When people reach middle age, they do not demand, do not agree, and do not give up on themselves

Bismarck, the iron-blooded prime minister, once said: "For the indomitable, there is no such thing as failure." ”

In other words, what can defeat oneself is never external people and things, but gives up in one's own heart.

When people reach middle age and want to live freely, they must learn not to demand, not to agree, not to give up, to follow the guidance of the heart, and to live as they want most.

01

Not demanding.

Man's suffering stems from attachment: attachment to the self, and attachment to others.

For example, working hard in the workplace, in the face of the criticism of the leader's split head and covered his face, some people show a look of humble acceptance and immediate correction in front of the leader, but as soon as the leader turns around, he is still "alive and jumping", which is completely inappropriate.

But the other kind of person, like a thunderbolt on a sunny day, is sullen for several days, conveying full of tension, depression and unhappiness.

It is true that if you want to gain a foothold in the workplace, it is not a good thing to be criticized by the leader, and the number of times, even if the level of ability is not bad, will be determined by the leader to be unable to match him, and be excluded.

But there is no doubt that the second kind of person lives too tired, even if he has fame, status, and power, but he is always walking on thin ice, always afraid.

But is it really necessary to embarrass yourself like this?

In the "Treatise on Zhuangzi Qi", it is written: "Mao Yan Liji, the beauty of man, the depth of fish seeing, the bird seeing high flying, the elk seeing the decisiveness, which of the four knows the right color of the world?" ”

This means that in the eyes of human beings, the hairy lily, which is incomprehensibly beautiful, is just an alien that makes them avoid it.

This parable tells people that everyone has different cognitions, different positions, and different standards of judgment, and the conclusions drawn are different.

Therefore, when people reach middle age, they have been in the workplace for one or two decades, have experienced large and small tests and blows, are well aware of the various means of "leaders", and are sad and emotional for a certain criticism of the leader, which is really unnecessary. As long as you do your best to work, you have no shame, and you don't need to force the approval of others

02

Disagree.

When people reach middle age, although they are in the bustling and downtown areas, they like to be alone more and more.

Every day out, meet familiar neighbors, colleagues, customers, always greet warmly, work hard to maintain a variety of connections, from time to time also need to organize a meal, plan a long trip, but with a purpose, in order to achieve the benefit of the link and sharing, need to rack their brains to deal with.

More and more, I feel that I have become the "person in the set" in Chekov's novel, with a solidified expression, a routine of words and deeds, and a gradually solidified thinking.

Occasionally looking in the mirror, you will feel that your face is hateful, trying to escape this kind of drifting, avoiding assimilation by the surrounding environment, and encouraging yourself to be brave to be a "disapproving" person.

As the parable of "scattered wood" told in "Zhuangzi's Human Life":

There was a large oak tree in the country of Qi, whose canopy could shade thousands of cattle, and whose tip was so high that it was close to the top of the mountain, and people were amazed, except for a carpenter named Shi who ignored it. Because in his eyes, this tree is a loose tree, and it is useless except for its good looks. At night, the oak tree dreamed to the carpenter and told him that he had been alive because he was useless.

This parable tells people that a seemingly "useless" person actually has his own uses.

People are always seeking to make themselves more "useful", so they are constantly learning, examining, and competing with the people around them. But he completely ignored his own interests, hobbies and strengths, and as a result, he tried his best and strived for something he did not like.

To be a person who "disagrees" requires courage and action.

For example, a science and engineering man who loves handmade crafts quit his "white-collar" job and founded a hand-knitted sweater studio, which is loved by high-end customers and the market is booming, not only achieving financial freedom in just a few years, but also driving many people to employment.

When people reach middle age, if they are still reluctant to try once for the love of their hearts, the regrets left behind will not be able to make up.

03

Don't give up.

Flowers have the beauty of flowers, and leaves have the uniqueness of leaves. Everyone is unique, do not have to compare with others, do not need to walk the road that others have walked, and live the same life as others.

The poet Yu Xiuhua is famous for writing poetry, but also for the abundance of physical disabilities and souls.

Faced with the trickery of fate: cerebral palsy caused by birth, indirectly losing the opportunity to enter the university because of poor handwriting, and entering a muddy marriage because of marrying a man in her teens, she compromised while fighting.

She poured out her joys and sorrows in the world of poetry, longed for beautiful love, a better life, and finally made her dreams come true.

But even in the "spotlight", she still did not give up being herself.

No matter whether the outside world gives her praise or depreciation, she is "spontaneous" to recoil, self-deprecation, self-motivation. As a result, she lived as many people dreamed: to live spontaneously and freely.

Everyone is not perfect, but as long as they do not give up the pursuit of beauty, then good things will surely come.

04

Conclusion:

When people reach middle age, it is the time when they are rich and powerful, and they are also the most suitable for "starting again".

Maybe it's loving someone you want to love, maybe you're doing something you want to do, and with the experience of the first half of your life, you have the courage to deal with challenges.

Do not insist, do not agree, do not give up, little by little will turn what you think into reality, maybe there is no one to accompany along the way, and any problems encountered have to be solved by yourself, but as long as you persist, you will see a different scenery.

Author: Like the wind is light as a cloud.

Your happiness, my blessings.

Images are from the web.