Because this article involves too much content, please be sure to read it, if you only look at the operation part of the effect is basically not too good, so you need to combine the mentality and thinking logic part to do deep thinking.
Chapter 1, How to Meet Girls.
One of the characteristics of Chinese boys is that they are more wooden, which is more different from foreign boys, because foreign ideas are more open, resulting in many people being relatively precocious, they began to contact the opposite sex at a very early age, and foreign independent education also makes foreigners relatively bold, and China still pursues Confucian traditional thought, high moral standards, but lack of courage.
Girls start to contact the opposite sex very early, they know and know how to get along with the opposite sex, and their way of knowing the opposite sex is simple and pure, as long as they like it, they will lean up. For example, I have tried to be picked up on the subway, talked to in KTV, talked to on the road, don't think that I look very handsome, in fact, I am not obviously handsome, I just dressed up more normally, giving people a relatively clean feeling.
As the saying goes, bold and thin-skinned, want to know girls these three points are indispensable, whether you are in real life, in the virtual world of mobile phones you have to be cheeky to talk to girls, Chinese girls are so passive, they follow a standard, reserved.
The first method, hook-up.
Usually I don't recommend this method for boys, the main reason is that I am not proficient myself. This method is very stressful, your first hookup will definitely be full of sweat, and then the words are not good, and do not know how to say what to others, which will lead to your failure to hook up. To tell you the truth, you don't want to watch Douyin or some platforms above a lot of people in the conversation, in fact, part of the kind of talk video is to trust, but they also have success, they will only put successful cases to you. In terms of success rate, the probability of novice hookup failure is almost 90%, that is, you hook up with 100 girls, and there are almost only one or two successful cases. And veterans like TikTok will have a much higher success rate.
My initial hookup experience was that I was out drinking with a girl around 23 and two people playing Truth or Dare, and I lost, and the girl asked me to go and talk to a couple at another table and ask where he bought his clothes.
I was confused because I hadn't tried anything like this before, but the wine was so strong that I walked over and said to the other person directly: I'm sorry, I was playing a game with the girl, and she asked me to ask where you bought this dress? As a result, the other party said that he did not know, he bought it on Taobao, you can find it yourself. I politely said thank you and ran away. Since that day, I haven't had any fear of hooking up.
One of the great benefits of hooking up is that the girls you hook up with are usually a little warmer. The reason is actually very simple, a girl no matter how beautiful she looks, she can meet very few boys who talk to her in a year, and she is willing to give contact information, indicating that she herself can see each other, she does not mind having a deeper exchange with this boy. At the same time, she has also met this boy, and there is no possibility of online social light death, so her first impression of this boy is very good.
So how to go for a conversation? Usually I will tell you to be polite, to know how to relax when talking to girls, if you don't know how to talk, you can go straight.
Before hooking up, you have to overcome your fears and anxieties. How do these fears and anxieties arise?
In ancient times, a woman meant that she must have relatives and family members, whether it was a father, a husband, or a family member, you would be afraid that when you first came into contact with this woman, there was a bad situation, just known by her family, and then led to the loss of the safety of her property and life, so you will have this fear. And this kind of fear and anxiety will exist to this day, which is innate, and human society has only developed for thousands of years, and has not evolved a complete mechanism to overcome this fear. Only after constantly trying to find that such behavior is not harmful to your own safety will you be able to do it with confidence.
Sometimes this fear and anxiety is something you learned when you were a child, and it's called learned helplessness. You may greet people when you are a child, but she ignores you, so you will be unhappy, and this state will not be learned by being rejected once or twice, but the more times you will refuse to talk to strangers, and this fear is difficult to lift.
Having said all this, I just explained to you in relatively simple language the reasons for your fear and anxiety, and how to talk to you still depends on your own action.
Please take good notes, if you really want to get to know girls through hook-ups, you need to pay attention to your three thoughts:
1. I met this girl today and don't know her, will I have this opportunity in the future?
2. If I don't fall in love with her, someone else will fall in love with her too, won't they?
3. If you don't go up to talk now, will you regret it later?
These three thoughts determine whether you dare to take the first step in the conversation, please have this very clear decision before you decide to start getting to know girls through the act of hooking up.
Make sure you're mentally prepared before you talk, and we're going to get started.
The oncoming girl, you will meet her four eyes, if you come to her in front of her to talk to her, this feeling is very abrupt, and in the face of unknown situations, girls will instinctively produce self-protection actions. The human body is very strange, if you and the other party are not familiar enough, the other party will usually use the back or side to face you, this is a state of self-protection, when she feels relatively comfortable with you, understand your intentions, she will be assured to face you with the front. Therefore, if you come face to face with the person to talk to, the probability of failure is almost 100%! There is only one scenario that can succeed, and you have begun to flirt from a great distance.
Therefore, hook-ups usually occur in two situations, relative targets in stationary and moving targets coming from the side.
The relative goal in stillness refers to the fact that the other person is stationary, she may be sitting or standing waiting, you can approach her, in the process, you need to make sure that the other person can see you in the field of vision. The moving target coming sideways refers to yourself approaching her, and in the process, you need to make sure that you can be seen in the other person's field of vision.
The two cases are that whether you talk to the other person or not, but when you move toward her, the other person already has a precognitive response. In cases where the other person has already seen you, the other person is prepared. You come from her side in the direction where her sense of security is relatively high, so the other party's defensive psychology is not so strong.
You may be nervous, but be prepared to be rejected.
One of the most important cores of the conversation, absolutely can not entangle the other party, once rejected, immediately said disturbed and euphemistically left.
Many times, girls will reject you, including myself, who have rejected other people's conversations, and these situations are divided into many types:
1. The other person thinks you don't look good, not her dish.
2. The other party has a friend who is embarrassed to give you contact information.
3. The other party is embarrassed to be talked to, sorry to give you contact information.
4. The other person is very busy and does not have time to take care of you.
5. The other person has a boyfriend and doesn't want to give you contact information.
6. The other party is scared and does not want to give you contact information.
So, you will find that hooking up is really a very inefficient way to meet a girl, she can have ten thousand ways to reject you, and you only have one way to cope, that is, to leave the scene when the other party rejects you.
Please maintain a safe distance. There is a safe distance between people, no matter when you meet someone you don't know, her safety is usually more than a meter, so you just need to talk to her more than a meter away.
What is the better thing to say to a girl when talking? Usually we need to make false time limits, that is, tell the other person that I will leave soon and will not disturb you for too long, so that the other party will be more comfortable talking to you.
So I usually tell the girl: Hello, disturb you, I and my friend came here to run errands, just saw you, think you are friendly, can I make a friend with you?
You must be polite, this is our social principle, no matter when, you can't make the other person feel that you are a very bad person. If a girl isn't interested in you, she'll usually be cold and then ignore you, or she'll tell you directly that you can't. Then at this time, you just have to tell her, I'm sorry, just go away.
If a girl feels embarrassed or thinks you're okay, she'll usually laugh, but she may still not give you contact information. So you still need to continue to say, and I usually tell them: I am a little nervous now, I rarely talk to people, now my heart is beating a little fast, I will leave with my friends later, is to see that you want to know, can you add your WeChat?
Usually girls will look at your expression and appearance to talk to you, but whether you are nervous or not, you can't be sure that the girl will definitely give you contact information. So I suggest that you just take it easy, one, to let the other person know that you have no malicious intentions, and two, the relaxed atmosphere will make the chat more enjoyable.
The worst result of the hookup is that the girl doesn't agree, and then you just leave. But please look at the situation first when you talk to each other, whether the girl is a person, if she has a boyfriend, I suggest you still don't talk to each other. If you talk to her and her boyfriend comes back, you tell her boyfriend that we have known each other before, we haven't seen each other for a long time, just met, and then shake hands with her boyfriend, talk about it and leave.
That's the general way to hook up.
Please pay attention to the fact that if you and a girl look at each other more than twice, please be sure to go up and talk.
The second method, social software.
Social software is a relatively simple approach, and it's usually very efficient.
WeChat does not have people nearby, and it is difficult to have the opportunity to add strangers. So we'll look at other social apps. Although Momo is notorious, I still recommend Momo, but Momo's current user ratio will be relatively small, which is very annoying. Other such as, probe, picopico, soul and so on APP I think can also be played, but these software some of the bigger problems, cumbersome functions, recharge interface a lot, almost professional cutting leek tools, I don't like much, a little silver friends can be full open, a year is about a few hundred pieces, in fact, not expensive.
Momo and other dating software is different, it and WeChat with the short distance social software should have the most should have the function, people nearby, this function is very important, Momo even if you do not recharge can also play, this is the best.
What is the correct way to play social software? There are many people who tell you that it is for you to pretend, to pretend to be rich, to pretend to be rich and handsome. I'm not going to tell you to do it because it's not you, you just have to be yourself. What is the principle of social software sending circles of friends, only good, not bad.
There must be a few good-looking beauties in your phone, right? Take a look at their circle of friends. You can't go wrong as long as you send it like they do. You see, girls have always been masters of love, but they don't admit it.
Many beautiful women usually only send a circle of friends in a few situations.
1. Send a circle of friends when they go on a trip
2. Send a circle of friends when they play with friends
3. Send a circle of friends when they eat a big meal
4. Send a circle of friends when they are driving
5. Her condensed selfie
Now you should understand, how do girls send circles of friends? How did you send the circle of friends? In this process, you are not pretending to be rich and handsome, because you are living like girls, their lives are unbearable, they don't say, their lives are unhappy, they don't say. They just tell you through the circle of friends that my life is happy and comfortable. So you too, you just have to tell them that your life is the same as theirs, and that people of the same nature are attracted to each other.
