Liang Shiqiu: The art of conversation, there are three ways

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A person can take three different approaches to a conversation, one is monologue, one is quiet listening, and the other is talking to each other.

Talk is not a speech, let alone a lecture, so a person cannot occupy all his time, and he cannot go on a long and endless journey, and there is no one around. Some people are probably particularly developed in the mouth, as soon as they open their mouths, they cannot rest themselves, and they will never allow others to interject. He can talk about a thing from Pangu to open up the world, slowly enter the topic, and can also flourish, and finally forget what this topic is. Such a domineering interlocutor, if there is indeed content in his speech, the so-called "spitting out good words like sawdust, and the lightning is endless", it is not difficult to find an audience. Among the British literati, Dr Johnson is a well-known example. In the coffee shop, as soon as he opened his mouth, the rats did not dare to bark. The stuttering Gorsmi touched the moldy head as soon as he interjected. Sir Oracle is talking, who dares to speak up? The reason why Johnson was called the dictator of the literary and artistic circles at that time was that he was good and good. Those who are learned and funny enough to be johnson must be more tasteless in the language of comparison, and if they are chattering, how to make people resistant!

Some people may think that the mouth is only concerned with eating and not for other purposes, and it is a jaw to the person, and does not say a word. Such a person is also indispensable in conversation, because talking, like acting, requires an audience, and such a person is the ideal audience. The Carthusian monks, a serious sect in europe in the Middle Ages, practiced non-speech as one of the methods of asceticism, and it was not easy not to say a word for a whole year. Whether it is an outsider or not, some of us ordinary people can really be silent. He followed the example of the Golden Man's three-fold silence, and on his back should have the inscription: "Now the prudent words of the people are also." You speak to him, he listens, you ask him a word, and he can send you off with the most economical words. If you also happen to be a believer in "no more words, more words and more defeats", relatively do not hand over a word, then you have to listen to the ticking of the wall clock on the wall. Zhong Huizhi and Ji Kang, on the other hand, are broken by the clanging of iron. Such people also exist in modern times, relatively speechless, not against the heart, Bhagavata smoked a pack of cigarettes, and dispersed with pleasure. In any case, the old and sophisticated people always exhort people to listen more and talk less, and replace the mouth with their ears, and those who do not open their mouths are always unpredictable; if there is no cover at the mouth, it is easy to make people look at the end.

Conversation, like composition, has a theme, an abdominal draft, a hierarchy, a head and a tail, and cannot be incoherent. There are not too many people who write articles with care, and even fewer people who talk and know how to cut. Writing articles is particular about being straight to the point, starting with the most important, to be straight and abrupt, or very cheerful, in short, to be fascinating, extraordinary. The same goes for the conversation. Talking about the weather is good or bad, of course, it is also a way to greet, and it is not funny. It is common for guests to visit, the guests and hosts are seated, and the guests slowly speak: "You didn't go out?" The host had no other way of replying other than to reiterate the fact that "I did not go out." Talk about business, talk about business, just ask them to understand clearly, there is nothing to say. The general conversation is often "untitled" and "occasional", there is no fixed theme, easy to come by, and it has its own feelings. Lovers whisper, there is always an endless topic, when it comes to talking about nothing more, then "at this time silence is better than sound". Old friends cut candles in the west window, Ban Jing Dao, up and down the ancient and modern there is no unspeakable, there is no rule, as long as the other party does not yawn. Zen masters are good at talking and talking, and there is no sign of falling, which is another kind of realm, which is not what we ordinary people can hope to get. Good talk and talkative are different, talkatives can make four seats spring, but somewhat overbearing, good talkers despite the tongue can be lotus, but always leave some opportunities for others to speak. The content of the words cannot but involve people, and the so-called people are either others or themselves. Talking about others has become the best information for the East and the West, the content is boring and boring, and the content is boring and boring, and the demise is also wounded, which is quite deliberate. The original meaning of the English goessip word is "godparent", especially the godmother, extended to any woman who is more than middle-aged, and then extended to gossip, and then extended to fly short and long, and for long-tongued women, it can be seen that this problem has its origin, and the origin of "rumor-mongering school" is also from this, and it is both Chinese and foreign. However, now that the times are advancing, this phenomenon has nothing to do with age. Of course, talking about oneself in a conversation does not hurt people, and things that lack morality are often turned into things worthy of boasting after being preached by oneself. However, this seems to be too deeply "self-grasping", and the people who care most about their own affairs are often only themselves. The word "I" in English is the "I" in capital letters, some people have exaggerated it, if every sentence begins with the word "I", doesn't it seem more self-centered?

In terms of technique, there are also some taboos in conversation. "Leave half a sentence at the mouth", just to persuade people to be cautious, but some people seriously implement it, the real one only says half a sentence, and the rest half of the sentence is for you to speculate, just like the sentence in the grammar exercise, half a sentence should be filled by you. Sometimes you just say the first half of the sentence and ask you to guess the second half; sometimes you just say the second half of the sentence and you want to think about the first half of the sentence. If there are too many broken sentences in a conversation, it is difficult to understand without sorting out the listening. It's time-consuming and laborious, and nothing more so. I think it is best to pay attention to grammar when talking, and it is advisable to use more complete sentences. At the other extreme, lest the listener not be impressed and repeat each sentence, this method is too extravagant for the listener's endurance. The tone and voice of the conversation vary from person to person, some are like broken gongs, some are like roosters, some are like a cavity, some have a plate and an eye, some are regurgitated like complaints, some add a string of gridded laughter at the end of each sentence, and some spew an atmosphere like a whale after saying a paragraph, all of which have nothing to do with the grand purpose, the important thing is that the size of the voice needs a little control. As soon as he opened his mouth, his blood veins were stretched, and the sound shook the roof tiles, and soon he would be exhausted and hoarse, and his anger would be broken, as if he did not have to. Others have formulas for their conversations, using bass and even whispering nouns and verbs in each sentence, which makes the listener quite difficult. Some people have particularly developed salivary glands, and after three words and two sentences, there are two cream-like foams on the corners of the mouth, and when they make a heavy lip sound, they can't avoid splashing, really like phlegm. People get along with each other, it is easy to friction, and when talking, we must also keep a distance to be safe.

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