How much influence parents have on their children
I think that most of the time the family changes a person very much, and myself and a relative of the same age are the opposite examples.
Coordinates A rural area in Guizhou.
Let's talk about myself first, my parents are authentic rural people, although there is not much money, but also know that hard work to get rich, and there is no heart, very sincere to people, parents married very early, 22 years old have me, after there is my brother.
My old house is very small, and is the kind of stone + mud + bamboo wall, the roof is slate + bamboo, the area is not as large as the current student dormitory, a total of two floors, upstairs is a bedroom, a family of four people sleep on the double bed on the second floor, downstairs is the TV and other furniture, especially simple.
My dad worked as a cement worker with others to earn money when he was 19 years old, and in his spare time he went to work in the fields with my mother, and my mother devoted herself to growing crops in order to save money to build a house.
My parents have taught me to be diligent since I was a child, to be frank, whether it is to study, do things, or to be a person, can not be lazy, my parents go to work in the field very late to come back, so I will do housework and cook and eat from a young age, because of the reason why my parents are honest and honest, the relationship between other neighbors and my family is also very good, I can go to the neighbor's house to eat when there is no rice at home, and my family's new house is also built by our family of four, my father will build a house, my brother and I will help lift bricks and cement, although the strength is limited , but also contributed (haha), covered for a few years, and finally moved.
Under the influence of this family condition, I have known since I was a child that people cannot be lazy, and they must be sincere to people, laziness will only make me poorer, so I dare not be sloppy in studying, although it is not very good, but I can also watch it, and finally I was admitted to college, until now I have a job.
My cousin was the exact opposite of me, his mother was my father's sister, married to the next village, I called his parents aunt and uncle.
When we were younger, we played very well, but he was lazy, lazy to do anything, only knew how to play, because his parents were also relatively lazy, did not have a proper job, did not farm, did not work, played mahjong every day, I have always wondered where his family's money comes from. It wasn't until later that I didn't know it was borrowed for someone else.
His father likes to drink, but the amount of alcohol is not very good, but the amount of alcohol to pretend is very good, a little bit of the feeling of social people, every New Year we go to Grandma's house for a reunion dinner, his father has to drink, and he also wants to ask us children to drink, so I will drink from childhood, but I am not alcoholic, occasionally drink.
But my cousin was different, his father had to ask him to drink every time he drank, so he had a little bit of a penchant for drinking since he was a child, and slowly, drinking became my cousin's habit.
And his parents are a bit unright, every New Year's Day, my family will send some pressure money, 20, 30 yuan, although not much, but also represent the heart.
But his parents are different, every time you have to give the child pressure money will find things to walk away, or give a very insulting, at that time I was 12, 3 years old, remember very deeply, his father gave me and my brother 5 yuan to press the old money, said that there is no money at home, just buy us some candy to eat, at that time my brother and I did not think much, but also very happy.
But after they got home, one of my cousins told me that my cousin and his dad had given her a hundred dollars, and at that time my brother and I had received less than a hundred yuan, and I really couldn't imagine that his father would insult people like this. Since the beginning of this incident, I have hated his father, and I rarely call him in the New Year.
I was disgusted again when I was admitted to college, when I had just received my acceptance letter and my parents were very happy, so they invited relatives and friends to dinner (it was free, no gifts).
After eating, everyone was almost gone, and our relatives went to my grandmother's house to get together, and then my other aunt gave me a red envelope with three hundred yuan, another uncle also gave two hundred red envelopes, and my cousin and his parents also gave two hundred yuan (saying that it was sent, because I was also happy to be admitted, and gave me a reward), so at that time I began to have a little bit of good feelings for his parents.
Less than two months later, my cousin and his sister got married, my mother also went to give gifts, after the gifts came back, my mother and I received a call from his parents in the living room, I was mad at the time, because they asked me to pay back the two hundred dollars, yes, yes, I was directly angry at the time, the only bit of good feelings for them directly disappeared, and after a few years I never called his parents, and when I couldn't see it in the New Year, I never saw anyone who was so unbearable inside, or a relative.
And my cousin was also influenced by his parents and had an incorrect personality.
When I was a child, because I was lazy, so I didn't read to learn to repair cars in junior high school, his parents were also very magical, directly lazy to take care of him, let him go, but how can I be lazy to repair the car, go to mix for two years and come back, didn't learn anything, and then nibbled at home for a few years.
Later, his parents could not manage it, so they asked him to follow one of my uncles to Dongguan to work, but the personality cultivated by his parents since childhood was difficult to change, and it was difficult to change the personality that he had cultivated since he was a child, and it was not easy to listen to my uncle who said that he did not go to work well, always took leave, and often went to drink, worked for more than a year, and did not earn a penny. I also borrowed an online loan.
In the past two years, the impact of the epidemic, the factory closed, he continued to go home to eat the old, from time to time to ask me to borrow money, I was really speechless. Because I don't have much money myself, where there is money to spill out.
And his unhealthy personality is also influenced by his parents, when he was a child, he was a more pretender, learned from his father, there is no money in his pocket, but he always said to invite me to eat and so on, and then to eat but I pay the bill, but also from time to time to find me to borrow money, said a few days to pay, but never paid back.
Every time I borrow money is long and short, borrowed money and said to come to me for a few days to play, but also with me to make a polite play, but he did not find my chat history with him in addition to him lending me money can not find anything else to say, and then borrowed money and disappeared, and then he borrowed me again and said I have no money.
The point is, he has no money, but every day in the circle of friends to send what gathers here and there, the picture is almost the same, just a second lang legs, holding a cigarette, there are several bottles of wine on the table, see him reply to other people's comments, what is not bad money, do not know also think that he is rich second generation.
Every time I think of him borrowing money from me on the front foot, and on the back foot, I want to laugh when he goes to drink and send a circle of friends to pretend to be rich.
I think that in most cases, the influence of the original family on the child is quite large, two completely different families to educate two very different people, I am considered lucky, from childhood by the parents of the strict discipline, not like my cousin.
Therefore, parents should educate their children well, lead by example, and set an example for their children, rather than saying that he is still a child after the child has done something wrong, and then he does not ask, let alone pull the child to make mistakes while making mistakes. The family is the first place for children to learn, and only good parents can educate good children.