Li Yinhe's news can always cause many people to denounce, her new lover, her bold concept of marriage and love, her medical beauty...
The reason for the condemnation is: how can she be worthy of Xiaobo when she does this!
Teacher Li Yinhe is the widow of Wang Xiaobo.
How to be a good widow?
The word widow first came from Han Yu's "Letter to Zheng Xianggong", and the popular interpretation is that of the woman who died of her husband; the more popular explanation is the widow. Widows are not easy to do. Celebrity widows are even harder to do.
Whatever the person's previous job was, and where she had her accomplishments, from the moment she lost her husband, all her titles disappeared, leaving only the heaviest one:
So-and-so's widow.
Nostalgia became the whole of her life, every year, every month, every day, every minute, every second, she had to live in the shadow of nostalgia. It is best not to go out, if you come out to participate in activities, it is best to always have sadness on her face, if she has an occasional smile, everyone will secretly say: "Time is still so short, she has forgotten him." ”
All the meaning of her existence is to be a living fossil, a reminder that that good time once existed.
In this sense, Li Yinhe is certainly not a good widow. Not only did she find a new same-sex lover, but she also revealed Wang Xiaobo's unknown privacy in a new book.
Wang Xiaobo's love for Li Yinhe is a good memory of our youth, and the phrase "Hello, Li Yinhe" once evoked many tears and sorrows in us, but now, it has become a kind of consumption realization. The anger of netizens is understandable.
Of course, Li Yinhe is not the first rebel, and he will certainly not be the last. In the widow's world, there is always a complex human nature.
Zhang Lingfu's last words left in this world were: "Yuling (Ling) my wife, now forever." This year, Wang Yuling was 19 years old. She was Zhang Lingfu's fourth wife. In April 1949, Wang Yuling first went to Taiwan, and then went to the United States to study and work in search of a new life. During this period, Wang Yuling has been alone and has never remarried. She worked in the airline for 20 years until after retirement, when she returned to China with her son.
For her behavior, the son is a little incomprehensible: "Her ideas are outdated, the world is changing so fast now, who will wait for whom." 」 ”
Song Qingru and Zhu Shenghao's marriage was only two years. However, before that, they talked about love for ten years, and Zhu Shenghao's love letter can be proved. Asked about their married life, Song Qingru only had one sentence: "He translates the sand, I cook." When Zhu Shenghao died, he left behind the unfinished Henry V, leaving behind an unpublished 1.8 million-word translation of Shakespeare, as well as Song Qingru and their children.
All the motivation for Song Qingru to survive was to sort out Zhu Shenghao's manuscript. But it can be said that without Song Qingru, there would be no Shakespeare translated by Zhu Shenghao that we see today, which is the best translation of Shakespeare.
Liao Jingwen was evaluated as "a woman who was born for Xu Beihong and lived for Xu Beihong." From the moment he met Xu Beihong, Liao Jingwen's life was full of Xu Beihong's brand.
In 1939, 16-year-old Liao Jingwen traveled to Guilin for the first time from Hunan as a schoolgirl. She saw that the preparatory office of the Chongqing Academy of Fine Arts was recruiting a librarian in Guilin, ready to try it, and in the examination room of the oral examination, she met Xu Beihong, who was 28 years older: "He is a little old and old. He was only in his 40s at the time, but he already had two sideburns like frost. He had a lot of white hair and a little haggard and pale, but the contours of his face were very beautiful. ”
After Xu Beihong and Jiang Biwei dissolved their marriage, liao Jingwen married Xu Beihong in January 1946. On September 26, 1953, Xu Beihong died of cerebral hemorrhage. Their marriage was less than ten years.
When Xu Beihong died, Liao Jingwen was only 30 years old. In the rest of her life, there are two main things: First, she donated more than 1,200 works left by Xu Beihong, and more than 1,000 famous calligraphy and paintings of Tang, Song, Yuan, Ming, Qing and modern times, books, pictures, steles, and art materials collected by Xu Beihong to the Ministry of Culture, and donated a set of apartments in Beijing to establish the Xu Beihong Memorial Hall. This is one of the most complete individual donations in the history of Chinese art.
The second is to spare no effort to safeguard Xu Beihong's reputation. To be more specific, it is to spare no effort to curse Xu Beihong's ex-wife Jiang Biwei. Liao Jingwen's biggest dissatisfaction with Jiang Biwei was that when Jiang Xu divorced, Xu Beihong agreed to paint for Jiang. Liao Jingwen said that because of this batch of paintings, Xu Beihong's body continued to deteriorate, and he would die young.
