Good children are easy to bring, parents like, relatives and friends like, teachers and classmates like, but has anyone asked: "Good child her own feelings?" ”
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And many parents around me said, "I like other people's children to be obedient and obedient, in fact, their children still hope not to be too obedient, if they will not refuse, seek perfection in case of trouble, and go against the grain, they will grow up easy to be PUA, and they will certainly not be happy." Suddenly felt a sense of contradictory experience, like and worried and afraid
I am the "good boy." Since childhood, I have been told by my parents and relatives and friends that I am a well-behaved and obedient child, but it is not until adulthood that I find that I am deformed when expressing opinions, emotions and needs, and I often make the other party feel better to avoid getting bad evaluations from others. "Obedience" has become a label and a shackle.
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This obedience makes me often have to give up "what should be my own interests" only for others not to be angry;
This obedience makes me often have to habitually give in to get other people's "good guy card";
This obedience has allowed me to develop freely and distort into cowardice and timidity, not daring to ask for it, not daring to say that I cannot say;
I'm not happy, my heart is tormented!
Yes, if parents know that these results will not be accepted and proud, especially for a sensitive child, how important it is for parents to be aware, guided and taught by !️ example!
Maybe as a child:
When a child wants a piece of sugar, parents don't say, "You're the boss and you want to let your brother."
When a child doesn't want to wear a piece of clothing, the parents don't say, "You're angry with your mother."
When children fight with others and are wronged, parents will not say, "How can people beat you without hitting others?"
Obviously, children will say from an early age, "I don't, I don't, I don't!" "Because rejection is an instinct, hiding feelings to cater to others is a higher acquired skill."
Childhood is only once, a good childhood heals a lifetime, and a bad childhood heals with a lifetime. All your current predicaments will be traced back to your subconscious mind and closely linked to your childhood.
Parents need to teach their children to respect themselves and not to cater to others, and to understand that others are not self-centered. Because of obedience and upbringing, there is an essential difference between seeking perfection and not being humble, and it also comes from the awareness, guidance and teaching of parents.
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May all mothers in the world lead by example and take responsibility:
Be a mother who cherishes time and climbs the stairs;
Raise a child who has love in his heart and is born to the sun.