As the saying goes: "Boys have tears and don't flick, but they don't go to the sad place." ”
However, I witnessed the tears of both fathers. Once on TV, once in real life.
Last year, in the Jiangsu Satellite TV's "New Blind Date Conference" program, when the blind date girl reported her 42-year-old fang age, she snapped... In an instant, the six lights in the audience quickly went out, and finally only two lights were on. At this time, the 80-year-old father in the audience trembled and stood up and bowed to the lamp keeper, and with tears in his eyes, he said affectionately: "Thank you for your attention, thank you for the lamp." My daughter has good looks, education, a car and a house, and an annual salary of millions. It was only because she was not high or low when she was young, and she chose three times and refused four times, that she is now single at an older age." When he said that, tears welled up and he cried. Chun Ye, the host of the Jiangsu Satellite TV program on the side, was moved and wept for it.
On the afternoon of February 23 last year, I saw a distant relative of my lover's family, an eighty-three-year-old father, who told me that his son was teaching at a university in Wuhan, but now he is forty-two years old, still single, and said that he was in tears.
The tears of the two old fathers are not tears of weakness and hypocrisy, but tears of worry and worry shed for the marriage of their children.
In this regard, I would like to talk about my views on the marriage and love of older single young people and share them with you.
A man's big marriage, a woman large bride.
This is a chinese tradition for thousands of years, and it is an immutable fact, which is not only the continuation of human life, but more importantly, people cannot always be single.
As the saying goes, "No filial piety has three, no queen is greater", people cannot have children without marriage.
What should be done at what age in life is an objective law in real life.
When you go to school, you should study diligently; when you reach the age of work, you should be diligent and conscientious to do a good job; when you reach the age of talking about marriage, you should get married and start a family.
Today, many young people do the opposite.
According to CCTV Finance, more than 200 million people are single in China, and the number of single people is increasing.
Why are there more and more leftover men and women in old age?
The reason is that in addition to the influence of foreign marriage concepts and high housing prices, high economic pressures, coupled with the education level, high living standards and other reasons, there are also a considerable number of elderly single men and women themselves the root cause. That is: first think you're going to find a better partner.
This is also the kind of older single men and women who are often said to be east and west.
The reason why some people have never been married and started a family is not that they can't find a partner who suits them, but they always feel that they can find a better partner.
Sometimes, I obviously meet people who are very good in all aspects, but I feel that I can meet better, so I just keep consuming it.
Men want women to be good enough, preferably white and rich; while women are more willing to fall in love with rich and handsome.
The idea is very good, but the reality is bone and cruel, unconsciously turning itself into an older leftover man and a leftover woman.
Secondly, I have good conditions and can't find anyone to match.
There is also a situation that is particularly realistic, that is, their own conditions are too good, although they also want to find a suitable person, but most people feel that they are too good, and do not want to find a person worse than themselves, so they have not met the right person.
Just think, where in the world is there a perfect thing? So some people often say that the more excellent people are, the more difficult it is to find a partner that suits them.
Then there is the habit of living alone.
In addition to the above two reasons, there is also a situation that is accustomed to living alone, rather than falling in love and getting married, I want to be alone.
One person lives, one person eats, one person travels, one person eats enough for the whole family, enjoys a single life, and over time there is no idea of marriage.
Given the above reasons for the increasing number of older single men and women, how can we effectively push them out of the list as soon as possible?
I think: First, take the advice of your parents and let their elders help them come up with ideas.
After all, parents are "people who have come over", and they have experience and lessons in marriage, and listening to their parents' ideas and suggestions will definitely have benefits and no harm.
In China's thousands of years of marriage tradition, most parents want their children to find a partner who is equal or better in every way.
However, because many children do not have the resources to find a partner, helping blind dates from their parents is a good solution, and most marriages are completed in this way.
In the past, the "words of the matchmaker and the orders of the parents" were feudal ideas and were not advisable.
As parents, we should help their children to control and come up with ideas in the marriage of their children, and they must not make up their own minds.
Give your children the right to choose freely, so that they can find the other half they like.
Secondly, the departments work together to create convenient conditions for older single men and women.
To solve the problem of marriage and love between older single men and women, it is necessary for the Publicity Department, the Communist Youth League, the Women's Federation, the trade union and other departments to work together to actively hold various types of blind date activities, and can also carry out marriage guidance courses, dock with various units, and organize single men and women from different units to join together.
Through a series of activities, the social circle of older single young people will be enhanced, and more favorable conditions will be created for them to get rid of the single as soon as possible.
Then, correct the mentality and lower the standard. This is a very important and critical point.
Whatever the reason for being single now, impatience is useless. Only by correcting your own mentality can you seriously and rationally look at your marriage problems.
Since you are already older and single, perhaps because your mate selection standards are too high, you should also formulate a suitable standard according to your own conditions.
When choosing a mate, we can put the standard more on the conditions of character, responsibility, ability, and three views, rather than just talking about appearance and material, but also re-examining ourselves, changing ourselves, and improving ourselves. Make yourself more excellent, full of temperament and charm, so that you can attract the attention of others.
Only if you are good enough can you find the other half you want.
The fragrance of flowers has its own butterflies, and the nesting attracts the golden phoenix.
Finally, the "Golden Silk Dress" song sung by Du Qiuniang of the Tang Dynasty is used to make a beautiful interpretation of the marriage and love of older single men and women: "Advise the king not to regret the golden wisp, and advise the king to cherish the youth, the flowers can be folded and folded, and there is no need to fold the branches without flowers."
Older single men and women should cherish the only beautiful youth and good years that remain. Time is running out, don't miss the opportunity, work hard! Take off your order as soon as possible!
Of course, marriage is a lifelong event, sooner rather than later, as long as the two love each other look at each other, keep their promises for life, it is also a rare blessing in life!
May there be lovers in the world who will eventually become dependents!
About the Author
Zhai Youmin, a native of Haoshui County, university culture, member of the Communist Party of China. He once engaged in journalism work in the political department of a certain department of the Chinese People's Liberation Army, and was awarded the first class merit, and now works in the Political and Legal Committee of the Wuxue Municipal Party Committee. In the early 1980s, he began to create literature, and has published more than 1,000 novels, essays, reportages and other works in more than a dozen central and provincial newspapers and magazines such as People's Daily, People's Liberation Army Daily, China Legal Daily, Beijing Daily, Hubei Daily, People's Liberation Army Literature and Art, and Fangcao. He is a member of Hubei Writers Association.