How do we spread this sex education to our children?
Many mothers have told me, "How can I talk to him about sexual protection for such a child?" ”
They don't know how to educate their children.
Therefore, we have to go to the mountains and tell our children, "The body is your own, and no one can see it, and no one can touch it." ”
In fact, this kind of education is very easy, but why do many parents not know it? They will say that we are not good at educating children.
I believe that sex education is one of the important contents of life education and should start from an early age.
How small is it?
Before the age of 6.
However, when talking about sex education, we must first understand how we understand the meaning of sex.
Now, a lot of sex education is about reproduction, contraception and other knowledge.
I think it's a misunderstanding of sex.
As human sexual knowledge, there should be a "human" meaning.
Man is not a purely impulsive animal, man is a social animal, man is a rational animal, and man is a civilized animal.
Therefore, human sex is not just the sex of "sexual intercourse".
As a human sex education, there should be a gradual process, should be a complete process of sexual psychological development.
Human sexual knowledge should include something like this (in chronological order):
First, sex education before the age of 6 is about instilling in children how to protect their bodies.
At this time, sex education is to instill a sexual concept and self-protection consciousness in children.
Childhood sex education should be done by the mother, the mother can communicate with the child when bathing the child, tell him (her) why only the mother or father can give him (her) bathe, this is because the body is not everyone can look at casually.
When we wash some sensitive parts of his or her body with a towel, we have to tell him or her: "These parts cannot be touched by others!" If anyone wants to touch it, you must tell me quietly when you come back. It's a secret between the two of us, okay? ”
When the child is 6 years old and wants to go to school, we should have such a content in the many words we tell the child: "Child, go to school to listen to the teacher's words, study well." However, if a teacher asks you to take off your pants, you should not listen to such words and quietly tell me when you come back. Remember? ”
In fact, a lot of sexual harm to young children occurs when children are completely ignorant of sex.
Therefore, this kind of education must be told to him (her) before the age of 6, that is, before he or she goes to elementary school.
Second, sex education in early adolescence (around the age of 12) is to let teenagers understand "what is gender charm and cultivation".
When a person enters puberty, he or she already has sexual awareness.
However, at this time, sex education should guide teenagers to understand the way of human sexual expression and understanding, that is, how to cultivate and show gender charm, and how to understand each other's sexual psychology.
How to appreciate gender charm, that is, courtship and pursuit in social interaction, this is part of the knowledge of love.
This kind of education should be carried out at the junior high school level through teacher lectures, film and television demonstrations, and classroom discussions.
We often see that some junior high school students dress boldly and strangely because their psychological development "self-awareness" during this period is very strong, and they want to attract the attention of others and make people think that he or she is precocious, self-reliant, bold, cool or very pretty.
However, this dressing up means that he or she lacks an understanding of gender charm.
In fact, people with special appearances and special appearances will give people a sense of avant-garde, meaning bold and not caring about anything, or not willing to be lonely to be in the limelight.
Although these impressions will attract the opposite sex, they are by no means the opposite sex that intends to accompany you for a long time.
This kind of appearance should also attract the opposite sex who is bold, does not care, and is not responsible.
In addition to appearance cultivation, there is also the cultivation of gender behavior: if a boy shouts at his mother in public, if a boy takes the lead in grabbing a seat by virtue of his own advantages in a crowded bus, if a girl dares to beat others up, if a girl dares to scold people loudly in public...
Just think, who of this opposite sex would dare to invite him to be a lifelong partner?
Gender charm is not the charm of gender organs, but the natural speech and behavior in social life, that is, the cultivation of appearance and behavior.
Therefore, parents and educators must tell their children when conducting sex education at the beginning of adolescence: how do you cultivate to get the love and respect of the opposite sex, under such cultivation, you can meet a person of the opposite sex who is willing to accompany you for a lifetime because of your unique charm, thus establishing a happy harbor.
The demeanor of men and the cuteness of women are very learned and need to be learned and cultivated.
Third, the sex education of children at the age of 16 is the education of human sexual history, so as to further understand the relationship between "sex and law" and "sex and morality".
When adolescence is in its later stages, through history lessons, we can tell children how human beings have come to understand "the meaning of sex to human beings" in the long course of history.
Sex is not only a matter for two people, but also determines the rise and fall of a race and a nation.
Why did humanity change from an original matriarchal society to a patrilineal society?
Why did it change from group marriage to a fixed sexual partner?
Why is it that in the two basic desires of people, "food" and "color", there are not only moral constraints on "sex", but also legislative control?
Why are there taboos and rules in different nationalities, countries, and religions regarding sexual behavior?
If we ignore all this, if we do not understand all this as human beings, then man's life has not evolved to the level of civilization, and his wanton sexual indulgence will lead to the destruction of himself, his family, and even a nation...
Therefore, sex education should be the transition education of people from ignorance to understanding, from willfulness to reason, from psychological immaturity to psychological maturity, from a newborn natural person to a semi-natural person before puberty, and then to a social person after adulthood, which is a lesson that must be taught by people from the natural level to the level of civilization.
——Excerpt from Li Meijin's essay "Sex Education Is Not Equal to Reproductive Education"