Author: Zhao Xiaoming Editor's Layout: Deng Li Cui Guanli
Xiaoming Quotes:
What is not lacking in the world is reasons and excuses, and what is most cherished in this world is self-persistence under the bombardment of reasons and excuses.
Undertaking the above: Zhao Xiaoming: Repeat reading in the third year of high school, parents do three things to change their children's lives
We continue to discuss with parents the companionship of senior year repetition.
redefine
Let the child think from the perspective of adult maturity, rather than passively thinking that I am a repeat student. When we think about this word, there is a phenomenon of language cutting. Language cuts out different worlds, especially the three words "repeat student", which is equivalent to a definition and a name.
Imagine if a person were to give himself a name: I am a repeat student of the third year of high school, then it means that he will look at all this with the idea of a "repeat student of high school".
Even, some high school repeat students will use the harmonic "poison student" to describe themselves, the psychological feelings behind these words, in fact, we need to pay attention.
If you look at all this with this feeling, what will you get? Probably he would look at all this with the mentality of a senior in high school.
This will inevitably bring some unfavorable effects on myself to mental adjustment, may bring more pressure, will feel that I am a repeat student, so I have no way back, what must be done!
I am a repeat student, I am different from others; I was a repeat student, I was different from my classmates who went to college, and so on, and so on, all of which came from the definition he had given himself.
Therefore, if parents have the ability, they can try to discuss the word "repeat student" with their children, and discuss with their children how he views the word "repeat student", how to get rid of the influence of the word "repeat student" on the child, and how to give himself a new definition.
A better definition is:
I've passed eighteen, and I'm the same and complete as many high school students. I've lived in high school for three years, and although it's the fourth year for me now, it's different from my past life because I'm an adult doing something that an adult is going to do.
When you use a new perspective and a new name to define your year, you will find that once the language defines itself, the mentality will change, and the world you see will be different.
Of course, it is not necessary for children to define it this way, but they can also define it themselves and discuss it with parents to come up with a definition. Regarding the repetition of the third year of high school, what should be done in itself is to redefine and explain one's identity.
Perspective changes
Then redefine and explain the life of the third year of high school, and then after these redefine and reinterpret the life of this year, let him write on the paper: How do I want to spend this year? Such a topic.
When he is able to maturely think about "how I spent my life", perhaps this way of thinking is good for him to write essays for the exam, because his perspective has changed. Therefore, there are many jobs that parents can do, and the premise of doing it is to first change the child's destiny and definition and mentality.
Parents themselves should also change, starting with the definition and naming change of "repeat student". After this definition and naming change, I will re-interpret how I lived my life this year, and after reading it, write down my feelings and plans.
When these states are done, some other things can be done.
Many parents want to do things in their hearts there is an answer: I think how to better accompany the child to reduce stress, or find some experienced other people to help him, etc., these things can be done, the premise of doing is to change the mentality first.
When the mentality is changed, the senior students use an adult perspective to look at themselves and look at their own senior year of life, at which time parents discuss with their children: "I know some people with authority and better learning skills, they have information about review, I provide it to you, do you need it?" ”
When parents say these words again, children will not get bored. Children will feel like I'm an adult and when I need help, I'm happy to get help from other people.
But when I'm a passive character, frustrated, failed, discouraged, I understand when someone else gives me help that someone else has done me some little harm.
Sometimes parents give too much help here and make the child feel that "you have no confidence in me", "you don't trust me enough" and other ideas, and then the child will have a rebellious psychology and will push the person who helps away.
Are you helping an adult who thinks independently, or is you helping a child who thinks you're a repeat student? The change of perspective is the key factor in determining whether parental help is effective and valuable.
Meaning inspired
Parents can also discuss with their children during the process: If you don't need much of our help, me and your dad (or your mom) what we want to do this year.
You can tell your child about some of your plans, such as planning to go out on a trip, what to do at work, or what the parents want to do, or the family's plans, and so on.
The reason why I tell my child about these plans is to make him understand that these things are things that we have always wanted to do, and it has nothing to do with whether you are a repeat student, this is a plan of our family, lest the child sometimes have new explanations because of some of your practices.
He might think of some things as a stress. For example, mom and dad originally planned to travel, but they didn't go, at this time they may feel stressed and anxious.
When parents tell their children about their family plans, it means giving them a different perspective on how they can understand the family and his relationship, so that he understands that he is now an adult and that parents have their own lives to live.
At the same time, parents should tell him: we are not abandoning you and letting go of you, but we will appear when you need help, and when you don't need help, we will live our own lives, so that the child feels relaxed and happy.
The last thing that needs to be done is to inspire the child to think about what this thing means to him, which will become a wealth.
It is difficult in life to assess whether a person ultimately succeeds or fails based on what they are doing in front of them. The only thing a person can do in a lifetime is to think about something that is happening in front of us, what does it mean to us?
Whether we can transform this thing into something that can produce positive thinking, positive results, and positive results for us is what we can do.
Because no one can assess the impact of what is happening now on the future success or failure, the only thing that can be done is how to transform it into an empirical, beneficial value, or into a burden and bondage of life, which requires the individual to reinterpret all this.
Xiaoming Quotes:
We may never know what the ultimate meaning of life is, so each of us must try all kinds of possibilities to live! Find yourself in the most comfortable state.
Original public account: Heart Partner (ID: xhbeap)