At a recent family reunion, my cousin told me that she had attended a class reunion the other day and had noticed a very strange phenomenon.
She said that when she attended the alumni association, she found that the classmates who were popular in the past were not as successful and successful as they thought after they went to society. On the contrary, those students who seem to be unsociable, do not like to talk, and have a general popularity are very prominent.
So my cousin asked me doubtfully: "Why don't you want to be a child with more potential?" ”
In fact, the cousin can understand such a question, because in the eyes of most people, the gregarious children tend to be more lively and have better social skills, so they will have better popularity after they go to society. But through observation, it turns out that this is not the case.
When a group of children play together and their own children play alone, every parent's heart is uncomfortable. As everyone knows, those children who do not fit in with the community have more potential to have a career. There are 3 reasons for this:
1. Children who do not fit in with each other tend to have clear goals
I had a high school classmate who was quiet and always alone. When other classmates were talking and playing in the hallway, chasing and playing with teachers, she always concentrated on learning, regardless of whether the classroom was chaotic or not. Although she didn't fit in from the outside, only she knew how powerful the power of solitude was.
Because she has clear goals, she is at the top of every exam.
Some children try to make themselves fit in order not to let others think that they are unsociable. As a result, they often spend time and effort trying to fit into other people's circles. However, they will eventually find that it is all ineffective socializing because they have no idea what they want.
And those children who do not fit in, often have independent thoughts, have clear goals, do not have to please anyone, and are bent on moving towards the goal, and finally live as they want.
2. Unsociable children, strong at heart, not attached to others
Children who do not fit in often have a strong heart, no matter whether they encounter difficulties or obstacles, they can bravely move forward and be fearless.
No matter what problems they encounter, they can find their own ways to solve them, because they have long learned to rely on themselves for everything.
Compared with those seemingly gregarious children, they have a lot less pain and anxiety, but they have a more relaxed and happier life.
3. Unsociable children are often good at thinking
In 2012, Wang Shu, dean of the School of Architecture at the China Academy of Art, won the Pritzker Prize. When asked by a reporter the secret of his success, he said:
"I have to thank those years of solitude. When I was a child, I fell in love with painting because I was lonely, and I had a vague concept of architecture. After graduation, because I like to be alone, I can calm down and think, and many design inspirations originate from that period. ”
Unsociable children seem to be indifferent to people and things, but they are often able to be quiet and good at thinking, so they progress quickly and quietly become top-notch.
The legendary Italian director Fellini once said: Solitude is a special ability, and few people have this ability. I have always admired those who have inner resources and can enjoy solitude, because solitude gives you an independent space and a freedom.
Schopenhauer also repeatedly told us in The Art of Solitude that solitude is a deeper form of self-growth.
Epilogue:
When it comes to the topic of children's unsociable, many parents will feel that this is not good, and they are worried that their children will suffer losses after they go to society, but in fact, it is not necessarily. As long as the child is doing what he wants to do or likes to be alone, not afraid of socializing, parents do not have to worry too much.
When you find that your child is not social, will you force your child to be social?