In March 2016, on the People's Square in Hefei, Anhui Province, 6-year-old twins Zhizhi and Huihui held the hand of 67-year-old Sheng Hailin, looked up at the sky and shouted excitedly:
Mom, Mom, look, big plane!
The people around them heard the twins' address to Sheng Hailin, and they couldn't help but throw doubtful and surprised glances at Sheng Hailin.
For this kind of obscure or direct gaze, Sheng Hailin has long been accustomed to it.
Two years ago, at the same location, when Sheng Hailin was playing with her twins who had just learned to run, an old man about sheng Hailin's age chatted with her:
Is this your granddaughter with you?
Sheng Hailin shook her head slightly, and the old man then asked: "So you are your grandmother?"
Sheng Hailin continued to shake her head, and after a moment, she replied slightly bitterly: I am their mother.
Hearing such words, the word surprise was directly expressed on the old man's face, and after the reaction, the embarrassed old man walked away with sloppy eyes.
In fact, Sheng Hailin is the oldest mother in China, risking death to give birth to her twin daughters at the age of 60.
So why did she choose to give birth at an advanced age? What is their life like?
(Sheng Hailin)
The unexpected came
Looking at the twin daughters who were bouncing around in front of her, the picture in Sheng Hailin's mind couldn't help but return to the sixth day of the first lunar month in 2009.
In the early morning, Sheng Hailin received a phone call that made her feel like she was falling apart.
On the other end of the phone, the cries of her relatives came, and Sheng Hailin heard her daughter Tingting in a car accident in Chizhou.
Suddenly, Sheng Hailin and her husband had difficulty accepting this bad news, their daughter had only been married for less than half a year, how could there be a car accident?
The couple did not have time to pack up anything, and in a panic embarked on the road to Chizhou. However, there are few taxis on the sixth day of the first lunar month.
It took nearly three hours for Sheng Hailin and her husband to rush to Chizhou, but they saw their daughter's body in the hospital.
(Sheng Hailin's daughter Tingting)
At the same time, he knew the real cause of death of his daughter Tingting: gas poisoning. It turned out that in order to prevent their mood swings from fluctuating too much, the relatives had another accident on the way and told a white lie.
Looking at her daughter, who was lying on the hospital bed and could no longer get up and shout "Mommy and Daddy", Sheng Hailin completely collapsed.
She hugged Tingting and shouted loudly: My daughter, what can you do after you leave for your parents!
But no matter how much she shouted, Tingting would not wake up again. After burying their daughter, The Sheng Hailin couple who returned home lost the motivation to continue their lives.
Sheng Hailin was in a trance all day, and every 5:40 p.m., she would chant, "I have to hurry up and cook, my daughter will be back soon."
But when Sheng Hailin returned to God, her heart felt as uncomfortable as being cooked in hot oil.
Because of her husband's long-term work in the army, Sheng Hailin had only one daughter at the age of 30.
Sheng Hailin attaches great importance to Tingting's education and is also very willing to cultivate Tingting's interests and hobbies.
In 1987, 7-year-old Tingting only said "the piano sounds very good", and Sheng Hailin spent 5,000 yuan to buy a piano for her.
Sheng Hailin and his wife spent immeasurable efforts to raise Tingting as an adult and send her into the marriage hall.
Years ago, Sheng Hailin had planned to make time to travel with Tingting, but who could have imagined that the accident would come earlier than tomorrow.
Sheng Hailin also wanted to follow her daughter for a hundred years, but looking at her husband who had poured alcohol into death every day since her daughter left, she was really distressed and could not give up.
Some relatives and friends have advised Sheng Hailin to adopt a child, and Sheng Hailin has not failed to put it into action, but the reality is always full of twists and turns.
Sheng Hailin, who had been delayed in adopting a child, had a bold and surprising idea: she could have children again.
Break through the ghost door again
Sheng Hailin's desire to have another child has become stronger and stronger with the passage of time, but she is also very clear as a doctor herself:
It is impossible for a manopausal self to have children again, and the only way is to use the power of technology to try to manage babies.
At the same time, Sheng Hailin is more aware that the success rate of IVF is only 20%-30%, which is only lower for her 60-year-old self.
But Sheng Hailin desperately needs a child to fill the emptiness in her heart and to miss her deceased daughter Tingting.
After making up her mind, Sheng Hailin began to contact the fertility experts she knew closely, and was unexpectedly rejected.
As a result, Sheng Hailin traveled to Beijing, Shanghai, Nanjing, Qingdao and other places, as long as the reproductive hospitals that are a little famous in the industry have left The footprints of Sheng Hailin.
