Hello everyone, I'm Li Lanfeng.
Let's start with a story.
When I was in Yinchuan before, I knew a mother who was a university teacher. Her child was in junior high school. She said that she and her lover will be very active in encouraging their children and use the annual long holiday to plan the family's travel plans.
For example, before the summer vacation comes, let the child spend a month planning where to travel. Mom would care about her and remind her: Check whether to go to Dunhuang or the grasslands of Inner Mongolia this year, or to Sichuan and Chongqing... What do you think?
In this matter, in addition to encouraging the child to try boldly, the mother only put forward two requirements: the travel time is not more than ten days, and the total budget of the whole family's travel is about 20,000 yuan. The rest is left to the child.
Children need to go online to inquire about the attractions along the route, see a variety of strategies, such as how long it takes to visit the attractions, what kind of combination tickets are the most affordable, what hotels are comfortable and safe and the nearest attractions are more economical, where there are local specialties, what time there are large stage performances (because in some famous attractions, large performances are carried out at a specific time every day, you have to meet that point in time, these performances are very shocking)...
Mom lets the child fully understand and study the entire travel plan. Kids also enjoy the process very much. For more than half a month, after she made the entire travel plan, she organized a family meeting, the child presided over the meeting, and arranged every detail: the father was responsible for transporting supplies, the mother was responsible for logistics support, and the child was responsible for the tour guide work... Wait a minute. Each division of labor is responsible, and parents make some suggestions to their children to improve this plan. Next, the children are looking forward to the arrival of summer vacation.
Summer vacation came, everyone set off one morning, took a train or plane, arrived at the destination, and began to travel for about ten days. Everything is well planned, parents rejoice in their children's growth, and children feel a sense of accomplishment for their full participation in the management of the family.
The whole process is to let the child carry out a very thorough plan, starting from an idea, becoming a draft, and after everyone's discussion, a complete and rigorous plan is formed. In the process of implementation of the plan, the adaptation is adjusted in a timely manner to ensure that the plan is implemented step by step. This ability is important for the child's future life!
Let's open a company, organize the team to do the market, engage in research and development, as the head of the team, we must take everyone to make annual, monthly, weekly plans, and then follow up the process, solve problems, performance appraisal, rewards and penalties. This is actually the same reason as the summer program above.
So, let the children participate in family plans, such as the renovation plan of the family house; organize a picnic activity plan on the weekend; there are study plans, smoking cessation plans, research projects on how to prevent game addiction... And so on, you can let the child exercise and grow.
At home, parents discuss everything with their children, encourage children to participate more, and let children take the initiative to make decisions. In this process, we parents properly grasp the direction, I think that children who grow up in such an environment will be more assertive, more decisive, more confident and more confident in themselves and a sense of accomplishment. Whatever he does, he will have confidence and determination, and a sense of self-identity that he will be able to do it.
So listen to the child's opinions, let the child say more and express more, respect the child's opinion, let the child express his opinion on the big things and small things at home, allow the child to participate in the discussion of various things at home, make an improvement plan, actively participate in the action, and take the initiative to make progress in things, so that the child will understand things earlier, have his own sense of responsibility, and understand the goals and directions of his life.
Respect the commitment to the child, ask the parents to implement and complete the commitment to the child regardless of the cost and cost, rather than being very casual when committing, just to cope with the child, when the promise is really to be fulfilled, but play tricks and find excuses to shirk. Such parents are irresponsible.
We do not easily promise to our children, once we promise, we must do it, which is the parents who are responsible for their children.