In 2012, Lola, who had just entered the adult world for two years and had not gone out of her hometown to see the world well, married and had children with her sweetheart with an attitude of love first, and became a mother who couldn't take care of herself and took care of baby.
At the age of 20, the age of college, she became a mother and was trapped in a small family to live a life that could be seen at a glance.
Ignorant of what marriage was, she didn't know what marriage was, but she was attracted to the boy in front of her who was not childish.
Lola with son
Sure enough, the mistake of the young and ignorant was to let her pay for it herself.
The two people who had been grouped together by impulse were separated in the days of chicken and dog, and Lola and her children were ridiculed and pointed out by relatives and friends.
At a young age, her spine was about to be broken, and the pain was too straight.
To escape, she traveled alone to the more diverse big cities, trying to find inclusion and understanding.
Fortunately, life was not bad for her, allowing her to find a hint of sweetness in her bitterness.
I signed up for "Sharp Taste" with the attitude of trying it out, and I met a big star and was on TV.
Later, by chance, he recorded "Please! Refrigerator", gradually gained fame.
More fortunately, she dominated the hot search with her performance in "Semi-Familiar Lovers", and also found a handsome boyfriend with a lot of gold, as if life had opened up.
However, as a single mother, she suffered a lot of white eyes before taking the step of love.
Friends of the opposite sex who have a good feeling are scared away by the title of "single mother" when they chat; friends of the opposite sex like her but dare not love her; finally meet a boyfriend who understands her, and is forcibly separated by her family who is influenced by secular ideas.
Along the way, she has received feedback without exception:
You don't deserve love! You don't deserve to be loved!
In the face of the departing lover, she never forced and blamed, but once again looked down on herself.
In the face of the person she loves, she does not dare to take a stand easily, and the failed marriage experience and children become the biggest concern.
Fortunately, she met Wang Nengneng, who was also divorced and had a baby, and felt tolerance and love.
An impulsive decision, let her suffer from 10 years of feelings, a love variety show, let her find a long-lost warmth.
Her story has inspired many single mothers who are lost and inferior in life, letting them know:
Divorced women still deserve to be loved.
Lola and Wang Nengneng
In another emotional variety show, Wu Yating, who was divorced and took a baby like her and suffered from the fingering and pointing of relatives and friends, had to face it, which also resonated with the audience.
Wu Yating's related hot search terms dominate the screen
Like Lola, the last marriage was a source of inferiority, and the children around her became a hindrance.
However, compared to Lola's end of harvesting sweet love, so that the audience deeply feels that "it is worth it in the world", Wu Yating's various experiences and anxieties make the audience realize:
The deepest pain for divorced women is not because of men, but from children.
01 Unhappy marriages have their own misfortunes
Through the stories behind Lola and Wu Yating, as well as each guest in "Spring Day Late Departure", it is not difficult to see:
In marriage, happy marriages are all similar, while unhappy marriages have their own unhappiness.
Lola spent ten years to pay for her young and ignorant self, and Wu Yating spent five years to see the essence of life.
Through the introduction of friends, Wu Yating met Wang Quexin in KTV, and was confessed to walk together after drinking.
The two married in a hot situation, and the identity of the three-year students upgraded, but what followed was the real life after facing the impulse.
When giving birth to a child, Wang Quexin went out to shoot a drama the next day, and when she gave birth to a second child, Wang Quexin was immediately busy with work.
Because of the busy work, Wang Quexin often could not go home for three or four months to eat, and Wu Yating, who was eager to accompany her, could only take the child at home, and even the postpartum depression was not relieved.
And Wang Quexin, who is busy making money outside, often makes amazing remarks in the program, making people confused.
In the face of Wu Yating's companionship needs and daily communication, Wang Quexin often ignores it on the grounds of work.
After giving birth, Wu Yating is very similar to Fang Yinuo in the TV series "Dear Child", and she circles around the child every day.
And Xiao Lu, who does not want to go home when he hears his children crying, and often uses work as an excuse, is like Wang Quexin, a "workaholic" in Wu Yating's mouth.
But the difference is that Wang Lixin did not betray his wife and family like Xiao Lu.
Even so, the trivial things after marriage are enough to make the couple who originally loved each other part ways.
Also abandoned by marriage, compared to Lola's rapid withdrawal without a long period of marital beatings, Wu Yating, who dragged her two children in the marriage for five years, felt cold.
So much so that she can't quickly forget the past and devote herself to the next relationship.
However, there are too many women like her who feel unhappy in marriage.
Among the vegetarians, there are husbands who are addicted to gambling and cannot extricate themselves, and they reach out for money again and again, and they have no choice but to choose divorce.
There is a husband who cheated on sex and is unrepentant, and liu Liqi, a doctor who has repeatedly decided to leave with a broken heart.
There is also Lu Ying, who is divorced because of nephritis and the man is afraid of not being able to have children.
Not only are these unbearably unfaithful husbands in marriage, but also celebrities.
