Regarding finding a partner, there is a saying that says, "a blessed daughter is not as good as a blessed family", a woman's blessing is mostly related to marriage, a good family, will make a person more and more blessed, otherwise, it will lose their own blessings.
But in real life, many women will ignore each other's families when choosing the other half, but only care about whether men are good to her and whether they love her.
If the other party can love her all his life and be good to her, it is good, but the reality is a luxury.
In this world, no matter how good people are to you, it is difficult to be consistent, let alone the good and love that is shown from the beginning just to get it.
Only a person's values and character will not be easily changed, and this is inseparable from the original family of a family.
The influence of a person's original family habits on a person's values is deep-rooted, and perhaps the acquired environment will change a person, but once it encounters a situation of interest, when choosing and dealing with it, it will still subconsciously follow the lifestyle of the parents.
There are some habits of the original family, if a person has a strong dislike, although it will not repeat the same mistakes, but it may make him go to the other extreme.
For marriage, a person's stable emotions and correct values will manage a marriage well, and in the face of problems in marriage and contradictions between husband and wife, the correct method can be taken to solve them.
Marriage can not be without love, but the love here does not refer to a feeling, not to the other party's temporary good to you, but to unswervingly and consistently cherish your attitude, and this needs to be based on stable emotions and correct values, which has such love to stand the test of time and reality.
Many women tell me that they regret marrying such a man, either blaming themselves for not seeing each other clearly before marriage, or blaming each other for pretending too well, in fact, as long as you observe his original family, you will find the problem, but many women think that marriage is a matter of two people, and it has nothing to do with each other's parents, thus ignoring each other's original family.
In fact, this is irresponsible behavior towards yourself.
A person has more or less parental values, which does not mean that there will be no living together, and the relationship between parents and children is inextricably linked from the moment of birth, and it will not be completely unrelated because of distance, or marriage.
Parents can influence a person's values, but marriage can't.
Therefore, to find a partner, we must look at each other's family, and when we encounter a family with these three habits, remember to stay away:
01
There is no fairness between siblings
There is a word called "prosperity of people", which means that the more children in a family, the more filial piety to their parents, the more people who dedicate themselves to the family, the family will inevitably live better and better, but the more people, the more contradictions will mean.
Where there are so-called people, there are contradictions, not to mention families with many children.
For such a family, if you want to maintain a harmonious and loving family atmosphere, parents should try to level a bowl of water, not favor one over the other, otherwise it is easy to centrifuge, and the family will inevitably be in constant dispute.
If a woman marries into such a family, she will inevitably fall into such a dispute.
Although each has its own family, as long as there is a relationship, there will be contradictions and conflicts, and it is impossible to completely stay out of the matter.
When a woman looks for a partner, she must look at the brotherhood relationship of the other party.
If there is unfairness between brothers and sisters, marriages are inevitably frustrated.
Once a female reader complained to me, saying that she and her husband quarreled every day for the brothers in her husband's family, and slowly, the couple's feelings also weakened, making her more and more disappointed in her marriage.
Since marriage, her husband's brothers have always come to the door to trouble them, either to borrow money, or to ask for connections, originally she felt that between brothers, it is okay to help, but this is in the eyes of the other party, but it is taken for granted, not only to make progress, but also not even the minimum of gratitude, which makes her more and more dissatisfied, the relationship between husband and wife is also in jeopardy.
Thinking about it now, she admits that she should have known before she got married, but she didn't take it to heart.
Before marriage, she knew that her in-laws had always favored the younger son, but the in-laws' statement was that the eldest son had the ability and did not need them to worry.
At that time, she still felt that her husband had the ability, and she felt very proud, but now it seems that she has thought the problem too simply.
Although there is no absolute fairness in this world, if you can't even do relative fairness, most of them are selfish.
At this time, even if her husband understands this, it is difficult to completely break off relations with the original family, one is that it has been suppressed for many years, the other is that it has long developed a sense of selfless dedication to the family, and the other is that blood relations and nurturing grace cannot be separated.
