Kahn's Bar
1
Fish Three entered the Kahn Bar, which was a complete accident.
That night, Yusan went to a night market and ate a barbecue at the night market.
After Yusan entered the city to live, his favorite was the city's night market. After the night comes, I like to go to the night market and sit down, order some chicken gizzards, lamb skewers, beef skewers... Wait for some barbecue stuff, ask for a beer, just sit like that, eat and drink leisurely, not to mention how happy it is.
That night, Yu San was at the night market, had enough barbecue, drank beer, and walked back very comfortably.
Walking downstairs to his own residential area, he suddenly saw a circular pattern on the ground, spinning, and in the middle of the pattern, there were a few words: Kahn Bar!
Yu San looked up and saw the bar on the second floor. There was a flickering light in the window, and from inside, the sound of music.
Yu San, with the intention of drinking, entered the door, took the elevator, went up to the second floor, and came out of the elevator, and was greeted by the Kahn Bar. Inside, the lights flicker and the music beats.
The fish went into the bar, found a place to sit, and immediately a young girl came to him and asked him what he needed.
Fish Three said I needed beer.
The girls asked what beer you needed, how many bottles.
Fish three said, any beer can be, take three or five bottles.
It didn't take long for the girl to bring the beer and open it, and Yuzo sat at the small round table, leaning back in a chair, leisurely drinking beer and listening to music.
This flickering light, this particularly fast-paced music, is so shocking. There is also beer, which is a foreign beer, and the taste is particularly mellow and rich. Yu San was soon intoxicated by such an atmosphere and such a strong beer.
At this moment, Yuzo turned his head and saw a girl sitting in front of the bar.
The girl's face was big, though, and the lines were beautiful. Slightly fat, a little rich.
The girls also wore small braids of hair, like a waterfall, scattered behind their heads.
Yu San felt that the girl was so beautiful, it seemed that she had seen it somewhere, but she couldn't remember where she had seen it.
Yusan listened to music, felt the bar, under the lights, the leisurely and elegant environment, drank mellow beer, and secretly watched the girls in the bar from time to time, thinking about where to see girls.
Thinking, thinking, Yu San's heart seemed to crack a crack, sprinkled into a ray of sunlight, illuminating his past that had been sealed by the dust of time.
2
It was Yu San, who had just joined the first year of work.
That year, Yusan graduated from a school in the city, with dark hair, a vigorous body, and a dream in his head, went to a village school near his hometown and began his work.
Not long after working, my father died of stomach cancer. Yu San, who had done a funeral for his father and returned to work at the unit, was full of his father's memories of his father, thinking of his father's eternal departure, and his heart was particularly painful.
What can soothe Yusan's heart and make Yusan temporarily forget the pain is work, outside of work, drinking with colleagues, drunk and drunk, temporarily forgetting the pain. However, the next day, the stomach was burning like fire, the head was hurting, and the memories of his father were so clear that yusan felt more and more pain.
One afternoon, after a busy day of work, it was finally over, and after Yusan had eaten, he walked out of the school and followed the dirt road at the foot of the mountain to go for a walk.
On this road, there is no one, on the head, it is a blue sky, the sun seems to be high, the sun is faint, warm. The colors of the mountains have darkened, and the river has lost weight and flowed. Some of the crops in the fields have already been harvested, leaving only the straw. In the air, there is the smell of maturity.
Yu San walked silently, still thinking about his father and remembering his father in his mind, but his mood became calm, but there was no longer such pain.
Just then, I met one of his students named Hong'er, a medium-sized student, slightly fat, with a large face and a soft line on his face. The mouth is flattened and the chin is rounded. It's very cute and rich.
When I arrived, Hong'er rushed to the fish three to say hello, teacher, take a walk!
Yu San smiled slightly and said, taking a walk.
Hong'er suddenly opened her eyes, stared at Yu San, and said to Yu San, Teacher, I heard that your father died, this may be providence, you still have to face reality, be strong, live well, don't pour wine on sorrow, and don't be too painful.
After saying that, without waiting for Yu San to say anything, Hong'er hurriedly walked in the direction of the village school.
Yu San stared at The back of Hong'er, the dark hair on his head, combing countless small braids, especially cute and beautiful.
Yu San felt that this student was so sensible.
Yu San knew that he was a teacher according to his identity. However, in terms of age, he was not much different from the students in the class, the oldest, two or three years old, and the youngest, but five or six years old. And Hong'er, the difference is only two or three years old. It's a man of the age.
Hong'er's words, and Hong'er's appearance, suddenly warmed Yu San's inner breath, making Yu San feel warm, and his mood suddenly improved, and the pain disappeared.
Looking at the blue sky overhead, the faint, warm sun, feeling the quiet in the mountains, looking at the autumn colors that are gradually coming, feeling everything, suddenly there is a poetic tranquility.
