Hello everyone, I am a family education instructor caring.
Friends often worry about their son Xiao Bo's affairs, especially when they encounter a little thing, they get angry, and their friends really have a headache! Originally, I also thought that as long as I worried about the child's learning situation, I did not expect that the child had a big temper and often had conflicts with his classmates, and the teacher had to adjust the child to the last row. I can't sleep well for a few days, I have a toothache on the fire, which is particularly uncomfortable, and what is even more uncomfortable is that the child's grades are not good, and the temper is not good, what to do?
Why does the child form a personality that gets angry when things happen and loses his temper with his family?
First, the excessive coddling of the elders.
When the child was a child, for a while, friends often traveled on business, so they had to let the children take with them. Grandma changed the pattern to make food, and when Grandpa took him out, the child wanted something, and Grandpa bought it. When the child is about to go to school, my friend's job has changed and he does not have to travel. Only to take the child back to the side, only to find that the child's temper has become bigger, do not meet his requirements, began to complain, and even angry!
Second, the child's friend personality is also anxious
When the good friend's son Xiao Bo was around his grandfather, he made a good friend in the community, the child was very anxious, and he would also lose his temper with the family, the two children often played together, and sometimes they would go to the good friend's house to play, and when they saw the way each other talked to their families, they naturally learned. When I was around the elderly, I didn't let the child change.
Third, the child does not master the correct way of expression
When children don't learn to express their feelings, they will constantly try new methods. When the child finds that the parents do not care what they want to say, when they lose their temper, they can let the parents agree with their own ideas, and they will continue to use the same way to deal with the problem.
What is the gap between the baby who "gets angry when things happen" from childhood and the child who can calmly face the problem, after growing up?
First, life's circumstances will be different.
In the process of learning, when you meet children who can think calmly, you can get more ways to answer them, and you can also find friends or teachers with doubts to help. And children who are angry when things happen will only make the people around them feel annoyed, no one will be willing to help him answer, the popularity is not good, and it is difficult to grow.
Second, career development will be different.
The person who can really become a leader is not super capable, but strong in handling interpersonal relationships. Children who get angry when things go wrong, it is difficult to get a promotion opportunity. No leader dares to do management with a, often complaining, emotionally unstable employee.
Children who can calmly solve problems and do not get angry will have a chance to get promoted more easily. People who are good at solving unexpected situations, can communicate well with subordinates, have high emotional intelligence, and are emotionally stable are more likely to be promoted.
Finally, family happiness is different.
People who use anger to deal with problems, when they grow up, when they solve family conflicts, they will also directly use tantrums to express, when no one can stand his fiery temper, the quarrels in the family are continuous, where is happiness to speak of? The happiness index is zero.
People who can calmly solve problems without getting angry can easily resolve the antagonisms in the family, and also let the people around them experience warmth and happiness, naturally his family can also be more harmonious, and the family happiness index is definitely high!
How can parents help their children get rid of their bad temper?
When parents find that their children are emotionally unstable, they can do several things to help their children get rid of their bad temper!
First, use the method of play to teach children the correct way of expression.
Shure, a doctor of psychology in the United States, believes that children can practice words that can express ideas frequently in order to develop the correct way of expression.
For example, suppose the child has a conflict with a classmate, at this time, ask the child, what is your mood? Let the child practice and speak out their feelings and moods. When you see children crying, let the child talk about it, what do you think the child who is crying thinks? Is it sad? Aggrieved? Painful? Or regret it? In the game, suppose the child wants to play, but is called by the mother to help get something, what kind of mood is it?
Through the practice in the game, the child can understand when it is uncomfortable and when it is painful, find the appropriate words, the child will master the correct expression method, and will not use tantrums to solve the problem.
Second, agree on a good method of emotional suspension.
Psychologist Nelson proposed that when the child is emotionally unstable, positive pauses can be used to adjust the child's inner irritability and uneasiness. At home, let the child set up a "pause corner".
When the child finds that he is in a bad mood, he first relaxes in the "pause corner", and when the mood is calm, he returns to the family and tells his thoughts to produce good results. Let the child understand that resting in the "pause corner" is not a punishment, and when the mood is not good, give the child the space and time to restore the mood, so that the child can gradually master the ability to control emotions.
Third, don't be reasonable when your child loses his temper.
Friends are often willing to make a big deal out of their children's tantrums! When they are in emotional instability, they are more likely to have contradictions and cause tension in the family atmosphere. Moreover, it does not help to solve the problem of the child's tantrum.
After the child calms down, then guide the child to find a way to solve it together, try to express it in another way, and only let the child grow, which is the beginning of education.
When there is a deviation in the child's personality and behavior, it is possible to calm down and think of a way to help the child correct the bad problems, so as to help him become an excellent person, achieve a brilliant career, and have a happy family.