Article transferred from | Read at ten o'clock
Author | Fuso
Broadcast | Wu Bingjie
Visual design | Fan Wei Wang Rongjia
Column host | Du Runnan
A few days after the start of school, my daughter, who had just entered junior high school, was sick like a frosted eggplant.
After several questions, she confided in me:
Because of her fat body, she was ridiculed by her classmates many times, and was also called nicknames in front of all the teachers and students of the school when doing exercises;
Because of his introverted personality, he worked hard to stay up late to do PPT, and was robbed of the credit by students who could speak the Tao;
What bothered her the most was that two good friends had an argument, so she had to choose one or the other, otherwise she would break off her relationship...
These things, like the snow that weighed on her heart, made her breathless.
All along, our daughter has been held in the palm of our hands, afraid that she will bump and be bullied.
Unexpectedly, she actually had so many grievances and hearts in a situation that we did not know.
Looking at my daughter's sad look, I was both distressed and self-condemning, and I couldn't help but fall into reflection.
Some people say that raising a son worries for a while, and raising a daughter worries about a lifetime.
Compared with boys, girls are sensitive, delicate, soft, and their lives have to go through many ups and downs that we can't see.
The family has a daughter, in addition to giving full love and care, but also to lead her to become a strong person.
Especially when faced with the following four things, be sure to bravely say "No! ”
Dare to say no to "crossing the line" and learn to protect yourself
A few days ago, I went to kindergarten to tell stories to middle school children.
The sun was shining, and the teacher took the children to move freely in the playground.
A little girl dressed in pink squatted on the ground playing a picnic game.
There was a strong little boy who always circled around her, pulling braids and rubbing clothes.
When the girl noticed, she stood up and wanted to change places.
I didn't expect to be held tightly by the boy, and no matter how she struggled, she wouldn't let go.
The teacher quickly stopped the boy: "You like Babe very much, do you want to play with her?" ”
The boy nodded.
The teacher said, "But you just hugged her so tightly that she couldn't breathe!" How else can I play with you? ”
Instead, he said to the girl: Whether it is a hug or a kiss, if others make you feel uncomfortable, you must be brave enough to say it.
On the side, I couldn't help but praise this teacher.
With a daughter at home, we need to teach her rules gently and firmly and raise awareness of her physical boundaries.
From an early age, helped her establish a concept of privacy.
When she is older, give sex education in a timely manner. Starting with gender education, she was guided to distinguish between men and women.
When she grows up, we also have to teach her how to protect herself in the relationship between men and women.
If the other party's behavior is uncomfortable or even scared, it must be stopped in time.
Don't lose your boundaries and hurt yourself because the other party is unhappy.
There is a ruler in the heart, and there is a measure in the deeds.
Girls with a clear sense of boundaries have a higher safety factor and are more able to protect themselves at critical moments.
Dare to say no to "pretty" and show your unique beauty
"This kid is so pretty, he looks like a doll."
Do you often praise a girl like this, thinking that "pretty" is the highest praise for her?
If you have a daughter, let go of this prejudice.
Because of a dance competition video, Liu Xun (sī), a 6-year-old girl from Chongqing, is on fire.
In the video, the fleshy little man, with two soaring braids, wears a fiery red dance dress.
After concave styling, one second into the state: shake your head, raise your hand, turn around... The dance steps are skillful and neat, and the eyes are persistent and determined.
In the end, Xiao Xiaohan lived up to expectations and stood out in the competition.
Xiao Xiaohan squinted, large face, small short legs, really can't talk about beauty. But the light she emits when she throws herself into the dance is too dazzling to ignore.
At the end of the game, someone asked her who she was prettier than a certain star.
Without hesitation, she replied, "Of course it's me." ”
This determination and self-appreciation is even more eye-catching.
Every girl is unique.
Instead of being a cookie-cutter doll, learn to appreciate yourself and achieve a unique landscape.
The family has a daughter, and we need to have a pair of eyes that find beauty. Searching for and celebrating her daughter's strengths and uniqueness, encouraging her to explore and think outside the box.
Over time, girls will accept and appreciate their true selves.
Then he dared to say "no" to the beautiful, had the courage to fight against the worldly vision, and the confidence of "I am what I am, I like me".
Dare to say no to "gregariousness" and maintain a sober judgment
When children like to be alone, are you worried? Always encouraging her to make more friends and integrate into the group?
In the documentary "Zero Zero", there is a girl named Yiyi, who likes to play alone and is comfortable.
When the teacher tried to convince her, she said, "I have the right to do this." ”
Indeed, everyone has their own choices. Whether you are gregarious or not really doesn't matter.
Instead of finding a sense of identity and belonging in the group, it is better to draw on quality energy and make yourself stronger.
When self-awareness and group conflict, ask your heart what you really think and stay aware and judgmental.
Dare to say no to "sensible",
Live your own colorful life
A few days ago, I went to a friend's house to play, and my son liked a mug from her daughter Lele.
The friend immediately wanted to give it to him. He said timidly, "This is my favorite cup." ”
As soon as I listened, I quickly returned the cup to her.
The friend complained: "A cup is just a cup, what is wrong with letting it go to my brother?" It's so ignorant! ”
As girls, we are often asked to be sensible.
It seems that as long as you are sensible enough, you can embrace a happy life.
The family has a daughter, and we must help her tear off this label.
Meet her legitimate needs and give her a full sense of security.
Encourage her to learn to refuse, not to blindly please and accommodate; to have the courage to release emotions and express her true self.
Don't base your self-worth on the feedback of others, have the courage to be loved and the courage to create a wonderful life.
From teeth and teeth, to toddlers, to cardamom years...
Our little cotton jackets grew up slowly.
One day, she will experience the wind and frost alone, and face the thorns and storms of life alone.
Therefore, when she is young, we must teach her to learn to be independent, clear-minded, emotionally strong, and deal with her relationships with others.
And daring to say "no" to the above 4 things is the first step for her to accept herself and stand in the world.
Source | Ten Point Reading (ID: duhaoshu), a national reading number subscribed by more than 30 million people. Please contact Ten O'Clock Reading for reprints.
Author | Fu Sang, a sensitive person who loves words, a second mother who fights wits and courage with children.
Responsible Editor | Zhao Li