Why do we send circles of friends and send dynamics?
Girls and boys are not the same, they usually go through their circle of friends when they know a new boy, they are very clear about a logic, I don't want to know you, depending on what kind of person you are, and the circle of friends and dynamics can just explain a lot of problems, this is what many boys do not understand, through the circle of friends to see what kind of person the other party is, only when a person's experience, he has a deep understanding of human nature, he will slowly understand, what does the other party mean by sending this circle of friends.
This logic is called the first cause effect in psychology, and the simple first impression gives people a good feeling or not determines whether the other party gets along with you for a long time. First impression is very important, except that you met after meeting, she has a general understanding of your person, other situations need to go through the circle of friends or dynamics to understand you.
Here are some of the more suitable content for boys:
1. A photo of the cleaning room that shows that you love to be clean.
2. A photo with a small animal child shows that you are very caring.
3. Photos of playing with friends show that your life is richer.
4. Your own vehicle, in fact, is a bit of a show of wealth, indicating that you have a little money.
5. Go to some high-end places for photos that show that your quality of life is slightly higher.
Through the circle of friends or dynamic content, girls will be more interested in getting to know you. And if you look better and have a good look, there may be many girls who take the initiative to greet you.
What if no one contacts you? You should choose to take the initiative, and here I believe that there are many brothers who will also take the initiative to do so, I know very well, through the mobile phone to contact people, your courage will be bigger, this is very real.
But you will find that you may not know very well how to chat with people, and after you say hello, others will not want to pay attention to you at all. Or maybe someone greets you and they're enthusiastic, but you don't know how to deal with it, and there's no follow-up after a few conversations. We'll talk more about how and what to chat with later.
The third method, acquaintance introduction.
Acquaintance introduction is the easiest way to meet a new girl, acquaintance introduction of girls, usually girls will not refuse to know you. The reason is very simple, China is a humane society, they do not look at the monk's face but also look at the Buddha's face, she even if she does not like you, she will also say a few words of greeting with you, but the follow-up depends on your own getting along with her, and even if you later become a corpse in her circle of friends, it is very likely, everything depends on your own play.
Need to elaborate here? I don't think it's necessary, basically as long as you give her the first impression to get by, the other party is unlikely to refuse to add your contact information.
However, acquaintance introduction usually has a drawback, if your relationship with the girl is not handled well, it is very likely to hurt your original friend's relationship.
Usually, your friend is willing to introduce this girl to you, but your friend will only feel very trusting of you and feel very relieved about you. If you are not together, you need to make a reasonable statement to your friend. Otherwise, you may also be complained about by this girl, so in addition to the relationship between men and women, you also need to handle your friendship relationship better, so if you are just playing, I do not recommend that you have too deep communication with her, you will find it difficult to end.
Chapter 2, Chat Opening Remarks
I know a lot of people want to know about this, but I have to be very clear here that if you want to get all the girls with one kind of chat, it's completely impossible.
Through the actual situation for many years to tell you, whether you have money or not, handsome or not, tall or not, whether you will chat, the ultimate way you can talk is always to ask her out. You always have to understand that whether the other person likes you or not, all you and she can do through the phone is chat.
Even if she calls your husband on the phone, calls you baby, sends you photos, or even more explicit photos, you are still just doing this meaningless activity on the phone.
I once tried talking to a girl who didn't last long after graduating from college, she was squatting at home, staying at home for a few months, we talked very well, and she and I were referring to each other as babes. But I was too busy at work to find time to meet her for a month, so I was deleted. If the other person deletes you without meeting, the probability of recombination is not very large, unless the other party's will is very strong.
So the final result of the chat, the ultimate pole core, is to ask her out!
The first acquaintance, the opening statement.
Many people are very faceless on social software, and they usually choose a very direct way to come up, about?
I am firmly opposed to such an approach! This approach is not only inefficient, but also extremely disrespectful to women. Please think about it with your clever little head, if you make an appointment, the other party directly tells you that it is okay, will you be afraid?
Only in rare cases will a girl tell you that you can make an appointment:
1. The other party is a foot-washing sauna prostitute
2. The other party is a fairy jumping wine and rice tray liar
3. You blind cat bump into a dead rat
The first type of situation need not be said more, the other party is to let you to their work club to consume, or let you pay to go to the PC, which is completely inconsistent with our final idea of knowing girls, my book is to call you in love, not to teach you to go to this kind of entertainment place, you want to go to I will not stop.
The second type of situation still has to be said, usually this kind of person she will not tell you her purpose very obviously and directly, and they will be very obscure, they will follow you, not only have their own framework, but also they are very clear about their purpose, they do not have feelings, they will never let you know their intentions, so you must rely on yourself to identify.
In the third case, you blind cat meets a dead rat. No matter how handsome you look, the probability of a blind cat bumping into a dead rat is very low. In cities with a large number of immigrants, the probability of blind cats encountering dead rats is relatively high, but you still need to attract them through chat. I still need to tell you very clearly that whether a girl wants to know you or not depends on what kind of person you are, and the circle of friends and dynamics can explain a lot of problems.
Therefore, it is still that sentence, the circle of friends, the dynamic must be done well, without doing a good job of the circle of friends and dynamics, the other party is impossible to understand you through no photos and no life to understand you know you.
Of course you can't learn from those people, as soon as you open your mouth, is it a covenant? So what kind of content do you need to use to chat with girls?
There are many boys who check their hukou at the beginning, and this way of checking their hukou is generally a mistake that many people often make, the main reason is that the other party does not want to reveal too much information to you without being familiar with you, and she does not want to have this boring conversation. One, she needs to be safe enough, and two, you're not providing enough emotional value.
If she becomes interested in you, she will take the initiative to ask you the questions she herself will tell you, and you don't need to ask at all. When she asks you where you are from, you just ask her back.
The right way to open your mind is that when you find someone you want to talk to, the first thing you need to do is get to know her through her profile.
However, now more and more people set up three days of visibility or no circle of friends without dynamics, so what kind of way do we need to understand each other and open the chat mode? In fact, I am also very clear that there are some friends who do not want to understand girls, they just want to chat, and then something not simple happens through chat.
Here are a few opening ideas, one through her avatar, two through her dynamics, three through her signature file, and four through the way of getting to know her.
One, the avatar. Many people will feel that the avatar shows a lot of problems, and there is only one situation that is more likely, that is, a girl who has used the avatar for many years, she is usually not so easy to chase.
Young people's avatars will basically not be landscape paintings or landscapes, unless the mentality is more old,and girls will not be, through the analysis of each other's personality through pictures, there are roughly the following types:
1. The girl who takes a selfie shows that she is more confident in her appearance.
2. Girls who use online pictures are basically looking for their favorite style.
3. Girls who use cartoon pictures are relatively simple.
4. The guy with the guy's avatar is likely to be her boyfriend.
This is just a way to open the topic through the avatar, but you can't use this statement to say it directly to the girl, they don't want an unfamiliar person to judge what kind of person she is through the avatar. Even if the other person is a person, their attitude may not be the same as you imagined, they are based on the situation with you to show their attitude, which I believe you are the same.
The chat content is roughly similar to:
Your avatar is very elegant.
Your avatar is cute, do you like Lisa too?
I also like this anime of the avatar, I have been chasing, has the author recently broken the change?
The head portrait of this boy is quite handsome.
Did I find a problem, when I greeted or chatted with the other party, I only used one question sentence in three sentences. Here's one thing you need to master when chatting, the dynamic balance of emotional value.
Usually when a person is interested in another person, he will issue more questions, which will lead to many people being felt by girls, your sense of need is relatively large, and the attraction will decline.
When you're chatting with a girl, the more you use your statement, the more it shows that you're not someone who has been providing emotional value. But when girls communicate with you, if you keep using declarative sentences, girls will feel that they don't know how to respond to you. The mode of a declarative sentence is simple, that is, your opinion or evaluation of a thing. In this way of chatting, girls will only chat with you next when they agree with or disagree with your views, and the content of the chat is usually followed by the previous sentence.
You can't always use declarative sentences, you need to provide emotional value, and the other person will respond to you through the same value. If you're having a good time chatting with her, then keep talking without interrupting your chat in some weird way. If your way of chatting is very plain, then it is enough to break this balance by asking questions.
Second, dynamic or circle of friends. This point is actually very clear to many people, but do not know how to use this dynamic or circle of friends to interact with girls, what to say girls are willing to reply to you.
Dynamic or circle of friends largely reflects the other party in the recent place, who has seen, what movies have been seen, what have been eaten, the other party in the case of open circle of friends to explain that she is allowed to discuss others, and most of the beautiful women, the purpose of their circle of friends is to hope that others to discuss, attract the attention of others, share their lives, so as long as she opens the circle of friends, you can discuss, and you can also send out your views.
It can be seen that chatting with each other through the circle of friends or dynamics is actually a very effective way.
The general chat content is as follows:
Is the place you went to Xishuangbanna? What is the weather over there, I also want to go but unfortunately I have not had the opportunity.
Is this restaurant delicious? Where is the location, I will ask my friend to go with me next time.
The group of photos you shared is very good, oh, very warm.
Look at the photos of your circle of friends suddenly so envious, ah, recently a little busy at work, for a while did not have a meal with friends to play together.
