Text & Photo/Yiren
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A different way of living
Cai Lan, the four talents of Hong Kong, said in "See open, let go, is life": "Everything is what you think out." If you think good, you are good; if you think bad, you are bad. ”
For example, he said: A man was walking down the street when he suddenly dropped a tile from the sky, hit him on the forehead, and bled. If you want to: this tile does not fall on other people's heads, why did it hit me, I am really unlucky!
If you think differently: If this tile hits the center of my head, I may die? I'm so lucky!
Sometimes, the reason why we live a boring and depressing life is that we love to drill the horns and tip of the bull's horns when things happen, and we don't think about the benefits. In fact, to change an idea, to change a mood, is to change a way of life. Maybe it will suddenly open up.
A kind old father, knowledgeable and stubborn, because of his opposition to his daughter's marriage, he was depressed all his life, complaining that his daughter was disobedient and blaming himself for not being capable, just like Zhou Zhigang, who loved his daughter in "In the World". He kept the word "unlucky" on his lips all day until he died. Let my daughter wash her face with tears every time she thinks about it.
The main reason why the old man is depressed is that he ignores a truth, the child's growth path includes marriage, career, need the child to go by himself, his own experience, excessive interference will only be counterproductive.
You gave your daughter life, but you did not give her the wisdom to distinguish between right and wrong and the wisdom to choose life, everything should be left to time to test.
Looking back on most of my life, it seems that the word "unlucky choice" has also run through.
From being replaced when he went to the countryside to join the army, to teaching in a different place for many years and not being able to return to Kaifeng; from the upheaval and displacement at work, repeated defeats in the business field, to the death of three surgeries, car accidents, and shock in the head...
I often lament that life is not opportune, self-pity and self-pity. In order to survive, we had to use the appearance of pretense to calm down to cover up the inferiority and fragility of the heart.
Later, I took advantage of the opportunity of career change to gradually get out of the shadow of introversion, cowardice and self-isolation, and tried to make myself "open and let go", replace the curse of "bad luck" with a rational mentality, treat the gains and losses of honor and humiliation with a broad perspective, let myself change a way of life, strive to do good deeds, do good deeds with all my heart, give people roses, leave incense in my hands, and achieve my own more satisfactory appearance.
Figure- Jiang Weiguo, airport area
In this regard, there is a small hair that can be used as an example. He is not highly educated, but he has a very good mentality and lives a relaxed and elegant life.
I didn't graduate from junior high school and joined the work, the sky south and the north ran everywhere, and the business was doing well. Some people were jealous and wanted to "clean up" him several times, sent him to the detention center three times, and finally regained his freedom because there was no evidence of any violation.
The first time he "went in", the prisoner wanted to clean him up and beat him hard with a rattan strip. He happened to be wearing a newly purchased sportswear that day, and just a few times he shouted "stop", and the thug asked: "What's up?"? "What's up?" Let me take off my clothes and beat them again, the meat can be long if it is broken, and the clothes are rotten, you buy me ah? "The whole number was confused, and the next day he became the chief.
In his eyes, he didn't seem to know what was called sorrow and what was resentment. A brother, everything was light and breezy, and the smoke dissipated. Therefore, he made many friends, drank wine and ate meat in large bowls every day, went with the flow, and lived happily with the situation.
He said to me: Strength and self-confidence are the golden keys to overcoming all difficulties. I think so.
There is also a kind of person in life, and their way of life seems to be viewed from a different perspective.
That year, I went to live in my daughter's house in Shenzhen for some time, and I met a literary friend with the online name "Solipsism", who was a retired deputy department-level cadre of a certain organ.
He is very talkative and has a certain degree of achievement in calligraphy and painting. In his self-knowledge, he knows astronomy and geography, and the world's major events are all-knowing. Talk to him you only when the audience listens, basically can't interject.
People who live this way feel super good about themselves. It is commonly called "narcissism" or "conceit". After a long time of contact, he actually regarded me, a literary friend from other places, as a confidant, and even told me about things that belonged to privacy.
