Author | LuLu
Last week, the weather in France was unusually good, the sky was clear, it could rise to twenty degrees in the afternoon, and the streets were full of little sisters in summer clothes, one by one.
I was sending Siddi to school in the morning, and she ran downstairs, wearing a cardigan with a small flower skirt, which she bought last summer, and now it is noticeably shorter, swinging between her thighs.
My instinctive reaction was: This is also too short, no! But who wants to be that nasty mom? I swallowed back the words that had reached the tip of my tongue and said, "Bare legs, cold or not?" ”
She shook her head while putting on her sneakers and said, "It's not cold." ”
In fact, what determines the parent-child relationship is not the words that are spoken, but the thousands of thoughts stuck behind the mouth. Mother and daughter are connected to the heart, saying or not saying is a second to understand.
So, the two of us looked at each other, didn't say anything more, and went out knowingly.
When she got to school and got out of the car, Siddy carried her school bag and jumped out of the car, and the short skirt was in the wind, and it bloomed at once, like a bright little flower, with a shiny hair, and ran away against the sun.
I sat in the car and watched, and couldn't help but sigh: It's good to be young, the little girl is just good-looking.
Although he was only 12 and a half years old, this year, Si Di really grew up, and his height was 162, surpassing me. Ten hours of professional swimming a week, no white practice, the figure is also good, wide shoulders, narrow waist, big long legs, but also thin and straight, sometimes looking at her, even I can't imagine, this is the meat ball that was held in my hand at that time?
When I came back from school that night, Si Di was obviously in a good mood, and twittered to me: "Today, my friends say that my clothes are very beautiful." ”
I said, "Baby, it's not that your clothes look good, it's that you look good, and you look good in anything you wear." ”
Siddy was shy and slipped into my arms to coddle. But now she was taller than me, and this familiar little gesture had become a new test for both of us.
I had to push my feet, and she had to push her waist to barely rest her head on my shoulder. However, this strange posture does not affect the full happiness that swells up in each of us.
The sun continued to shine the next day, and in the morning I waited for her to come downstairs as usual. On this day, she wore a black sweatshirt with jeans.
But when I bought that sweatshirt, I came with a dress, very short and waist-high. For Si Di now, if the hand is not raised, it will already show a little waist line, and any small action will immediately expose the entire stomach outside.
Seeing this Look, I stood on the spot, thinking uncertainly for half a day, saying or not saying? Don't say it or say it? No, not really, so I said, "Your dress is a little short." ”
Si Di was actually weak-minded, and she tried her best to pull her clothes down and said, "Today is hotter than yesterday." She thought I would turn a blind eye and mix it up, and I had to say more explicitly, "No, you can't go to school like that." ”
The string broke, the paper broke, and the little girl immediately changed her face: "Why not?" Everyone wears it that way, and some people wear short tops and miniskirts! The implication is that she only wears a short blouse, which is already very restrained.
I didn't budge: "I can't control how others wear them, I just care about you." No way is no! ”
Siddy was furious, 12-year-old's anger, a kind of indiscriminate and unreasonable teasing.
She stomped her feet and said, "You are not allowed to do anything I do!" Did you know that I will always be the ugliest girl in school! The ugliest! ”
I looked at this unreasonable, demon, little scoundrel, and had to remind her: "Hey, you said yesterday, your classmates said you were beautiful!" ”
Her logic was not bad, and she immediately responded: "Yesterday, the classmates said that the clothes were beautiful, not me", and at the end, she added: "You never listened to me, so you didn't hear me!" ”
I have always restrained myself by the standards of a mother who has received parenting education, and I have always yelled at my children as a shame that makes me frightened, but for no reason, I was robbed of white, I really can't stand it!
I raised it by seven half-syllables and said, "How did you speak to me?" ”
Siddy pursed her lips and muttered, "What I'm saying is the truth." People are talking about skirts, not me. ”
A few years ago, dressing freedom was a very popular word, and there were always young girls who were aggrieved and felt that society did not give them freedom to dress. This is simply a false proposition.
Because "dressing" has always been a very tendentious social and political issue, as long as in society, regardless of age and gender, the freedom to dress does not exist!
But I never imagined that one day, in my home, there would also be a movement of "dressing freely".
