In the winter of 2018, a woman named Minako Kojima decided to euthanize herself.
At this time, she had come to Switzerland, sitting in a wheelchair, blowing a cold wind, and the bustle of the traffic on the highway was imprinted in front of her eyes, but the biting cold wind reminded her that the world had nothing to do with you, and you had run out of time.
Accompanied by her two sisters, she came to the "Life Cycle" institution in Switzerland to prepare for euthanasia. It took her a lot of effort to find the Swiss institution. Switzerland is also one of the few countries in the world where euthanasia can legally be performed.
After full consideration, Minako Kojima came out of the vicinity of the euthanasia agency on a cold morning on November 28, 2018, and waited on the side of the street. After a while, an SUV off-road vehicle belonging to the life cycle agency stopped beside them.
A male staff member got out of the car, and he helped Minako Kojima's two sisters lift her out of her wheelchair and put her in the back seat of the car that had opened the door, and then handed the wheelchair to the staff and put it in the trunk, they sat in the car and closed the door, and a 30-minute journey began, which was also the last journey in Kojima Minako's life.
The car is driving on a wide and flat asphalt road, and the plants and trees on the side are rapidly receding. Minako Kojima looked at this scene and couldn't help but recall the best memories of her life...
Struggles after illness
At the age of 45, Minako Kojima suddenly felt unwell, and as an elite with high education, she had to run to the hospital for a comprehensive examination.
At first she didn't think it was a big problem. But a few days later, bad news came. The doctor told a test report that Pointed to a test report that Minako Kojima could not understand and told her: With the data in this report, you are suffering from a major disease with an incidence of only a few million, multisystem atrophy.
This disease will only be manifested in the early stage as the patient often falls, the body can not make the strength and other small problems, but in the later stage, the patient will lose all control of the body, the brain will atrophy, and the control of the nerves over the body will be out of balance. Not only can not move, even breathing and eating must rely on the ventilator and gastric tube to complete, the so-called life is better than death refers to such a state.
Minako Kojima was stunned by the sudden blow. But she quickly came back to her senses and asked the doctor if there was any medicine to cure the disease. The doctor shook his head regretfully and said that there are no specific drugs and no other special treatment methods. To survive, you can only endure all the pain, and slowly stand up to death under the support of drugs and nutrients.
But Minako Kojima does not believe that the advanced technology of today's human beings cannot cure a neurological disease. Even if it doesn't work now, then after human beings make breakthroughs in biology and chemistry, they can be cured. So she made up her mind that she must live well, not only for her family, but also for herself. Let yourself wait until the life-saving drugs are developed.
Minako Kojima then told her family, especially her two older sisters. After they received the news, they immediately told Minako Kojima that they should not panic first, we will come to see you and find a way to get through the difficulties together.
After the two sisters arrived in Tokyo, the encouragement and support of their relatives became the biggest motivation for Minako Kojima to continue to survive, and it seems that the disease is not without benefits, at least it makes Minako Kojima feel as if she has returned to her childhood, when the sisters also took care of themselves. It was the best and most unforgettable time of my life.
This kind of spiritual inspiration made Minako Kojima, who knew that she was not far from complete paralysis, start blogging online to record her thoughts and thoughts. As she bloggs, she constantly expresses her memories of ordinary life, her attachment to her past and her hope for her life now.
Later, blogging became a habit, allowing Minako Kojima to confide in her thoughts and fears, and also made her feel that this disease was not so terrible, and she would definitely be able to overcome it! However, this idea is ultimately just a beautiful imagination in the mind of a patient who does not understand medicine. Such a rare serious illness does not divert the target of its own aggression because of human power.
Instead, it is gradually deepening its intrusion. Half a year later, Minako Kojima could barely walk on her own. Her legs had lost strength, and she had to get up, clutching desperately at the railing on the wall with her hands. After getting up, you can only rely on these railings and move step by step.
She maintained her strong will to survive until she was in a wheelchair and did not speak too clearly, and was changed by one thing.
Final despair
It started with a meeting with a doctor.
One day in early 2018, Minako Kojima, accompanied by two older sisters, drove to the hospital for follow-up consultation. The doctor reviewed her condition and told her and her two sisters that they could go to another hospital because Minako Kojima's condition had progressed to the point where she could "proceed to the next stage."
At that time, Minako Kojima didn't understand what this "next stage" meant, she just thought that the doctor had recommended a better hospital than here, and then asked her to go for treatment. So she got in the car again and came to the hospital on a rainy day that didn't look very big.
In the pouring rain, she herself drove a wheelchair to meet with the doctor. But the doctor told her that this was a place dedicated to the final stage of conservative treatment for paralyzed or even unconscious patients. The patients who live here are basically incapacitated, the better ones can express their meaning with gestures and eyes, and the worse situation has even fallen into a deep coma.