Please learn to use it, the chat method I provide is not to let you copy according to the template, but to provide you with a more suitable chat idea, so that you can learn how to chat with girls is correct. If I want to talk or something, I have hundreds of G in my computer, and I don't need to type every word to show you.
Remember that being in love takes practice and may be naturally good at it, but if you're not, diligence is your best teacher.
Third, the signature file. Many people did not expect the signature file, including me, many times will forget the signature file thing. The signature file is actually very important, a signature file not only describes what kind of person she is, but also many times the change of the signature file will explain what kind of situation she is in at the moment, whether it is a high tide period or a low tide period.
The difference between the signature file and the dynamic avatar of the circle of friends is that you can directly interpret her as a person through the signature file, and she will not be angry, because that is what she said herself.
These few signature files are picked by me in Momo, and the general chat content is as follows:
1. The other party: Good love does not have to be carefully lung-strangulating.
It shows that the other party hopes to have a relatively simple and pleasant love, so your chat mode with her should be based on humor and humor, so that she feels happy, relaxed and comfortable.
The way I greeted her was: Night owls who are not sleeping yet, and vibrato is prompting you to rest.
2. The other party: quiet as a virgin, moving like a mad rabbit
Such a signature file shows that the other party is relatively quiet in front of encountering unfamiliar people, but once she is familiar with her personality, it is more lively and cute, and if such a girl has a good first impression of you, it is easy to talk to her with humor. And I found that this signature file is actually not a cold door, but the girls who use this signature file, their appearance will be relatively high, which is a strange problem, I have not carefully studied.
My way of greeting is: Moving like a crazy rabbit means that you will be crazy after you get acquainted with people?
3. The other person: Try to be a cute person. Don't blame anyone, don't laugh at anyone, don't envy anyone, shine in the sun, run in the wind and rain, dream your own dreams, go your own way.
Such a signature file clearly describes her own situation, this person is very real, this type of girl usually only after going through something, will have such a thought, want to live with the sun and integrity.
My way of greeting is: I think your life is full of sunshine, so envious!
Similar to this way of greeting, usually girls will reply to you. You're not asking her obscenely, you're polite, you provide emotional value, you're chatting with her based on what she's posting, so she doesn't have much reason to refuse to reply to you, but she usually does one thing, to look at your circle of friends, to see what you're posting on Momo.
Four, by getting to know her in a way. Through the way you know her, here is to see what way you met her, the previous introduction of three, hook-up, social APP, acquaintance introduction. Social APP acquaintance, directly refer to the above content to say hello.
As I said before, the way to talk to a girl you know is usually very highly like you. She thinks you're bold, and she's surprised that someone would dare to ask her for contact information in this way, and she gave it back herself. She can give you contact information, indicating that she has no opinion on your appearance, which has ruled out the possibility of online dating being cheated of 200 yuan and seeing the light die. So her impression of you is absolutely very impressive.
I think that the girl I know can completely cope with all the situations by saying this in the first sentence.
The chat content is roughly as follows:
Hi, I'm the guy you talked to on the road today, rarely talking to people, and hopefully it doesn't scare you.
Here girls usually say:
Just scared me to death, I rarely get talked to, really embarrassed.
I think you're doing a pretty good job, and you probably don't talk to people very often.
If you don't rarely talk to people, don't say you're talking to people for the first time. You tell her that I also have goals and pursuits well, usually I just want to know beautiful women. Such a reply not only represents your praise for her, but also shows that you are a person with a pursuit, you are not everyone to talk to, and girls need to meet your aesthetic standards to get your attention.
The girl introduced by the acquaintance, because the other party has a certain friendship with your friends, she will give special face. You must also give face, in the end, China is still a humane society.
The opening part of the opening statement is introduced here first, in fact, the difficulty of the opening statement is not large, mainly depends on the girl's first impression of you and the degree of liking for you, if you are really good, they will be happy to communicate with you, but the specific chat depends on whether you can really chat.
Chapter Three, Chat Ability Improvement, Chat Advancement
Chatting is really a thing that needs to look at personal level and emotional intelligence, a guy who can chat, a guy who can talk for a day can date a girl, a guy who can't talk, it's useless to talk for half a year.
You ask me to keep the fastest chat history? Short-term relationship records, ten minutes to home, ten sentences and thirty minutes to the other party's hotel, an hour to my house, have tried. Long-term relationships are more normal, fast is two days called nicknames, that is, babies, or dear ones, slow about a week or half a month, rarely more than a month. The main reason here is that I was more open-minded, I knew a lot of girls, I was not afraid of losing any girl, and sometimes I chatted with three or four girls at the same time.
I hope to correct a lot of guys here, some people will feel that when talking to a girl, try to talk to her and fall in love, yes, this is very correct logic.
However, you have to know that many girls are not only a boy who pursues her, she is also choosing. So the question is, should we boys pursue multiple girls at the same time? Does that count as a distraction?
My personal thinking is that it doesn't take a lot of money for a guy to pursue multiple girls at the same time, but you can't make boyfriend and girlfriend with multiple girls at the same time.
Girls are basically like this, they will meet different boys, they will not only talk to one boy, if there is a girl who says that you are not good like this, then you can use this question to ask her back. Even some girls will chat with other people of the opposite sex during the relationship, you say her, she will tell you that this is a friend who has known for a long time. But in fact, they do not reject getting along with anyone of the opposite sex, even those who are ambiguous after marriage.
I am talking about this issue here, not to make you think about how to properly deal with the relationship between you and the opposite sex. If you don't know how to deal with it, you may have a very big problem, you have a lot of girls, these girls are ambiguous with you, have dated and met with you, all like you, you can't choose one of them, then you will hurt a lot of people.
These hurts you may have been unconscious at the time, but once you wake up one day, you will feel guilty about the girl you have hurt. I teach you to fall in love, I want to improve your skills in falling in love, not to make you a hundred people chop, a thousand people chop, ten thousand people chop, not let you become a second-rate person who does not know how to hurt girls.
It's useless to say too much, mainly because you have to think about how to get along with multiple girls correctly.
When you start chatting with the other party, you will find a problem, you start well, but how to talk next, you are not clear, you do not know what to talk about, which will lead to you and the other party after three or four sentences of conversation the other party will feel bored.
So you need to continue the opening topic, and then the continuation of the topic can carry out new topics, to provide the other party with a relative sense of security, comfort.
But even if you have a very good chat content, but she still does not want to talk to you, what to do? Is there a way to chat easily and simply with people without being hated and common to everyone?
Does this question still need to be asked? The answer is no.
There are thousands of women in the world, some are taciturn, some are well-behaved and lively, some are domineering, and you can't get everyone with a chat method.
You can see hundreds of thousands of words on the Internet, and I have seen words, and some of them are hundreds of pages just for chat. My own chat skills are hundreds of pages, can you learn them all? And you can't apply it to everyone, each girl's personality characteristics are different, which determines that each girl's mode of getting along with others is different, her view of the world is different, and everyone's judgment of you is different. Ordinary girls may think that you are a quality boy, but rich girls may think that you are a stinky dick, how can you compare?
Chat has no fixed thinking, it varies from person to person, it is high-end private customization!
The more brilliant sister chat methodology on the market is divided into several types, one is the two-threaded chat mode, one is the chat six-step method, and the other is the disassembly chat method.
Although I can use these chat methods, but if I want to choose one, I can't choose, my chat method is to use all of them and do whatever I want.
There are a lot of guys who are really stupid and direct, they never think about a question, if you chat so much online, but what if you meet and your mouth is stupid? I tried to ask a girl out, and that girl was 168, in great shape and very good looking, and I talked to her for a week and then met.
Her first impression of seeing me was not happy, because I looked average and a little serious, but she didn't know whether to get in the way of face or how to go to dinner with me and watch a movie. But when we finished eating, her smile could not be hidden. We went to the movie theater and she handed me her bag and phone when she went to the bathroom, which showed that she already trusted me.
The core reason is that I chatted with her on the Internet, she was very fond of me so I met, but when I met, her first impression of me was that I was not the same type of person on the Internet, which is called consistency, what kind of personality you show when you chat with people on the Internet, what kind of personality you show when you meet people!
The previous opening remarks have been introduced, and then the actual content of the chat is followed.
We chat with girls, the most important thing is that we provide the topic, this is not the idea of male superiority and female inferiority, but you have to start according to reality, the girl will not take the initiative to provide the topic is not to take the initiative to chat with you, unless she has been very interested in you, she will make the initiative to chat, or she is bored.
As already said in the above chapter, if your opening statement is good, girls will be happy to chat with you.
Here are a few templates:
1. Look at the dynamics of your circle of friends and find that you and I are the same kind of people, foodies.
2. When I saw you just now, I found that you are wearing a little less, the cold air has come these days, and the weather has become so fast!
3. Just doing exercise, weight loss is really difficult, really should eat more, there will be strength to lose weight.
4. Look at your Momo location, we are not very close, I just moved over, and I will ask you for directions later.
In fact, such chat content has no practical significance, and it is most likely determined by the other party's dynamics and your current situation, while describing your situation at that time and the common ground of the other party. But that's the reason for the girl to keep talking to you, you need to create opportunities so that she can pick up your words.