If a woman marries such a man, she can only share the pressure with the man and bear the wind and rain brought by such a family.
02
Bad habits
Good living habits often play a very big role in promoting a person's life, otherwise, it will not only hinder a person's progress, but also push a person to the edge of darkness.
And the influence of a family's living habits on a person is also the same.
Good family living habits will make a person grow into an excellent person, otherwise, it will make a person grow up with the same bad habits.
Some people will choose to hide their bad habits in order to integrate into the environment of the day after tomorrow, but they have not changed, and at the critical moment, they will still expose their nature.
Even if it is not affected by the bad habits of parents, the troubles and costs that the original family brings will often continue to the younger generations, and as children, it is often difficult to ignore their parents.
If a woman marries such a family, it means that she has to bear everything with the other party.
Such a person has no way and no ability to run his own small family and marriage.
With such a person, you must be prepared to take risks and encounters.
But in real life, some women do not think so, thinking that the person they marry has nothing to do with the other party's original family, and the result is not only not to get happiness, but also to ruin their own lives.
Neighbor aunt, is such a woman, when she was young, she felt that the man was good to her and self-motivated, knowing that the other party's father was good at gambling, and resolutely followed the other party, she wholeheartedly followed each other, but the other party's father asked them to take money twice, and finally let the son make a guarantee, and the family's life fell into trouble.
She blamed her husband, but he said it was his father and he couldn't ignore it.
Slowly, the warmth of the past is lost between husband and wife, and the marriage comes to an end.
Although there are no perfect people in this world, everyone has more or less bad habits, but some bad habits can not be touched, can not have, once stained, can no longer quit, not only ruin themselves, but also bring trouble to the people around them, and even ruin the lives of the people around them.
03:
Husband and wife get along with each other lack respect and are often reprimanded
Whether the marriage is good or not depends on the way the husband and wife get along.
Although different couples have different ways of getting along, happy couples must show mutual respect and mutual gratitude.
In a happy family, whether it is a husband or a wife, the status is the same, but the division of labor is different.
But in some families, the status of husbands and wives is not the same, the husband is always on top, often lacks the minimum respect for his wife, and some are often dissatisfied and reprimanded.
So we go to observe each other's original family, in addition to looking at the division of labor of each other's parents, but also to see the words and deeds of each other's parents when they get along.
Because when a person looks down on the other party in his heart and lacks equal respect for the other party, his words and deeds are often full of disdain and contempt, which cannot be concealed.
Couples who respect each other must have love, and growing up in such a family, they will often form good values, and they will respect the other half of the future, otherwise, they will either disrespect the other half like their own fathers, or like their own fathers, they lack the minimum respect for their mothers, either thinking that this is what the mother should bear, or thinking that the mother is cowardly and incompetent.
If a woman marries such a man, she must be prepared for the same fate as the other woman's mother.
But in real life, some women obviously realize that there will be such a possibility, or they will choose to marry each other, think that the other party is good to her, say that they love her, and are different from each other's father, that is because they have not yet fully obtained it.
If you want to see a person, it is not to see how good he is to you when he is happy, but to see whether he can be good to you as always no matter what he encounters after he gets it.
There is a saying that goes like this: "A man's greatest blessing is to have a good wife, and a woman's greatest blessing is to marry a man who knows how to respect women."
Fathers who know how to respect their wives can often teach a truly kind and upright child, which is exactly what is called teaching by example.
Therefore, if the other family has the habit of disrespecting the wife, it should be kept away.
Finding a partner and staying away from the family with these three habits is the necessary wisdom.
Marriage cannot be maintained by feelings, and only with the blessing of correct values can it withstand the test of reality and be able to maintain it for a long time.
Some people say that choosing the marriage partner and looking at the other party's family is very snobbish, in fact, it is not, marriage is a very realistic thing, if it is regarded as a castle in the air, then most of such marriages can not withstand the test of reality.
Sometimes, the necessary condition is not snobbery, but responsibility for oneself and respect for marriage.