(Sheng Hailin)
But as long as Sheng Hailin said that she was a 60-year-old woman who wanted to undergo IVF surgery, she was rejected by all the doctors.
A doctor in Nanjing also gave an example to try to dissuade Sheng Hailin: A 52-year-old woman had undergone IVF surgery and successfully conceived.
But just two months pregnant, she asked to remove the child from her belly, because her body could not withstand the huge load of pregnancy.
Sheng Hailin is older than her and faces more difficult problems. But Sheng Hailin's heart was already decided, and no one would turn back if she persuaded her.
This hospital is not willing to do it, then replace it with another one, and Sheng Hailin believes that there will be a hospital that will grant her request.
About half a year after Tingting's death, Sheng Hailin finally found a hospital that was willing to accompany her to try IVF surgery: the Fertility Center of the 105 Hospital of the People's Liberation Army of Hefei.
After finding a doctor willing to operate on her, the next step was to get her husband's consent.
The husband has always disagreed with Sheng Hailin to take this risk, even if the child is successfully born, the couple can take care of the child for several years.
In the face of her husband who did not let go of his mouth, Sheng Hailin threw herself on her knees directly in front of her husband, crying and begging:
As long as you quit drinking for three months, do this IVF operation, if it is not successful, I will give up, and you will fulfill my wish!
The husband did not expect that Sheng Hailin's obsession had reached such a deep point, so he had to agree.
Since her husband agreed, Sheng Hailin followed the doctor's advice and began to take medicine and injections, and her physical condition also changed in a bad direction.
(Sheng Hailin)
Due to the excessive side effects of the drug, Sheng Hailin had symptoms other than cancer and tumors: puffiness, pain, and heavy bleeding.
For three months, Sheng Hailin needed four injections. In order to reduce walking, Sheng Hailin chose to inject herself at home.
Because the injection of progesterone injections is oily, Sheng Hailin herself cannot complete the injection, so she has to let her husband, who has no experience in injections at all, to help.
Every time the needle was injected, the husband was very nervous, and when he was nervous, he would unconsciously push the needle into the meat with all his strength, coupled with the shaking of his hands, Sheng Hailin felt the pain of the needle stirring in the body.
Almost every injection, the potion and blood will flow to the bed. Four stitches down, Sheng Hailin's buttocks on both sides bulged up a high bag as big as a bun.
One day in October 2009, Sheng Hailin, who had menstruation again after three months of nursing, underwent IVF surgery.
Three fertilized eggs were implanted in Sheng Hailin's womb, and one of them was automatically miscarried, and in this way, Sheng Hailing began a longer and more difficult road to production.
It is not easy for ordinary people to conceive twins, not to mention Sheng Hailin, who is already 60 years old.
Vomiting, pregnancy toxemia, acid reflux, puffiness, almost all the symptoms that appeared during pregnancy Sheng Hailin tasted it over and over again.
Even because of the fear of miscarriage, Sheng Hailin has been resisting the desire to cough constantly because of acid reflux.
By the time she was 7 months pregnant, sheng hailin had a terrible 1700 clearance protein in her body, more than 4 times the normal value.
Sheng Hailing also had more and more difficulty breathing because of the growth of the two fetuses, and in the later stage, she needed to inhale oxygen twice a day.
In May 2010, Sheng Hailin was admitted to the hospital, and then drew nearly nine pounds of standing water from her body and injected thirteen human blood proteins.
In the middle of the month, the doctor repeatedly recommended that Sheng Hailin have a caesarean section, but Sheng Hailin wanted the two children to stay in the womb for a while longer, which would help the child's health.
On the 18th day of entering the hospital, Sheng Hailin finally couldn't hold on and asked for a caesarean section. At 9:05 a.m. the next morning, Sheng Hailing gave birth to two twin daughters.
The two daughters were named "Wu Shangzhi" and "Wu Shanghui", which means "supreme wisdom".
Due to premature birth, Zhizhi and Huihui weighed only 3.7 pounds and 2.9 pounds respectively.
(Newborn Zhizhi and Huihui)
Before Sheng Hailin and his wife could feel the joy of their new life, they were soon overwhelmed by the overwhelming costs.
Don't dare to grow old, don't dare to stop
Before deciding to try IVF, Sheng Hailin did not fail to consider the financial aspects.
Her and her husband's salaries are not low, and even if they retire, they have a total of fifteen thousand pensions per month.
Although Tingting's marriage, house purchase, burial and other issues have been spent a lot of money before, sheng Hailin's savings over the years have made sheng hailin think that she can take care of her two daughters equally well.
However, she still ignores many real problems.
As soon as the twins were born, they were sent to the pregnancy box for monitoring, and the cost was 6,000 yuan a day. The two daughters were in the nursery for 47 and 37 days, respectively.
