Two days ago, a song I really like turned red.
The Rose Boy.
This song was originally sung by Jolin Tsai, lyrics by Jolin Tsai and A Xin, and co-authored by Chen Yiru lyrics. Mayday 2019 launched a cover version. There are different cover versions that follow.
I still remember that at the Bird's Nest Concert on Mayday in 2019, when this song was sung, the scene was rose red, and the lighting and stage effects were amazing.
The version sung by Zhou Shen and GAI shows a different feeling. More people know the story behind this song.
In 2000, a junior high school student named Ye Yongzhi in Pingtung County, Taiwan Province, collapsed in the school toilet, bleeding profusely. After the first aid failed, the young boy died.
He was a handsome, gentle boy, and because of this, he was bullied by other classmates on campus. Someone wanted to take off his pants to see if he was a girl, and someone wanted to beat him.
Even the school's teachers advised Ye Yongzhi's mother to take her child to the hospital.
However, in the eyes of Ye Yongzhi's mother, he is a good child who is obedient, sensible, kind, and knows how to understand his parents.
In 2018, jolin Tsai found Mayday's Ah Xin based on his experience and co-created the song "Rose Boy".
Subsequently, this song won the "Song of the Year" at the 30th Taiwan Golden Melody Awards in 2019.
At the award ceremony, Jolin Tsai said this:
"Ye Yongzhi reminded me that in any situation I can become a certain minority, so I must use empathy to love anyone around me." This song is dedicated to all those who once thought that you had no chance or choice, and you must remember to choose yourself and support yourself. ”
This is also the origin of such a lyric in the original song lyrics.
In Zhou Shen's version, this lyric was deleted. The idea of the song has also shifted from social issues such as sexism and school violence to more personal expression, telling the hardships of personal growth, and more inspirational.
Regarding such changes, it is a matter of opinion whether it is better or worse. A netizen summed it up quite well:
The original version comforts the people after death, and this comforts the living "Ye Yongzhi".
Sexism has long been a public issue that has been closely related to our lives.
What many people don't realise is that in a patriarchal society, not only women will suffer from gender discrimination, but men will also suffer from sexism.
When I was in elementary school, there was also a boy in the class who was very similar to "Ye Yongzhi", named Xiao Wu. I was under the impression that he wore thick glasses, always spoke softly, and cocked his little thumb.
When I talked to Fa Xiao about this classmate, I was very impressed with him. I posted a novel, he may have gender cognitive impairment, physically a boy, but psychologically he feels like a girl.
Although Xiao Wu has good grades, he will still be bullied by other male classmates, saying that he is "girly" and "dead guy". I remember once he accidentally bumped into a boy, and the boy patted himself on the body with disgust and pushed Xiao Wu away.
In everyone's eyes, boys who are playing, crazy, and full of smelly sweat are normal, while boys who are quiet and quiet, Sven, and boys who like to flip ropes and hopscotch like girls are not normal.
Including at that time, I was also a boy who didn't like to talk and didn't play much. I remember that on the classmate's record, there was a girl with four words written on the back, "Mr. Noble", followed by a series of question marks.
It seems that a boy who is not "masculine" and has a soft and weak appearance should be questioned about his gender.
"Boys must have the appearance of boys", such a sentence runs through the growth history of Chinese boys.
From a young age, he would be discriminated against by the whole class because he was more "crepe" or he loved to cry.
Later, because of the mask, it may be said by others to be a "mother cannon".
White-looking, with a sharper voice and no hair on his legs, he is also said to be "not like a man."
In life, if you can't move a heavy object, you will be ridiculed "Is it a man?" ”
Emotionally, it is a conventional etiquette to take the initiative to pay when going out to dinner with girls, and if you propose AA, it will be considered "not enough men".
And you must maintain the initiative, take the initiative to pursue, take the initiative to be humble, and take the initiative to admit mistakes, otherwise you dare not have responsibility, not enough belly, in the final analysis, it is "not enough men".
There is also the fact that you can't cry, otherwise it will be regarded as "not enough men".
But in fact, these are gender stereotypes.
In the traditional concept, the stereotype of "good man" is: strong, rough, capable, dedicated to the cause, strong, responsible, protective of the weak, reliable, etc.
The stereotype of a "good woman" is: gentle, thrifty, family-oriented, hard-working, dedicated to the family, introverted, quiet, and weak.
Once someone fails to meet people's inherent perceptions of gender, it is easy to be criticized.
Nowadays, there will be a phenomenon of confrontation between men and women in public opinion. In fact, there is no need for each other to regard the other as an "imaginary enemy".
In essence, men are gender-discriminated against and women are disrespected. Women are discriminated against on the basis of sex, and men increase the burden.
For example, when we scorn a soft and weak boy, behind it is the context of "men should be strong", corresponding to "women should be weak".
Subtly, everyone agrees that "masculinity is strong, femininity is weak" such an equivalence.
This can lead to some women looking down on "not manly" men at the same time, in essence, looking down on themselves.
