Author:Zhou Xiaoya (Parents Intensive Reading Author)
Evolutionary Mother: With the love and care of parents, the child has the most precious wealth in the world, which can make him brave and strong on the road of life in the future.
Recently, Papi sauce in the "Send 100 Girls Home" variety show about parent-child remarks, on the hot search.
In the show, a guest said that many times a man's mentality will change after becoming a father, and they vow to live well, work hard to earn money, and give their children a better life.
There are even people who go to get a fitness card in order to better adapt to the role of father.
In order to play the role of a good father, so go to the gym!
This strange operation was mercilessly ridiculed by another guest, Papi Sauce.
In her opinion, if you want to be a good father, instead of getting a fitness card, it is better to spend time with your children.
Companionship is more important than fitness for children, and it is better for fathers to have time to take their children more than anything else.
The majority of netizens have praised Papi sauce, calling her "sober in the world".
Writer Han Han once said, in fact, I have always felt that the so-called love is companionship, and there is not much else.
Parents' love for their children also needs to be expressed in companionship.
In the growth of children, the companionship of parents to their children is more important than providing superior material conditions.
Papi sauce said that the feelings between parents and children are not natural, but are gradually cultivated in the companionship of day after day.
As parents, both materially and spiritually, we want to give our children the best within their capabilities.
But there is no end to material pursuits, and every parent can make 100% efforts for their children in terms of spirit.
The growth of children must not only have a certain material foundation, but also need to be carefully accompanied by parents, and companionship is the best nourishment for children's growth.
What are the benefits of regular parental companionship for the growth of children?
Some time ago, the star Tong Dawei posted photos of accompanying children in Weibo.
On weekends, he put down his work in his busy schedule, accompanied his two daughters to the outdoors, challenged difficult sports, and spent a pleasant weekend together.
The smiles that fill the children's faces are the most beautiful gifts that their fathers have given them.
Dad accompanies them with heart, and the children feel the strong care and love from dad, and the father's love makes them full of heart, brave and strong.
Huo Qigang and Guo Jingjing are also a parent who are willing to spend time with their children.
On weekends, they lead their children to the countryside to pluck grass and plant seedlings, and feel the joy of labor.
The couple took a break from their busy schedules and led their children to the streets to do public welfare, so that they understood the sense of social responsibility that citizens should have.
In fact, for these star families, these things can be spent to find others to do, but they have chosen to do it themselves.
Companionship is the best love a parent has for their children.
Teacher Fan Deng once told a small story.
Once, when he was doing dictation tasks with his son, he read dictation while holding his mobile phone to work, and the result was that the child cried when he wrote it.
It turned out that the child felt that his father was only walking in the form with him, and he was not really willing to spend time and energy on him.
The child said he didn't like such companionship.
Teacher Fan Deng realized that his behavior had caused harm to the child, immediately put down the mobile phone, and gave all his attention to the child, and the child also responded to the father happily, and quickly completed the learning task.
Afterwards, Teacher Fan expressed his apologies to the child in time, and the child understood that his father was busy at work, which was not intentional, not only deeply understood the father, but also decided that he should take the father as an example and be a hard-working and positive person.
The companionship of parents is conducive to establishing a good parent-child relationship and allowing children to experience the strong love from their parents.
A good parent-child relationship allows children to take the initiative to learn the advantages of their parents, help them establish self-confidence in interpersonal communication, and build a strong heart.
What harm does it do to the child if parents who cannot accompany their children regularly?
Professor Li Meijin, a well-known expert in children's criminal psychology, once told a case.
In order to give his children a better life, a father went out to work shortly after the birth of his children.
The child grows up slowly, and the father is always absent.
When the child reaches the age of 12, the father works in the city where he steals.
Until one time, before the child was sent to labor camp for theft, the father was called by the local police station to deal with the child's affairs.
Facing the almost strange father, the child glanced at the father and squeezed out a few words fiercely: The reason why I stole was to let you understand that where you can earn money, I can too.