I found that he had two distinct "characteristics": one was that he had few friends and that he was too stingy, including to himself. The two may be a causal inversion, including his marital problems. Divorced from his ex-wife for more than 30 years, he is still single, he has been in several places, he has been in a few places, he has said goodbye, according to him, the shortest three days, the longest is not more than one year.
His miserliness, at first it sounds a little strange, but it is the fact that he himself said it. According to his calligraphy skills, he could have joined the book association, but as soon as he heard that he had to pay the membership fee, he resolutely refused to join.
When going out to run errands, I prefer to walk, take the bus, ride the tram, never take a taxi, make three meals a day, what instant noodles, tofu stew cabbage and the like; people who come to dinner with friends do not refuse, but never pay...
I think that people who live this way of life are not called frugal, and according to our local dialect, they are called too "cutting the door". A slave to money all his life, it is strange to find a girlfriend!
The contact time has grown, I can't see his happiness, and I feel so pitiful when I see him alone every day and his brows furrowed.
I don't expect him to change the way of life, the ancient years are rare, I only hope that he is cold and warm and self-aware.
The method of changing life is to change ideas, change mentality, open the heart, pull yourself out of the melancholy and tangled situation, liberate from the inherent state, the heart to the sun, grateful to meet, cherish the possession, you can live easily and brightly.
There are many ways to live in life. There are several versions of The World:
The most familiar with Zhou Zhigang's paternalistic style of living, the love for children is silent, the heavens and the earth can be learned; the most touching Zhou Bingkun's living method, simple and kind to the extreme, for the lover can give up self-esteem without complaint or regret;
I most admire Zhou Rong's way of life, although a little selfish but romantic and enlightened, at the critical point of life, suddenly wake up, release talents, find their own happiness harbor; the most admire Zhou Bingyi's way of life, open-minded, deep righteousness, two sleeves of fresh wind, born to the sun;
I most admire Cai Xiaoguang's way of life, persistent and tolerant, preferring to wronged myself and perfecting others; the most despise Luo Shibin's way of life, cold, cunning, dirty, and finally the reincarnation of the Heavenly Dao, the death of the Nine Springs, the blame is self-inflicted.
The old saying cloud: the river is easy to change, the nature is difficult to move. Changing the way of living (including changing inherent bad habits) is not so easy, knowing that smoking, staying up late, not exercising is not good, and some people just don't change their mistakes. Knowing that this road is impassable or cannot see the distance, it is necessary to go forward with a hard scalp; knowing that stubbornness is wrong to mislead others, it is still entangled and wandering, and it hesitates...
As a human being, we must live clearly, think clearly, see openly, let go, give up and get, dare to love and dare to hate. The so-called heavens do not pay off, as long as you work hard, do your best, have a good mood, a good mentality, will definitely make you turn around, desperate.
After reading a book called "Another Choice", the female author wrote about her unfortunate and energetic experience of helping those in need, choosing a hopeful and bright tomorrow. "As long as there is love in the heart, everything will be clear."
Maslow said, "If your heart changes, your attitude changes; your attitude changes, your habits change; your habits change, your character changes; your personality changes, your life changes."
What's the point of changing the way you live?
In a small way, bid farewell to the past, chase hope and light, live a relaxed and happy life; in a big way, tap your own potential, become elegant, open-minded, and patterned, and be a person who is useful to the country and society; and further in depth, the way of living changes the world and the world, you can feel the most beautiful scenery, so as to discover the best of yourself!
I particularly like a quote by Dumas in The Count of Monte Cristo: "All the wisdom of mankind is contained in these four words: waiting and hope." ”
I would like to encourage all my friends. （2022.03.30）
*Author-Yiren: Kaifeng, member of The Chinese Prose Literature Association and the Henan Writers Association. Columnist of "Blueeye Has Plus Qyyjtcq".