Usually the other party will reply according to your words, but you should also pay attention to a point, girls she may not necessarily reply to you at the first time, she also has a certain probability of not replying to you. It all depends on her liking for you, so I will emphasize to you again that your circle of friends and your dynamics must be done well. If you don't do these things well, the other party will not want to take care of you, and even your opening statement, she will refuse to communicate with you because you do not have an avatar.
After you provide a continuation topic, the other person usually has three situations. (Remember that these three scenarios need to be substituted below)
1. Then your words go on
2. Uh-huh, uh-huh
3. No reply
In the first case, she continues to talk after your words, then you can provide her with reasonable value again
In the second case, she replies, but is not interested in your topic or does not know how to respond, and there is usually a possibility that she is not interested in you as a person.
In the third case, she does not reply, and in this case, she is most likely not interested in you. If you have no interest in a girl, you can just let her become the corpse of your circle of friends, and wait until she thinks about it.
There are several situations of not replying, she is very busy, she usually does not play with the phone (I personally met such a girl, is a very good girl), she has other emergencies. These are all one of the reasons why the other person doesn't reply to you.
So sometimes the other party does not reply does not necessarily mean that the other party is not interested in you, you still need to analyze according to the specific situation.
Here I hope that all the boys who have seen my book can pay attention to one thing, you get along with the girl, she is willing to get along with you and continue, if she does not want to get along with you, it is not happy. If you force or scold people, this will only make the other party delete or block you, which will not benefit you at all, and I don't want such people to appear in my students.
The first case is relatively good, and the other party can easily provide you with value during the chat process, for example:
You: Look at the dynamics of your circle of friends and find that you and I are the same kind of person, foodies.
Other party: Foodies are not troubled.
You: Yes, eat more, eat harder to lose weight.
Other: Hmm.
You: Fight to be a delicate pig girl.
Other: You are the pig.
This example is my chat history with a girl, but I changed it, because the girl who chatted with me is still quite cute and very good to chat with, like the sentence strive to be a delicate pig girl, in fact, she said it.
The reason I'm changing here is that when you keep talking to each other with declarative sentences, you don't provide emotional value, so the girl doesn't know how to reply to you, but she has the desire to reply, so she sends a hmm. And I'm going to deal with it here in a ridiculous way, so that girls think you're an interesting person.
Please focus on one issue, the sense of humor.
I recommend two people's works to many boys here, one is Wu Zongxian and the other is Guo Degang. You can find it on TikTok, and you can spend a little time brushing TikTok every day. Don't tell me how much you hate the two of them, and don't tell me how much time it takes to watch their work. What you need to understand is that what you can learn from them is beyond your reach in your life. You can also look at more of the other stars you admire, such as Zhou Xingchi, such as Shen Teng, and so on.
Love needs to be practiced, if you can't, then diligence is your best teacher, not that rich second generation Qin Fenha!
In the second case, the other party sends, um, hehe, oh.
Many times in these three cases is because the other person doesn't know how to reply to you, or has no interest in the topic you are talking about. We need to distinguish between two situations here, is she not interested in you? Still don't know how to get back to you?
There are two ways to deal with it, one is a response like mine, which makes her respond by teasing. The second is to let the other person provide value.
The pattern of the second way is, what are you doing? (Use with caution!) ）
This should be the first sentence that many people start chatting, right? Please remember, if you just met a girl, please don't ask what she is doing? Because she can easily post a message to you after watching your circle of friends dynamics, nothing to do!
This sentence is to force girls to provide emotional value and let girls provide topics. You really have to pay a lot of attention to this, when the girl is not very familiar with you, there is no sense of security and comfort, it is very difficult for you to let her provide the topic first.
When I share with you, I will not share according to everyone's ideas, but according to the actual situation and actual logic to tell you specific things, so there are many times you will feel that I am not necessarily right, but when you encounter this problem, it is very easy for you to understand that what I said is in line with the actual situation, the most real situation.
What is this saying? The role is to let you tell whether the other person is not interested in your topic or does not know how to reply to you. The answer is twofold:
I'm watching TV. (Don't know how to reply to you)
Nothing. (Not interested)
For those who are not interested, I usually do not recommend continuing to contact, let her stay, do not have to continue to talk to her. But some great gods have said that they can be directly made out, and I dare not agree.
Yes, if you ask her out, certain manipulations can indeed make her feel strongly interested, but the problem is that most of the girls you offer emotional value and the other person is reluctant to provide value, they usually don't have interest in you because they are not interested in the topic, but because they are not interested in you. So it's time-consuming and laborious to get her out, and I don't recommend it for the brothers!
Your only way to do this is to post a circle of friends until she regains interest in you, and the way to confirm your interest is to comment and like it in your circle of friends or below your feed.
Friends, I want to remind you again, don't think you can ask her out through a chat, chasing girls is a very time-consuming thing, make your thinking clear, what is the purpose of you and girls, is it love? Or YP?
For novices, one or two chats do not mean that you are close enough, nor does it mean that you have a substantial relationship, and your chat relationship is at most a netizen who has met.
And for those girls who ignore you, you need to give up in time, you have to understand that you have been pestering a girl, the result will only be laborious, futile. Don't feel that the other party is your goddess, your goddess is many, I believe you can meet more goddesses in the future, you just invested too much in this process and don't know how to deal with it.
Of course, I don't rule out that there are some girls, they also have a purpose that is not simple, and how to do it is entirely up to you, long-term relationships and short-term relationships are very similar in principle, but the chat content and purpose are different, and the chemical reactions triggered are also very different.
Now we're going to focus on one of the core of the chat, ask her out!
Seeing this, most brothers have no problem in basic chat, but occasionally there will be a vacancy in the topic, and you can practice more.
The ultimate purpose of our chat is not to let the girl call you husband, call you baby, call you daddy, but to ask her out, no one can talk to the girl through the mobile phone, this kind of love is meaningless, you talk a hundred times a day is not as good as a meeting.
Normally, I don't ask a girl outright, yes, we ask her out, but our purpose can be explicit or vague. For example, I am just very idle, I just want to find a girl to watch a movie, you just come to accompany me, but after watching it, where to go depends on the situation.
So, you will find that my purpose is not clear, the main reason I came out with her is only because I want to elevate the relationship, I am not asking you out to sleep with you. Short-term relationships usually have a clearer purpose, but we do not need this relationship, our appeal is to meet with girls and get along with girls, and girls from ordinary friends to boyfriend and girlfriend.
What I want to bring you is a more correct view of marriage and love, not the kind of relationship that is quick and quick, even if you want it.
Implanting the concept of dating when chatting with girls is the best way to date, and invisible dating is the behavior that makes girls look forward to the most. I met a girl on Momo before, and I talked to her for a week, and in the process, I would mention it to her as soon as she talked about eating and watching TV dramas and movies. Example:
F: Yesterday I was so tired, I was late after eating with my colleagues, and I had to finish my previous work when I got home.
Me: Eat? Where to eat, why not call me?
F: White eyes
Me: Appointments!
This kind of chat mode we don't learn too much, the woman's liking for me is relatively large, so I use the way of having time to make an appointment, and sometimes the girl will ask you, what to date. Many boys will simply say that of course it is about dinner. My answer at that time was not to make an appointment to eat, but to make an appointment as much as I wanted, and the most important thing was to have food to eat, and the rest was not important.
With this example, it is very obvious that the purpose of my dating with girls is very simple, just to eat, but what pastimes there are after eating is up to us. And similar to this invisible dating, girls will produce several replies:
1. Cry poor
2. She makes an appointment with you
3. She rejects you
The first case, crying poor. This is to imply that you invite her, it doesn't matter who you ask for, many brothers don't care about this little money, that is, sometimes they spend money in vain.
In the second case, she makes an appointment with you. There are two possibilities of real dating and fake dating, you make a time with her, and then get a phone number with her, and the real date will give you the number. Fake dating the other party will not give you a number, but she may also give you a fake number or indicate that WeChat contact can be the possibility, you can first call the phone, see if it is a real number, if not, let her take the real number, she does not give the case is basically a fake date. If she says WeChat contact, then respect her idea.
Don't force it, don't force it, even if you are put on the plane, at most it will be a waste of time and dozens of dollars of travel expenses.
In the third case, she rejects you. In fact, it depends on your previous chat relationship, if the conversation is good, she is unlikely to reject you. There are many reasons why girls reject you, but 80% of the possibilities are people who look down on you.
But there is a type of girl who is a special existence, they can talk to you very well, they can interact with you very well, but you can never date, the reason is very simple, you are a spare tire. This type of girl only enjoys the feeling of being liked, but she doesn't give any emotion to anyone, and the simplest reason is that you are not worth enough. For this kind of person, if you have perseverance, make a few more appointments, maybe she will come out with you one day when she is bored, don't hold out too much hope.
The other is called the two-threaded chat method. The logic of the two-threaded chat method is to divide the entire chat context between you and the other party into two parts, one will talk about this thing, one will talk about another thing, and these two things are talking at the same time.
But such a method will have a disadvantage, that is, girls do not know what you want to talk about, what is the focus, they sometimes feel very annoyed, think that you either have a good chat, or don't talk. So my understanding of this chat method is that you can chat with two threads, but this chat method can only be used for a certain period of time in the chat, and once you have been using this method, the girl will dislike you. So we need to do it, two lines into one.
Examples of chats are as follows:
Me: Yes, eat more, eat more to lose weight.
Me: Strive to be a delicate pig girl.
Me: Raising pigs is a dirty and tiring job, and I can only exert the spirit of the old revolutionary and work hard and persevere.
Other party: I don't want you to raise.