Liao Jingwen said in an interview before his death: "I am most looking forward to Chinese said 'underground yellow spring', where all people will meet after they die." I hope that after I die, I can meet Misery in the 'Underground Yellow Spring'. You don't know how much I want to see him again. When I see him again, I will lean on his chest and tell him how I have spent the decades and how I miss him. I'm going to tell him all about my pain. ”
Lin Su is probably the most difficult string in the world to do, after all, the person she married is Liang Sicheng. Liang Sicheng and Lin Huiyin are the most famous CP of the Republic of China.
Without Lin Su, Liang Sicheng would probably become the most perfect husband in the world, and Lin Huiyin's life may be rendered more wonderful and perfect.
Lin Su has many "black spots", for example, she was once Lin Huiyin's little fellow, and Lin Huiyin, who was on the sickbed, once taught her English during her illness. In this sense, fans certainly can't accept Lim Soo as Lin Huiyin's marriage successor. Second, on the occasion of Lin Huiyin's centenary birth, she published a copy of "Liang Sicheng, Lin Huiyin and Me", and in the CP of the Republic of China, a third person suddenly appeared, of course, can not tolerate. Third, in the book, she revealed a lot of Lin Huiyin's affair, and also said a lot of Liang Sicheng's love after marriage with herself, which of course shattered the hearts of many people.
As a continuation, identity is always awkward. As a continuation of the famous CP, it is destined to become a living target that is attacked by others.
But my most distressed widow is Lu Xiaoman.
After Xu Zhimo's plane crash, Lu Xiaoman's pressure was enormous. Because the blow was too great, Lu Xiaoman completely collapsed and could not go to Shandong to claim the body. In the end, it was Xu Zhimo's ex-wife Zhang Youyi who came forward and sent his thirteen-year-old son Xu Jikai and his eighth brother to handle the aftermath. This matter was greatly criticized, friends accused Lu Xiaoman of inaction, and Zhang Youyi complained in her memoirs:
What's wrong with her? Since then, I no longer believe in the kind of love that Xu Zhimo and Lu Xiaoman have in common.
But Zhang Youyi forgot that she had the support of Xu Zhimo's father, a son, a clan, a friend, and more public opinion, and Lu Xiaoman at that time had nothing.
After Xu Zhimo's death, the people who came out to write memorial articles were Xu Zhimo's friends, and everyone pointed the finger at Lu Xiaoman, accusing Xu Zhimo of running between Shanghai and Beijing because of her profligacy.
In Yu Dafu's commemorative article, it is said that Xu Zhimo ran away from home and went to Beijing because he quarreled with Lu Xiaoman, and Lu Xiaoman threw something and broke Xu Zhimo's forehead.
This is certainly not a fact, because Xu Zhimo's going to Beijing was decided long ago. Moreover, before the incident, the others had already arrived in Nanjing, and they had planned to take Zhang Xueliang's Ford-style plane back to Beijing, but before leaving, Zhang Xueliang informed him that he had changed his schedule due to the incident. In order to catch up with Lin Huiyin's speech on ancient Chinese architecture to foreign guests at the Peking Union and Small Auditorium that night, Xu Zhimo could not wait to take a postal plane to Beijing on the 19th.
By the way, everyone rumored that after Xu Zhimo's death, Lin Huiyin asked Liang Sicheng to go to Shandong, bring back a piece of plane wreckage, put it in her bedroom, and mourn every day. This is a rumor that Lin Huiyin's family's aircraft fragments are in honor of her brother Lin Heng, a pilot who sacrificed his life for the country.
Before boarding the plane, Xu Zhimo sent a text message to Lu Xiaoman, which said: "There is heavy fog in Xuzhou, and I don't want to leave with a headache, and I am ready to return to Shanghai." He also took a pair of Lu Xiaoman's landscapes with him, planning to take them to Beijing to write inscriptions for his friends.
If love is gone, why bother?
But strangely, in the face of these accusations, Lu Xiaoman has remained silent.
Xu Zhimo's father did not let her attend the memorial service, and he only recognized Zhang Youyi as a daughter-in-law. Lu Xiaoman did not resist or resist, and she sent someone to send him to bang lian:
How many former dust into nightmares, five years of mourning, hurrying and eternal tips, the heavenly path of revival, wanting to die failed to be because of the mother and old;
Don't hate who to say, a sad illness, a faint soul, the human world should not be long, the posthumous editor will answer the king's heart.
In the eulogy, it is very clear that the five-year marriage is hurried and eternal, and the reason for living is because of the "mother and old", and what to live is to "answer the king's heart by writing the last text".
She did.
She no longer goes to social places and closes her doors. Painting and compiling Shima's anthology were the two most important things she did in the second half of her life.
In the thirty-four years after Xu Zhimo's death, she wrote for him such books as "Yunyou", "Aimei Xiaozha", "Shima Diary", "Selected Poems of Xu Zhimo", "Complete Works of Shima" and so on. Times have passed, others have long had their own opportunities, only she has always been concerned about the publication of Xu Zhimo's collection, running the publishing house over and over again, hoping and disappointed, working hard but never giving up, she hopes to express love and thoughts with practical actions.
