For a long time, upright walking has been considered one of the hallmarks of human appearance.
And as an upright walking human, it also has to face a problem that no other animal has - hemorrhoids.
So what is it like to have hemorrhoids as a human being?
When it comes to hemorrhoids, some hemorrhoids will say this:
"Sitting always feels like I have a piece of meat on my ass."
"When there is an internal hemorrhoid, the ass is stuffed with a swollen and falling cactus ball."
"I always feel like I'm hanging something from my chrysanthemum, and I can't help but die."
"It hurts to sit, it hurts to lie down, it always touches the lump of flesh, and you can only lie on your stomach to not hurt."
On the toilet, here's what they said:
"Going to the toilet after eating spicy is as sour as a chrysanthemum stuffed with a chili pepper."
"When I pull shi, I feel like I'm pulling a glass ballast out."
"Every time I defecate, I feel like I'm dying."
"I always feel like I can't pull clean, I can't wipe it clean, and it hurts."
There is also a category of people who use very precise and rich descriptive methods of animal analogy:
"You know what? My classmates said I walked like a penguin with a broken foot. ”
"I don't sit, I don't lie down, and when I have a serious seizure, I can only lie on the ground like a toad."
"I feel like 100 bees are stinging my ass at the same time."
"I feel like a mermaid with her tail cut off."
There are also people who have become poets because of hemorrhoids:
"Chrysanthemum seems to have an extra layer of armor, and it seems to have an extra layer of soft ribs."
"The beginning of the story is often like this, just in time, caught off guard. The end of the story is often like this, two flowers bloom, and the pain is so painful that it scolds the mother. ”
"A person may encounter two kinds of hemorrhoids in his lifetime. A good time, occasionally coming out and taking a look at you and going back; a savage growth, like a knife straight into your softest place. ”
When the pain comes, don't ask again: "Why me?" "Those who are shrouded in the joy of drinking and eating spicy don't ask this question in their hearts."
As we all know, the pain caused by hemorrhoids is also different and different in level.
That's why there are different descriptions and different experiences...
In medicine, the pain that humans can feel is divided into 12 levels, and the higher the level, the greater the pain felt.
The vernacular of netizens summed it up as:
1. Unobtrusive pain, such as mosquito bites.
2. Pains that have just been noticed, such as preparing for surgery after anesthesia.
3. Very weak pain, scratched by a knife.
4. Weak pain, such as being slapped by someone.
5. Mild pain, such as banging on the door, or being caught in the door.
6. Moderate pain, such as gastroenteritis and stomach pain caused by unclean diet.
7. Strong pain, such as being beaten with a stick.
8. Severe pain, such as dysmenorrhea in women.
9. Very strong pain, such as neck, shoulder, waist and leg pain, neuralgia.
10. Severe pain, such as a severed finger.
11. Extremely severe pain, such as visceral pain such as appendicitis pain.
12. Unbearable pain, such as pain during childbirth.
Antai felt that the level of pain corresponding to hemorrhoids could probably be summarized as follows:
The first level only has occasional feelings, can feel the balls of flesh, do not feel the pain;
The second level is that there is an extra caterpillar crawling in the panties;
The third grade for the chrysanthemums was coated with a little chili sauce;
Level 4 is a bee in the panties, and accidentally stung you;
Level 5 is the little ball of meat on your ass being pulled by someone;
Level six for sitting feels like sitting on a cactus ball;
Level seven for the brink of unbearable pain;
Level eight is that there is a huge mysterious force that takes the anus as the origin and is about to tear the whole person apart:
Level nine...
I don't know what level the hemorrhoidal youths here are...
But no matter how many levels of pain you are in now, in addition to having to actively take medication, the intimate Thai still has to remind you:
▷ Avoid going to the toilet for too long, otherwise it will accelerate the development of hemorrhoids;
▷ Drink more water when the feces are dry and hard;
▷ Often eat high-fiber foods such as vegetables and fruits, which can keep the stool soft;
▷ When the pain is unbearable, you can take a warm water sitz bath to soothe the pain.
▷ Activities that can cause stress to hemorrhoids, such as weightlifting/cycling, etc. should be avoided.
▷ After the hemorrhoids are healed, the original regular movement can be restored, which helps to prevent the recurrence of hemorrhoids.
Eat less spicy, keep your mouth shut, keep your stool unobstructed, and pay attention to Kikube hygiene