After Yusan worked, he encountered the death of his father. And from the city, suddenly back to the village, but also away from those who are similar in age, have inner resonance, there are many common language students, alone to this remote village, the inner loneliness, loneliness, is indescribable. Although in the last years, I met a girl, but as he walked out of the campus, it also scattered, everything is a memory, adding to the loneliness of staying in the village, gushing with inner pain.
Yu San suddenly felt that it had been so long since he had been in this village, because Hong'er suddenly felt so good in his mood, and felt that the mountains were filled with poetry.
3
Yu San taught Hong'er for a year, and then he left the village and returned to work in the ravine of his hometown. Hong'er also left the village school and went to the town to study.
In one year, Hong'er left too many good memories for Yu San.
Ever since Hong'er greeted Yusan when she was walking and said that, Hong'er was imprinted on Yusan's heart.
When going to class, Yusan always involuntarily looks at Hong'er, and when he encounters asking students to answer questions, he always habitually likes to shout Hong'er to answer. Hong Er was not shy at all, and became bold and stood up to answer. Yu San looked at Hong'er, and his eyes were full of praise.
When Hong'er knew yu san's key and often lost it, he secretly gave yu'er a keychain in the twilight. Green, woven with wool. At that moment, the fish's heart, so touched, warm.
The fish thought that Hong Er could talk to him again and say something like that.
However, since then, when I went for a walk, I never met Hong'er again.
Others, there is no opportunity to talk to Hong'er, even if it is talking, it is also related to learning, although the age difference is not much, but the identity is different, many words, it is difficult to say.
Brilliant autumn, after a few autumn winds, a few autumn rains, a flash has passed, the winter in the mountains, came early, the mountains are soon in the yellow, depression, the wind whistles, the leaves of the trees, the fluttering fall, the sky, began to fly snowflakes.
It was cold, and everyone in the village had burned stoves and roofs, and smoke was rising. Colleagues in the unit, after work, also built a fire in their own house for warmth. It was very cold outside, and Yuzo couldn't go for a walk anymore, and like other colleagues, he bought charcoal in the village and made a fire to roast.
Inside the house, though warm, outside the house, in the village, there was a dead silence, a black hole hole. In the small courtyard, only those children, not afraid of the cold, are running, frolicking, and making haha laughs from time to time. Yu San didn't know that among those who were frolicking and laughing, there were no red children.
Yu San wanted Hong'er to talk to him, and wanted Hong'er to be with him and accompany him. However, due to different identities, it is difficult to realize such a wish.
Hong'er's words when yusan walked, the keychain that was secretly given to him, and the warmth brought to him, gradually dissipated in his heart. That left the city, left the loneliness of the peers, and loneliness came to mind. After separating from the girl, the pain of being separated also came to mind. And the most painful thing about him is the unexpected death of his father, which is the prime of life, what a beautiful age. It is the age when you have suffered enough and finally enjoyed a little blessing that you have passed away, which is painful and regrettable. Yu San's heart was full of memories of his father. At night, I dreamed, sometimes, my teeth were dropped, sometimes, I was with my father, how happy I was, but when I woke up, I found that this was a dream, and my heart was so painful and lost.
The fish did not expect that when such a cold season came, the warmth brought to him by Hong'er gradually dissipated in his heart, and loneliness, loneliness, and pain began to occupy his heart, he could go to Hong'er's home.
4
It was a weekend, and there was a student who called out to The Fish Trinity to go to his house to play. Seeing this boy was very enthusiastic, cute look, Yu San wanted to stay in school, empty, just as lonely, lonely, and did not refuse, and followed.
After going there, what Yu San did not expect was that this student's home was near Hong'er's home.
When he knew this, Yu San's heart became excited.
In my mind, I thought back to the road to Hong'er's house and the scenery of the road.
From the village where the work unit school, follow the path, first climb over two mountain beams to a village.
The village has a wide river channel, clear water, and a vast flow. The two mountains are open, and a large ping dam appears. By the river, there are large fields. At the foot of the mountain, there are densely populated people's homes, forming a large village.
Passing outside the village, I followed the path and slowly went into a ditch.
In the ditch, there are wild willows, although there are no leaves, the branches of the wild willows, densely erect, are particularly beautiful.
At the ditch, a small mountain beam was taken, and then, following a path on a hillside, went to the ditch. At the bottom of the hillside, there is a deep ditch, and in the ditch, there is a stream flowing. The mountains, in the midst of the dry yellow, the top of the mountain, had white snow.
From the path of the hillside, around the ditch, at the bottom of the ditch, is the flowing stream, on both sides of the stream, is the dry yellow water grass. The mountains on both sides, high, the edges above the head, narrow, turquoise.