There is also a multisystem atrophy patient who is about the same age as her. She is a single mother, now with a ventilator and stomach tube, lying motionless in her hospital bed. Although she is still conscious, she can only communicate with the outside world through some extremely small movements, such as the opening and closing of eyelids and the movement of fingers.
She is also a determined survivor, and in her opinion, the ordinary life with her family is the biggest motivation for her to live.
But in Kojima Minako's view, what is the difference between living and dying? Lying on a hospital bed and not being able to move a day is not only uncomfortable for yourself, but also brings a great burden to your family. After seeing this scene, the pillar of survival in Minako Kojima's heart suddenly collapsed.
Without a word, she maneuvered her wheelchair out of the ward and returned to the car with the help of her sisters. Soon, the vehicle started, and a group of three people returned home. Minako Kojima drove her wheelchair back to bed without a word, and what she saw on this day made her decide that she would never become like that.
Because she has already developed a strong woman personality in the first half of her life, everything is the bottom line.
Minako Kojima was born in Japan in 1966 to a single-parent family. When she was born, her two sisters had grown up and understood things. In their eyes, Minako Kojima is no longer just a sister, but more like their own child. Because their parents divorced, the mother had to work non-stop to support her daughters.
So at home, the responsibility of taking care of Minako Kojima falls on her sisters. They loved this sister very much, always giving her the best and making her laugh. The family background did not affect Minako Kojima's personality, nor did she contract some of the problems that the children of single-parent families are extremely susceptible to, such as inferiority and introversion.
The care and encouragement of her sisters made her more lively and outgoing, and more intelligent and independent. This personality allowed her to focus on learning and developing her own abilities, so she successfully passed her study life from elementary school to high school. At this time, the two sisters were already employed, and the family's economic conditions had long improved.
Their family has a property in Tokyo, which allows Minako Kojima to continue her university studies without worry. With the encouragement of her sisters and mother, she was admitted to Seoul National University in South Korea with honors. Four years later, she graduated and began working as a Korean translator in Japan.
Her profession has made her life worry-free and has allowed her to appear regularly on important occasions. Her rich experience has brought her a different view of life, and decades of struggle have given her everything that an independent woman should have. In the eyes of her sisters, her beloved little sister finally broke out of her own piece of the sky.
They were already a little old and finally relieved. Even if their sister is alone in Tokyo, they are happy about it, and often go to Minako Kojima's house to party together and play and laugh together. The abundance of material conditions and the happiness of the spiritual world made all three people feel that they had no regrets in this life.
In particular, Minako Kojima, after seeing the big world outside, has saved enough wealth, and she feels that she can start the second half of her life. So, at the age of 45, she told her two older sisters that she was going to work in a children's welfare home so that children who had lost both parents could also receive motherly love and create a better future for them.
The sisters agreed with Minako Kojima's idea, and Minako Kojima resigned as a simultaneous translator. Be prepared to transfer all your energy to welfare. But at this critical moment, the disease came to the door.
Now, as her illness worsens, Minako Kojima is in a wheelchair, and what scares her even more is that she will lie in bed in the future, not even having the strength to move her fingers. How can eating and drinking Lasa be done with the help of caregivers and even relatives? Thinking that not only would she not be able to create happiness for her family, but would also be a drag on the rest of their lives, Minako Kojima hated herself immensely, and at this moment, she finally had a bold idea, that is, to end her life.
So, when she got home, she began to become silent, just sitting alone at the computer searching for some way to commit suicide. Although the two sisters soon discovered her abnormality and kept trying to persuade her to start a point, she still began to plan to end her life.
A few days later, while cleaning Up Minako Kojima's room, her sister Sadako found a rope wrapped around a scarf under her pillow. When Sadako took the rope to question her sister, she pretended to be stupid. But later, Minako Kojima, who was becoming more seriously ill, no longer denied the fact that she was preparing to commit suicide.
At first, the two sisters kept advising her to start after learning her thoughts, because they could still support her and let her continue to live, but when they saw Minako Kojima's blog, they gave up continuing to persuade. In her blog, Minako Kojima wrote something like this: "When I crawled around my sister for the first time, I was in pain, and I couldn't even imagine how my sister would feel when she saw me like this. ”
The final journey
Minako Kojima was already reluctant from the bottom of her heart to bother them anymore. Their beloved little sister is no longer the child she remembers, she has grown up, she has her own ideas, and as her sister, they should respect such ideas. So, the sisters agreed to Minako Kojima's request to give up her life.
Minako Kojima also began to look for a way to commit suicide legally. The development of the Internet has allowed her to get what she wants almost effortlessly.
She first bought a book on euthanasia and consulted all the relevant materials. Then I couldn't wait to find the website of a Swiss euthanasia agency and register as a member of the institution, which is the cycle of life. After finding the regular institution, she sent an email in advance to inform the other party of her own situation and demands. Soon, a reply was sent to the mailbox and the Life Cycle Agency approved her application for euthanasia.
On the day the application was approved, Minako Kojima began planning a trip to Switzerland with her two sisters. Because she knew that if she didn't leave again, when her condition became serious later, she wouldn't even have the strength to go abroad.