Because they have subconsciously felt that women are weak and men are strong. Only the weak will ask for the protection and tolerance of the strong.
Including "you are responsible for making money to support the family, I am responsible for beautiful flowers", which is actually a sweet lie.
Of course, girls will feel more or less happy when they say this sentence from their boyfriends. But the meaning behind it is that women realize their own value is to be a value, giving up more possibilities in the workplace. This not only persecutes women, but also persecutes men, making men's life pressure inexplicably increase.
These words, or in the eyes of some women, are not taken for granted. It is undeniable that women are more gender-discriminated in a patriarchal society than men.
But that's not the reason for saying things like "you don't understand" or "you don't understand." It is also a wall of peaceful communication and understanding between the sexes.
For example, as a man, it is true that I cannot have the same deep feelings as women about the workplace discrimination and age anxiety and fertility anxiety that women face, but this is not that I do not want to understand, but from the perspective of different sexes, I do have completely different feelings and views on the same thing.
Therefore, since the estrangement is natural and unavoidable, we should face it squarely and find ways to make the wall thinner, rather than blindly creating antagonism and pulling away.
Regarding women's independence, on the road to breaking gender discrimination and fighting for more rights and freedoms, there has never been a winner or loser in the relationship with men.
In a sexist society, most of them lose, except for a very small number of profitable and a small number of transcendent beings.
Just as girls complain that when looking for a job, the unit tends to find a man, but these units only use boys as coolies;
Girls will be anxious about older childbearing, but the corresponding boys will also make it their natural responsibility to support their families. Even though many women are now financially independent, men and women are completely different in their understanding of "independence."
I don't understand the rise of women's rights in order to win enough rights for women in a patriarchal society to achieve equality between the two sexes as much as possible. It is still necessary to completely overthrow the patriarchal society and establish a society in which women are superior to men.
If it is the latter, I can only say that the road is very long. If it is the former, I would like to say that in a patriarchal society, women are subjected to sexism, facing the opposite not only men, but also women, and even the context of the whole society.
This "enemy" is invisible, and it is not by dissing a certain group (such as the national man in the mouth of the female boxer) that can obtain rights and freedoms.
Among them, the most profitable is the most powerful group of women, who rely on the establishment of "female spokespersons" and earn a lot of money by selling emotions, but for the majority of women, the dilemma they face still has to face, it is still difficult to move under the shackles of traditional concepts, and they will increase their anger because the gap between the slogans they receive and the reality they face is too large.
If most women face objectification, being gazed at, then most men face being instrumentalized.
A Chinese man's growth path, all the directions are teaching him how to become a tool man better.
For example, some time ago, I angrily denounced "niang cannon" and advocated masculinity, although I think such guidance and public opinion are too one-size-fits-all. But we can think about it: why does men's attention to dress up make society feel diaphragm?
Because this means that the value of being a tool begins to decline, it will naturally be criticized under the guidance of the upper echelons.
For example, why do we think that men should be full of strength, not soft and weak?
Because violence that does not provide for the survival of nature, men have no value.
And we want to advocate gentlemanliness, women first, boys should let girls a little more, behind these social concepts, more or less with a hint of sexism, not only naturally think that women are weak, is the party that needs to be protected, but also believes that men can not provide "provider" contributions, there is no value.
I have no intention of opposing the above phenomena, nor do I think these things can be changed in the short term. I just sincerely feel that the stereotypes faced by men will not be less.
Some time ago, I discussed with my female ticket, and the fathers of our generation seem to have a little bit in common:
I wonder if it's because for that generation, they never grew up with a voice telling them how to express their thoughts and vent their emotions.
In that era when materials were not abundant, as men, in order to survive and make their families live better, they were full of responsibility and pressure.
Perhaps, it is not that they are unwilling to communicate with their children in a softer manner, but that they do not. All along, no one has told them how to respect themselves as individuals and allow their voices and wishes to be allowed, because they have never received it, so they cannot pass it on to the next generation.
Including their repressive education for their children, it is also because they have received such feedback on their growth path. The love they give can only be within the limits of what they know.
Including the traditional concept of "boys have tears and do not flick", it will also lead to them only learning to suppress their emotions. They don't know how to express their emotions correctly and can only endure in silence.
So, even though some of our fathers are 5 or 60 years old, in their hearts, there may always be a little boy who is waiting to be compensated and has not grown up.
From the fathers, we can see the problem of certain personality and character deficiency caused by the gender discrimination faced by men in the patriarchal society.
In The Second Sex, written by De Beauvoir, the French philosopher Pran de Labal is quoted:
Regarding sexism, I write from a female perspective, and I always feel strong and unappreciated, because I can't understand it deeply enough, and I can't be objective and fair enough.
From the perspective of men, sexism, in the eyes of women, will more or less have the suspicion of self-pity, cheap and well-behaved.
But I sincerely want to say that the purpose of breaking gender discrimination is not to prove who is better than whom, nor to benefit one party, but to make our society more tolerant and respectful of individual wishes.