Just listen to the ditch where the stream flows all the way, walk not far, the mountains on both sides of the ditch, gradually open, the creek, there are fields, there are people.
Hong'er's home is in this village.
When Yu San knew about Hong'er's family, in this village, his heart became excited. Thinking that this is winter, there is no scenery, if in the spring, spring warm blossoms, what a beautiful scene. In the summer, the mountains are blue, the creek is covered with green grass, the stream flows happily, there are birds chirping, cicadas are hissing, how quiet it will be, like a peach orchard.
Yu San didn't know that it was because of Hong'er that he felt the beauty of this ditch. Or the beauty of the ditch, let him intoxicated.
Yu San took advantage of the idleness and went to Hong'er's house. Hong'er was in the courtyard in front of the yard. Go to Hong'er's house, cross the creek and also go to the small bridge, and then to the yard.
Yu San crossed the small bridge and arrived at the Red Children's Yard, Hong Er saw Yu San, first surprised, then enthusiastic, called the teacher, and then told his parents that the teacher was coming, busy letting Yu San arrive home, moved the bench for Yu San, let him sit, and then went to pour water. Hong Er seemed so mature and sensible.
Hong'er's home, like the family in the village, is a house with black tiles. Hong'er's parents, his father's tall and thin child, and his mother are slightly fat, all of whom are the same rural people, kind to people, and appear kind and kind.
They left the fish three to eat.
Hong Er was busy doing it, cutting wine and vegetables, then finding eggs, burning the fire in the stove, and starting to cook.
Finally, the egg noodles made for the fish three are made.
When Hong'er did it, Yu San was always by the side, silently watching, and suddenly understood in her heart why Hong'er was so mature and sensible, perhaps the family environment created, so that when she was young, she was sensible and able to do housework.
Watching and thinking, Yu San's heart was excited.
It's just that, not knowing why, Yu San didn't know what to say and was silent. Hong'er, too, was silent. Occasionally when the eyes are facing each other, Hong'er smiles slightly, that smile, so good-looking, charming.
Yu San ate the egg noodles made by Hong'er, and felt so fragrant and so intoxicating. My heart was excited, and in my mind, I also developed all kinds of beautiful and rich imaginations.
Returning from the student's house, although Yu San's heart still kept his memory, remembering Hong'er's home, the appearance of the ditch, the appearance of Hong'er's home, Hong'er's mature, sensible appearance, and the taste of the egg noodles he made, his heart was excited and warm. However, Hong Er suddenly seemed so silent, and when she saw him, she didn't have any expression, she was avoiding, and avoiding him.
I don't know why, in the face of such a scene, Yu San's heart, that warmth, excitement, and coldness.
It was snowing, and Yusan felt so cold, so lonely, lonely, and even miserable.
I wanted to talk to people, especially Hong'er, but I didn't have the opportunity to say it.
Yu San's only thing is to walk silently on the snow in the twilight, let go of the voice, sing a song of "A Thousand Paper Cranes", express his mood, Yu San does not know, this song, is singing his own, or red.
It didn't take long for the holidays to take place. Between him and Hong'er, he had never spoken, and what Hong'er gave him was avoidance, coldness, and indifference.
Yu San only embarked on the way home with this indifference and inner pain.
5
Perhaps, during the holidays, because of the New Year, with relatives together, with hometown villages, familiar people together, that lively, peaceful, warmed Yu San's heart, let Yu San temporarily forget Hong'er, because of the sudden indifference, brought him pain. In my heart, what came rushing up was the desolation and pain of the first year of the family after the death of my father. Fortunately, there are relatives with me, and there is some relief. Thinking, although you go, live, you must also be full of hope for life and live well.
At the end of the year, I returned to work. The work unit is still the same, the colleague is still the same, after greeting, after a moment of enthusiasm, it is back to the same as before, mechanical, monotonous work, plain, calm life.
Hong Er was still there, keeping a distance from Yu San, with an indifferent look.
This made Yu San, thinking back to the scene when she first walked, greeting herself, the scene of giving him a keychain, going to her house, the scene of her making egg noodles, feeling sad and sad.
The weather is gradually warming, the sun is getting warmer, the mountains are green, the grass is also drilling out of the ground, and there are peach blossoms blooming everywhere in the mountains. The wild willows by the river spat out furry bubbles, and the river flowed cheerfully.
Spring, step by step, brings people vitality and hope.
However, the death of his father brought deep pain. From the city, to the remote and lonely village, away from the same age, the inner resonance of the classmates, the last time, can be in a piece of the endless girl, but also after separation, go their separate ways, there is no news. Hong Er maintained indifference and distance again, allowing Yu San to fall back into loneliness, loneliness, and pain. In my head, I thought back to the little bits and pieces of Hong'er. More, it is the memory of the time with my father, and my heart is full of pain. I also recall that in the city, the time of school made people feel more and more lonely.