This fee alone made Sheng Hailin and his wife unbearable.
Sheng Hailin originally thought that social security could reimburse part of the cost, but after really understanding it, she learned that the couple had already passed the age of maternity insurance.
This means that all the expenses in the hospital need to be paid by Sheng Hailin and his wife, and people who have not borrowed money for most of their lives have to open their mouths to relatives and friends.
But most of the people around them could not understand Sheng Hailin's approach, and there were very few people who were willing to help. Desperate, Sheng Hailin could only sell the stock purchased by 360,000 at a super low price of 90,000.
By the time Sheng Hailing was finally discharged from the hospital, there were only a few thousand pieces left on the couple's account.
After returning home, there are "chicken feathers" waiting to be processed. Sheng Hailing's husband was not in good health and had long since lost his ability to work after retirement.
Two people have calculated an account, the housework has to be done, 1500 a month, the child must be taken care of, and can not be wronged by the child, you have to ask a good sister-in-law, 6000 a month.
Coupled with the "Sanlu milk powder" incident that lasted for a while, the milk powder that Sheng Hailin gave the children to drink was imported, a can of 300, and diapers were not wet 50.
Zero and zero have finally come down, and it is impossible to live this day alone by relying on the couple's pension.
So, when the twins were only three months old, Sheng Hailin was hired by a company to go out to give a speech on health care.
In order to make more money, let the children's future be guaranteed, and reduce the burden on the society, Sheng Hailin almost spent her life at work.
In a month's time, Sheng Hailin spent twenty days running back and forth on the plane.
Once, more exaggeratedly, Sheng Hailin ran eleven cities in ten days.
Such a strong work force is unbearable for even young people, and Sheng Hailin's body, which has not yet fully recovered, has problems: nausea, dizziness, weakness.
Often after a lecture, Sheng Hailin's legs trembled and could not walk.
But Sheng Hailin did not dare to fall down, once she fell, she was likely to never see the two lovely babies in the family again.
Due to the long period of work outside, Zhizhi and Huihui lack the company of their mothers, and the closer state of being closer to the nanny at home makes Sheng Hailin feel bitter in her heart.
Therefore, as long as Sheng Hailin returns home, even if she is tired and has no energy, she will try her best to play with the two daughters who come up.
Later, as Sheng Hailin's salary rose, the family's economic conditions were not as tense as before, and Sheng Hailin had more time to stay at home than before.
In this way, she gradually discovered many unsatisfactory things in her life, and it has affected her psychological state.
Once, Sheng Hailin bumped into the nanny at home secretly using her cosmetics, which made Sheng Hailin feel unprecedented anger.
After digging deeper and understanding, Sheng Hailin learned about the evil deeds of more and more nannies.
Not only do they steal the specialties they send home from all over the country, but the babies are old enough to eat complementary foods, and they just blindly brew milk powder.
In order to find a satisfactory nanny, Sheng Hailin changed more than thirty times before and after. What makes her feel even more tired is that the nanny can't take care of the children all day and all year round.
When it came to the Spring Festival, the nannies all returned home, and the two children could only be taken care of by Sheng Hailin and his wife.
Usually, during the holidays, children are mostly sick. Zhizhi and Huihui may be twins, and as long as one person is sick, the other person will also react.
During the Spring Festival, it was difficult to get a taxi, and Sheng Hailin and his wife had no choice but to call 120.
While waiting for the car, Sheng Hailin held her crying daughter in her arms and suddenly felt that she should not have given birth to the child at all.
They worked so hard to give birth to them, but they only knew how to cry and cry!
Sheng Hailin said in her heart: No, I really don't have the energy to take them, I have to find a way to deal with them."
Sheng Hailin looked at the courtyard wall, and a strong impulse to throw the child out gushed out of her heart, outside the courtyard wall was Huangshan Road, the main road of Hefei City, as long as the child was thrown out, all suffering would be over.
Just when Sheng Hailin put the impulse into her heart, a sentence from her husband suddenly came from her ear, "The car is coming", waking her up.
Sheng Hailin, who had woken up, was very shocked and afraid, and quickly held the child tightly in her arms. She realized that she may be suffering from postpartum depression and needed medical attention to adjust her condition.
But the immediate priority is the health of the two daughters. When the ambulance came, Sheng Hailin whispered a kind apology:
I'm sorry, I can't get a taxi, so I have to call an ambulance, take us to the hospital, and use it as a taxi.
A 120 ambulance was originally going to cost 200 yuan, but the medical staff saw that the two elderly people with two small children were really distressed, so they only charged 30 yuan.
After this incident, Sheng Hailin completely understood, she tried her best to give birth to Zhizhi and Huihui, not to complain about life, but to pursue a better life.