I don't need your money, I want your care, your company.
It was not until that moment that the father understood that what he had worked so hard to give to his child for so many years was not what the child wanted at all, and what the child really wanted was precisely what he ignored.
Humanistic psychologists believe that when the individual is in an environment of acceptance, care, love and respect, the individual has the potential for positive development.
Children who lack the company of their parents will feel that their parents do not love themselves, are not cared for or accepted, lack a sense of security in their hearts, lose the motivation for positive development, and embark on the road of self-abandonment.
Regardless of the age of the child, they all hope to have their parents together, and the companionship of parents can bring a full sense of security to the child.
Without parents around, he or she may have physical and psychological problems. Some problems can be remedied, and some problems, once caused, cannot be reversed.
In fact, the needs of children are very simple, not how rich material conditions, but when lonely, there are parents' arms; when they are afraid and timid, they have the encouraging eyes of their parents.
Dong Qing said affectionately in "Readers": Companionship means that someone is willing to give you the most beautiful thing, that is, time.
Companionship is the deepest love for children, the most affectionate confession.
Child psychologist Erikson divides the process of children's growth and development into five stages:
The first stage: about 0-18 months is the infant period
Stage 2: 18 months to early 4 years of age
The third stage: 4-6 years old is the preschool
The fourth stage: 6-12 years old is the school age
The fifth stage: 12-18 years old is puberty
Although the needs and priorities of children's growth and development vary from period to period, the development of self-awareness and the need for spiritual companionship are always present at the spiritual level.
The effective companion effect in psychology believes that children feel the attention and attention of their parents because of the companionship of their parents, and children are often able to perform better with a positive attitude.
What can parents do to make their children enjoy their parents' company?
1. When accompanying, we should respect the child as much as possible and let the child decide more.
In the book "My Career is a Mother", the fruit farmer said that the respect and understanding of children are reflected everywhere, which is the basic project of love.
When we are with our children, we should express respect and love for our children.
Make games and let your child set the rules of the game; go out to eat, let the child order food; go out to play, let the child choose where they want to go and the mode of transportation they like.
These little permits and privileges in life are the best interpretation of our love for children.
2. While respecting children, we must learn to look at children with appreciation and pay more attention to the advantages of children.
Educator Spencer said that when a child feels loved and trusted, miracles will soon appear in front of you.
At home for the New Year, I accompanied my nine-year-old daughter to do handbooks, and at the beginning the finished product she made was very general, and after several attempts, it was still unsatisfactory.
I tried my best to find a few highlights in each work to encourage her, saying that the color scheme was beautiful and praising the details carefully.
She originally wanted to give up, and under the pursuit of my rainbow fart, she continued to explore. After a few months, the handwriting of the daughter was very beautiful.
When children are disappointed and lack confidence, parents should point out the advantages of TA in time and let TA know that they are not as bad as they think.
With encouragement and affirmation from parents, children can build confidence, bravely overcome setbacks and obstacles, and not be afraid of difficulties and troubles in life.
3, accompany the child to be attentive, can not take the form.
Education expert Yin Jianli said that when accompanying children, we should use our hearts, not our strength.
While playing with mobile phones, while accompanying children to do games; while doing housework, while prevaricating the needs of children, that is not real companionship.
Crouch down and listen, patiently accompany the TA, and look at things from the perspective of the TA, in order to truly integrate into the child's world, this is the real companionship.
Grandma Moses wrote in "Life Can Be Repeated At Any Time" that companionship is the best love, which can resist all the hardness of the world and warm all the years of life.
With the love and care of parents, the child has the most precious wealth in the world, which can make him brave and strong in the future life path.
Author's Profile: Zhou Xiaoya, Columnist of Fushu, Article: Evolution of Parents, the copyright of this article belongs to Fushu, unauthorized, may not be reproduced, infringement must be investigated, Fushu 2018 launched a new book "Good Life"