Whether it is loneliness, loneliness, or pain, every day, you have to face, work to do, but also have to live a strong life. The days, and so it goes, day by day.
The sky became low and the sun gradually became hot. The mountains are turquoise, all kinds of flowers, one after another, thank you, between the leaves, there is a fruit. In the fields, the crops planted by the villagers also grew on the ground, green and lush. The wild willows by the river also grew leaves, turquoise and turquoise, covering the rushing river. People wear, gradually less, thinner.
Hong'er and Yu San, still keeping their distance, indifferent.
Yu San was guarding the lonely, lonely, painful, full of thoughts and red children, just like this, until she graduated, left the school, she also wanted to leave the village, return to her hometown ravine unit to work, take care of the family, soothe her heart.
But he did not expect that the school arranged for Hong'er to show him the way, to go to a village, and let a child who had not come to school for a long time return to school.
After listening to the arrangement, Hong Er walked in front, and Yu San walked behind and went to the child's house.
The place is not far away, out of the school, follow the path, go down a short distance, into a ditch, ditch, also a small road, follow the path, go to a village in the ditch, and reach the student's home.
From the school, to the mouth of the ditch, there is no one. Entering the ditch, there is a long way to go, there is no one, in the middle of the ditch, there is a section of road, there is no home.
However, when you go, you must hurry to the student's home, ask the student about the situation, let him go to the school, or when he goes to the school, what reason, go back to the school to report, so all the way silent, go in a hurry.
The sun, on the western side of the hill, is setting little by little. In the western sky, there are red clouds. In the ditch, twilight, just a little bit of coming, the birds flapping their wings, returning to the forest. People who have worked for a day, carrying hoes, go home. People have black tile roofs and smoke from cooking. There was the sound of chickens and dogs barking, and people talking vaguely, and the ditch was full of pastoral atmosphere.
Walking to the student's house, the sun had set and twilight had come. Yu San went to ask about the situation, and the student said that he was unwell, watching at home, not going today, tomorrow his father would send it.
After hearing this, he saw that the time was not early, so he walked back with Hong'er.
The turquoise mountains, in the twilight, solemn. In the fields beside the road, there are crops growing, quietly. Streams, ding-dong flows. Wild willows on both sides of the stream, with lush foliage. Some tall walnut trees, in the twilight, were like clumps of fog.
Passing by the place where there are villages, people's houses, lights on, people are in their own houses, eating dinner, the family is together, warm and melting. The chickens were in the cage, and only the dogs barked.
After entering the village, to the deserted mountain wilderness, there were only two people footsteps, making a rustling sound, the stream was dinging and flowing, and the insects were in the grass, chirping, making the night in the mountains seem deep.
Hong Er didn't go fast, and suddenly began to speak, saying to Yu San, you know? They all said I was good with me and called me Master, I couldn't stand it.
After listening to Hong'er's words, Yu San knew that his enthusiasm for Hong'er, letting others talk about it, hurt Hong'er, which made Hong'er keep a distance from him and remain indifferent.
Yu San didn't know what to say, for a long time, for a long time, and finally he had the courage to say such words, they said, let them say go, if they can do this, it is good. I was lonely, lonely, miserable, and needed someone to accompany me.
Hong'er said, however, our cultural level is not the same, not more than one piece. I still have to study, the road is still long, you can't afford to wait, don't want to delay your time. On the road ahead, there are too many unknowns for you and me.
Yu San did not expect that Hong'er was so sensible, mature, and thought about things so deeply.
Yu San did not know how to say, Hong Er said, if you can, in the future I finished my studies and went out of society, at that time, you have not found a girlfriend, I still have love, let's talk about feelings! At this time, no matter how much the age difference, you will always be a teacher, I am a student, this can not be crossed.
Yu San felt that Hong Er was right. Just say to Hong'er, well, one word is certain.
Silently, out of the ditch, to the mouth of the ditch, there is a waterhole, on the edge of the waterhole, there is a flat stone. Yu San said to Hong'er, let's sit down!
Hong Er did not object, and sat down with Yu San, on the stone slab.
In the sky, there are stars and there is also the moon. The moon is round, and the moon is as quiet as the glow. Under the moonlight, the mountains are hazy and faint, showing a variety of beautiful shapes. The river, sparkling, flows silently. In the distance, there are densely growing grasses and trees, and under the moonlight, there is a fog rising. The air was filled with the scent of grass. The river under the slate, rushing and flowing. The water in the waterhole is sparkling.
The sky is silent, the mountains are silent.
Yu San and Hong'er sat silently like this, without saying a word. All the words were spoken and remembered in their hearts.
