What is sexual chemistry?
When you develop a direct physical attraction to someone, that's the hallmark of sexual chemistry. Sweaty palms and shortness of breath. You'll soon be drawn to someone, and often intensely. Sexual chemistry is usually evident at the beginning of a relationship and is an important part of many relationships.
The danger is that you may interpret sexual chemistry separately to reflect deeper connections. If you don't know more about this very attractive person, you just don't know who they are.
Sometimes, chemistry does reflect deeper connections. But how can you tell the difference between what is sexual chemistry and hinting at deep intimacy that is more possible?
This article will delve into the benefits and drawbacks of sexual chemistry, the chemicals our brains produce in our feelings of desire and love, information about how attachment is done, what happens when chemistry decreases, and much more about the bonds of intimacy and love.
Desire and attraction
Desire is the desire for sexual satisfaction. The hypothalamus of the brain affects the production of the hormones testosterone and estrogen. This drives our libido feelings.
When we are attracted to someone, our brains release high levels of dopamine and norepinephrine. Dopamine and norepinephrine "make us dizzy, energetic, and euphoric"2 sometimes cause loss of appetite and the inability to sleep.
We all know that friends or family members say they can't eat, sleep, or concentrate after meeting someone special. They are dizzy. They are very excited about the new relationship they claim to be in love with. Usually, this is talking about physical chemistry.
Strong sexual chemistry attraction can lead to good short-term relationships. As long as both parties recognize the time they are truly together, a relationship based on physical enjoyment can develop well.
Benefits of sexual chemistry
When sexual chemistry leads to sex, there are many benefits. On the physical side, in addition to having sex as a form of exercise that can improve your health, your immune function is enhanced, you get a positive heart effect, and even the feeling of headaches when you have a migraine is reduced.
The psychological benefits of having sex after sexual chemistry are also multifaceted. Some of the proven benefits include stress relief, 3 higher happiness rates and improved sleep quality.
Therefore, when sexual attraction leads to sexual relations, it can have many positive effects.
The dangers of sexual chemistry
Unfortunately, when some couples are attracted to each other in a passionate, physical way, one person may want a more lasting relationship while the other is content to just keep the relationship physically.
At other times, one partner discovers that the other person's lifestyle is unhealthy or exhibits a lot of destructive behavior. Couples may find that they bring out the worst of each other.
This is not a good sign when two people ignore other relationship dynamics in order to build a strong physical and sexual relationship. Infidelity, alcoholism, drug use, and other serious problems should never be overlooked because of sex.
When two people are obsessed with each other and have extraordinary sexual chemistry, it may be difficult for them to leave each other, but know that they can't be together either. This type of relationship can quickly become toxic.
How attachment styles affect us
Dr. Amy E. Keller, Ph.D. in psychology, marriage and family therapist, believes that falling in love with someone and having good sexual chemistry can sometimes be related to past attachments. Sometimes, she suggests, this may include "unconscious and unresolved family dynamics."
May be strongly attracted to people who remind you of the past, including unconscious and unresolved family dynamics. For example, you may be attracted to a partner who is similar in image to your primary parent, but he doesn't meet the needs you want to be met. As a result, you may find yourself unconsciously trying to heal through a relationship with your partner.
It is important to navigate this through awareness-raising, courageous communication, great care and intention. Healing from trauma that occurred in past relationships through your current relationship can also be repeated.
Sexual chemistry does not protect you from childhood problems. Ideally, as we mature, the way we interact and behave in relationships reflects what is known as a safe attachment style. This means we are socially comfortable, trusting others, have good self-esteem, and share our feelings with friends and family.
But Dr. Amy (who is known as) warns us, "If a couple falls down the rabbit hole together to the point of ignoring friends and family in their love bubble, it usually doesn't end well." She adds, "That said, most people don't come to the table with secure attachment and aren't immediately prepared for a healthy, mature relationship." ”
For example, for those who exhibit a fear-avoidant attachment style, while they crave love and affection, they don't trust others and are reluctant to build intimate relationships. This is often associated with childhood trauma, and these people struggle to maintain healthy relationships.
According to what Dr. Amy has seen in her practice, "Many people have attachment styles that avoid or are anxious. If they still want to explore a relationship with that person, all they need to do is slow down and take it slow. ”
In addition to slowing down and moving forward at a more organic, less intense pace, the good news is that those with insecure attachment styles can develop safer attachment styles under the care and proper guidance of a mental health professional.
A secure attachment style is possible, but it takes time, care, intention, effort, and healing relationship wounds in relationships with yourself and others.
Attachment styles develop over time, and people with all attachment styles can have relationships with people with different attachment styles. This can be cured through awareness, communication, intention, and openness, willingness, and commitment to heal, change, do different things, and grow.
When the sexual chemistry decreases
Sexual chemistry can promote relationships and ultimately lead to intimacy. Physical attraction can help people build deep emotional connections later in life.
What happens when the chemistry is reduced? When the glow of infatuation and attraction dims, couples see each other's quirks and flaws in the bright glow of consciousness, and that's when they're put to the test.
At that point, they can decide whether the basis of the relationship is purely material and will not go any further. Or do they want to continue on the path of getting to know each other better, and maybe eventually together?
Of course, the stresses of everyday life and lack of time can affect the sex lives of people who date or spend some time together. Work challenges, financial stress, and the birth of a child can have a negative impact on a couple's past carefree sex life.
However, once couples overcome the barriers that arise from mutual understanding and living together, they are expected to have developed intimacy, respect, and love for each other. They can continue to build satisfying relationships without giving up their sexual selves.
Sexual chemistry remains an important part of maintaining relationships and thriving.
The role of intimacy
Intimacy can be defined as physical, mental, and emotional intimacy. The results of one study suggest that intimacy enhances sexual desire between romantic couples. As a result, these partners had more sex. 4
So, it's clear that intimacy will enhance any relationship. People can improve their relationships and marriages by creating more emotional intimacy by increasing the amount of time couples spend together, turning off electronic devices, being fully present with each other, and communicating in an open, vulnerable, and honest way.
How the fear of intimacy can lead you to avoid or destroy the relationship
Romantic relationships
As mentioned earlier, sexual chemistry can lead to mature, loving relationships. If so, you can be sure that mature, intimate, and loving relationships reflect two people who have been united.
Oxytocin, which is produced in the hypothalamus, is a neurotransmitter that helps us feel empathy and attachment and truly connects the 3 to each other. Oxytocin is nicknamed the hug hormone and is sometimes referred to as the love hormone. In parent-child relationships, when old friends speak, when partners embrace lovingly, oxytocin plays an undeniable role in building and maintaining intimate, loving relationships.
Very much so
While sexual chemistry can be a passionate and almost euphoric feeling, it can sometimes affect your judgment or create a false sense of intimacy when looking for a partner. If you find it difficult to figure out whether your desire for another person stems from desire or love, a therapist can help you understand and sort out your feelings.