@Booming
Hello old Lee, I have a question. The family introduced me to a girl, she is a nurse, I instinctively have some resistance in my heart, because the Internet says that the nurse circle is a bit chaotic, I am afraid that I can't control it at all, but it is introduced by the family, there is no way to meet with it.
Later, after meeting, I found that the girl was still quite lively, it can be said that she was a talker, and being with her made me feel more relaxed, and the scene was not as awkward as I thought, but there was one thing that made it difficult for me to understand. We have known each other for more than half a month, but she has never taken the initiative to find me, and every time I take the initiative to chat with her, and then half a day to reply. However, when she came out to meet, she did not refuse, and she met five times in most of the month, that is, to eat, watch movies, and play an escape room, although it seemed very intimate, but we had no physical contact.
Later, she and her colleagues were eating barbecue on the side of the road, and then called me to come over, but I had something at the time, I refused, and then I gave me a box of chocolates, I also accepted, most of the time, we still do a lot, but the relationship has not been obvious progress, I don't know what she means, and later I also asked her, she still feels that the time spent together is too short, think I am a little anxious.
Old Li, do you think this girl really wants to get along with me?
Old Lee:
What is the biggest fear of blind dates? It is not to meet with the blind date today, and then say "inappropriate", but I am afraid of seeing a blind date, the other party has not given a reply, but also keep sucking blood on you. Blind date is a process of screening and being screened, it is impossible to meet your own destiny as soon as you come up, so not only you, there are many boys who have such a distress: what is the attitude of the other party to me?
Most men don't want to waste too much time on a person, in the eyes of men, blind dates to see a few faces, suitable or inappropriate to know, even do not have to meet, say their respective conditions and standards, meet the original marriage is good, waste so much time on it, this is the essential difference between men and women in the treatment of blind dates.
For boys, of course, they want to know urgently whether the other party is really getting along with themselves, or just want to find a long-term meal ticket. Then old Li feels that these characteristics, you must be able to distinguish:
01
Men measure a relationship and like to use money, while women like to use feelings, but feelings need to be cultivated with money.
Men like women, in fact, do not have to listen to what the other party says, see how he does it, except for some boys who are particularly picky, if a man really likes you, then in you, he must be willing to bet more money, eat, watch movies, give gifts, send red envelopes, everything will not fall, because in the eyes of men, there is nothing more direct than "spend money for you" more direct expression.
You will find that many men, even if they have no money, but as long as they are generous to girls, they can find girlfriends many times, because in the reserved girls, in the face of boys' gifts, they will feel touched and happy. Although girls may not really understand boys, the feelings cultivated with money are the most direct and effective, and the easiest to believe.
Here's a very simple example:
A man, with a wealthy family, countless real estate, and a business under his name, is a proper rich man, but every time he eats with you, he will choose to eat roadside stalls, because in his opinion, the taste of mountains and treasures and seafood has become tired.
B man, an ordinary otaku, no house and no car, is an ordinary migrant worker, but every time he takes you out to eat, he will choose a high-end restaurant, he can spend half a month's salary for you to invite you to eat a big meal, take you to a high-end place.
If girls don't know the background of two men, which one will they be more inclined to choose? I think the probability of choosing B will be greater. After all, with B, the feelings that girls have are more intense because she is exposed to more things that she has not been exposed to.
Of course, I am not encouraging boys to spend money, but what I want to express is that in the process of blind dates, the economic costs incurred must be worth the money, otherwise any consumption is a waste of resources. From this point of view, you will find that the girl said to you that the time is too short and does not understand enough, in fact, it is that you feel that the touch and surprise you brought to her are not enough.
02
We communicate with people, we interact with robots, we don't talk to machines.
A normal blind date process, must be our process from the machine, to the robot to the human process, at the beginning the girl will treat us as a machine, almost no girls in the first time, on the initiative to chat with the blind date, the vast majority of boys plus girls' contact information, and then start the first sentence of the dialogue.
Because in the eyes of the girl, the boy is still just a machine in her heart, the machine will only be noticed when it is running, and if it does not work, it will never be noticed, or even abandoned. And when the two people officially meet, the status of the boy in the girl's mind will rise to the height of the robot. That's when the two people interact.
Many boys are actually stuck in this stage, that is, the other party will interact with themselves, but will not really communicate, and if we are in this stage for a long time, then there is no doubt that we are treated as a long-term meal ticket. This relationship is like us and smart phones, when we shout out "little love classmates", it must be because we have our own needs, rather than communicating with normal people.
So to what extent do we become a "person" in the minds of girls? I divide this situation into four types:
1, girls began to take the initiative to invite you into her circle, and even into her core circle of friends.
2, girls began to look for topics, and began to take the initiative to try to understand your internal needs, such as planning for the future, attitudes towards marriage and so on.
3, girls take the initiative to give gifts, not after receiving your gifts in return, but an active gift.
4, the appearance of a little girl's posture.
As long as one of these four states appears, it almost shows that the girl has treated you as a normal person, at least start to try to communicate with you, as you said, she will invite you to eat barbecue, will take the initiative to send you chocolate, in fact, this is a kind of relationship progress.
03
Her demands and her own attitude towards what she asks of herself.
I have been observing, and found that those girls who treat each other as long-term meal tickets in blind dates or intimate relationships have a trait that their requirements tend to be relatively high, and when they ask for themselves, they can always be lowered without a bottom line.
For example, some girls, when they ask boys, they will dislike each other too much, or they will not hurt her enough, so that boys instinctively have a sense of inferiority, but if they take the same requirements to demand themselves, then girls will be able to reduce their requirements indefinitely. For example, my ex-girlfriend, she asked me to invite her to a high-end restaurant to eat and buy branded cosmetics every time, but when I asked her to read more books to improve herself, she would use "I am a girl, why do I read so many books", but in her circle of friends, you will find that she often posts a book and a cup of coffee photos.
For such girls, they are actually more like treating boys as prey, rather than being an independent individual, and different requirements are their biggest characteristics. However, I have always believed that such girls are a minority after all, and in the vast majority of blind dates, they will rarely meet, because this type of girl is not likely to enter the blind date market. Therefore, for boys who are in the blind date stage, they can rest assured of this kind of thing.
Blind dates are needles in a haystack, but in fact, most people don't know what the other half they desire should look like.
This requires us to have great courage and patience, before you have fully understood a person, do not easily conclude to affirm or deny, give each other more opportunities to contact and understand, in order to let us in this process, understand their own inner needs, but also in our hearts to constantly improve the appearance of the other half.
Blind dates actually need to pay time, but also need to digest emotions, those who talk about the right and inappropriate people as soon as they come up, where is looking for a wife, it is clear that they want to find a "face"!