Yu San looked at Hong'er, and Yue'er fell into her eyes, which was particularly crystalline, making Hong'er more and more cute and beautiful.
Yu San couldn't help it, pulled Hong'er's hand, his heart was pure, there was no evil thought, as if to tell Hong'er, he remembered Hong'er's words, in this way, expressing the vows he remembered just said.
Hong Er was motionless.
After sitting for a long time, for a long time, feeling quiet, Yu Sancai and Hong'er returned to school and rested separately.
Since then, Hong'er still has a distance from Yu San and is indifferent. In his heart, Yu San remembered the words that Hong'er had said, and knew that the pressure and difficulties that Hong'er was facing at this time could not be overcome between them.
When thinking like this, Yu San's heart was no longer sad, painful, and no longer lonely, lonely, but guarding the words that Hong'er had said, and his heart was so excited, warm, and he felt that life, the village, and everywhere were full of poetry.
Until graduation, respectively, Yu San did not have a conversation with Hong'er.
Although there was no chance, Yu San was also creating opportunities, but Hong Er avoided it.
Yu San thought that when Hong'er left, she would say anything to him again, what was the agreement, but there was no agreement, and when he knew, Hong'er's father came, helped her carry everything, and left silently.
At this moment, Yu San couldn't tell his heart, and suddenly, it was so empty, so sad, so painful.
In my heart, the only thing I remember is the scene when I went to the student's house with Hong'er, the scene on the way back, and the words that Hong'er said.
Yu San didn't know, Hong'er still remembered this word no, still waiting for this agreement no.
However, after that, there were no more words, and in the face of that long scene, those words, suddenly, seemed so subtle and weak.
And looking back at Hong'er's words, Yu San also knew that the words hong'er had said contained too much content, and there was too much uncertainty about their future for each other. In case in the future, she talks about the right person! In the future, I will meet someone I love too! This oath, then, is the empty waiting.
Yu San didn't know, and between Hong'er, it was such a hazy beginning, and it was not clear whether he liked it or loved it. And so the wordless parting. I don't know, is this the beginning, or the end forever.
6
Between Yu San and Hong'er, after this, there is another intersection.
Hong'er graduated and went to town to study. Yusan also left the school in that village and returned to the school in his hometown of Ravine.
Yusan returned to his hometown to work, the colleagues of the unit, are all people in the ravine of his hometown, people are familiar with it, the work is smooth, when the work is free, in a piece of casual talk, these, warmed Yusan's heart. On the weekend, Yusan went back and lived in an old house with black tiles, with relatives to give warmth. The people in the village, as familiar as ever, also casually talked, played cards, and drank wine in one piece, just as warmed Yu San's heart. All these comforted Yusan's heart, so that Yusan forgot the loneliness, loneliness, the pain of losing his father, and the inability of people without peers and inner resonance.
Yu San's heart, reminiscing, missing his father. I also recalled the scene of studying in the city and missed those classmates. What has not been forgotten is also Hong'er.
However, I don't know whether it is because of identity, or between each other, there is an insurmountable gap, Yu San is far from hong'er's school, although it is not far, and it also knows the address, but it has never gone to find Hong'er, nor has she written a letter to Hong'er. Hong Er had never come to him and written a letter to him.
Between hong'er and Hong'er, after separation, only the memory was left, basically broken.
And Yu San, also because of the unit, came a girl who graduated from college and temporarily substituted for classes, and fell into a love.
That love made Yu San pay the purest, truest, and deepest emotion in his heart, and fell into a deep depth. The beginning is very hazy, the process is very romantic, and the ending, it is very bleak and painful. When the girls were done, they went back, and then they went to the far side. Although Yu San struggled to keep it, he did not keep the pace of the girl. Despite the three mouths of the fish, he loved her. However, the girl said that it was not love, it was in a dead and lonely village, lonely, helpless when lonely, as long as there was a good experience, it was enough, the result was not important. She still has very beautiful dreams, a long way to go, it is impossible to stay in the village all the time, the past will pass.
The girl walked so dashingly and resolutely. But because of this, the fish three, from the peak of happiness, suddenly into the dark, painful abyss.
For a long, long time, I couldn't cheer up. All in pain, depressed. At one point, Yu San was almost desperate. Instead of the warmth given by colleagues, the comfort given by relatives, and the love given by people in their hometown villages, Yu San may have embarked on a dead end in despair.
Yu San is in pain, depressed to live, playing cards, drinking wine to pin his heart, venting inner pain, and sorrow.
By the time Yu San woke up and cheered up, it was already a few years later. After a few years, Yusan finally saw the sunshine, saw the blue sky, saw the future, hoped, and was strong and alive. At this time, he also heard that Hong'er was about to leave school, so he wrote a letter containing affectionate words, hoping to impress Hong'er, evoke Hong'er's inner memory, remember the promises he had made, and fulfill his promises and come together.