Another change is that she suddenly gets old.
When Yu Dafu's ex-wife Wang Yingxia first met Lu Xiaoman, she was once amazed by her beauty. Wang Yingxia was also a beautiful woman at that time, which shows Lu Xiaoman's style. However, after Xu Zhimo's death, Wang Yingxia recalled that when she went to visit Lu Xiaoman, what she saw was "a hairy head, probably not even washing her face, and it seemed that she had been old for several years." ”
In her bedroom hung a large portrait of Shima, which had never been taken off, and every few days she always had to buy a bouquet of flowers for him. She said to Wang Yingxia: "The beautiful flowers are the symbol of Shima, and he will never wither, so I will not let the flowers have a day of withering." ”
But Wang Yingxia then said: "Xiao Man has ruined herself badly, her teeth have all fallen out, she has not had a single one, and she has become a skinny little old woman." ”
At this time, she was only in her forties.
However, in the eyes of outsiders, Lu Xiaoman is still not a competent "widow", because she and Weng Ruiwu live together.
This kind of cohabitation is really a bit of a last resort. Weng Ruiwu is the doctor invited by Xu Zhimo to Lu Xiaoman, who fainted several times and recovered after Weng Ruiwu's treatment.
When Xu Zhimo was alive, some people gossiped, and Weng Ruiwu once said with a straight face: "I came here at the invitation of Shima!" After Xu Zhimo's death, only Weng Ruiwu was willing to take care of Lu Xiaoman. Xu Zhimo's father was furious because he learned about Weng Ruiwu, cut off all contact with Lu Xiaoman, and refused to provide life support. After Weng Rui learned of this, he simply gambled and ran upstairs (originally living downstairs) and openly cohabited with Lu Xiaoman.
Of course, this is "insulting to the door style", and even Hu Shi wrote a letter to advise her to leave Weng Ruiwu quickly. Based on the morality of his friends, Hu Shi always felt that as the widow of the poet Xu Zhimo, it was inevitable to insult her former husband Huifeng by mixing with an unpopular man.
But has anyone ever thought about what Lu Xiaoman should do?
She wrote back to Hu Shi saying that she had no love for Weng Ruiwu. Then he did not say a word and continued to remain silent.
She only said to Zhao Qingge: "When Shima dies and I am widowed, can't widows make friends?" Shima lived in the same building before he was born, will he move out? Besides, he has worked very hard to take care of me for more than ten years, how can I be unkind to him? Outside the rumors, I have been deaf for a long time, anyway, it is a friendship relationship, what others think, let it go, I am not ashamed. ”
Weng Ruiwu also took good care of Lu Xiaoman and was consistent. In order to provide for Xiao Man, he sold all his collections. Around 1960, material shortages, for a pack of cigarettes, a piece of meat, Weng did not hesitate to brave the heat, against the cold queue to try to get it. He has a Relative in Hong Kong, and sometimes has a side food gift, Weng also only takes 1/10, and the rest are given to Xiao Man.
In 1961, two days before Weng's death, he asked Zhao Qingge and Zhao Jiabi to meet, but still did not forget to entrust them: "In the future, please take more care of Xiao Man, I will be grateful under the Nine Springs." ”
In Lu Xiaoman's world, there is still only Xu Zhimo.
When she and Wang Yingxia were reunited, she said: "Everything in the past seems to have had a nightmare, sweet, sour, bitter and spicy, and all kinds of tastes have tasted everything... How beautiful would Shima have been if he had lived to this day! ”
When she was hospitalized, she said to Zhao Qingge, "If only Shima didn't take that little plane." ”
Zhao Jiabi came to see her, and she said, "If Shima had known before he was alive that our motherland was so good, he would have been as happy as I am, but unfortunately he died too early." ”
……
On April 3, 1965, Lu Xiaoman died in Shanghai Huadong Hospital at the age of 63. The only pair of ties a friend sent her reads:
Push the heart is only sincere, the world often leaves a legacy; how high the pen is, a lifetime and a half tired smoke cloud!
Her landscape is very delicate, light and elegant. Dong Qiao especially admired her paintings, "Xiao Man's paintings, when I encounter one painting, I want one. Dong Qiao said that it is rare for beautiful people to paint horses, and Lu Xiaoman's paintings "use light colors and fine pens, which is Lu Xiaoman's natural skill, coupled with small letters, words with bones and flesh, and inscriptions that are ancient and beautiful." ”
I still think she's a pity, living up to her talent.
In this sense, Teacher Li Yinhe's maverick behavior is very valuable.
People must always learn to say goodbye to the past and face the future. If you feel happy and think it is worth it, in fact, anyone's accusations are floating clouds, and this kind of courage is not everyone has.