Hello everyone, I am the psychiatrist Zi Chen's father ~
Every mother looks forward to her child going to school early so that they have time to do their own thing. A friend's daughter is more than 3 years old, and after picking more than a dozen kindergartens with her daughter, she finally chose the kindergarten that her daughter likes. Every day when she came back from school, her daughter would always twitter and share her joy in kindergarten with her mother.
But the good times did not last long, and within a few weeks, the daughter suddenly cried and said that she did not want to go to kindergarten, and asked her why, but the friend was anxious.
"Mom, I don't want to go to kindergarten anymore."
"Didn't you choose this kindergarten yourself?" And didn't you have a good time in the first few weeks? Why don't you want to go? ”
"I just don't want to go, I don't want to go~"
"Is it that the kindergarten teacher is not good for you?" Did someone else beat you? ”
"None, Mom! I just don't want to go! ”
When the friend saw her daughter and couldn't ask why, she had to go to the kindergarten to ask the teacher, and she wondered if her daughter had been beaten by other children in the kindergarten. The teacher said, "Children are normal to play together, and there is no bad thought." Besides, the child was not injured, and our school will definitely keep the child safe! ”
The 3-year-old daughter encountered "invisible bullying" in kindergarten, and the teacher would not mix it up, relying on her parents to prevent it
The friend was slightly relieved after listening to the teacher's words, but the daughter was still sullen every time she returned from school, and she was reluctant when she was sent to school. Until one time, a friend left work early and arrived at the kindergarten an hour early to wait to pick up his daughter, that he discovered the real reason why his daughter did not want to go to kindergarten.
On that day, the children were playing in the classroom, many children surrounded their daughters, and pointed, the daughter stood in the middle with her head bowed and did not know what to do, but the children next to them laughed until the teacher came.
The friend then remembered the words that the teacher said to her last time, and the subtext was: as long as the child is not injured, don't make a fuss!
However, children also have self-esteem, the heart is more fragile, not only children are beaten and injured to be considered bullying, there is a kind of bullying called "invisible bullying", which has been popular since kindergarten.
Kindergartens began to popularize two kinds of invisible bullying, the teacher will not say it explicitly, but parents should prevent it as soon as possible
With the above teacher, there is "The child is still young, what bad thoughts can he have?" Parents believe that there are many parents who think this way, but parents should know that children think differently from adults, and they are not the same as adults' ability to bear it. Therefore, I hope that parents should pay attention to it, after all, the psychological damage is more difficult to heal.
"Invisible bullying" is really very difficult to detect, and children often refuse to ask their parents and teachers for help because they are timid or do not know that it is a bully. This kind of bullying is very common in the "simple" world of kindergartens, and the two most important invisible ways of bullying are: verbal bullying and behavioral bullying.
1. Verbal bullying
Kindergarten children do not have too bad thoughts, but some children will form groups to laugh, ridicule, and blame other children, the teacher does not think that this is bullying, but the surrounded children are very hurt.
2. Behavior bullying
Bullying in kindergartens doesn't mean they beat people up, they often "harass" other children. For example, to scratch the hair of other children, to tickle other children...
Although these two kinds of "invisible bullying" do not bring physical harm to children, they do bring psychological harm. The psychological damage is more serious, which will make the child timid and cautious, and seriously affect the healthy development of the child's body and mind.
How can parents prevent these two kinds of invisible bullying?
The ideal kindergarten teacher will correct the child's various bad behaviors, including these two invisible bullying, to care for the child's young mind. But in fact, most kindergarten teachers have a very heavy workload, as long as they can ensure that the child is not injured (there are obvious scars on the body), they will adopt the attitude of making big things small and small things to deal with. Even some kindergarten teachers will "invisible bullying" of kindergarten children.
Zi Chen's father suggested that instead of counting on schools and teachers to help children, rather than expecting other children to let go of their children, it is better to count on ourselves, and it is up to us to stay away from "invisible bullying".
Why did my friend's daughter not tell her mother after encountering "invisible bullying" in kindergarten? It is not that the child does not believe in the mother, nor is the mother not caring in place, but the child does not know that this is invisible bullying, or does not know whether others are right about their behavior.
When a child has this thought, he may feel "Why is he only doing this to me?" Am I doing something wrong? Afraid that his parents would blame him for doing something wrong, he didn't want to tell his parents.
Hearing this, I recommended this set of "Children's Anti-Bullying Picture Book" to my friends, and I have been taking my son to watch, and no one in the kindergarten has ever dared to bully him.
This set of picture books has a total of 8 volumes, as parents, we can not always protect our children, if the children are bullied outside, encounter difficulties, can they only cry, tolerate, dare not resist, escape? We must teach children to learn to recognize bullying and what to do when they encounter danger and bullying, so as to protect their physical and mental health.
These 8 picture books contain 8 common school bullying scenes in schools, such as: rumor-mongering, ridicule, nicknames, robbery, exclusion, isolation, etc., almost containing all manifestations of bullying. It helps parents teach their children how to identify bullying and reflect the situation with parents in a timely manner.
Children generally do not like to preach, simply to tell children, children may not necessarily listen, nor will necessarily remember in their hearts. This set of picture books restores the real scene and uses a small story with a strong sense of substitution, so that children can see it and learn the method.
When children know how to identify bullying, parents can play role-playing games with their children to deepen their impression of their children and improve their resilience. For example, you can let the father play the bad guy, bully the child, and then let the child use the methods learned from the book to fight back. This method is very suitable for children who dare not resist.
This set of picture books from 8 themes, exercise children's awareness of resisting bullying, let children know how to protect themselves, learn to socialize, and be a truly strong child inside.
If your child is bullied, he will only cry and dare not fight back; if you want your child to grow into a brave, upright, kind, sunny, and confident person; if you don't know how to teach your child to distinguish and resist bullying, please take your child with you during the golden age of your child's 3-9-year-old personality development. The link is placed below, the guarantee is genuine, the price is also very beautiful, interested parents can take a look ~
Kindergarten anti-bullying picture book 8 books ¥49 purchase
Some of the pictures come from the Internet, invaded and deleted
Holding a nurse certificate and a national third-level psychological counselor certificate, he focuses on baby care and child education, and shares the knowledge and experience of modern scientific parenting with everyone every day.