However, after waiting for some days, he received a very short letter from Hong'er, and at the end of the letter, there was such a passage that made Yu San unforgettable, and he no longer had hope for Hong'er:
I have forgotten the things of the past. In the future, the sea will let the birds fly, whether in the past, or now, in the future, you will always be my brother.
Putting his mind at ease, Yu San couldn't tell the taste in his heart, looked at the blue sky, and let out a long breath. The events of many years ago, the promises that were not promises, were finally understood and had results.
However, Yu San did not blame Hong'er, nor was he painful or sad. After all, he had been deeply in pain, numb to pain, and already had immunity to pain. After all, after leaving Hong'er, he did not always keep his promise to Hong'er, not silly and loving, and thought that it was love, and finally he was used, deceived, and finally abandoned. Yu San felt that he had betrayed Hong'er, sorry Hong'er. No matter what, for Hong'er, the only thing is blessing.
7
Since then, Yu San has never seen Hong'er again, nor has he heard any news from Hong'er, and has lost contact with Hong'er.
After Yu San, there were many places to work, met many people, experienced many things, and experienced the sweetness of love, hope, to pain, disappointment, and finally, finally married a girl named Ling'er.
Before Yusan and Suzuko met, they were experiencing a lost love, which was Yusan's love in the gradually older age and fighting a battle, just like on the edge of the cliff, grasping the life-saving straw, love was so sincere, so deep, the inner emotions, and the hope of a happy life in the future, all pinned on this girl. However, later, the girl still cheated, betrayed him, and married the people in the county, which made Yusan fall from the peak of happiness to the abyss, unable to see the hope of life, and even the courage to live, leaving him with despair.
At this time, Suzuko came to work in the unit, and Yuzo and Suzuko, from acquaintance to marriage, took several months. Suzuko gives Yuzo love, marriage, so that Yusan's heart, feel warm, solid. It also made Yu San suddenly feel that the love he had experienced, the family he longed for, was so difficult and unattainable, and when love and marriage came, from love to marriage, it was so simple and easy. Simple and easy enough to make Yu San a little skeptical about life.
It is Suzuko who saves Yusan from despair and makes Yusan see the hope of life in despair. Let Yu San break free from the abyss, step by step, and see the blue sky and sunshine.
A year later, Suzuko gave Yuzo a son. It is even more to push the sweetness and happiness in Yusan's heart to the extreme, and forget the love, sweetness, or pain that he has experienced. In the face of this time, the stable family, children, and everything in the past seem so light and ridiculous.
However, after the birth of the child, it did not take long to push Yu San from the peak of happiness to the abyss again, although there was no despair, but it made the heart surge with disappointment.
Yusan learned that Suzuko had a brain disease before she met Yuzo, and had once gone to the hospital for hospitalization and had been taking medicine to maintain her life.
At that time, Yuzo had been in the pain after the loss of love, and did not realize it, but instead Suzuko cooked for him, washed clothes, accompanied him, obeyed him, made him feel warm, and felt that what Suzuko gave him was true love.
Suzuko's love melts the pain in Yusan's heart, allowing Yuzo to feel warm, happy, and see the hope of life.
After waking up, I felt that Suzuko was a little different from ordinary people.
Soon after giving birth, Suzuko went crazy. Yuzo then learned that Suzuko was ill before he met Suzuko.
I thought that I had found someone who loved me and had a complete and stable family, but I did not expect that Suzuko was a madman.
This made Yu San's heart feel extremely lost at once.
However, between suzuko and Suzuko, there is already a marriage, and there are children, and they have been trapped and cannot struggle. From then on, Suzuko was destined to be his destiny, the person who could not escape, the person who wanted to live with him.
After being bitterly disappointed, Yuzo sends Suzuko to the city's hospital for treatment.
What makes Yuzo feel relieved is that after a few months of treatment, Suzuko's condition has been controlled and she can work and live like a normal person. However, always take medicine.
Although this is the place that makes Yu San feel disappointed and dissatisfied. However, thinking that Suzuko bore him a son, and also thinking of Suzuko, saved him when she was desperate. I also thought that Suzuko was particularly kind to him when he was stable, cooking for him and washing clothes. Accompany him and obey him. There had never been a man who had been so good to him. Thinking about it, Yu San's heart was comforted again. I think that people want to have a complete and beautiful life, and in reality, in life, there are always defects and ruins.
In a flash, Yuzo and Suzuko were together and had lived together for more than ten years. The child also went from learning to toddlers, to spending a carefree childhood, and then to entering school, and now reading in the town. Suzuko has been taking medicine, is in stable condition, and can work and live like a normal person. Having been with him and taking care of him for so many years, this is a kind of happiness that makes Yuzo feel deeply satisfied and touched after the initial disappointment, and feel that he has found Suzuko.
