelings of the sea are rotten and rotten, and they will also face the test of the outside world. That also includes cheating.
For feelings, some people are loyal, and there are always people who are apes.
So, who is more likely to change their minds in their relationships?
Such people tend to have three characteristics from a behavioral and cognitive point of view.
01
Likes ambiguity
It is also said that ambiguity refers to the state in which lovers are not yet satisfied on the basis of friends.
Indeed, two people who have not established a definite relationship, who are tempted by each other, who are jealous of each other, who are emotionally indifferent, and who are beautiful when they meet love, are perfectly beautiful.
But for people with partners, the habit of enjoying ambiguous relationships is the seed of infidelity.
I've seen women "crying" online.
She said her husband likes to play games after work, especially with girls, chatting with them, making love, and occasionally buying milk tea. The woman was very angry when she saw it, quarreled with her husband, and asked to delete the game, but was lashed out by the other party.
The husband said, "You don't like games. Can't I play any games with other people? Moreover, we are ordinary friends. I've never met. Just talk and play games. How do you manage it so wide? ”
Is it really this wife who thinks too much and manages too much?
You know, when we really love someone, we can completely block the vague information of the outside world, will not take the initiative to tease the opposite sex, and will not communicate frequently.
However, if there are other ambiguous relationships in the marriage, the light is the undeserved heartbeat, and the depth is the precursor to spiritual infidelity.
When we firmly love a person, it is difficult to let go of other people in our hearts, we will not establish ambiguous relationships, and we will not leave a way out and find a spare tire in our feelings.
On the contrary, people who are married but keen to play ambiguous games can only show that their feelings for their partner are not firm and lack spiritual loyalty.
02
Lack of proportions
"Is there pure friendship between the opposite sex? ”
The topic has always been very hot on the Internet.
I think the pure friendship between men and women has to do with boundaries. Friends of the opposite sex get along, and the sense of proportion is particularly important, but if you get too close, you are crossing the line.
Xiao Zhang's husband is a typical "good old man", who is well-liked in the company and has many female friends.
One of the female colleagues was his former sister, and the two had particularly frequent exchanges.
The female colleague was late for overtime and asked Xiao Zhang's husband to send her home; Sometimes I feel uncomfortable and talk to him; Even such a small matter as buying medicine will listen to his opinion.
Xiao Zhang said that her husband is usually very good to himself, but he is also very good to this female friend, and almost all of them are asked.
Although her husband and female colleagues never talk about their feelings, such interactions make her feel uncomfortable.
Whenever she quarreled with her husband over these things, the other party always said with dissatisfaction. "I'm helping you. She was a girl, working outside alone. I'm always embarrassed not to help. ”
In fact, I don't think Xiao Zhang's husband is really "wronged". He failed to deal with the "friendship relationship" with female colleagues, and mistakenly changed the three words "indiscriminate".
He not only cares for Xiao Zhang, but also responds to other people's needs; Not only gave Xiao Zhang gentle care, but also gave care to others. There's a saying that goes something like this:
"If what you give me is the same as what you give to others, I don't want it." ”
In the final analysis, the biggest feature of love is that it is exclusive. It's the exception, it's the preference, it's me who treats you and it's not the same with everyone else.
On the contrary, even the strongest love is not uncommon.
So, there's some communication. It is specifically aimed at couples.
There is some help. If you shouldn't help, don't help.
Between the opposite sex, once the boundary is crossed, the friendship is easy to deteriorate, unconsciously becoming love, shaking the existing marriage.
03
Weak sense of morality
One of the differences between humans and animals is whether they are bound by a sense of morality.
I remember that in the "Talk Show Conference", Yang Meng'en said such a passage after proposing to his girlfriend.
He said:
"The reason why I want to say it on this stage, not because it's romantic or special, is because I believe in a saying, that there are no naturally good people in this world, only civilized people who are bound." 」
Some netizens commented that Yang Meng'en's marriage proposal in public will be seen by the audience, which means that he is willing to be supervised by society and willing to become a constrained civilized person for the sake of his other half.
However, in life, there are also some people who do not have a strong sense of right and wrong and morality, think that sex and love, desire and like, are two completely different things, and do not think that cheating is an unforgivable mistake.
Such people often do not have a single view of feelings and lack the ability to self-discipline.
They always put their own needs first, do not care about the feelings of others, lack empathy for the other half, and in daily life, give less and take more, hurt others without knowing it.
At the end of the day, they are selfish.
Living with such a person, there are many hidden dangers.
Because in the relationship, they are more concerned about their own interests and feelings, and because of the lack of empathy and moral sense, when tempted, they are more likely to waver.
In love, the reason why we are moved by sentences such as "weak water three thousand, only take a scoop" is that we recognize and yearn for single-minded, determined feelings.
Compared with the electric flint of encounters, the loyalty of each other is more precious.
If you have a couple or married friends, remember: don't play ambiguous with the opposite sex, remember to maintain a sense of proportion, and use morality to guard your bottom line.
Life is long, it is not easy to meet someone you really like, if you do, don't let go easily.
Remember that there are always more beautiful landscapes in the world, but what you already have is the most worth cherishing forever.