Grandma Yan Yan has recently been a little confused, obviously she is her own granddaughter, why in the eyes of the child, the grandmother who has not taken care of herself for a day is even more dear than herself.
Yan Yan from birth, is the grandmother to help bring up, these years Yan Yan mother is busy at work, Grandma a handful of a handful of urine to bring Yan Yan up. A few days ago, there was an affair in my hometown, and my grandmother wanted to go back, so I asked my grandmother to help take Yan Yan for a few days.
As a result, as soon as Grandma entered the door, Yan Yan put her arms around Grandma's neck and kissed her, and said, "Grandma, I miss you so much!" You're going to have to stay with me."
Yan Yan took her favorite yogurt for her grandmother and pounded her legs for her grandmother. He also asked his grandmother to stay with him for a few more days, and even said that his favorite was his grandmother.
Seeing the scene in front of her, Grandma couldn't help but be a little jealous, angry that Yan Yan was too unconscionable.
Why did the grandmother bring up the child, but in the end she was close to the grandmother? Is it really in response to the saying "nephew dog, nephew dog, eat and go"?
Most parents will think that the reason is that the child, no conscience, no one is familiar with it, no matter how good it is for him, or towards the grandmother's house. In fact, this is really wronging the child.
For children, their idea is very simple, they feel that if they sleep well, they will be close to whom, and the reason why the child ends up kissing the grandmother is mainly in these points.
1. Subtle input of outdated concepts
"No matter how hard Grandma works, she also raises children for others."
"What is the use of your grandmother raising you, and I will still kiss your grandmother in the future."
Do you often hear some grandmothers say this to their children?
Although grandmothers only joke with their children in such words, children often listen to them, which is undoubtedly equivalent to being brainwashed. For young, ignorant, judgmentless children, they will trust every word that adults say to themselves, and they will default to "yes, I should kiss grandma"
In the past, most of the children were raised by the grandmother, and the whole family lived with the grandmother, so it was naturally closer to the grandmother, and there was a saying that "the nephew dog, the nephew dog, eat and go".
Therefore, in our general understanding, the child is closer to the man's parents, even if the child is now brought up by the grandmother, this concept can not be changed, and will be revealed from time to time.
If it is really for the good of the child, do not always "brainwash" the child, the child grows up, he has judgment, willing to be close to whom is the child's own choice, do not impose on the child.
2. The way of education is different
The biggest difference between grandma with a baby and a grandma with a baby is that grandma is generally not used to a baby.
Because the grandmother's educational philosophy will basically be consistent with the daughter, there are few differences, and they will follow the daughter's educational philosophy, so it is relatively strict for the child.
And the grandmother who often does not see the child, she will not help but indulge, allowed to eat junk food, allowed to watch TV and play mobile phones and so on.
Loose on the one hand, strict on the other, you say that the child will like that side?
This also forms the "child is closer to grandma" in everyone's eyes.
3. Intentional or unintentional eccentricity, causing harm to the child
Although Qianqian was brought up by her grandmother, she said to her mother several times that she did not like her grandmother, and the reason was that her grandmother was too eccentric.
It turned out that grandma had some patriarchal thinking, although they were all the children of their own daughters and sons, but their attitudes were somewhat different. Every time the uncle's little brother came to play, Grandma would ask Qianqian to let her brother, and would also buy a lot of delicious food for her brother, and when her brother cried, grandma said that it was Qianqian's problem, so Qianqian was very unhappy.
Some old people are grandmothers and grandmothers, and the traditional old ideas make them treat their children very differently.
And the children's perception is very strong, they are very sensitive, who is good to themselves, can feel it at once. And the child's performance is also very direct: "If it is good for me, I will be good to him, and if it is not good for me, I will not like it."
As a result, this intentional or unintentional bias has caused the child's dislike of the grandmother.
4, "Before the age of three, no matter how good it is to the children, they will forget"
Some people say that the children that Grandma worked hard to bring up were harvested by Grandma when they grew up.
Indeed, unlike before, in today's family, Grandma has become the main force with babies, and Grandma has become a hand-waving treasurer.
So what makes many grandmothers psychologically unbalanced is that I brought you up from childhood, and as a result, your feelings are the same for both sides, and you think that the child has no conscience, and even eccentric eyes.
In fact, this is really wronged children, when grandma came to help, most of them were in the children's relatively small grades, that is, they were just born to the stage of kindergarten, and most of the children could not remember things before the age of three.
Who brought himself up and how he took care of himself, his memory is actually very vague.
As the child grows up, his cognitive ability and ability improve, and then he will be more impressed by the person who takes care of himself.
So it's not that the child has no conscience, it's that he doesn't remember at all.
From the perspective of the elderly, they have paid so much for their children, especially the most difficult stage for children to carry, thanks to their grandmothers, they can survive smoothly. When you grow up, if your child doesn't show affection for them, it's really chilling.
But we can't blindly blame the child for being eccentric and having no conscience, but we must recognize the real reason for the child's "eccentricity", and then correct the mentality to guide the child correctly.
Grandma with the big child, but and grandma kiss, for this issue, what is your opinion, welcome to leave a message to discuss!