Are you the same:
I know that the direction is wrong, but I still can't stop, I know that a person is not worth it, but I still can't put it down.
Either in a relationship, you have been seriously hurt, and you really realize that the other party is not a good person, but you are still unwilling to get rid of the relationship, or you want to continue.
Either they are clearly separated from each other, and they know that the other party is scummy, they know that they should move forward, but they are still trapped in this.
I especially knew in my heart that I should stop in time and start again, but I couldn't do it at all.
For such a self, we will look down on it, feel that we just know that we can't do it, and at the same time, even if we all understand, we will still soberly watch ourselves sink all the time.
Can't stop loss in time, this is a problem that many people have, behind this, its deep-seated reasons, in fact, is not difficult to understand.
Unwilling, I feel that I have given too much.
Love someone, of course we will want to give for each other.
From the bottom of your heart, you will always want to give each other a lot, regardless of it.
At the moment when we pay for each other, we may be willing to do everything, and we have not thought about whether the other party will give us back, and will be as good to us as we treat each other.
Emotionally, we can't take care of so much at all, but when one day, we find that we have paid too much thought, paid too much money, and even gambled on our own future, but the other party does not cherish it, we will suddenly wake up.
It will be as if you have just woken up from a dream, recalling the bits and pieces of the past little by little, and starting to calculate all that you have paid.
At that time, we paid a lot of time, paid so much sincerity, but the other party did not take it seriously, we really will suddenly have a lot of unwillingness, feel that the other party should not do that to us, this should not be our end.
Therefore, with such a mentality, even if you know that the other party is not worthy, and know that the other party cannot give the happiness you want, there is still no way to let go of the other party, and you will only want to entangle with each other all the time.
It seems that only in this way, his heart will be better, even if he has been fighting with each other in various ways, and has been circling around each other, he will obviously be more sad, but he also feels that he can only do so, there is no choice.
Can't afford to lose, bent on winning back.
In life, for some time, each of us will really not be as strong as we think. It is even said that our hearts are not strong at all, but they are only very fragile.
In this way, we will be more acceptable for some good things and success, but for some bad things, for our own failures, we will not be willing to accept it at all.
Especially for feelings, there will be no way to accept that they love each other so much, but the other party does not love themselves at all, and they and each other can only have such a bad ending, and they can only lose badly.
At that moment, we will really have a special desire to win and lose, and we are bent on getting back a lot from each other.
It seems that only a little bit of what we get from the other person, whether it is the other person's guilt or the other party's apology, the other party's unhappiness or not, no matter what, we always hope to win a little.
It seems that only in this way can I not look too embarrassed, and I can get some comfort in my heart.
And until we really get something back, we really can't let go, even if we will seem very masochistic, we are still bent on rushing forward desperately, and we can't take care of any reason at all.
Of course, in this process, we can't really win anything back at all, but we will only delay ourselves and lose more and more.
There are still expectations, hoping that the other party can change.
Many times, when everything in front of you is not what you want, some people will choose to accept reality and will not compete too hard, while others will only have various fantasies, and there are always some unrealistic imaginations.
For example, always feel that if you give each other a little more time, the other party will definitely recognize their own good, and give the other party a little chance, the other party will recognize their mistakes, and then return to their own side and begin to cherish themselves.
I believe that the other party will change, I believe that each other will still be possible, and I believe that it will be better in the future.
When we always think like this, living in our own fantasies, of course we can't cut off each other.
They will just stand where they are, waiting for each other to look back at themselves, waiting for each other to suddenly have a new opportunity.
Even if the other party obviously looks so fierce, even if the other party already has new people around them, our fantasies are still unable to let go, and we will only be stupid and stupid.
It seems that only in this way can we find the meaning of our own existence, and we can also find a little dignity from each other.
However, this expectation is basically impossible to achieve, but it will only fail, we and that person, it is impossible to go back, that person can not suddenly change sex, really start to be good to us.
We can't stop the loss in time, and in the end, the reason is still on our own.
It is that we ourselves are too unwilling to accept reality, and we have been waiting silly.
If we always feel unwilling, there are always illusions, there are obsessions, of course we have no way to get out of each other's shadows, we will only keep trapping ourselves in it.
I can't extricate myself, I always live a special life, I can't accept anyone anymore, and I can't love others anymore.
On the contrary, if we can let go, no matter how much we have paid, no matter how good the past is, we can no longer be grumpy, we can actually take back our feelings in time and withdraw from this feeling in time.
Can't stop longing, can't stop giving, only really cut the other party from the heart, in order to embrace another life.
Learning to stop is what we really should do.
Text/Tan Meng
Pictures/network