In this way, Minako Kojima boarded a flight to Northern Europe, and as the plane left the ground, she finally seemed to find a sense of relief in her weightlessness.
Coming to Switzerland, she and her sisters stayed at a hotel. Before euthanasia is officially implemented, a doctor will come to reconfirm her eligibility. This time lasts for two days, which is also the last time left for Minako Kojima.
The next afternoon, Minako Kojima was confirmed to be eligible for euthanasia. Euthanasia is scheduled for the next morning. So on the same night, the three sisters made a final farewell. Dinner that day takes place in the hotel's restaurant, where the three of them substitute water for wine and talk about the interaction between the sisters. The eldest sister, Sadako, cried out before she could finish speaking, and the second sister, Keiko, although forced to be happy, could still feel her sadness from her words.
After the meal, the two sisters pushed their sister all the way back to the room. That night, they kept talking about the first rays of sunlight hitting the hotel windowsills.
At this time, Minako Kojima was in a wheelchair again, and the two sisters immediately resisted the urge to cry and pushed her out of the hotel. The final journey proceeds to the end.
At this moment, under the command of the head of the life cycle agency, Minako Kojima has come to a semi-open ward. There was a hospital bed next to the hospital room, and next to the bed was an infusion rack. That's where life ends. But before she can officially lie down, Minako Kojima still needs to sign several documents.
These documents include the execution of her euthanasia contract with the Life Cycle Agency and the voluntary renunciation of life statement. Euthanasia will only be carried out after she signs these documents. The signing time is up to a quarter of an hour, because the head of the life cycle agency needs to tell the client in detail what it means to sign the document.
After listening to these routine words, Minako Kojima almost did not hesitate to raise her right hand, squeeze her pen, and write her name on the document. After writing, she operated the electric wheelchair herself, came to the bed, and begged the two sisters who were smiling strongly, picked herself up from the wheelchair and laid flat on the bed.
Then she covered herself with a quilt and waited, for the last moment of her life to come. Before the last minute came, she had a few more minutes to talk to her sister and talk. In the final farewell, she smiled and told her two sisters: "I am very grateful that you always come to the hospital to see me, I feel very happy." ”
Then she turned over the photos that her sister handed her, one by one. Looking at herself and her sister in the photo, the corners of her mouth burst into a smile. At this time, she still kept talking to her sisters, perhaps to ease the tension when the last moment came, or maybe to fill her mind with good memories before the last moment came.
But the last time was unexpectedly short, and by the time the two sisters were reluctantly preparing to say goodbye to their sister, the doctor had come over, tied the cable tie to Minako Kojima's forearm, and then inserted the infusion needle into the vein on the back of her hand. Finally, the doctor handed the switch that controlled the infusion to Minako Kojima and told her, "Push this switch and you will die." ”
Minako Kojima repeated the doctor's words and squeezed the switch tightly in her hand. The doctor then stood up, took the bottle of transparent potion handed to her by her subordinate, and poured it into the already opened bottle on the infusion rack. Sunlight shot into the ward through the pure white potion, and Minako Kojima watched the doctor's movements and squeezed the photo in her hand.
Then she once again opened her mouth to the two sisters and said, "These days, thank you!" The sisters also responded to her with tears: "Thank you, little sister! Minako Kojima no longer hesitated when she saw this, and slowly pushed the switch in her hand. Under the force of gravity, the poison that could quickly kill people quickly flowed into her bloodstream.
At this time, she was still talking to her sisters, and the injection of drugs did not seem to cause her any pain, and she smiled and told her sisters: "I didn't expect to let them watch themselves on the road at the end, I am really embarrassed." At this time, the two sisters could not cry, but still responded to the sister: "I'm sorry, it will be comfortable in a while." ”
But before they could say goodbye at the last minute, 4 minutes later, Minako Kojima's voice began to be intermittent, and her last words remained: "I am really happy." After saying this, in the next few seconds, Minako Kojima completely lost her voice. The sisters couldn't help but cry out in pain, and the doctor rushed forward to check Minako Kojima's pupils, heartbeat, and breathing.
Prior to this, Minako Kojima had expressed her willingness to choose to die because she had suffered unbearable pain through video. Now, the video will be handed over to the police along with the body. After police examination, the body will be cremated.
Because Euthanasia is not allowed in Japan, even the remains of those who have died of euthanasia are not allowed to return home. Therefore, after Minako Kojima's body was cremated, some of the ashes left by her family could only be scattered into the streams of Switzerland, and her soul would never be able to return to Japan. On this trip to Switzerland, there were three people when they came, and there were only two figures left when they returned.
The following spring, when the cherry blossoms in Tokyo, Japan, were in full bloom again, only Sadako and Keiko drove to the wild to enjoy the flowers. On a grassy field, they spread out a blue plaid picnic cloth. Sitting on the napkin and eating the rice balls, their thoughts drifted back to the past...