After many years, I gradually became rich in hand, bought a car, and in the city, bought a house.
Although there should be everything, Yu San often felt lonely.
The child grows up, like a bird with wings that gradually become full, to fly out of their circle of life and go to the wider world, he has his friends, and many times a day, he will leave them and go to play with his friends.
Suzuko did not know whether it was getting older, or whether the drug had been eaten for too long, and there were side effects, the body was getting fatter and fatter, and people were drowsy more and more. Many times a day, I lie in bed, dozing off. That fat look, like a pig.
Yusan stayed in the hut on the high-rise building, the child went to find someone else to play, and Suzuko dozed off, making Yusan feel lonely and lonely. Listening to the faint sound of the city, through the window, looking at the street, people coming and going, this loneliness, loneliness, added a part.
Going downstairs, although familiar with this city, but in this sojourn city, there are no relatives, and there are not many familiar people, which makes Yu San feel lonely, lonely, floating in the city, feeling like a prodigal son, an abandoned child.
What makes Yusan feel the happiest is that the night is coming, the city is in the lights, go to the night market downstairs to sit down, order a favorite barbecue, drink beer comfortably, in the aroma of barbecue, in the slight drunkenness of beer, in the atmosphere of the barbecue stall, let him forget the loneliness, loneliness.
Occasionally, the child and Suzuko would follow him. Many times, Suzuko is dozing off, the child is playing outside, and he does not come back for a long time, leaving him alone.
That night, Yu San, after eating a barbecue, was slightly drunk, and when he walked back, he inadvertently saw the Kahn Bar because of the sign that fell on the ground, and walked into the Kahn Bar! Began a story that revealed the hidden story of Yu San's heart, making him so clear that he recalled the past.
8
Because the girls in the bar looked like red children, from then on, Yu San had to go to the Kahn bar every night.
After going again, Yusan took the initiative to go to the front of the stage and order what he wanted, so that he could talk to the girl.
Although the accent of the girl is not the same as that of Hong'er, the emphasis and breath of the girl's speech are the same as those of Hong'er, and it is somewhat heavy.
Yu San also secretly looked at the girl, the girl's face, figure, and memory of the red child, exactly the same. The girls also wore countless small hair braids, just like the red children in memory. This awakened the memory in Yu San's heart more and more, and he had a good feeling for the girls in the bar, and his heart was inexplicably warm and excited.
Yu San thought, and Hong'er, because of the difference in identity, there was an insurmountable gap between them at that time, although there was a little good memory, but in the end, it was such a wordless ending, thinking, I have no regrets in my heart. Just thinking, I want to know this long and cool girl, and then, tell her the story of Hong'er, see if I can continue his story with Hong'er in her, and make up for the regrets in my heart.
The fish ordered some snacks and some beer. The lights flickered, the music was shocking, and Yu San reveled in such an environment, while eating, drinking mellow beer, and in his mind, he recalled the past with Hong'er, and those past events were as beautiful as in dreams and poems. However, in the end, it was a wordless ending, thinking, making Yu San regretful and sad.
I also secretly watched the girls in the bar, her hair, looks, and demeanor, all of which looked like red.
Gradually, in Yu San's mind, he fused Hong'er and the girls in the bar, as if they were one, and walked into the dream and into the memory.
In Yu San's heart, there were a thousand, ten thousand imaginations, if and Hong'er, in the end, not an embarrassing and wordless ending, but with Hong'er, came together, he returned to the original village to work, walked with Hong'er, and went to her house with Hong'er. Together with Hong'er, I went to the ditch where the student's house lived, looking for the feeling of that night. What kind of life would that be!
Yuzo also thought about telling the girl in the bar the inner story, how she would react and what kind of story she would interpret with him!
Yu San unconsciously ate and drank a little beer. Just go to the front of the table, order snacks, beer. The wine made the fish three bold, through the strength of the wine, the fish three praised the girl's beauty, but also said that the girl's hair, so beautiful, can you take a picture of her.
The girl smiled and happily agreed. Yuzo took a picture of the girl.
Yu San listened to the music, finished eating, drank all his beer, and his body was in the air, leaving the Kahn Bar.
Go back, lie on the bed, let The Bell fall asleep, let the child go, he is on the mobile phone, looking at the photos of the girls in the bar, in his mind, remembering Hong'er, the heart is so intoxicated, sweet, time seems to flow back, he and Hong'er are together.
9
Staying on the city's tall buildings, for Yu San, the day of the day is to look forward to the early dark, and then, go to the Kahn Bar.