Ah Jiao, who is in a vigorous love, before getting married, Lai Hongguo took care of her in every way, but after getting married, the other party was like a changed person.
In desperation, Ah Jiao, who has been married for two years, quickly divorced and escaped the pain of marriage.
Liang Jingru, who has been married for nine years, chose to divorce her husband because she was exposed to cheating and took her children to live a new life.
Nine years of effort became worthless, and memories seemed to become jokes.
Whether it is a vegetarian or a star artist, it is the same in marriage.
The wind and snow moon are just far away, chai rice oil and salt are life, and chicken fragments and dog fragments are the essence of life.
Looking at the divorce through the lives of Wu Yating, Luola, and Liu Liqi, who divorced with their babies:
Divorce is not terrible, terrible is not to see children.
02 The child is the mother's biggest weakness and the deepest pain
After the divorce, Lola took the child alone and did not give up custody even if life was difficult.
After the divorce, Wu Yating's economic strength is not as good as Wang Quexin's, but she is soft and hard to ask the other party to give her the custody of the child.
Marriage can be divorced, but children cannot be separated, which is the final bottom line from the mother.
During the time of divorce, Wu Yating washed her face with tears every day without eating or drinking, she regretted impulsive marriage, but never regretted giving birth to two children, even if she knew the ending, she would still choose to get married and have children.
This is the most selfless love a mother has for her child.
The child is the weakness of the mother, and it is also the deepest pain in the heart of the divorced mother.
Therefore, Liu Liqi, who was cheated on, once chose to turn a blind eye to what her cheating husband did for the sake of her children.
After the unbearable divorce, she still lived in self-blame, believing that she did not insist on letting the child lose her complete home.
In this world, the only one who would rather wronged herself than treat her children badly is the mother.
Liu Liqi is very much like Fang Yinuo in "Dear Child", after finding out that her husband cheated on her, she angrily wanted to divorce, but after calming down, she still gave the other party two opportunities for the growth of the child, but unfortunately the other party did not grasp it.
The weight of divorce and children is answered in "Thirty Only".
Gu Jia immediately chose to divorce after finding out that her husband was cheating, leaving each other with the last decency.
But when she found out that Lin You had touched her child, she completely lost her rationality.
Gu Jia played primary three for her son
You underestimate what a mother can do for her child.
This is Gu Jia's warning to Lin You, and it also speaks the voice of the mothers.
Gu Jia fights for her son
About the weight of the child in the mother's heart, it is also interpreted in the TV series "The Perfect Partner".
Wu Min, who gave up her job as a full-time mother, has been in a widowed marriage for a long time, and she can't even find a workaholic husband when her children are sick. Under the long-term hidden tolerance, Wu Min chose to divorce.
And her only condition is that she want her son, and all her property is like dung in front of him.
Children are the heart of mothers, and there are not a few mothers who are tolerant for their children. Parents who worry about their children are innumerable.
Wu Yating's mother is an optimistic and humorous woman, and whenever her daughter's birthday, she will reproduce the situation of childbirth that year and tease the child.
But when Wu Yating divorced, Wu's mother always cried secretly at night, and every morning she had a pair of red and swollen eyes.
Because in the eyes of her mother, Wu Yating is also a child and her own weakness.
After the divorce, Wu Yating, with her two children, tried to start a new life and heal her love wounds through "Spring Day Delayed Departure", but when she was confessed by the male guest, she panicked.
Her panic vividly reflects the bitterness of a single mother.
03 Concerns of divorced women
In the show, Lin Chengwei, who has always been cautious and cautious, finally plucked up the courage to confess to Wu Yating, but Wu Yating, who has always been bold and brave, retreated.
Behind the withdrawal comes from three concerns.
- Out-of-shape is not worthy of being loved
Although Lin Chengwei has no name and no money, but he is handsome and elegant, in Wu Yating's view, there are so many good girls in the world, he has better choices, and he does not have to waste time on himself.
Because she has given birth to two children, her figure has been out of shape, and her double chin, bloated waist and limbs can be seen on the surface.
You can see your sagging breasts, your belly that has been knifed, and your fat that you have nowhere to hide.
These have become the reasons for Wu Yating's lack of self-confidence, so she always thinks that she is not worthy of being loved, and Lin Chengwei deserves better.
Wu Yating's inferiority can resonate with the audience because there are too many cases in life.
Some women, prenatal drift beautiful and bright love to dress up, postpartum body shape and take care of the child to boil into a "yellow-faced woman", the husband's verbal attack and slander, will produce a deep sense of inferiority.
Some husbands, even think that their postpartum wives are too fat, do not buy clothes for each other, and talk about when to be thin and when to buy.
In addition, the news of "postpartum body-out-of-shape husband cheating" has become common.
Regarding the postpartum figure of the wife, more men openly discussed the topic of "divorce if you can't lose weight".
From a poor girl to a bloated woman itself will make women feel inferior, and the husband's indifference and dislike will hit women even more.
Wu Yating's story is too true.
