If the 39-year-old Dazai's "Human Disqualification" can make you feel the pain and helplessness of the world, then the 90-year-old Hengzi grandmother, after experiencing the whipping of war and the optimistic attitude of life after experiencing the changes of the times, will make you feel the beauty of life.
"May you go through a thousand sails and return as a teenager." Grandma Hengzi used a lifetime of life wisdom to write this book "Worth it in the world".
In the book, face the ultimate question of life: "How to spend this life to be meaningful?" Adhering to the life belief that "life does not have to be too hard, frankly accept every day", Grandma Hengzi turned 90 years of life wisdom into sincere advice on love, work, interpersonal relations, happiness, death and other topics, leading countless people through the muddy period of life.
We can think of the contents of the book as the teachings of an old man, or as a psychic doctor who exonerates himself in times of distress.
I believe that the author's eloquent narration, there is always a sentence that can make you suddenly enlightened and eliminate the worries in your heart.
The epidemic has been repeated, we reflect on life, struggle and strive to be a happy person, Hengzi Grandma made suggestions that maybe we will gain something.
01 Do low desire human beings
Some people are particularly concerned about their own happiness, they often compare with others to determine their happiness, for example, in terms of income, the size of the house, the child's school, grades, appearance, etc. to judge happiness, but this is meaningless in Hengzi's view.
She believes that if I live with the mentality of "what others do, I must do that too", it will become very hard. Because "it has to be done", it's like an unnecessary bag in life.
Some people originally did not want to do this, but they forced themselves to act, and if they carried too much, they would become less and less motivated. For example, in recent years, the wind of women's body anxiety and appearance anxiety has become bigger and bigger, and many women are obviously not fat, but they have also done fitness cards to try to make their bodies more perfect.
In fact, gym cards don't need to be used several times a year, and the flag that lost weight years ago has not been realized until the end of the year. Over time, it will only increase people's psychological burden and become more and more inactive.
Hengzi feels that the reason why some people like to follow the trend and like to compare with others is mostly because their desires are too high, and once they are bound by the values of others, they will not realize that they have fallen into the strange circle of desire.
When you're young, it's not a bad thing to use desire as motivation and work hard, but as you get older, you have to learn to understand yourself, and then slowly let go of the idea of "wanting to achieve more" and make yourself happy.
If you feel miserable every day, don't impose anything on yourself, but convince yourself that "it's okay to do this." Whether it is money or lifestyle, moderation is good for yourself.
Whether it is a life that gets ahead, a life without success, a life with children, a life without children, if you only compare yourself with others, there will never be a correct answer.
02 Instead of forcing others to change, it is better to focus on how you can live happily
In life, have you ever thought of something like, "It would be nice if he were nicer to me" and "Why does he always do this?" A mess of trivialities occupies your yearning for life, and irritability and irritability have become the main themes of life.
In fact, this is a very normal thing, even if you enter the workplace that you think is ideal with expectations, there will be something that will annoy you over time; even if you enter the marriage hall with someone you like very much, there will be things that are difficult for you to accept after a long time.
So Hengzi believes that no matter where you go, there is no environment or person in this world that satisfies you one hundred percent. Instead of gaining happiness by changing others, create happiness for yourself.
03 Is a lonely individual who lowers expectations of others
Jiang Xun wrote in the "Six Lectures on Loneliness": "Loneliness is the beginning of life, and without the experience of being alone with yourself, you will not know how to get along with others." ”
In life, each of us will have times of loneliness and uneasiness, for example, when women will have a feeling of loss after giving birth; when a person's attention is occupied by family and children, the friends who used to play together will slowly become estranged.
In fact, whether it is parents and family, or friends and lovers, we must understand a truth, that is, others will not always care about themselves, which is a matter of course.
Even if you love a child very much, he will grow up to be independent and start his own life. This is the mission of parents, but also the mission of children. Therefore, when others do not behave as much as you expect, please do not feel lonely and sad. For each other, "come and rejoice, go and let go" is the best way to get along.
When you realize that you are always alone, you will not expect too much from others. In this way, there is no shackle to bind yourself, live rashly, make friends with people you like, and stay away from people you hate. Even a person can live a sense of happiness.
In addition, we will subvert the understanding that work is for life, we will also appreciate those painful experiences, and we will know how to be a qualified parent...
After thousands of sails back is still a teenager, maybe "Buddha" a little, relax a little, life can be a little more arbitrary. When you are white-haired, look back and smile frankly: The world is worth it! #Spring Reading Season ##春日生活打卡季 #
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