It is to drink, after the alcohol anesthetizes the body, and the soul, to get an instant like a god, a feeling of ethereality, walking into memories, and being with Hong'er, forgetting the troubles of the world, and the loneliness and loneliness that re-falls into at this time.
It is also to see the girls in the bar, this long girl like a red child, looking at him, walking into memories. Then, I also want to step into the girl step by step, get acquainted with the girl, tell the story in his heart to the girl in the bar, and then try to make up for the regret in my heart. Escape from the loneliness of life at this time, lonely.
And everything, just as Yusan wished, every time he went to The Kahn Bar, he had a harvest for the girls at the bar.
After going there, Yusan went directly to the table, ordered food, and ordered beer. Then, with the girl set up close, looking for something to say. However, those words are some random words, which have not yet penetrated into the depths of the girl's heart, and there is no way to tell the inner story to the girl. I don't even know the girl's name. The words spoken are that girls are so beautiful! The hair comb looks good! The snacks in the shop, really tasty and the beer was really good. The setting in the Kahn bar was lovely and the music was beautiful and intoxicating. The girl listened, a smile on her face.
However, every time after drinking a dozen wines and then drinking a second dozen wines, Yu San's head was a little dizzy, and people began to be inexplicably excited, through the flickering lights, shocking music, and brains, clearly recalling Hong'er, and the courage was also greater.
When I went to the bar and ordered the second dozen beers, I was bolder and more speechless.
Yu San still praised the girl for being beautiful and combing her hair. Nice setting in the bar with good beer.
The girl was still smiling.
Yu San said to the girl again, you really look like a person I have seen.
Girls don't answer curiously like he thought, do they? Then, he would take the opportunity to ask the girl's name, and then tell the girl the story of his heart. However, the girl still smiled and did not say anything. Got him a beer and settled the account.
This made the excited Fish Three, somewhat lost.
One night, after drinking two dozen beers, Yusan went to order a third dozen beers. The head is dizzy, the eyes are a little hazy, and the body is a little fluttery.
The fish stumbled to the bar, ordered a beer, and then, still excited, and the girl looked for words, the words were still, the girl was so beautiful, the hair was combed well, and it looked like he knew him.
The girl still didn't say anything and smiled.
At the bar, there sat a young man, slightly fat. When Yu San went, the young man sat quietly, looked at the girls in the bar, and also looked at Yu San, and didn't say anything.
Fish Three thought that this was also the person who came to the Kahn Bar and drank. Yu San ignored his presence.
Yu San was still excited, with the strength of the wine, and the girl was almost set. Asked the girl's name, the girl did not say it to him.
Then, when Yusan was paying, he took the opportunity to add the girl's WeChat, and the girl did not have the good intention to refuse, passed, and added him.
Yusan saw the name of WeChat: Bubble. What a nice, poetic name!
In Yu San's heart, Meimei thought, with the girl WeChat, the future will be able to go deep into the heart of the girl, tell the girl his inner story, and this girl called Bubble, in this familiar and unfamiliar city, will definitely stage a story of his dreams, make up for the regrets in his heart, and also dispatch the loneliness and loneliness that gushes into the heart at this time.
But he did not expect that Yu San lifted the wine, returned to the table in front of the bar, put the wine, and sat down on the stool, but he did not expect that the stool was moved away, he sat empty, sat on the ground, his forehead touched the edge of the table, bleeding.
The waiter hurriedly came, helped up the fish three, and said hurriedly, sorry sir, sorry sir.
After lifting up, he said to Yusan, sir, you have bleeding from your forehead, go bandage it!
The waiter found a tissue for Yusan, and Yuzo pressed the place where his forehead was broken, left the Kahn bar, went to bandage it, and went back.
Yu San's heart felt that he was ugly in that bar, in front of the bubble noodles, would he be willing to go later?
Yu San couldn't figure it out, the stool was obviously in that place, how could he sit empty! Who moved the stool!
Yu San went back, and WeChat received a message, which was sent by Bubble:
The guy sitting at the bar, my boyfriend, you almost broke up.
Yu San understood everything, and the stool was probably the same boy who deliberately moved it when he was going to sit down.
Yusan knew that he had hurt a person for the sake of his inner dream, and almost destroyed the sweet, happy love of others.
Yu San's heart was full of guilt and self-blame.
Yu San also suddenly understood that he would not be able to tell the inner story to this girl named Bubble, and this girl named Bubble, after all, he could not make up for the regret between him and Hong'er, staged the story he longed for, and dismissed his loneliness and loneliness at this time.
Although, bubbles and red children, although they look the same, but, after all, it is not a person!
Yusan deleted Bubble's WeChat. I also said to myself in my heart, the things of the past will eventually pass, and they will never be able to make up for it, so let the years be dusted forever!
2018, 8, 2 days of draft