- With a "drag oil bottle" dare not love
Children are Wu Yating's weakness, but also her concern about running to the next marriage, so that she does not dare to love and does not believe that someone will love her.
She doesn't know if the other person will be good to the child or tolerate her past, so she always uses "trouble" to describe herself.
Because before Lin Chengwei appeared, Wu Yating, like Lola, tried to move towards a new life but was hit hard by the escape and retreat of her friends of the opposite sex.
At that moment, they all realized that they had been "clearly marked".
Today, Wu Yating, with her two children, always thinks that she does not have the time and qualifications to accept a love.
- No longer believe that the next relationship will be happy
In addition to worrying about her children, she is also afraid of being unladylike and afraid of being hurt after opening her heart.
She has always longed for and longed for love, but the last failed marriage made her cautious and insecure.
After marriage, will it be a chicken feather again? Will you still be unhappy? Will it be a repeat of the same mistakes?
When she was with Wang Lixin, the other party always went out to drink on the grounds of work, and she not only could not stop but also took care of the drunken other party, and her heart was exhausted.
Will the next one be the same?
Single mothers fall in love again, which is so easy! Wu Yating has many concerns, but they are full of truth.
When she was young, she always felt that the people she liked must get, but after the divorce, she did not think that it was necessary.
Maybe that's growth.
04 Divorced women are still worthy of love
Wu Yating's withdrawal is to tell herself that she is not worthy of love, and Lin Chengwei's honesty and bravery are telling her that divorce is only an experience, the future is the direction, and she is still worthy of beautiful love.
Zhao Yanan's care and pursuit of Lu Ying is also telling every divorced woman that there is no so-called inferiority, only whether she has met the right person.
Wang Neng's sincerity to Lola is not encouraging women:
If you bloom butterflies come.
Lola and Wang Nengneng
Wang Ziwen, who had a child in seclusion, told Wu Yongen all the secrets, and what he got was not to shrink back but to be greatly embraced and tolerated.
Wang Ziwen and Wu Yong'en
After the show, Wu Yongen's care for Wang Ziwen and the care of her children have explained what "love" is.
Wang Ziwen and Wu Yong'en
Divorced twice, Zhang Yuqi, who still has a dragon and phoenix fetus, can still get the love and care of her boyfriend Li Bingxi, who is 8 years younger.
Yi Nengjing, who divorced her eldest son, although she is no longer young, she is still held in the palm of her hand by Qin Hao, who is 9 years younger.
Similarly, Zhong Liti, who divorced twice with three daughters, Jia Jingwen, who remarried with her daughter, and Faye Wong, who took her children to fall in love with her old love, which one is not pampered? Become a winner in life?
Including the TV series "Xiao Min's Family", after Liu Xiaomin married Jin Bo and had a son, her husband's alcoholism and domestic violence caused the marriage to break down.
In Jin Bo, she felt all the unsatisfactory things in her life, and she who had planned not to love anymore was melted by Chen Zhuo's warmth.
He Jinghua, who divorced with his child in "Growing Up with You", turned his face to find a young and handsome little husband, not only obedient to her, but also more like a friend to his stepdaughter.
Divorce just doesn't mean you don't meet the right person, it doesn't mean you don't deserve to be loved.
Children are a weakness, but not a stumbling block to happiness.
Wu Yating, who yearns for love, may wish to throw away all the shackles and open her heart again to continue to love.
05 Throw away the "crutches" and stand alone and continue to look forward for love
For single mothers, the word "divorce" is harsh, but they also have to collapse and heal themselves.
Just like Bai Bing, who secretly cries in the show, wipes away her tears and sleeps, she is still a sparkling independent woman on stage.
Only by being an independent and self-reliant mother can we give her children a better growth environment, which is also the meaning of fighting for custody.
Instead of crying and crying all day long, it is better to cheer up and live out of yourself, instead of complaining about yourself and wasting time, it is better to sort out your mood and continue to start.
Divorce is about living better, not jumping from one pit to another. Single moms deserve to be loved, but only if they are sober enough.
If you break a jar and break it, you can casually find a man who is not as good as her ex-husband to marry and mix up, it is cruel to yourself, your children, and your family.
Wu Yating has achieved sobriety, and after the divorce, she has sorted herself out and invested herself in her career, ensuring the basic life of her two children and realizing her own value at the same time.
There is also Wu Min in "Perfect Partner", who circled around the child and the stove before the divorce, and became a female boss after the divorce.
Wu Min, who has a successful career
Only if you don't give up on yourself, you deserve the respect and love of others.
Divorce is not terrible, giving up on yourself is terrible.
Single mothers are not terrible, single mothers who only complain are terrible.
Winning custody of a child is not a win, it is a real win to give a good life to a child.
Lola and Wang Nengneng
Wu Yating, who threw away the "crutches" and baggage, regained her job as a career woman, and no longer relied on anyone to choose to stand alone, this backbone and attitude are worth learning from single mothers.
But what's more worth learning is trying to keep loving open and not let your child become a burden.