Me: I didn't say I was going to raise you, haha.
Me: Or you can invite me to dinner next time.
The other party: Then who do you raise?
Me: I said next time I'm invited to dinner, don't see it.
Other: No, I don't know you well, slightly.
Me: There are so many pigs under the sky, look at the one who has a fate with me.
You'll find that when you throw up two topics at the same time, you can talk about two topics at the same time, basically fooling around. In the process, you will find that you are often fooling around, and the other party is also fooling around with you, which is meaningless.
Don't worry, slow work out of the fine work, anxious to eat hot tofu, the simpler you talk to each other, the more meaningless the chat, it means that the other party is more interested in you. Is there any brother who can think of this truth?
Simply put, when a girl is not interested in you, she will not waste time on you. Unless she's bored and needs someone to pass her time. Once she finds you interesting, she's willing to talk to you about a lot of irrelevant topics.
In principle, we don't need any methods and logic to chat, but in fact, when a girl starts sharing her private affairs with you, it means that your relationship is further.
The last one is called the disassembly chat method. In fact, I am curious who came up with this strange chat method, to be honest, I rarely use it, although there seems to be a certain truth, but it feels very frustrated!
Here are some examples:
Girl: I'm so tired today!
The girl's sentence contains two words, today, so tired. These two words you take one of them and then turn it into the emotional value you want to provide, that is, today or tired, these two words to interpret: today? What about usually? Tired? What do you get tired of doing?
Then ask the girl in this way:
Tired only today? What about usually? (This kind of question is very strange)
Tired? What have you been doing? (This is relatively reasonable)
The other person's reply is usually:
Work! (Simple Reply)
Today went to help the boss buy coffee, and then went to a friend to help a friend move (the girl who replied to the multi-level explained that she wanted to chat)
No, just tired. (This kind of reply, you have to play it yourself, to read her inner thoughts through tiredness)
Although the disassembly chat method is more suitable for novices, if the other party's reply is very simple in the process of use, it will cause you to be unable to pick up the conversation, and then you need to think about the topic yourself.
These three chat methods are more practical and easy to use in the chat, with these three chat methods, basically the chat is unimpeded.
If one day, you find that you can't chat well with girls in these ways, then it is usually not because of your chat problems, but because others don't like you as a person. The most reasonable way to socialize according to adults is to stop the loss in time.
When can I ask out a girl?
This is a question asked by a recent headline fan, this question is actually not a clear answer, because you need to get along with girls to identify the type of relationship that girls want to develop with you.
Short-term relationship Rio girls come out to pay attention to speed, of course, the faster the better. So you need to distinguish the signals that the girl sends to you, and quickly understand whether the meaning of the signals determines whether you can ask her out. This requires you to have long-term experience, because many girls have very strong social intuition, they can clearly know your thoughts, and in the process they are easy to send very vague signals, even false signals, these false signals make you unable to distinguish whether she is telling the truth or false, sometimes you feel that she promised you, you continue to communicate with her, she often shows a lack of interest, verbally agreed, in fact it is difficult to determine whether she will come out.
Whether it is a short-term relationship or a long-term relationship, when we invite girls, we must be clear that the other party agrees and is willing to come out. Therefore, in each invitation, it is necessary to determine two points in the end, one, the time and place. Second, contact information.
Time and place and contact information is a deterministic signal, so as to ensure that the girl is not fooling you, basically you just need to determine these two points, ninety-nine percent of the girls have already promised you, of course, follow up what moth you make yourself, you need to think about whether you have a problem.
My advice is that once you and the other party have agreed on this time, place and contact information, you can maintain a good interaction, so as not to say more mistakes, this is the safest way.
The premise of the chat
Circle of friends, circle of friends, circle of friends, important things to say three times. First, no one will look at the articles and videos you forward, because it is boring, there are so many short video platforms and articles, they can open the vibrato to watch, why watch your videos, so don't send videos, unless the video is about yourself. Second, look handsome on the selfie, look generally you also have to dress up, neat and clean and then send a selfie, or others take pictures of you, always remember, the circle of friends is your second business card. The third point, send life photos, entertainment photos, food photos, work photos, don't complain, be positive, your life should be full of life, self-pity No one wants to see, no one can look up to you.
Open your circle of friends, don't be visible for three days, you send so many circles of friends just to show yourself, not to hide it for yourself. You look at the girl's circle of friends, they can be seen for three days, how do you get to know her, so you have to let others know you, understand?
The steps of the chat
The steps to a chat are not to establish ambiguity at the beginning, but to recognize – build harmony – build a sense of connection – ambiguity – get into comfort – and propose a date.
First, the first acquaintance
There are a few points we need to keep in mind that we can provide value but not too much. We can take the initiative but not too densely. Don't ask girls to do things if they are not familiar enough. Don't be cold, but when girls are cold, you can't be too enthusiastic.
To illustrate with a case, the following chat record is the chat record of a classmate, because he is afraid of embarrassment, I simulated one.
Then you can see that he and the girl are just starting to know each other, and it should be the relationship introduced between friends, so the girl is relatively polite and polite, and the girl's response is very good at the beginning, but in the back the girl becomes relatively cold. Let's talk about what mistakes the boys made in this chat.
The boy provides too much value in the whole process of dialogue, that is, too much talk, and when the value is too much, the girl does not know which is better. Second, if you are too enthusiastic, the girl will think that you have a high degree of affection for her, and when the girl thinks that you are very fond of her, your attraction to her will decrease. Don't prematurely ask the girl to send you a photo or video, unless it is annoying, before the sense of security is not reached, the girl will be disgusted, even if you take the initiative to share, the other party may not necessarily pick you up, she is not bad at the beginning, at least the screenshot shows you the circle of friends, this is polite, but did not open the circle of friends to indicate good feelings. The third point, during working hours, meal time, and after getting up in the morning, it shows that you want to contact her more than she wants to contact you, and she will feel that you are idle. Fourth, when I call you by this title, I give an inappropriate example, and girls don't like it. Fifth, this is a more typical account search chat, it seems that there is no problem, but in the whole chat process is a question to ask, followed by one or two sentences and then ask the next question, the overall is more boring.
So how should we chat?
In this case, the other party sends cat and cat emojis at the beginning, so you can use the emoji to respond and then chat. But if it were me, I would start by providing value: Do you like cats too?
Being able to use a cat's meme shows that she at least doesn't hate cats. And we say you like cats too, and if she likes cats, then we already have common interests.
This brother's way of opening is actually good, I said in the previous article, you can get into a chat with each other through the channel of knowing each other.
After introducing herself, the girl said thank you. Judging from the previous chat, this girl is a more cheerful type, and your word is actually just a meme on the Internet, and it does not mean to be too respectful. But the example given by the boy opened up the status of both sides, as if she was a waiter and the boss herself, which was the first time the girl did not want to respond to her. Just met, can not give each other a kind of poor status.
So at this time, boys should actually tell girls that we are the same generation, don't use honorifics, this is not good. Then our response should be: I'm not much older than you, don't be so polite. Or: Can't stand the title, I don't seem to be a few years older than you, right?
In this way, we not only brought each other closer together and made her feel that you were friendly, but you could also know her approximate age. Of course, if she makes you guess, you say eighteen, at least that's always right.
Then you can see that in the whole chat process, the boys talk more, may be afraid of the embarrassment of the girls, but the words should be at the time of meeting, not WeChat chat.
For example, the girl said that the weekend rest, then take the small book to write down, in fact, there is no need, directly ask how to solve the dinner on the line. And isn't it clear that the purpose of the boy asking this question is to make an appointment to eat? Or is there nothing to say? After looking at it, I found that they should be off-site, and the purpose of asking this question is just to get the other party to send you a photo of the meal? This action of directing the girl to send photos is not advisable in the early days of acquaintance, unless the other party chats with you non-stop and is very interested in you.
The above is a simple analysis of the brother's chat. It seems that there are a lot of problems, but in fact, he also has a lot of merit, that is, he is more positive, more talkative, more sincere, and his opening is good.
The early stage of acquaintance is the opening statement, is to lay the foundation of a good relationship, we can not let the girl feel that we are not polite, nor too cold, and can not let the girl think that we are talkative, so when chatting to follow a principle, polite opening, friendly communication, laxity.
There are many ways to start, mainly to provide value. What is to provide value is to provide talking points. Hello, the avatar is very cute, or like this brother, just with your friend to understand your information is a kind of talk. The purpose of our value is to enable girls to respond, although such questions seem to be meaningless, but you do not provide value, it is difficult for girls to talk to you. If you are very good at chatting, you will find that in the process of chasing girls, a lot of language is nonsense, and teasing each other is the real core.
There are also ways to provide value to provide curiosity, such as as said before, do you also like cats? But if you keep providing a topic, it will turn into a Q&A chat in the form of checking your account.
So we have to provide it in a declarative way, which provides value without forming a question-and-answer pattern. For example: I look at your picture and feel that you are so young, you are definitely not 20 years old.
Such a statement sentence seems to indicate her young age, but in fact it asks her age in a declarative way, and she will certainly reply to her actual age according to this logic.
Second, establish harmony
Harmony must be established in the early stages of the chat, what is harmony? There are many boys who are very anxious when they meet girls, and they want to talk for a day or two to make the girl promise to be his girlfriend, but they often don't chat, and the purpose is clear at the beginning, which will make the girl become extremely disgusted. Unless you have met for a long time, her liking for you is very high, and your chat with her is very harmonious, then there is a fifty percent chance, how fifty percent is calculated, yes or no.