I looked at Si Di again with the eyes of an adult, and felt that no matter how enlightened she was, I still couldn't let her go to school like this, so I said with a straight face: "You go and change me, otherwise don't go out." ”
Si Di was angry, but she knew that at this time, it was useless to argue, so she could only go back to the room and rub into the floral dress of the previous day.
This toss, the time was too late, Siddi did not eat breakfast, I went to get a small package of cookies for her to eat on the way. The little girl's face flickered, her eyes rolled, and Dayi said awefully: "If I don't eat, I won't eat, I starve to death, I deserve it." ”
Seeing that I didn't take the stubble, she continued to provoke with great provocation: "Anyway, you don't love me, anyway, you have only loved your sister!" ”
Since last fall,000, Siddi has entered a period of adolescent rebellion. Especially for girls, the mother is the biggest competitor in her subconscious, and now, it is not every three to five, but every second, every inch of the earth to provoke me, absolutely not to leave any opportunity.
I've been constantly convincing myself, adjusting myself, being calm and tolerant. But clay people also have an earthy nature, and they are as close as mother and daughter, they know each other, and Si Di knows how to provoke me too much, such as this tried-and-true reason of "only loving my sister".
This morning, I really couldn't bear it, so angry that I slammed the biscuit in my hand on the table, the biscuit was in the bag, shattered into powder, and at this point, I finally turned into a porcupine full of spikes, and said loudly: "I only love my sister." Well, who do you think loves you, who do you go to? ”
Si Di's face turned blue at once, and his big eyes overflowed with tears, and he almost fell down, but he still had a strong mouth: "No one loves me, in this world, no one loves me." ”
The little girl stood on the tender green grass in the spring, and the pear blossoms brought rain to the appearance, which was really beautiful and moving. But the problem is, I am her mother, not in the mood to pity Xiang Xiangyu.
Standing on the spot, looking at her self-seeking and grief-stricken look, she was really angry, and she wanted to slap her on the face and let her roll aside!
I had to hold back my anger, take the key and open the car door, let her get in the car, drive us all the way and argue all the way, fight each other, whatever I said, the little girl had something to say.
Fortunately, the school was not too far away, and when I turned around, I just felt so tired that I couldn't even drive the car.
Time flies so fast, and when it comes to her birthday this year, Siddi will be 13 years old. A number that Christianity regards as Satan's devil is really accurate, because having a 13-year-old child in the family is equivalent to having a little devil.
The so-called 13-year-old rebellion, but about from 11 to 15 years old adolescent children, from children to adults, whether for themselves or parents, is a test of rebirth.
Si Di, who has become a small monster, where is the quarrel with me, it is clear that she is holding a sword and holding a sword, pressing step by step, constantly provoking, just want to know, where is her upper limit, can she still be ahead, and then a little further?
However, I feel more and more that parenthood is really difficult! To be an example for the children, but also to be a target for the children, and then to be a fulcrum for the children, and to be a mat when it is over, to fight for their lives and ensure that nothing goes wrong?
In addition, when competing with the energetic bear child, they can't always win, because they need to get their own value from the action of defeating their parents; but they can't always lose, because winning is too easy, it can only be very boring.
And in these times of coming and going, every word the parents say, every thing they do, and even every look and action they make can become a confession in court decades later, to judge the original family, which is really a deep sin.
It's really whining, it's all sadness.
For a piece of clothing, I was angry for a day. When school was over in the afternoon, I went to pick up my aunt and grandma and go home. The head of the crushing person gushed out at the school gate, and before I could see my face clearly, I saw a person running towards me desperately and giving me a big bear hug.
Siddy said with a light on her face, "Hello Mother," and leaned over my ear and said, "I observed, you are more beautiful than any other mother." ”
The two of us walked intimately in the direction of the car, as if today's dead-and-alive morning did not exist.
As I walked, I said to Siddi, "Mom thought, that dress, if you want to wear it, you can wear it on the weekend to a swimming competition." ”
Si Di gave me a blank look: "What is the point of the competition, changing into a swimming suit as soon as you enter the door?" ”
Hey, this is probably mother and daughter, is parent-child, is the most intimate relationship in the world, quarreling, scolding, even if they do not agree with each other, but nothing can stop the love for each other.
This is what I secretly photographed
Lu Lu: A master of clothing in France with two daughters, a writer, walking in the middle of the rift between Eastern and Western cultures, elegant women self-media. The new books "Thirty Or So Late" and "Strength to Have Confidence" are selling well.