In order not to let Zhizhi and Huihui feel that they look particularly different from the mothers of children of the same age, Sheng Hailin took part of her energy to dress up and maintain herself.
Use high-end cosmetics, wear bright clothes, and maintain your figure and adjust your mood by constantly exercising.
In addition, Sheng Hailin knows that the tooth and mouth problems of the elderly must also be paid attention to, otherwise poor digestion will cause a series of gastrointestinal problems.
Therefore, she also deliberately spent tens of thousands of dollars to do dental care.
(Sheng Hailin sees a dentist)
All of this Sheng Hailin did was due to the fact that she did not dare to grow old and did not dare to stop. She wants to accompany the growth of children more, longer and longer.
Live to be 104 years old!
When the twin daughters were about three or four years old, one day, Sheng Hailin's husband noticed a headline while reading the newspaper: The happiest age for people should be 74 years old.
After Sheng Hailin learned from her husband, she thought about it: the birth of twins ushered in an important turning point in her life.
Then now I am the "year of establishment", and if I push back 40 years, the happiest time for me should be the age of 104.
So she set herself a goal, that is, to try to live to the age of 104.
At that time, the two daughters were also adults, and they could feel the happiest stage of life without any worries.
This time, the husband also very much supported and encouraged Sheng Hailin's idea: leaving aside natural and man-made disasters and irresistible factors, according to today's scientific theories about human life expectancy.
As long as we pay attention to health, stay in good shape, and live to be more than a hundred years old, it is not a big problem.
After the couple had new goals and motivations, they paid more attention to the maintenance of the body than ever before.
But the husband's love of drinking is really difficult to quit for a while and a half.
More than once, he passed out because of insufficient blood supply to his brain due to drinking alcohol.
(Right Husband of Sheng Hailin)
Fortunately, Zhizhi and Huihui are very sensible and stable, and every time they can find out what is wrong with their father in time and tell the adults in the family or dial 120.
Sheng Hailin was very troubled by her husband's unrepentant stink, until her husband had drinking incontinence and changed three quilts, Sheng Hailin made a serious confession with her husband:
Now, you are my biggest burden, but you are also the father of the children, they can't do without you, for the sake of the children, you must quit drinking this time.
Subsequently, Sheng Hailin also told the children that they must persuade their fathers to quit the bad habit of drinking.
Zhizhi and Huihui are also very obedient, as long as they see their father walking towards the bottle, they will run over and take the wine away, and say: Daddy don't drink, Zhizhi and Huihui are very worried.
In this way, after more than half a year, Sheng Hailin's husband actually gave up drinking, which made her feel very moved.
Nowadays, due to the epidemic, Sheng Hailin's opportunities to go out to give speeches have decreased, and the time spent at home with her children has become more.
Moreover, Sheng Hailin also followed the trend and opened a Douyin account in September of the previous year. Her profile reads:
At the age of 61, she gave birth to twin daughters, and may all the mother's little angels be healthy and safe.
As of February 2022, Sheng Hailin's Douyin account has released a total of 37 statuses, most of which are the daily life of Sheng Hailin's family.
The twin daughters have been in the sixth grade of primary school, and through the video, we can understand that Sheng Hailin has cultivated Zhizhi and Huihui very well.
(Wisdom and Wisdom)
Not only can he play the piano and dance, but he is also very industrious and cheerful.
And in the video, Sheng Hailin can also twist with the music, although her husband's legs and feet are not very flexible, but life is not a big problem.
Sheng Hailin's each video has fewer than tens of thousands of hits and as many as hundreds of thousands, and she already has 200,000 fans on Douyin, as well as business.
Overall, Sheng Hailin is very satisfied and happy today.
Conclusion
After Sheng Hailin's story was widely reported, many people with the same situation came to seek help.
But unexpectedly, he got the advice from Sheng Hailin to think twice.
After all, not everyone has the same medical knowledge, strong will and good physical fitness as Sheng Hailin, as well as the assets that can support the family.
Sheng Hailin's deeds are not to let everyone follow suit, but to hope that people can truly understand: everything should start from reality, do not embarrass yourself.
Things are uncertain, and happiness is the most important thing.
bibliography
- Zhang Yuxin." "Lost Independence", "Mother Sheng Hailin: The Unbearable Weight of Life[J], Modern Women, 2014, (No. 6).
- Min Jing. Sixty-year-old mothers who lost their independence have twins, and dare not grow old for the sake of their children[J].Marriage and Family (Temperament Reader), 2014, (No. 4).
- EasyDa. For the love of the strong line, the year of the flower nail to be a mother again[J].Happiness, 2016, (No. 16).