And to establish harmony is to make girls get along with you happily, and have enough trust and security for you.
If you want a girl to be willing to come out and date you, you must make sure that she has enough trust and security for you. Let's use an analogy: You met a girl on Momo, she talked to you for two days, and then said to you, or should we come out for two drinks? Will you promise to go? I believe that ninety percent of boys think there is a problem, right? In the same way, if a girl wants to date you, she has to think about a lot of questions, she has to think about whether you are a reliable person, whether you can trust, whether you will use your hands and feet, whether you are happy with you, and so on. So she needs to make sure one thing in the process of chatting, whether you are a man with a legitimate job, reliability, and a sense of security.
How to establish a harmonious chat atmosphere, which is a very important ability of men in chatting, sense of humor.
A sense of humor can enhance the atmosphere of a chat. Why do girls chat with you? Is she idle? Or is she full and has nothing to do? All girls are the same, when they are willing to chat with you every day, they realize that you want to chase her, but everyone does not say clearly, she is equivalent to getting along with you, is a process of mutual understanding. So what do you pay attention to when chatting with friends or family? atmosphere! If a friend gets you bored by talking every day, you don't want to talk to him at all. If your family members force you to do things you don't want to do every day, you'll be scared to see his phone calls or messages. So when chatting with girls, the sense of humor is very important, because girls are emotional animals, they pay attention to the feeling of getting along with people, if you chat with you very happy, then continue to chat, talk more will produce a sense of familiarity, produce a sense of security. A man who makes her laugh every day, they often don't think he's a bad person. A person who makes you happy every day, you tend to trust her more, it's human nature.
Sense of humor is very important, without humor it is difficult to catch up with girls, but most of the brothers who can't chat have a very serious problem, if you are not a very humorous person, you do not need to pretend to be humorous, your hard humor will become very blunt, and it is not funny at all!
Let's take an analogy: the girl tells you that she just watched a horror movie and is so scared. In order to highlight your own sense of humor, you heard that Sadako was under the bed at night, and you don't have to be afraid in bed. This leaves people speechless, and she will never reply to your messages again. And the more correct way to say it is, Makabaka, Makabaka. Bring the atmosphere in the direction of happiness, she will not be afraid, and will interact with you when she hears this meme you say. (It's just an analogy, usually girls say she's scared after watching a horror movie, and I'll call her into my arms.) ）
Also, some jokes don't open in the case of not being familiar enough, I really can't stand some brothers obviously want to chase girls, girls tell him to go to dinner, he directly told people: See you I will be full. You have only known others for a few days, you just laugh at her, lively and cheerful girls are fine, if the other party is a more careful girl, have you ever seen a red exclamation point?
Learn to resist
We often meet all kinds of girls, these girls have different personalities, some of them are very friendly, some are very annoying, and some even look down on you. So in the face of some unfriendly voices, you have to learn to recoil.
The girl said: I think you are so short!
How should you reply? Are you going to learn online male fighters arguing with him? Not necessarily at all. You should reply: the girls I have made friends with are taller than me. Show your confidence, I am not tall, but the girls I have interacted with are in good shape.
The girl said: I like more mature men.
Like this, it is necessary to be humorous and funny, Teacher Cang said, no matter how old a man is, he is a teenager.
Some are very slight, we will pass by, some are very excessive, just directly intimidate her, no matter how much you like a girl, if she does not respect you, then you do not need to respect her.
Extreme pull
When a girl scares you or talks to you too much, you can tell her: You tell me a fart! If it weren't for the fact that you're still good-looking, I'd snap two big squeezes!
At this time, on the one hand, she will be very happy, you have not given her a good look, but you have praised her good looks, and women will automatically ignore your attitude, but will pay attention to your praise of her good looks. On the other hand, you are not obedient to her, she will feel that you are different from other people, and even she will ask you what the big push is.
Build a sense of security
Building a sense of security is an important step, and many boys can't date girls because they don't feel safe enough, they don't know enough about you. But many people's mistake is to understand these contents prematurely, when girls are not familiar with you enough, these personal privacy content is actually they are not willing to inform, early ask too much and easily become a household registration.
The establishment of a sense of security is based on the girl's trust in you, when you ask her about the relevant information, such as height and weight daily habits and personality characteristics, she can tell, she has a basic sense of security for you. But it requires you to have a good chat with her.
There are several important points to keep an eye on to build a sense of security:
1, don't be cold, women are very afraid that they will get stuck in a difficult situation when they invest too much in the early stages, because she is not sure that you are a person who can make her feel safe.
2, women usually trust their instincts more and you have to match your words with deeds. There are a lot of boys who chat well online, and the reason why they are finished as soon as they meet is here, they think that you are not the same person when you chat and after meeting, except for seeing the light and dying.
3. Sincerity.
Now we can clear our minds, right? When you contact a girl, you first know, and then make her happy and chat well, and then form a sense of trust in the follow-up, which is a more reasonable way to chat. Therefore, when you don't know her situation in the early stages, you need to do your best to find topics and make girls happy to get along with you. Therefore, the reason why many boys have problems chatting is that they want to form a sense of security in the early stage, but lack the shaping of the chat atmosphere, and girls are not willing to disclose too much information in privacy.
Third, a sense of connection
Usually after establishing a sense of security, you and the other person are already in a familiar state, and if you are attracted to her enough, she will start to share her life with you.
At this time, you can also share a little of your mental journey with her, and even a little praise or expression of love is allowed, but please remember not to be too explicit, once you confess at this time, all your above chats are in vain.
Fourth, ambiguity
Although the ambiguity is placed in the fifth stage, in fact, the ambiguity can occur at any stage after the acquaintance, because the ambiguity can be generated by your chat, or it can be generated by you in the process of attracting her, and all this depends on whether you can catch the ambiguous signal she transmits.
What is an ambiguous signal?
Ambiguous signal is very complicated, share a more practical case of my own, I was chasing a girl before, but the relationship with her has been relatively flat, she knows that I like her, I also know that she has a little meaning to me, so I sent her flowers on a holiday, she was very happy after receiving it, this is the ambiguous signal, can you understand?
Your relationship with her has created a sense of connection, but you have not confessed, but you have expressed your love, and the other person has accepted your love and expressed emotions to you.
Just said that ambiguous signals can be generated at any stage, mainly depending on your attraction. Then some of the humble people have to ask, doesn't it mean that ambiguity is the need to establish a sense of connection?
Brother, they all said that it can happen at any stage, and since it has begun to be ambiguous, let it go smoothly!
Fifth, enter a comfortable state
After entering the ambiguous state, the chat will be a lot more casual, then the chat between boys and girls will be naturally a lot, and the most important way to chat at this time is to flirt. Example:
Girl: It's almost two o'clock in the afternoon, and I haven't had lunch yet?
How should boys answer? Hurry up and tell her to go to dinner? According to normal logic, this is the case, but when it is ambiguous, we should say: Why are you so unruly, hurry up and eat something, don't be hungry.
Sixth, invitations
Dating girls has been said many times, vague invitation is the best choice, in the process of chatting about restaurants or where to play, we can all talk about it by the way. The girl doesn't know if you really want to ask her out, but it doesn't matter if you say it, you just mention it casually. And when you enter the comfortable state, the invitation becomes a relatively simple thing, and the previous vague invitation can come in handy at this time.
For example: Didn't you say last time that you should go to dinner together?
Even after you are in a comfortable state, you can directly make an offer. Like what:
M: When are you free?
F: I don't know if I'll go out with friends on the weekend, what's wrong?
M: I haven't seen a movie in a long time, I want to see Chosin Lake, do you want to go together.
When we invite girls, we should be clear, and the other party agrees and is willing to come out. Therefore, in each invitation, it is still necessary to determine two points, one, the time and place. Second, contact information.
Chapter Four, Dating
What is the purpose of dating? Elevate relationships, from ordinary friends to lovers.
Please dress up cleanly.
How would you dress when you want to meet a girl? Many boys may be annoyed when they see this, and obviously put what I said before like a fart. The first cause effect, first impression is very important, don't let your little problems with dress waste you chatting for two or three weeks.
As long as the boy's dress pays attention to a principle, there is no mistake, clean and simple.
Many boys usually do not like to dress up, every day the hair is messy, a look of no sleep, the clothes are also very untidy, giving people a look of no spirit and no state, which may be no problem if it is in work and private life, you may be around you you like the type of girl.
Let's think about a detail. Girls go to work at eight o'clock in the morning, she may get up at half past six, in addition to brushing her teeth and washing her face, she also has to spend half an hour to an hour to put on makeup and dress up, they just go to work neatly and beautifully. But what about some of our brothers? He got up in the morning, washed up, put on a piece of clothing and went to work, and even when he got up last night and his hair was still upturned, he didn't tidy up.
If you want to chase beautiful women, then you have to see what kind of dress the beautiful women are, you are like a critic, who will look up to you. Don't say more, you see some girls around you who don't like to dress up, dirty girls, will you like it? I'm not asking you to dress up how handsome you are, but to make you pay attention to what you're wearing, is that a problem? Is the heart better than the heart?
Many brothers feel that this is not his own. I don't want to argue, I can only tell you that love takes time, it needs to be practiced, you can be lazy, then you just wait for fate. If you are a little more diligent, you may like your girls a little more. Isn't that how life is?
Don't wear a suit, don't wear slippers, be casual, get your hair on, get it neat, and give the girl a better impression.
The place where the date is made
Usually the first date for boys and girls is to watch a movie or eat, but I recommend eating, because you are not familiar with things like watching movies, and it doesn't matter if you wait until you finish eating.
The most important thing for two strangers is to communicate. If you don't have any money, then I suggest that your consumption of eating be controlled within 500 for two people, because you still have to watch movies, and there are other consumptions, which may be 1000 a day.
If you really don't have a lot of money, there are several very lively, good dishes and taste of the restaurant you can go to, such as green tea grandma's house and other restaurants, the taste is acceptable, but need to queue, I recommend this kind of popular restaurant, especially this need to queue. If there are several tables in front of you, you can wait and then chat outside, if you have to wait for half an hour or so, you can take a walk around the neighborhood, enhance your feelings, and get to know each other. Don't underestimate this operation, if you operate it properly, what seems to be inadvertently turning around shopping has actually become a transition. The advantage of the transition is that you seem to have gone to a lot of places on a date, if you have made enough transfers and stayed longer, the girl's impression in her mind will be more profound.
Eat and order, first ask the other party what you don't want to eat, then order two that everyone can eat, and let her order the remaining two. There is no point here, sometimes girls say that men have no opinion, so you order two, and in order to respect each other, let her also order two.
How to sit is a problem.
I would choose to sit face-to-face with girls so that I didn't overexpose our sense of need. No matter how you talk to the girl, you still need to give the girl more security after meeting, and when she is not relaxed, you need to give her a little space and time to adapt.
However, I personally have some different situations with my brothers, usually after I ask the girls out, the girls will take the initiative to sit next to me, and even when I have not done anything, this situation I have thought about many times, the only conclusion is that I am very lethal or completely uncanny. Two logics, if you are very lethal, the other party will think that it is just playing with you. If you are completely uncanny, the other person will think you are safe.
When can I sit with girls? Here I agree with some of the great gods on the Internet, and the indicators of judgment only need to meet the following three points:
Girls prick your hair
Don't dodge the eyes
You don't talk to her initiative to open the topic
The joke you said she was very popular
The cups were placed close
You can drink each other's drinks
You don't have to do this operation to change seats, usually I don't do it, and changing seats is generally a bit too purposeful and intentional. Novices generally can't do it, and we're talking about long-term emotional relationships, it's love, not YP, which are two different concepts.
After eating, some brothers will choose to watch movies, at this time it depends on your arrangement of the entire dating process, you know whether you are in love from this point of view is more obvious, because generally do not understand will watch movies, this is very boring, life is flat as water. If you understand it, you will take her to more interesting places, such as first find a place to sit and chat, and then play a little more interesting game, such as ice skating, such as go-karting, this kind of game is very easy to produce physical contact, and the feelings of two people will grow rapidly.
Such games are:
skating
Go-karts
Plot killing (use with caution, sometimes you will meet some boys, the situation will become difficult to deal with)
Do pottery
Coffee shop learn to pull flowers
DIY crafts
Fruit collection (only available on the outskirts of the city)
Climbing (choose carefully, many girls do not like to climb mountains)
The technique of turning from friend to lover is called physical contact. It is important to remember that a male-female relationship without physical contact cannot go from being a friend to a lover.
The psychological logic of physical contact is: there is a safe distance between people, the safe distance between two strangers is very large, generally more than one meter, only when you start to invade her safe distance, the other party will slowly accept you, but the invasion of this safe distance must be gentle and harmless. If the other person accepts you into her security zone, then your relationship will get closer and closer, and eventually become negative.
After you understand this logic, you will find out, why do many boys only need one or two days to pick up their sisters, while your sisters have not progressed for a month or two, right?
Chinese is often relatively conservative, Confucianism tells us not to look at incivility, not to listen, not to speak, not to move, which makes us Chinese boys automatically form a concept in their minds, touching others is not polite, we want gentlemen, but they do not tell us that if you and girls hold hands to cross the road is also a gentleman, pulling girls from the road to the road is also a gentleman, and these are very reasonable physical contact.
I don't know if you have seen foreign physical contact experiments, there are many on the B station, I suggest you go to see:
The embrace experiment of foreigners, two foreigners, they met for the first time without speaking, directly embraced, the sense of trust and intimacy to each other rose instantly. I said before when I talked to everyone about the conversation, when you talk to each other, you can't go to the front of the other party, the other party will have resistance. The hug experiment proves that when two people hug, the hearts and limbs of the two people touch at zero distance, which will quickly increase the sense of trust in each other.
The Japanese kiss experiment, recently in the vibrato spread very hot experiment, two people do not speak after meeting, but to kiss five times, the first time, both sides are a little shy, do not dare to move their mouths. But in the back, the two men almost forgot that the camera was going to work directly.
Two experiments have very practically demonstrated the importance of physical contact in enhancing the relationship between the sexes!
There are many ways to make physical contact, for example:
Strap on the shoulders
Inadvertent collisions while walking
Hold hands
Help the girls straighten their hair
Hands touching
Help the girls sort out their clothes
Pull the girl to keep her safe
There are many more, but in short, all physical touching each other is physical contact. These limb operations are more subtle, so the impact will not be too large, if the girl is unwilling, do not force, so as not to produce resistance.
When will it take to go from being friends to being a couple?
Generally speaking, three or so dates like this will do, your chat is no problem, your date is not a problem, then you have to pay attention to the next signal appears.
When the following points appear, you should seize the opportunity:
The two men didn't talk to each other for more than fifteen seconds (kissing her)
Two people intentionally gently collide (holding hands) while shopping
Two people sitting together with hands touching but not recycling (holding hands)
Don't confess Don't confess Don't confess!
At this time, you have already succeeded, and the meaning of confession and non-confession is not great, unless the girl asks you face to face what your relationship is, you can confess. If she asks on WeChat or social software, you can let her come out to meet her face to face, and you don't even have to say it, just kiss her.
When will girls completely resist your physical contact behavior?
If you ask a girl out several times, the girl is willing to come out, but has not been willing to have physical contact with you, then don't think about it, the other party just wants to find a wallet, you just pay the bill.
Emotional thinking
Please do not climb high
Realistically, I basically don't chase girls who are too far behind me, because I have nothing but charisma. Here I would like to explain to you that everyone has his personality charm, but he just can't find it. Charisma can be talent, it can be thought, it can be humor, it can be ability, these are all part of charisma, you need to explore it yourself. And I think humor is the easiest to learn.
Don't think about the rich woman, society is very realistic, you don't have so high value to make the rich woman appreciate you, if she is lusting for your flesh, it is another story. It is true that there are some people who are prosperous and then have a smooth life, but I suggest that it is still practical.
Know how to make girls pay for you
Why are there more and more dogs being licked now, in fact, they themselves may not realize that they have paid too much in the process of chasing girls, and these efforts are not reciprocated, and the more they pay, the more humble they are.
I teach some people a little trick here, a cup of ten dollars of milk tea can make girls pay for you. Sometimes the girl will ask you to invite her to dinner, ask her to watch a movie or run errands for her, and you can offer to ask her for a cup of milk tea in exchange. There may be brothers to ask, what is the use of a cup of milk tea? I don't like to drink milk tea, I don't lack these ten dollars, these brothers I suggest you first go and cure your ten years of cerebral thrombosis. You don't like to drink milk tea for something else, this is not a matter of whether you lack money or not, you do not lack a dozen pieces can be given to me, I lack.
The meaning of this cup of milk tea means that she needs to pay a price for you to help her do things, and a dozen dollars of milk tea is not important at all, what is important is that she pays her emotions for it. She didn't want to buy this cup of milk tea. But you can't use this method every time, she will think you are very picky.
From the above example, you will find out why you have done things for N long and have not received any feedback from girls, because you don't know how to make girls pay.
Want to get away with it
It's really a difficult point, it's hard, and even some emotional mentors can't explain to you exactly what to do, including me. (I don't usually tell you that you can absolutely do what you want to do, I'll just tell you the truth, and I don't market you like other emotional mentors.) ）
The balance between availability and unavailability. Availability is the possibility that girls can get you, and unobtainable sex is the possibility that girls can't get you.
We must let the girl know that she only needs to pay a little for us to improve the probability of getting us. That's right, let her get you, not let you get her.
Annoying, right? Obviously I like her, why did she get me?
I'm annoyed by this, and I don't know how to explain it to you. Although you are active as a suitor, the choice is actually on the girl. She wants to choose you and you can get her. She doesn't want to choose you, you don't get it. So you have to be clear about the fact that in this emotional relationship, you are the one being chosen, not her. (It seems to be a bit of a materialization of men, and everyone knows that I don't mean that.) ）
You can take the initiative to signal that you like her, but you need to put away your sense of need. If you keep sending signals, the other person will think that you are too easy, not difficult. What is this signal? I often tell the students not to give gifts, when she finds that your sense of need is very high, she will acquiesce, you like her, she will be uninterested.
Why is the better you treat her, the less interested she is? Because girls need to explore whether a boy is interested in her when communicating with boys, even if she knows that you are interested in her, but as long as you are not too active, she still retains curiosity, and once her curiosity is satisfied, then she does not want to continue to explore.
It's like Pandora's box, like Schrödinger's cat, who never knows the secrets inside without opening it.
The method of indulging in indulgence
In the previous article, the importance and principle of wanting to get away with it were mentioned, but there is no specific method and operation. The simplest example is that when a girl releases a good feeling for you, you reject her in a timely and soft manner.
I once tried to chase a girl, we talked on Momo for three or four days, then went to the movie, and when she came home from the movie, she continued to talk to me and said that she was hungry. (What should you do when the girl says she is hungry?) ）
I ordered a crayfish takeaway for her, and she didn't even give me the house number, saying that she went downstairs to get it, because it was a short-term relationship, so she had reservations, and you can't force it, you can't care too much. The next day she started clinging to me and asking me to play with her, but I rejected her, why? Because you can't make her feel like you're the one who doesn't do anything, and I was really busy at the time. (Don't learn, because you probably don't have many opportunities to date girls.) ）
Attract girls, not be attracted
All emotional mentors will tell you that the core of chasing girls is to attract girls, and attracting girls is the first step for girls to like you. I used to think so, but I found that chasing girls can also be chased as long as they use the right method, but the specific steps are still very confused and still being studied.
Again, it is relatively simple to attract girls to be rich and handsome, and the other difficulties increase in turn, facing the fact that you are the beginning of your strength. But we are not rich and handsome, how to attract girls?
Attracting this topic is very important, it is a top priority! If there is no attraction, all love operations are basically zero, girls will not talk to you, will not date you, will not let you physical contact, will not have a relationship with you, and will not fall in love with you.
The characteristics of women attracting men are usually: big breasts, beautiful, tall, long legs, good personality, young and healthy, if in this condition coupled with traits such as gentle and virtuous and understanding personality, 90% of men will be attracted.
The characteristics of men attracting women are usually manifested as: rich, good figure, tall, handsome, in addition to adding some personality traits, such as smart, single-minded, flexible, wise, strong action, etc. will become a more attractive man.
And before and what everyone said is the latter point, if you are not rich enough, poor figure, not handsome enough, then the easiest thing for you to do is to understand life and humor, many personality traits are what we have worked hard for a long time can not have, but understand life and humor is the easiest to obtain, you only need to focus on your own life, your life will become very comfortable, and you just have to be happy, you are easy to become humorous, and learning humor is not difficult, read more books, Just look at more passages.
What you didn't expect was
Why do some boys play with girls all the time, and his femininity is still flowing? Why is it that some boys are always ambiguous with girls, but their girlfriends are never lacking? Why are some boys obviously infamous, but girls are moths to the fire?
A guy with a girlfriend will be more attractive than a single guy. This is probably 80% of boys do not know, the boy with a girlfriend is in the eyes of the girl, he has someone to want, so he has the value and inner I can not find, if his girlfriend is more beautiful, it means that he is worth more in the eyes of other girls!
So we get a logic that if you have female friends around you, you'll be more attractive.
Learn to be different from others
Girls with good looks and good figures, they know from their teens that boys will take the initiative to show them affection, and by their twenties they are already very proficient in this relationship, so you can't be like those boys.
When all the guys are offering her courtesy, you have to understand that you can't be like them, so she will only treat you as a kind of person. And if you don't have an advantage in image wealth status, then you don't have an advantage at all. So you need to do the opposite, and make them curious about you.
Be confident
One of the differences between girls and boys is that the most obvious feature of their liking for a person is the initiative, and they can actively pursue all factors such as status, age, appearance, and so on. And boys are not, once boys start to like a person, they begin to have low self-esteem, afraid of doing wrong, afraid that they are not good enough.
Scumbags don't care how poor and frustrated they are, their purpose is very clear, that is, they want to sleep, and most of the scumbags are puxin men.
Many boys are very afraid of one thing, and girls say that he is a puxin man. They tend to overlook one thing, self-confidence and arrogance are different concepts, but when you have the ability to take care of yourself, you can be confident. However, many people like to brag about their abilities because they have no ability, which makes people think that you are very hypocritical and arrogant.
But when you pursue something very far away and great, you have to understand that there are many things that others can't understand and can't understand, you can continue to pursue, but you can't spread it, because before you succeed, many people will think that you are arrogant, and your attitude should remain humble, at least until you succeed.
Don't try to convince her
Girls and boys are different, don't ask for trouble to convince her, or even explain to her, if you force her to think in a rational way, then she will only feel bored, because what a woman thinks she likes or what she likes is not necessarily her identification in the real world.
Emotional stimulation
Why some men are easy to chase women, because they never rationally analyze and think rationally with women, but let them feel for themselves, although sometimes women's feelings are wrong, but as long as they feel the emotional stimulation brought to them by men, they will accept.
If you make women think in a rational way, she will come up with a hundred or even a thousand reasons to reject you.
Social cognition
Don't underestimate this, women are very smart, they often ask men a lot of questions, what do you do? Where does your family live? How old are you? Recently, the cost of fuel has risen again, how much do you need to fill up? These questions are all indications of your place in society and whether you deserve their emotional investment in you.
fame
Women are very concerned about reputation, and if she finds out that being with you will lead to her bad reputation, she will not be with you, and if you make her feel that her actions may damage her reputation, she will not be with you. If you make her feel ashamed of her behavior, she won't be with you. So we need to circumvent this and make her think that many things are reasonable and do not damage her reputation.
Reasonable excuses
When you want to take your girl home at a bar, you can't just tell her, "Go to my house and have sex with me!" "Almost no woman would grant such a request unless you blind cat hit a dead rat." You have to give her a reasonable excuse, she may want to go home with you, and even she knows what happened, but she can't get through the stage of fame and emotion, you say so, she will only feel cheap. So you may want to say more euphemistically: "Go to my house and see my Muppet cat, old and cute." ”
And when she gets to your house, you may have a lot of relationships, she has reasonable excuses, I just came to see the Muppet cat, but accidentally had a relationship with him.
The blind cat kills the rat
Blind cats can't see their prey, whether they are live rats or dead rats, but blind cats bumping into dead rats shows good luck. In fact, emotional problems do require luck, sometimes you are lucky, you can indeed get the favor of girls through an operation, but it can only be effective for a single girl, which is not permanent, only long-term cultivation can have a good harvest.
Cai Lan, the four talents of Hong Kong, once said in an interview, if you want to fall in love, then you need to remember a key point, ugly also. This is the original sentence, but he makes it very clear through this passage that love needs to be practiced, and the probability of a blind cat hitting a rat is very low.
Regret it afterwards
Someone in the headlines asked a while ago, why don't people you know in nightclubs talk to you the next day? A reader told me that he was thrilled with a little sister on the NINJA dance floor a few days ago, and after taking the initiative to talk to each other, the two of them had an ambiguous night, and after jumping, they also held hands to eat supper, and after eating the little sister went home. He thought that this story would continue to develop, but he did not expect to wake up the next day and ignore him on WeChat. He asked his sister out for dinner for several days in a row, and the other party refused for various perfunctory reasons. This was puzzling to him, and he didn't know what was wrong.
In fact, this is the typical regret after the fact, for example, you bought a dress on taobao on a whim, and found that you didn't like it, you can't always wear it reluctantly, you must change it.
And girls are the same way, they may develop very quickly with you, even the name does not know the beginning of very intimate physical contact, this time she is in a very hormone explosion stage, if you do not continue, for other reasons for the interruption of the relationship, then the next you want to continue to develop the relationship, she will think that you only want to sleep with her, so she will not like this feeling. She is emotionally involuntary when you are in close contact, but once she calms down and thinks rationally, she will not be willing to continue to develop this relationship.
The way to get hindsight is to develop the relationship to the extreme when the other party's hormones have not faded.
False sexual liking
Have you ever tried a friend who hasn't seen you for a long time suddenly come to you, basically borrowing money, right? Girls are the same, if a girl who usually ignores you suddenly looks for you, it is basically because she wants to ask you for help and find you to entertain. And at this time, they will show you unusually good feelings.
Even at some point, they deliberately release this favor just to test whether they can get a positive response from you. If you respond to her too easily and make it a no-brainer for her to come, you become another of her booty, and she may look elsewhere for bigger challenges. So don't let people say two words and pounce on people!
Don't hang yourself from a tree
Many times we like a girl very much, always feel that she must be, then have you ever thought: in fact, you do not like her so much, but you pay too much emotion, driving you to face love correctly?
The way to make a woman fall in love with you is to make a woman pay for you. In a relationship between the sexes, the more you give, the more you love, time, energy, money, body, emotion. If you don't want to hang yourself on a tree, you should be aware of your own position in love in time, see the future of this relationship, is there any possibility, and how likely is it? When you see it clearly, slowly increase or decrease your investment in the relationship.
It's realistic, and I also want both boys and girls to be able to stay sane in their relationships. Of course, there is no problem in loving someone desperately, but if you don't get back in a relationship, you should consider stopping the loss in time, maybe this is adult love.
Women are sensual
Men need to be very rational when they fall in love, if you are always angry and emotional, it is likely to be bad, so most men will think about economic issues when they are in love.
Women are emotional, they do not think about whether they should fall in love with someone, they only think about economic issues when they are calm, and their emotional switches will begin to be unable to control themselves once stimulated. So women can sometimes abandon everything to pursue love, when they fall in love with someone, all things will not become their concerns, but when the sensibility fades and real life begins to impact their thinking, they will regret their previous choices, and this time is likely to be long.
So I often say that money is important, but if you stimulate women's emotional switches, they will choose you as well.
This article may seem like a long one, but there's actually a lot of content that isn't mentioned here, have any questions or want to know more, welcome a private message or follow.